Gender Imbalance in Dublin?

Waestrel

First of all, this is in no way a complaint, just an observation

Based on my own observations, and the opinions of some of my female friends there seems to be a "shortage" of men around Dublin in the late 20s to early 30s age bracket. I saw this recently at a Spanish class I took here, 70 % women. A foreign friend of mine made same comment about this to me in reference to several house parties she has attended recently, not equal men:women ratio, not ever near equal.

So where have all these blokes gone? Is emigration to blame? Since men were mainly in the deflated sectors of construction and trades, has emigration dragged them job hunting to the New World? Are men being wiped out by an addiction to extreme sports and recreational drugs? Is this a reflection of the gender unequal suicide rate? Or is it the old cliché that its just the good men are hard to find, but there is plenty of losers still about?

Loads of my female friends seem to be single (im not, so we can avoid AH style sniggering ) and I struggle to think of any guys I would know that are A) in the country and could even be half acceptable to a woman of civilised background


So, can anyone shed light on this demographic anomaly?

I post this in TLL, as obviously women are more likely to notice this than guys, and AH would tear this topic to pieces.

Jesus Wept

Waestrel wrote: »

First of all, this is in no way a complaint, just an observation

Based on my own observations, and the opinions of some of my female friends there seems to be a "shortage" of men around Dublin in the late 20s to early 30s age bracket. I saw this recently at a Spanish class I took here, 70 % women. A foreign friend of mine made same comment about this to me in reference to several house parties she has attended recently, not equal men:women ratio, not ever near equal.

So where have all these blokes gone? Is emigration to blame? Since men were mainly in the deflated sectors of construction and trades, has emigration dragged them job hunting to the New World? Are men being wiped out by an addiction to extreme sports and recreational drugs? Is this a reflection of the gender unequal suicide rate? Or is it the old cliché that its just the good men are hard to find, but there is plenty of losers still about?

Loads of my female friends seem to be single (im not, so we can avoid AH style sniggering ) and I struggle to think of any guys I would know that are A) in the country and could even be half acceptable to a woman of civilised background


So, can anyone shed light on this demographic anomaly?

I post this in TLL, as obviously women are more likely to notice this than guys, and AH would tear this topic to pieces.

Don't take your demographics from a random Spanish class and one person's experience/perception of some house parties.

Of the small number of house parties I have been at, there have always been more males.

Waestrel wrote: »

Or is it the old cliché that its just the good men are hard to find, but there is plenty of losers still about?

Nice attitude.

Are men being wiped out by an addiction to extreme sports and recreational drugs?

#dafuq?

wrote:

I post this in TLL, as obviously women are more likely to notice this than guys, and AH would tear this topic to pieces.

Rightly so.

Princess Peach

Waestrel wrote: »

So, can anyone shed light on this demographic anomaly?

According to the 2011 census population of Dublin (county)

Males-619,902
Females-653,167

Age breakdown
Males in the 25-29 bracket- 60,132
Males in the 30-34 bracket- 62,872

Females in the 25-29 bracket-65,149
Females in the 30-34 bracket-64,301



There you go, there are more women.

Jesus Wept

Facts smachts!

Stench Blossoms

Ah Andy come on now. Admit your defeat.

I've never noticed this myself but I would guess it would be down to the recession.

I always hear of job opportunities for guys in Australia and the likes, don't hear much about opportunities for women so maybe that could be a reason? Just a guess though.

MagicMarker

Waestrel wrote: »

First of all, this is in no way a complaint, just an observation

Based on my own observations, and the opinions of some of my female friends there seems to be a "shortage" of men around Dublin in the late 20s to early 30s age bracket. I saw this recently at a Spanish class I took here, 70 % women. A foreign friend of mine made same comment about this to me in reference to several house parties she has attended recently, not equal men:women ratio, not ever near equal.

So where have all these blokes gone? Is emigration to blame? Since men were mainly in the deflated sectors of construction and trades, has emigration dragged them job hunting to the New World? Are men being wiped out by an addiction to extreme sports and recreational drugs? Is this a reflection of the gender unequal suicide rate? Or is it the old cliché that its just the good men are hard to find, but there is plenty of losers still about?

