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Funny Airport Stories

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  • 13-08-2012 3:10pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,179 ✭✭✭


    I don't know if there has been a similar thread started so apologies if there has been.

    I told this story that happened to me to people in work and some of the their responses and stories of their own were hilarious. Here's what happened to me anyway...

    It was January 2010 and a few of us decided to go to London. Went on a mad one on the last night and woke up with the worst hangover possible. I can't remember what airport we were flying out from but myself and two of the lads were in the duty free. I'm not messing this woman was holding up the hole queue by literally paying in 1p's. We eventually paid for out stuff and then there was an announcement saying our names for the Dublin flight. We absolutely legged it, everything I had bought in the shop was weighing me down and eventually my trousers fell to my ankles while I was running, so I had to dump everything I had bought on the ground to run to the gate. We made it, showed them our passports and on we got, we were the last 3 people on the plane. Put my bad wherever and sat down.

    Grand, chuffed we just about made the flight and my head is pounding so hard. I check my pockets for my passport (don't ask me why), I realise I can't find it, so I asked the hostess if it was possible for me to check outside because I may have dropped it going up the steps. She asks me do I have my passport, I said no, not on me so she goes off and checks. I'm still looking for it like a complete gob****e, she comes back to me and says its not outside and if I can't find it in 5 minutes I'll be kicked off the place. At this stage, I don't register what she just said to me and in a panic myself and the lads and to be fair most people on the plane start looking for my passport. Nowhere to be seen, I have student and bus I.D's but the pilot won't let me fly with them. My 5 minutes is up and next thing I know I'm standing on the tarmac with £20 to my name a phone low on battery.

    I'll cut a long story short. My mate gets off the plane to stay with me, he has checked in a bag so the flight is delayed over an hour. In that space of time I could have easily found my passport. The phone call to my parents telling them I was not at Dublin airport but in fact still in London and what had happened was rather interesting. Anyway, we travel to Heathrow knowing that a flight the next morning *might* let me fly with my student I.D. My friend gets money wired to him to pay for the flights. An 8am flight from London to Dublin cost €250 each. I get a call off one of my mates to be told that some guy found my passport under his bag! We slept on the lovely steel chairs in the airport and made friends with travellers who had tarmacked parts of the Naas road who were off to Oz to do a bit of tarmacking! As we waited for our passport/I.D to be checked to get on the plane my mate turns to me and reassures me that if I don't get let on that he has to go and I'll be left on my own, with no money! Everyone was handing up their passports, I stroll up and hand them my bloody bus pass and student card, you're one looks at me as if I've 12 eyes, I just look at her and told her it was a long story. Got on the plane, no bother! Such a relief!

    Get back to Dublin and as you can imagine I get a lovely welcome off my parents. My parents were convinced myself and my mate had missed the flight on purpose so we could spend an extra night with a couple of girls (I wish). They eventually believed me and sent a complaint to this certain airline along with witness statements from other passengers. Eventually they responded and refunded myself and my friend for roughly €600 (flights and travel expenses).

    Now I know what you's are all thinking, why did I say anything to the hostess about my passport being missing in the first place? Hindsight is great, I never for a second thought they would kick me off the flight!
    How my passport got under somebody else bag? When I got on the plane I was so wrecked I just put my bag anywhere and without realising I put my passport in with it as well!

    In a weird way, I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:


«13

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    I didn't find your story to be that funny tbh.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,881 ✭✭✭JohnMarston


    bren2001 wrote: »
    I don't know if there has been a similar thread started so apologies if there has been.

    I told this story that happened to me to people in work and some of the their responses and stories of their own were hilarious. Here's what happened to me anyway...

    It was January 2010 and a few of us decided to go to London. Went on a mad one on the last night and woke up with the worst hangover possible. I can't remember what airport we were flying out from but myself and two of the lads were in the duty free. I'm not messing this woman was holding up the hole queue by literally paying in 1p's. We eventually paid for out stuff and then there was an announcement saying our names for the Dublin flight. We absolutely legged it, everything I had bought in the shop was weighing me down and eventually my trousers fell to my ankles while I was running, so I had to dump everything I had bought on the ground to run to the gate. We made it, showed them our passports and on we got, we were the last 3 people on the plane. Put my bad wherever and sat down.