Loads of my female friends seem to be single (im not, so we can avoid AH style sniggering ) and I struggle to think of any guys I would know that are A) in the country and could even be half acceptable to a woman of civilised background


So, can anyone shed light on this demographic anomaly?

I post this in TLL, as obviously women are more likely to notice this than guys, and AH would tear this topic to pieces.

The gender imbalance would be negligible.

Have you considered that there may be other reasons why your friends are still single?

Wibbs

MagicMarker wrote: »

The gender imbalance would be negligible.

I'd agree, but there may be other factors. One might be to do with age/gender relationship diffs in the culture? While so called "cougar"(hate that description) relationships are more common these days, the man being the older one in a couple is more common again.

In the late twenties/early thirties when many seem to decide to "settle down", fewer flings, more longterm thinking, fewer people are on the market anyway. Of those men left many may be considered "unsuitable" for all sorts of reasons. They may be considered players, unstable, whatever, so the pool gets smaller again.

Women tend to get more "fussy" I've found*. Makes sense as they may be looking for a serious longtermer and can't afford to waste 3 or 4 years on a relationship in their thirties the way a man can. Not if she's thinking about starting a family.

Those thirty odd year old men considered more suitable, the "good catch" as a general thing has a wider age range available, if that's what he wants. He can have a successful relationship with a potential pool of ladies between 20 and 40. That pool is smaller for a thirty odd year old woman. Ergo suitable and available 34 year old men are rarer than suitable and available 34 year old women.




*on the male side I've found men tend to become more cynical about love and relationships after a few bad ones. Doesn't even require a few, one can do it. While women can be more vocal about their cynicism about men/relationships they seem to retain the capacity to be surprised by new love. They seem to retain a love reset switch, which seems IME to be rarer in guys. On the topic, I've also noted that these cynical guys are much more likely to select younger women, which would further reduce the pool.

Waestrel

MagicMarker wrote: »

The gender imbalance would be negligible.

Have you considered that there may be other reasons why your friends are still single?

Yes, some of them are losers.

Scarinae

Waestrel wrote: »

Yes, some of them are losers.

Is this supposed to mean they are single, therefore they are losers? Or you just think they’re losers anyway, yet for some reason are still friends with them?

BarackPyjama

Wibbs wrote: »

*on the male side I've found men tend to become more cynical about love and relationships after a few bad ones. Doesn't even require a few, one can do it. While women can be more vocal about their cynicism about men/relationships they seem to retain the capacity to be surprised by new love. They seem to retain a love reset switch, which seems IME to be rarer in guys. On the topic, I've also noted that these cynical guys are much more likely to select younger women, which would further reduce the pool.

I think by the time a lot of guys reach their early to mid 30's, and they've done the whole chasing, risking rejection and being rejected thing, if they're still single they can often take a fairly indifferent attitude towards dating and finding a partner. Call it cynicism if you must but most of the guys I know in that situation are actually fairly happy now that they've "given up" and the pressure's off. They're generally open to meeting someone of course but they won't put any effort in as they've tried it in their 20's and it hasn't worked.

A man wanting to be in a relationship, going "on the hunt" for a partner and the pressures that that brings can be really daunting for a guy when he knows it's up to him to do the approaching, chatting up, being judged and performing like a circus clown to prove his worth.

So to get back on topic - there are plenty of good, eligible single guys out there, they're just often not on the lookout for you - particularly guys in their 30's. Many guys still single in their 30's will have suffered their fair amount of rejection on the dating scene and will have closed off and stopped chatting women up. So, basically, if your single friends want to meet someone - they'll have to do the approaching themselves unfortunately!

Also, single women who say they're "tired of the pub scene" then they're going to have seriously difficulty finding someone in Ireland. Judging by how packed pubs are in Ireland every weekend, nobody is "tired of the pub scene". That's just a euphemism for being terrified to do the chatting up and risking rejection in a social setting. Men in their 20's do it and now, in our 30's, it's women's turn to take the initiative. My current gf chatted me up and I was smitten. See, it's not that hard

BarackPyjama

Waestrel wrote: »

Yes, some of them are losers.

Jeez, that's harsh. What do you mean by losers?

MagicMarker

Waestrel wrote: »

Yes, some of them are losers.

Do you mean the men are losers or your friends are losers?

BarackPyjama

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Also, single women who say they're "tired of the pub scene" then they're going to have seriously difficulty finding someone in Ireland. Judging by how packed pubs are in Ireland every weekend, nobody is "tired of the pub scene". That's just a euphemism for being terrified to do the chatting up and risking rejection in a social setting. Men in their 20's do it and now, in our 30's, it's women's turn to take the initiative. My current gf chatted me up and I was smitten. See, it's not that hard

I don't think any of this is necessarily true
some people do get tired of pubs
some people have zero difficulty meeting people outside of pubs
some people being tired of pubs has absolutely nothing to do with chatting up or rejection

BunShopVoyeur

Define "loser" please.

BarackPyjama

bluewolf wrote: »

I don't think any of this is necessarily true
some people do get tired of pubs
some people have zero difficulty meeting people outside of pubs
some people being tired of pubs has absolutely nothing to do with chatting up or rejection

I'd agree with you. Some people. However, the pub still seems to be the main place that people socialise in Ireland. Irish society largely revolves around the pub scene. Whether that's a good thing or not is for you to decide but it does still seem to be the case.

Podgers

Well with them statistics im leaving the Farmlands and heading East!

Waestrel

BarackPyjama wrote: »

Jeez, that's harsh. What do you mean by losers?

They are good guys, decent, jobs etc, but in my opinion would be still too possessed of childish habits and laddish mentality to really offer anything to a woman of their own age. Women would tend to see them as a liability for embarrassment than a possible partner. They'll come around though in time and grow up I reckon.

riveratom

Waestrel wrote: »

They are good guys, decent, jobs etc, but in my opinion would be still too possessed of childish habits and laddish mentality to really offer anything to a woman of their own age. Women would tend to see them as a liability for embarrassment than a possible partner. They'll come around though in time and grow up I reckon.

You mean by which time they'll have moved on from the aforementioned mid-30s women and landed themselves a nice 26 year old?!

MagicMarker

Waestrel wrote: »

They are good guys, decent, jobs etc, but in my opinion would be still too possessed of childish habits and laddish mentality to really offer anything to a woman of their own age. Women would tend to see them as a liability for embarrassment than a possible partner. They'll come around though in time and grow up I reckon.

So you've decided to label immature guys as losers.

I myself find that quite immature, can I label you a loser?

BarackPyjama

Waestrel wrote: »

They are good guys, decent, jobs etc, but in my opinion would be still too possessed of childish habits and laddish mentality to really offer anything to a woman of their own age. Women would tend to see them as a liability for embarrassment than a possible partner. They'll come around though in time and grow up I reckon.

Ah, right. I thought you meant your female friends were still single because they were losers!

Okay, well there's your problem. Your friends are still single because they think that all the guys they meet are losers and immature. Which I find fairly hard to believe of the vast majority of men in their late 20's and early 30's.

I'd wager your friends aren't single because men their age are losers. They're single because they haven't grown up yet themselves. For a single woman to say that she's single and can't meet a man because "all the men I meet are losers" is, quite frankly, pathetic.

cantdecide

BarackPyjama wrote: »

I'd agree with you. Some people. However, the pub still seems to be the main place that people socialise in Ireland. Irish society largely revolves around the pub scene. Whether that's a good thing or not is for you to decide but it does still seem to be the case.

+1

I couldn't agree more. In Ireland, we're still grappling with the idea of a substantial social scene outside of pubs/ clubs. Especially so for the males, IME. A lot of the ladies will mobilise and go to classes, yoga, dancing, courses etc etc but the guys tend to moan about the lack of women in the pub, IME.

My generation still tend to be flogging the dead horse happily. The ones falling away from the pub scene have been either spat out of it or finally bored by it but either way, singles my age are staring into the abyss, to a large extent. I find myself back in Ireland with time on my hands and as a long term non drinker at 30 (and I'm no loser) I'm having to give my comfort zone a much needed kick up the backside in order to find Ms Right.