    Grand, chuffed we just about made the flight and my head is pounding so hard. I check my pockets for my passport (don't ask me why), I realise I can't find it, so I asked the hostess if it was possible for me to check outside because I may have dropped it going up the steps. She asks me do I have my passport, I said no, not on me so she goes off and checks. I'm still looking for it like a complete gob****e, she comes back to me and says its not outside and if I can't find it in 5 minutes I'll be kicked off the place. At this stage, I don't register what she just said to me and in a panic myself and the lads and to be fair most people on the plane start looking for my passport. Nowhere to be seen, I have student and bus I.D's but the pilot won't let me fly with them. My 5 minutes is up and next thing I know I'm standing on the tarmac with £20 to my name a phone low on battery.

    I'll cut a long story short. My mate gets off the plane to stay with me, he has checked in a bag so the flight is delayed over an hour. In that space of time I could have easily found my passport. The phone call to my parents telling them I was not at Dublin airport but in fact still in London and what had happened was rather interesting. Anyway, we travel to Heathrow knowing that a flight the next morning *might* let me fly with my student I.D. My friend gets money wired to him to pay for the flights. An 8am flight from London to Dublin cost €250 each. I get a call off one of my mates to be told that some guy found my passport under his bag! We slept on the lovely steel chairs in the airport and made friends with travellers who had tarmacked parts of the Naas road who were off to Oz to do a bit of tarmacking! As we waited for our passport/I.D to be checked to get on the plane my mate turns to me and reassures me that if I don't get let on that he has to go and I'll be left on my own, with no money! Everyone was handing up their passports, I stroll up and hand them my bloody bus pass and student card, you're one looks at me as if I've 12 eyes, I just look at her and told her it was a long story. Got on the plane, no bother! Such a relief!

    Get back to Dublin and as you can imagine I get a lovely welcome off my parents. My parents were convinced myself and my mate had missed the flight on purpose so we could spend an extra night with a couple of girls (I wish). They eventually believed me and sent a complaint to this certain airline along with witness statements from other passengers. Eventually they responded and refunded myself and my friend for roughly €600 (flights and travel expenses).

    Now I know what you's are all thinking, why did I say anything to the hostess about my passport being missing in the first place? Hindsight is great, I never for a second thought they would kick me off the flight!
    How my passport got under somebody else bag? When I got on the plane I was so wrecked I just put my bag anywhere and without realising I put my passport in with it as well!

    In a weird way, I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:

    Cool story bro....:o


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 377 ✭✭Dublin Chick


    bren2001 wrote: »
    this woman was holding up the hole queue

    There was a queue for holes.....:eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,808 ✭✭✭FatherLen


    bren2001 wrote: »
    I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:

    you're worse than hitler...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭saiint


    i dont think id have the patience for someone like you haha
    i hate when the plane is delayed any longer then it has to be
    specialy if its someone on a plan causing the delay
    id freak out if you held me up on a plane for an hour and 5 minutes when to get from london to dublin is less then 40 minutes haha


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    bren2001 wrote: »
    I don't know if there has been a similar thread started so apologies if there has been.

    I told this story that happened to me to people in work and some of the their responses and stories of their own were hilarious. Here's what happened to me anyway...

    It was January 2010 and a few of us decided to go to London. Went on a mad one on the last night and woke up with the worst hangover possible. I can't remember what airport we were flying out from but myself and two of the lads were in the duty free. I'm not messing this woman was holding up the hole queue by literally paying in 1p's. We eventually paid for out stuff and then there was an announcement saying our names for the Dublin flight. We absolutely legged it, everything I had bought in the shop was weighing me down and eventually my trousers fell to my ankles while I was running, so I had to dump everything I had bought on the ground to run to the gate. We made it, showed them our passports and on we got, we were the last 3 people on the plane. Put my bad wherever and sat down.

    Grand, chuffed we just about made the flight and my head is pounding so hard. I check my pockets for my passport (don't ask me why), I realise I can't find it, so I asked the hostess if it was possible for me to check outside because I may have dropped it going up the steps. She asks me do I have my passport, I said no, not on me so she goes off and checks. I'm still looking for it like a complete gob****e, she comes back to me and says its not outside and if I can't find it in 5 minutes I'll be kicked off the place. At this stage, I don't register what she just said to me and in a panic myself and the lads and to be fair most people on the plane start looking for my passport. Nowhere to be seen, I have student and bus I.D's but the pilot won't let me fly with them. My 5 minutes is up and next thing I know I'm standing on the tarmac with £20 to my name a phone low on battery.