BarackPyjama

cantdecide wrote: »

I couldn't agree more. In Ireland, we're still grappling with the idea of a substantial social scene outside of pubs/ clubs. Especially so for the males, IME. A lot of the ladies will mobilise and go to classes, yoga, dancing, courses etc etc but the guys tend to moan about the lack of women in the pub, IME.

I don't think there's a lack of women in pubs necessarily. I think the gripe most guys and girls have is that it's hard to meet someone. The reason being that both sides, despite being in pubs with loads of members of the opposite sex, tend to shrink back into their little cliques and often won't risk rejection by doing any chasing. It's a fear thing. Aside from the fact that we're a very introverted society anyway, the fact is that 1) women generally never want to risk rejection/men are generally expected to do the chatting up and 2) by the time guys reach 30 or so, if still single, I think they often just give up.

It's scary to be single out there, people

cantdecide wrote: »

My generation still tend to be flogging the dead horse happily. The ones falling away from the pub scene have been either spat out of it or finally bored by it but either way, singles my age are staring into the abyss, to a large extent. I find myself back in Ireland with time on my hands and as a long term non drinker at 30 (and I'm no loser) I'm having to give my comfort zone a much needed kick up the backside in order to find Ms Right.

I don't know where you live but certainly in Dublin city centre there are plenty of bars to go to that aren't drunken meat markets of debauchery. There are loads of comfy, relaxed bars where you can have a coffee and a chat while your friends have a drink. The pub scene gets a bad name. Rightly so in many cases. But there are reasonable alternatives.

Augmerson

We are still here, just not going out as much, staying in with cans and playing Tekken on Playstation.

riveratom

BarackPyjama wrote: »

I'd agree with you. Some people. However, the pub still seems to be the main place that people socialise in Ireland. Irish society largely revolves around the pub scene. Whether that's a good thing or not is for you to decide but it does still seem to be the case.

It does mainly, but there is change in the air. Especially in the summer months - tag rugby, running, outdoor pursuits.

The pub will always be the main activity though I think!

kreuzberg09

*on the male side I've found men tend to become more cynical about love and relationships after a few bad ones. Doesn't even require a few, one can do it. While women can be more vocal about their cynicism about men/relationships they seem to retain the capacity to be surprised by new love. They seem to retain a love reset switch, which seems IME to be rarer in guys. On the topic, I've also noted that these cynical guys are much more likely to select younger women, which would further reduce the pool.[/QUOTE]

I think Don Draper sums up guys being cynical quiet nicely

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjg5TuXV09U

BarackPyjama

Hah. Don Draper's a bit too much of an emotionally repressed narcissist for my liking. Even if he is a cool son of a b*tch :cool:

I think the reason guys can become a bit cynical (and I include myself from a few years ago in this) is because men are told that women don't cheat, women aren't shallow, if a girl likes you and you treat her well and give her what she needs in a relationship, etc. then that's all that matters. Everyone lives happily ever after.

On the other hand, we often hear how all men cheat and can't be trusted. I've even heard women say, with a straight face, that 'all men are potential rapists' and that kind of thing. Shocking but it's very much ingrained in our social psyche that women are victims by proxy and men are selfish and abusive.

The truth is that women are just as culpable of treating men badly as the other way around. It has nothing to do with your gender and more to do with who you are as a person, how you were raised (or not as the case may be)

So I think many many men become cynical after the illusion is shattered that if they're a good person, that the women that they end up with is bound to treat them well. When, as is sometimes the case, you can be as good to a woman as you can be and she'll still treat you like crap, cheat on you, use you, etc.

Basically, people are all different and their behavior is rarely defined by their gender.

Anyway, we're way off topic here I think.

Sea Filly

Princess Peach wrote: »

According to the 2011 census population of Dublin (county)

Males-619,902
Females-653,167

Age breakdown
Males in the 25-29 bracket- 60,132
Males in the 30-34 bracket- 62,872

Females in the 25-29 bracket-65,149
Females in the 30-34 bracket-64,301



There you go, there are more women.

Wow, big gulf between the male and female population in the 25-29 bracket! :eek:

Men have been affected more than this recession so I think that large difference could be perhaps explained by immigration.

Sea Filly

Wibbs wrote: »

On the topic, I've also noted that these cynical guys are much more likely to select younger women, which would further reduce the pool.

It's interesting that these men would select younger women, since younger women are more likely to get more attention from other men.

Wibbs

Yea maybe SF. I dunno if I'd have thought much on that in my say early 30's going out with a 25 year old. TBH I'd say if pushed for an answer I'd have been more likely to see similar aged peers as a "threat". Now this isn't approaching a rule by any stretch but I have noticed over the years that there's a subset of the ladies who are more likely to go for older men(and a subset of men who tend to go for younger women)*, who would generally be less interested in a guy their own age kinda thing, so maybe that's why it might not be seen as much of an issue?

I'd say one of the main reasons the cynical type of man goes for the younger woman is 1) he sees her as more malleable in a relationship(in for a shock there ) and/or 2) he sees her as less likely to be as cynical herself which he hopes may rub off on him.



*when I say older/younger I mean that the age gap involved is more likely to be noted externally if you know what I mean? A 2 or 3 year gap wouldn't be.

Tigger99

I'm really interested in this conversation. I would never approach a guy when I'm out as id assume that it would be a huge turnoff to them, and that if they were that interested, they'd approach me. One or two do, but no one that I've wanted to see again. I would have thought that. itd be seen as too eager.

RoscommonTom

well i wish i could move to dublin. Down here all the women have moved away and its just he men left. any women that are left are dog rough too old or too young

Balmed Out

Id guess that you probably notice men whom you consider substandard but would be unaware that men would place a lot of women in the same category.

RoscommonTom

Balmed Out wrote: »

Id guess that you probably notice men whom you consider substandard but would be unaware that men would place a lot of women in the same category.

no its not the men i do be interested at all. its the lack of good loking women thats the problem

MrStuffins

Tigger99 wrote: »

I'm really interested in this conversation. I would never approach a guy when I'm out as id assume that it would be a huge turnoff to them, and that if they were that interested, they'd approach me. One or two do, but no one that I've wanted to see again. I would have thought that. itd be seen as too eager.

Oh, you have much to learn

Wibbs

Leave the "dog rough" comments out of this conversation please.

Liam McPoyle

I live in Dublin and am in my early 30s and male,and I have to say,of the bars or clubs I frequent,there would be more blokes in them most of the time than females.

I think part of is because I tend to frequent "old man pubs" that serve good drink at a reasonable price,dont have the latest pop dross blasting from the speakers and they are actually conducive to conversation,shock horror in an Irish drinking establishment,I know!

Perhaps try mixing up where you go to socialise OP,next night you are heading out go to somewhere like O'Donoghues on Baggott St,The Stags Head in Temple Bar or Whelans,you could be pleasantly surprised!

Wibbs

Whatever about a gender imbalance in Dublin I've certainly noticed one in many rural areas and it goes the other way. As noted women seem to move to study/work more than men and you see this particularly in small town Ireland and have for many a year. The tradition of rural matchmaking looking to bring in people(women mostly) goes back a long way. In my 20's a mate of mine was going out with a woman from small town Clare neck of the woods and we used to traipse out that way on weekends. The local pub/hotel disco had different demographics than the Dubs among us were used to. We certainly noted it. Lots of women in their teens, fewer in the early 20's and by the time you were looking for women in their late 20's they were either in solid local relationships or just not around. There was defo a significant surplus of men of those ages. Even chatting to the women in our age group a good chunk of them were just home for the weekend, but lived elsewhere for college/work.

Sea Filly

Balmed Out wrote: »

Id guess that you probably notice men whom you consider substandard but would be unaware that men would place a lot of women in the same category.

Aye, there is some truth in this. I mean, if the OP can consign available men to the dustbin, of course it can go the other way.

Sea Filly

Necronos wrote: »

I think part of is because I tend to frequent "old man pubs" that serve good drink at a reasonable price,dont have the latest pop dross blasting from the speakers and they are actually conducive to conversation,shock horror in an Irish drinking establishment,I know!