    I'll cut a long story short. My mate gets off the plane to stay with me, he has checked in a bag so the flight is delayed over an hour. In that space of time I could have easily found my passport. The phone call to my parents telling them I was not at Dublin airport but in fact still in London and what had happened was rather interesting. Anyway, we travel to Heathrow knowing that a flight the next morning *might* let me fly with my student I.D. My friend gets money wired to him to pay for the flights. An 8am flight from London to Dublin cost €250 each. I get a call off one of my mates to be told that some guy found my passport under his bag! We slept on the lovely steel chairs in the airport and made friends with travellers who had tarmacked parts of the Naas road who were off to Oz to do a bit of tarmacking! As we waited for our passport/I.D to be checked to get on the plane my mate turns to me and reassures me that if I don't get let on that he has to go and I'll be left on my own, with no money! Everyone was handing up their passports, I stroll up and hand them my bloody bus pass and student card, you're one looks at me as if I've 12 eyes, I just look at her and told her it was a long story. Got on the plane, no bother! Such a relief!

    Get back to Dublin and as you can imagine I get a lovely welcome off my parents. My parents were convinced myself and my mate had missed the flight on purpose so we could spend an extra night with a couple of girls (I wish). They eventually believed me and sent a complaint to this certain airline along with witness statements from other passengers. Eventually they responded and refunded myself and my friend for roughly €600 (flights and travel expenses).

    Now I know what you's are all thinking, why did I say anything to the hostess about my passport being missing in the first place? Hindsight is great, I never for a second thought they would kick me off the flight!
    How my passport got under somebody else bag? When I got on the plane I was so wrecked I just put my bag anywhere and without realising I put my passport in with it as well!

    In a weird way, I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:
    realies wrote: »
    I didn't find your story to be that funny tbh.

    i seen this so i didnt bother reading your story :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,760 ✭✭✭summerskin


    bren2001 wrote: »
    I don't know if there has been a similar thread started so apologies if there has been.

    I told this story that happened to me to people in work and some of the their responses and stories of their own were hilarious. Here's what happened to me anyway...

    It was January 2010 and a few of us decided to go to London. Went on a mad one on the last night and woke up with the worst hangover possible. I can't remember what airport we were flying out from but myself and two of the lads were in the duty free. I'm not messing this woman was holding up the hole queue by literally paying in 1p's. We eventually paid for out stuff and then there was an announcement saying our names for the Dublin flight. We absolutely legged it, everything I had bought in the shop was weighing me down and eventually my trousers fell to my ankles while I was running, so I had to dump everything I had bought on the ground to run to the gate. We made it, showed them our passports and on we got, we were the last 3 people on the plane. Put my bad wherever and sat down.

    Grand, chuffed we just about made the flight and my head is pounding so hard. I check my pockets for my passport (don't ask me why), I realise I can't find it, so I asked the hostess if it was possible for me to check outside because I may have dropped it going up the steps. She asks me do I have my passport, I said no, not on me so she goes off and checks. I'm still looking for it like a complete gob****e, she comes back to me and says its not outside and if I can't find it in 5 minutes I'll be kicked off the place. At this stage, I don't register what she just said to me and in a panic myself and the lads and to be fair most people on the plane start looking for my passport. Nowhere to be seen, I have student and bus I.D's but the pilot won't let me fly with them. My 5 minutes is up and next thing I know I'm standing on the tarmac with £20 to my name a phone low on battery.

    I'll cut a long story short. My mate gets off the plane to stay with me, he has checked in a bag so the flight is delayed over an hour. In that space of time I could have easily found my passport. The phone call to my parents telling them I was not at Dublin airport but in fact still in London and what had happened was rather interesting. Anyway, we travel to Heathrow knowing that a flight the next morning *might* let me fly with my student I.D. My friend gets money wired to him to pay for the flights. An 8am flight from London to Dublin cost €250 each. I get a call off one of my mates to be told that some guy found my passport under his bag! We slept on the lovely steel chairs in the airport and made friends with travellers who had tarmacked parts of the Naas road who were off to Oz to do a bit of tarmacking! As we waited for our passport/I.D to be checked to get on the plane my mate turns to me and reassures me that if I don't get let on that he has to go and I'll be left on my own, with no money! Everyone was handing up their passports, I stroll up and hand them my bloody bus pass and student card, you're one looks at me as if I've 12 eyes, I just look at her and told her it was a long story. Got on the plane, no bother! Such a relief!

    Get back to Dublin and as you can imagine I get a lovely welcome off my parents. My parents were convinced myself and my mate had missed the flight on purpose so we could spend an extra night with a couple of girls (I wish). They eventually believed me and sent a complaint to this certain airline along with witness statements from other passengers. Eventually they responded and refunded myself and my friend for roughly €600 (flights and travel expenses).

    Now I know what you's are all thinking, why did I say anything to the hostess about my passport being missing in the first place? Hindsight is great, I never for a second thought they would kick me off the flight!
    How my passport got under somebody else bag? When I got on the plane I was so wrecked I just put my bag anywhere and without realising I put my passport in with it as well!

    In a weird way, I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:

    Not funny at all. Not even in the slightest.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 268 ✭✭Culleeo


    TL;DR, He lost his passprt and got thrown off his flight and then he got a flight the next day, it was hilarious :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,776 ✭✭✭Noopti




  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 305 ✭✭Jimminy Mc Fukhead


    bren2001 wrote: »

    ...........I'll cut a long story short................

    Hang on there. Don't skip any details. I want the full story please.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    Wheres the funny bit?


  • Registered Users Posts: 943 ✭✭✭Real Life


    i cant believe i read all of that, i will never get that 2 minutes back


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,199 ✭✭✭Shryke


    bren2001 wrote: »
    I don't know if there has been a similar thread started so apologies if there has been.

    I told this story that happened to me to people in work and some of the their responses and stories of their own were hilarious. Here's what happened to me anyway...

    It was January 2010 and a few of us decided to go to London. Went on a mad one on the last night and woke up with the worst hangover possible. I can't remember what airport we were flying out from but myself and two of the lads were in the duty free. I'm not messing this woman was holding up the hole queue by literally paying in 1p's. We eventually paid for out stuff and then there was an announcement saying our names for the Dublin flight. We absolutely legged it, everything I had bought in the shop was weighing me down and eventually my trousers fell to my ankles while I was running, so I had to dump everything I had bought on the ground to run to the gate. We made it, showed them our passports and on we got, we were the last 3 people on the plane. Put my bad wherever and sat down.

    Grand, chuffed we just about made the flight and my head is pounding so hard. I check my pockets for my passport (don't ask me why), I realise I can't find it, so I asked the hostess if it was possible for me to check outside because I may have dropped it going up the steps. She asks me do I have my passport, I said no, not on me so she goes off and checks. I'm still looking for it like a complete gob****e, she comes back to me and says its not outside and if I can't find it in 5 minutes I'll be kicked off the place. At this stage, I don't register what she just said to me and in a panic myself and the lads and to be fair most people on the plane start looking for my passport. Nowhere to be seen, I have student and bus I.D's but the pilot won't let me fly with them. My 5 minutes is up and next thing I know I'm standing on the tarmac with £20 to my name a phone low on battery.

    I'll cut a long story short. My mate gets off the plane to stay with me, he has checked in a bag so the flight is delayed over an hour. In that space of time I could have easily found my passport. The phone call to my parents telling them I was not at Dublin airport but in fact still in London and what had happened was rather interesting. Anyway, we travel to Heathrow knowing that a flight the next morning *might* let me fly with my student I.D. My friend gets money wired to him to pay for the flights. An 8am flight from London to Dublin cost €250 each. I get a call off one of my mates to be told that some guy found my passport under his bag! We slept on the lovely steel chairs in the airport and made friends with travellers who had tarmacked parts of the Naas road who were off to Oz to do a bit of tarmacking! As we waited for our passport/I.D to be checked to get on the plane my mate turns to me and reassures me that if I don't get let on that he has to go and I'll be left on my own, with no money! Everyone was handing up their passports, I stroll up and hand them my bloody bus pass and student card, you're one looks at me as if I've 12 eyes, I just look at her and told her it was a long story. Got on the plane, no bother! Such a relief!

    Get back to Dublin and as you can imagine I get a lovely welcome off my parents. My parents were convinced myself and my mate had missed the flight on purpose so we could spend an extra night with a couple of girls (I wish). They eventually believed me and sent a complaint to this certain airline along with witness statements from other passengers. Eventually they responded and refunded myself and my friend for roughly €600 (flights and travel expenses).

    Now I know what you's are all thinking, why did I say anything to the hostess about my passport being missing in the first place? Hindsight is great, I never for a second thought they would kick me off the flight!
    How my passport got under somebody else bag? When I got on the plane I was so wrecked I just put my bag anywhere and without realising I put my passport in with it as well!

    In a weird way, I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:

    You will, will you? I got that far and stopped, sorry.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,456 ✭✭✭✭Mr Benevolent


    Next.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,566 ✭✭✭Funglegunk


    bren2001 wrote: »
    I don't know if there has been a similar thread started so apologies if there has been.

    I told this story that happened to me to people in work and some of the their responses and stories of their own were hilarious. Here's what happened to me anyway...

    It was January 2010 and a few of us decided to go to London. Went on a mad one on the last night and woke up with the worst hangover possible. I can't remember what airport we were flying out from but myself and two of the lads were in the duty free. I'm not messing this woman was holding up the hole queue by literally paying in 1p's. We eventually paid for out stuff and then there was an announcement saying our names for the Dublin flight. We absolutely legged it, everything I had bought in the shop was weighing me down and eventually my trousers fell to my ankles while I was running, so I had to dump everything I had bought on the ground to run to the gate. We made it, showed them our passports and on we got, we were the last 3 people on the plane. Put my bad wherever and sat down.

    Grand, chuffed we just about made the flight and my head is pounding so hard. I check my pockets for my passport (don't ask me why), I realise I can't find it, so I asked the hostess if it was possible for me to check outside because I may have dropped it going up the steps. She asks me do I have my passport, I said no, not on me so she goes off and checks. I'm still looking for it like a complete gob****e, she comes back to me and says its not outside and if I can't find it in 5 minutes I'll be kicked off the place. At this stage, I don't register what she just said to me and in a panic myself and the lads and to be fair most people on the plane start looking for my passport. Nowhere to be seen, I have student and bus I.D's but the pilot won't let me fly with them. My 5 minutes is up and next thing I know I'm standing on the tarmac with £20 to my name a phone low on battery.

    I'll cut a long story short. My mate gets off the plane to stay with me, he has checked in a bag so the flight is delayed over an hour. In that space of time I could have easily found my passport. The phone call to my parents telling them I was not at Dublin airport but in fact still in London and what had happened was rather interesting. Anyway, we travel to Heathrow knowing that a flight the next morning *might* let me fly with my student I.D. My friend gets money wired to him to pay for the flights. An 8am flight from London to Dublin cost €250 each. I get a call off one of my mates to be told that some guy found my passport under his bag! We slept on the lovely steel chairs in the airport and made friends with travellers who had tarmacked parts of the Naas road who were off to Oz to do a bit of tarmacking! As we waited for our passport/I.D to be checked to get on the plane my mate turns to me and reassures me that if I don't get let on that he has to go and I'll be left on my own, with no money! Everyone was handing up their passports, I stroll up and hand them my bloody bus pass and student card, you're one looks at me as if I've 12 eyes, I just look at her and told her it was a long story. Got on the plane, no bother! Such a relief!

    Get back to Dublin and as you can imagine I get a lovely welcome off my parents. My parents were convinced myself and my mate had missed the flight on purpose so we could spend an extra night with a couple of girls (I wish). They eventually believed me and sent a complaint to this certain airline along with witness statements from other passengers. Eventually they responded and refunded myself and my friend for roughly €600 (flights and travel expenses).

    Now I know what you's are all thinking, why did I say anything to the hostess about my passport being missing in the first place? Hindsight is great, I never for a second thought they would kick me off the flight!
    How my passport got under somebody else bag? When I got on the plane I was so wrecked I just put my bag anywhere and without realising I put my passport in with it as well!

    In a weird way, I can proudly say I am the main reason why a flight was delayed for over an hour :pac:

    Actually I'm not sure that you do.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭saiint


    this thread should be renamed

    Not so Funny Airport Stories


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,776 ✭✭✭Noopti


    saiint wrote: »
    this thread should be renamed

    Not so Funny Airport Stories

    Or just "A Story"


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Wow, the suspense and you leave us on a cliffhanger

    Do we have to wait until next weel to find out if you got your passport back?


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,251 ✭✭✭✭Birneybau


    bren2001 wrote: »
    II'll cut a long story short. :pac:

    No, I will.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭Bad Panda


    There was a queue for holes.....:eek:

    Glory holes.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭davet82


    somebody lock this thread and put it out of its misery


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,205 ✭✭✭Bad Panda


    I went the airport once.. realised I'd forgot my passport so had to go home and get the car and drive to Cork.

    Hilarious, no?!


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,295 ✭✭✭✭Duggy747


    Not that hilarious but still......

    Was getting a flight to London last year and had to arrive at Shannon airport at the middle of the night. Sat down at the entrance where there was just me, my GF, a sleeping security guard at his desk, a cleaner sweeping about, and a German couple sitting a few seats behind us with his GF lying her head down in his lap chatting away.

    At one point I noticed the GF kept turning around and had a look of disgust on her.

    Me: "What?"
    GF: "I think your wan is giving a blowjob to the guy"
    Me: "Fùck off, they wouldn't do out in the open........"

    I turn around to see guy have his arms spread out, his head staring at the ceiling with his GF's head bobbing up and down furiously. I found it pretty funny at how they didn't give a shìt about anybody around them.

    They get up together and head off to the jacks. The guy was like a Viking, gigantic and big hairy head on him while the girl was a tiny, stick-thin specimen.

    About 10 minutes later, the Viking comes back to his seat, still buckling up his pants with a shìt-eating grin on his face.

    I gave some nudges and winks to the GF but she was having none of it :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,110 ✭✭✭✭retalivity


    I once bought Ralph Lauren Polo aftershave at Duty Free in Lyon Airport, and they had no fivers left!!
    It was incredible, and you won't believe what they did...they gave me one and two euro coins instead!!!!

    Unbelievable!!!!!!

    EDIT: Forgot to say...they also gave me two tenners instead of a twenty. the palputations....


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    I remember once going to the airport.

    I went to the check in desk and got everything sorted.

    Next i went through security and done all the usual things.

    Then I collected my belongings and went to my departure gate. Think it was 56.

    After about 45 minutes we all started to queue up to get on the plane.

    10 minutes later i was on the plane.

    A further 10 minutes passed and we were taking off.

    The end.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,381 ✭✭✭nbar12


    retalivity wrote: »
    I once bought Ralph Lauren Polo aftershave at Duty Free in Lyon Airport, and they had no fivers left!!
    It was incredible, and you won't believe what they did...they gave me one and two euro coins instead!!!!

    Unbelievable

    YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!?


  • Registered Users Posts: 159 ✭✭BlimpyBoy


    This is a piece of advice my father gave to me. Now this refers not only to lagging, but all forms of insulation. He said "dont ever"...no, wait, it was "always"...no er, "never, never" - oh wait now, I've forgotten. Never mind. Whats your favourite humming noise? Would it be mmm-mmmmm or would it be mmmm-mm? The first one there, now thats the sound of a fridge humming and the second one, now thats the sound of a man humming. You never hear a woman humming. I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterwards. Now if you push me to it, I'd have to say my favourite colour is grey. No, blue. A soft blue with a hint of grey. No, orange. Yes, orange. I remember now. I had an extension put on the house, and I put it on the extension, so the house is in a circle now, you see...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,351 ✭✭✭NegativeCreep


    You are all terrible people. OP, I loved your story. Just please don't tell it again :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,033 ✭✭✭mauzo


    I've posted this before but I think its funnier than the OP...

    An old lady collapsed, I gave her CPR she let go of her bowels, came around after 5 minutes of CPR and said she must have collapsed because of the smell. She almost collapsed again when I told her she did a number 2 in her pants.

    PLane was delayed while they got her case and let her change.

    That's a good reason to delay a flight I think.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    BlimpyBoy wrote: »
    This is a piece of advice my father gave to me. Now this refers not only to lagging, but all forms of insulation. He said "dont ever"...no, wait, it was "always"...no er, "never, never" - oh wait now, I've forgotten. Never mind. Whats your favourite humming noise? Would it be mmm-mmmmm or would it be mmmm-mm? The first one there, now thats the sound of a fridge humming and the second one, now thats the sound of a man humming. You never hear a woman humming. I knew a woman once, but she died soon afterwards. Now if you push me to it, I'd have to say my favourite colour is grey. No, blue. A soft blue with a hint of grey. No, orange. Yes, orange. I remember now. I had an extension put on the house, and I put it on the extension, so the house is in a circle now, you see...




    Hi Kevin :)


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