I love these kind of pubs, as I go to the pub to have a good ol' natter, and yes, as the night wears on, talk loads of shíte. Then I'll be in the mood for some choons later on. I wish more friends would go to old man pubs with me. I'm allergic to "trendy" establishments. Fook that shít.

+1 to two of the establishments you named, I've never been to the Stag's Head as I avoid Temple Bar.

Sea Filly

Wibbs wrote: »

Lots of women in their teens, fewer in the early 20's and by the time you were looking for women in their late 20's they were either in solid local relationships or just not around.

I'm from a small town (live in Cork now), and this is definitely true. But as a result of this, you'll actually observe far more age gap relationships, I've noted. Older guys with with late teens, early 20s girls. And then if they don't get married, those girls will often move on, and the guys will cast their eyes to the new crop of late teens/early 20s women! :pac:

Catari Jaguar

Rock bars & rock concerts. Sausage fest.

riveratom

It's a real shame that Irish women don't try to chat men up or approach us more!

For me, as an guy in his early 30s, I would have to agree that I'd be more up for meeting someone in the mid-late 20s range than someone my age or older. That's just a preference though, depends on who comes along!

Galwayguy35

BarackPyjama wrote: »

I think by the time a lot of guys reach their early to mid 30's, and they've done the whole chasing, risking rejection and being rejected thing, if they're still single they can often take a fairly indifferent attitude towards dating and finding a partner. Call it cynicism if you must but most of the guys I know in that situation are actually fairly happy now that they've "given up" and the pressure's off. They're generally open to meeting someone of course but they won't put any effort in as they've tried it in their 20's and it hasn't worked.

Good post, I myself would fall into that group of men.

Sea Filly

Now, some fellas don't help themselves, mind. My BF's best mate was chatting to a very decent girl all night in the pub, at the end she started playing around with his phone, and yet HE STILL DIDN'T GET HER NUMBER! How does that happen? He's hopeless. And self-admittedly, really really needs to get laid. :pac:

Liam McPoyle

Its a well documented fact that many men,myself included,suffer from selective autism when it comes to reading a females intentions.

:pac:

MrStuffins

riveratom wrote: »

It's a real shame that Irish women don't try to chat men up or approach us more!

See, what happens a lot is.......... a lot of women expect to not have to chat guys up. Guys should come to them right? So they don't approach guys.

When guys approach them they're too good for a lot of them, some of them are "freaks" or "weirdos" for even attempting to talk to them. The ones who DON'T approach them fail to do so because a lot of women can be downright cold and horrible to guys who do nothing more than try to start a conversation with them, putting them off talking to girls in that way.

Then, a lot of girls are very very quick to place men very quickly into the "loser" pile. I really wonder how much they actually get to know about these guys before they start attaching horrible labels to them.

But yeah, you're right, "it's hard to find a man"! And the main reason you can't find prince charming is demographics :rolleyes:

BarackPyjama

Sea Filly wrote: »

Now, some fellas don't help themselves, mind. My BF's best mate was chatting to a very decent girl all night in the pub, at the end she started playing around with his phone, and yet HE STILL DIDN'T GET HER NUMBER! How does that happen? He's hopeless. And self-admittedly, really really needs to get laid. :pac:

I suppose, equally, you could ask why didn't she ask for his number?

Sea Filly

Necronos wrote: »

Its a well documented fact that many men,myself included,suffer from selective autism when it comes to reading a females intentions.

:pac:

Aw, come on. She stuck around all night and had his phone in her hands! My BF says he lacks killer instinct. I'm inclined to agree! :pac:

Sea Filly

BarackPyjama wrote: »

I suppose, equally, you could ask why didn't she ask for his number?

True, one of them should have gone for it, FFS!

Carlos Orange

Sea Filly wrote: »

Aw, come on. She stuck around all night and had his phone in her hands! My BF says he lacks killer instinct. I'm inclined to agree! :pac:

Sounds like she was more interested in him than the reverse.

Sea Filly

psinno wrote: »

Sounds like she was more interested in him than the reverse.

No, he was full of remorse at home and again today. Of course, that could just be the blueballedness talking and he might not have been too into her. :pac: