Funeral thoughts

lazygal

I watched some of the coverage of the funeral of Maeve Binchy on Friday. From what I can gather, despite being a non believer (I don't want to say 'atheist' and put a label on her) she told family of her preferences for her funeral, which was a Catholic affair.

It got me thinking, have others expressed their preferences to family/friends/partners? I told my mum years back that I know funerals are more for the living than the dead but I wouldn't like a Catholic send off, her response was 'But sure where do you have a funeral if you don't have it in a church?' We had a humanist wedding and plan on a humanist naming ceremony, and when the time comes I'd like a humanist funeral service. I know there's no 'official' building for this so its a bit more work in terms of organizing than the handy local church, but is that the reason for a default religious funeral of someone who's 'lost' their faith or opted out of the religion? Not the most pressing of problems but I am curious about what others think.

MrPudding

lazygal wrote: »

I watched some of the coverage of the funeral of Maeve Binchy on Friday. From what I can gather, despite being a non believer (I don't want to say 'atheist' and put a label on her) she told family of her preferences for her funeral, which was a Catholic affair.

It got me thinking, have others expressed their preferences to family/friends/partners? I told my mum years back that I know funerals are more for the living than the dead but I wouldn't like a Catholic send off, her response was 'But sure where do you have a funeral if you don't have it in a church?' We had a humanist wedding and plan on a humanist naming ceremony, and when the time comes I'd like a humanist funeral service. I know there's no 'official' building for this so its a bit more work in terms of organizing than the handy local church, but is that the reason for a default religious funeral of someone who's 'lost' their faith or opted out of the religion? Not the most pressing of problems but I am curious about what others think.

I want a non religious service / party and I would like to be buried, once anything useful has been removed, in one of those newfangled meadow type burial grounds.

MrP

doctoremma

MrPudding wrote: »

I want a non religious service / party and I would like to be buried, once anything useful has been removed, in one of those newfangled meadow type burial grounds.

MrP

Pretty similar. Take what you need and chuck me in the ground. I wanna be a tree, man. Have talked with my husband and he knows my wishes (and me, his). Not sure if my parents would try to intervene - that's his problem, ha!

My music choice is Take It Or Leave It by The Strokes. His is The Man Don't Give A F*ck by Super Furry Animals.

Supermensch

I would like to be cremated after whatever useful organs have been removed. The service or whatever is done is up to the living (those are my very Klingon views on death).

magicbastarder

would you ask a strict catholic, if they're the next of kin, to have a funeral running contrary to their beliefs?
that said, if you converted to judaism, it'd be odd to have a catholic sendoff.

i'm going to ask for my body to be fed into an industrial chipper whose chute is directed at those present. kinda like the scene from fargo.

NotForResale

I'm going to have myself made into a puppet, for scareing children. I'll also start a myth about a curse that will befall them if they discard my body forcing them to carry it for generations.

MagicMarker

Just put me out with the bins.

Ciaran0

I like the whole cremation then ashes thrown to the wind idea. Either that or bury me in under a tree or on a hillside. Somewhere open and natural that isn't morbid and gloomy. I would hate to end up in a jar on the mantelpiece though. But in the end I ain't gonna know so it doesn't matter in the slightest.

Gbear

I'd like to be taxidermied and suspended from the ceiling of the Daíl doing a flying Superman pose.

Liamario

I used to think that I would want to be cremated and scattered, purely just to show how my resentment towards theism.
Now, I realise that I don't really care. I'LL BE DEAD!

Chucken

Liamario wrote: »

I used to think that I would want to be cremated and scattered, purely just to show how my resentment towards theism.
Now, I realise that I don't really care. I'LL BE DEAD!

But someone will have to dispose of you! What will they do?

Liamario

Chucken wrote: »

But someone will have to dispose of you! What will they do?

Well, my long time girlfriend/partner/common law wife would be more than happy to obey any of my wishes on what to do with my corpse.

If people want somewhere to go talk to my rotting corpse in order to comfort them, they may do so.

I think it's about choosing battles sometimes and this is one that I'm happy to lose (as long as they don't try to turn me into a mormon post mortem).

But, if I had to choose- scatter my ashes somewhere beautiful.

pwurple

I visit cemetaries a good bit... It used to be with my family, became a habit, and it's a nice walk now. I really like the local graveyard. The groundskeeper is a lovely optimistic guy, lots of chat about plants. the trees are nice, lots of flowers. And all the old family headstones give a sense of something... Continuity maybe.

I would have been in the cremation camp previously, as the thought of dead bodies frightened me, but now I think burial near my family would be nice. Just so they have a place to walk past sometimes that has my name too.

No thoughts on funeral at all. Hopefully it's a long way off. I have been to a humanist ceremony, not here in Ireland though. It was in the funeral home, rather than a church.

Chucken

Liamario wrote: »

Well, my long time girlfriend/partner/common law wife would be more than happy to obey any of my wishes on what to do with my corpse.

If people want somewhere to go talk to my rotting corpse in order to comfort them, they may do so.

I think it's about choosing battles sometimes and this is one that I'm happy to lose (as long as they don't try to turn me into a mormon post mortem).

But, if I had to choose- scatter my ashes somewhere beautiful.

Thats my wish as well Ive told the family the place. It will involve a plane trip for them
He-who-is-not-my-husband is on a list to be taken by The Royal College of Surgeons..theres a list :eek: to donate your body to science!!

doctoremma

For all the future crematees, do you know how bad it is for the environment? Better to compost yourself.

Liamario

Chucken wrote: »

Thats my wish as well Ive told the family the place. It will involve a plane trip for them
He-who-is-not-my-husband is on a list to be taken by The Royal College of Surgeons..theres a list :eek: to donate your body to science!!

Dear Mr Science,

Please feel free to scavenge my corpse for any useful organs or for testing purposes. When you are complete, please have my remains cremated and mixed with compost. Apply said compost to a newly planted tree's base.

Yours Sincerely,

Liam B.

The Big Red Button

They can take my organs and put them to a good cause, if possible, and do what they want with what remains after that.

Ideally I would like to be buried in a non-religious ground, in an easily bio-degradable coffin made of natural materials ... and then a good piss-up for family and friends.

In reality, it'll probably be a Catholic ritual and burial. I guess it's not like I'll be around to care what's happening, so, whatever gives them comfort etc.

iguana

As long as the doctors get to take every last useful part of me, I don't mind too much. If I have a preference it would be a willow coffin in a forest style graveyard or else a very cool gothic style graveyard like Abney Park cemetery in Stoke Newington. Somewhere that would be an enjoyable place for the people who I leave behind to visit, that they could incorporate a fun dog walk into, or bring a picnic. And I'd really rather not be embalmed as I believe the chemicals used in the process are not good for the environment. My parents hate the whole viewing the body part of funerals, so they'd prefer to avoid that anyway.

Ultimately it's up to my family though. My husband would not want a religious ceremony, nor would my dad or brothers and my mother wouldn't care either way. The only person who would really want a church service would be my grandmother. So I doubt there will be a church service for me. Is it possible to have a memorial service in funeral homes here? If so, I suspect that's what I'll have.

kylith

First of all I want everything of use to others taken. After that I can't decide whether I'd prefer to be cremated and sent into the stratosphere in a balloon, or buried in an orchard cemetery. I quite like the idea of future archaeologists digging me up and putting me in a museum.

MetalDog

Can you state in your will how you'd like to be disposed of after you die? Even if you haven't defected from the RCC because the bastards won't let you anymore.

I don't want any religious bulls hit - the sheer hypocrisy and insincerity of it p!sses me off. I wouldn't want to waste other people's time sitting through that sh1te when they could be in the pub reminiscing or catching up with each other.

I am an organ donor so they can take all the useful bits and then cremate me.
Maybe plant a tree in my memory or something so that people have something to visit.

Freiheit

Hopefuly a secular humanist ceremony in my back yard,I don't want some priest eulogising me like he did other people I knew who he didn't know but pretended he did.

There might not be many priests left by then anyway....

Probably be buried with Mum,if I'm not married,which is unlikely.....with Mum and grandmother.....

Probably a few of my favourite songs played,might leave letters for loved one's maybe and hopefuly there'l be a few quid left behind to help out nieces and nephews or a charity.

Temptamperu

I told my parents i don't want a service and I want to be donated to science.

Real Life

i dont really care what happens to me, whatever keeps my family happy. but i can imagine the funeral taking place in the church and the priest saying something like, he was a man of great faith bla bla bla.

RoboClam

In the immortal words of Frank from "It's always sunny in Philadelphia":

"When Im dead, just throw me in the trash"

pwurple

MetalDog wrote: »

Can you state in your will how you'd like to be disposed of after you die? .

You could, but I don't think it's practical. The will often isn't dug out of a solicitors files and read until a month or so after the death.

LoYL

Cremation and ashes scattered or buried in my garden. I might get a better crop of dahlias.

stinkle

A neighbour had a traditional Irish wake in her house and was brought straight to the crematorium the next day. My dad was quite impressed by this and wants something similar. I also know a secular funeral "celebrant" (might not be appropriate term!) and business is good apparently, with Ireland becoming more multicultural and the catholic church losing its stranglehold. So there are options out there.

Funeral homes could be used for a service, though size might be an issue since Irish people love going to funerals, regardless of where they're held. One thing I'd hate to see happen in a more secular society would be the rather healthy attitude we have to death disappear (imo it's an Irish thing, as opposed to a Catholic thing)

fatmammycat

I am donating my cuerpo, after I donate whatever organ might come in useful.

MetalDog

pwurple wrote: »

You could, but I don't think it's practical. The will often isn't dug out of a solicitors files and read until a month or so after the death.

Right, so is there any way then that I could lay out a "standing order" for funeral arrangements that would have to be followed in the event that I become incapacitated or die in an sudden accident?

McChubbin

I've regularly spoken of my wishes with my family and, far as I can tell, my mother and stepfather seem alright with the score.
Firstly, I would like any workable organs removed and donated to those who need them, save for my brain which will be destroyed to avoid any possibility of zombification.
Next, my body is to be brought to the local crematorium and laid out on the furnance slab whilst Queen's "The Show Must Go On" plays. Then, have my reletives and loved ones say a few short words about me and how I lived my life/ got attacked by pidgeons in Sicilly once/random amusing anecotes/etc before the body slides into the furnance to the tune of "Disco Inferno".
After that, my ashes are to be placed inside a catering-sized drum of chocolate powder which, providing I have willed my family enough money to do so, is to be taken on a round-the-world holiday and scattered across every place visited.

Under NO circumstances is my funeral to involve Catholicism, Christianity, pious hymns or anything overtly religious, under penalty of eternal haunting.

Since I always figured I'd die young, I keep my family well informed of my wishes. I've said it staunchly: unless it involves the flying spagetti monster or Cthulthu, NO RELIGION.

shruikan2553

I want to be buried in armour with my body lying in a viking style boat and wearing a golden pharaohs mask. This will all be placed in a bog. Trolling archaeologists will only work for awhile when they find me but the confusion it would cause at the start would be worth it. Need to work a bit more on the plan though, add some more cultures to it.

Hotblack Desiato

Don't really care provided I can achieve my defection/excommunication from RCC before then.
Although even then I'm not sure the RCC can be trusted to turn me away. If they'll take an avowed atheist of decades (Maeve Binchy) they'll take anyone, really
This is where 'inclusivity' is a bad thing. It's including people who detest the church but are too dead to object...

Barr125

Donating all my organs to those who need them is first on the agenda. Then the rest can go to the College of Surgeons to poke around in whatever's left.

Then the cremation and either be cast out somewhere cool or placed in a custom made, badass urn. My ''funeral'' will be a home affair, where my liquor cabinet will be open season, the service will be mostly non-religious, although any members of my family who are may speak whatever they wish, while the somberish tones of Apocalyptica's covers of Metallica's 'Nothing Else Matters'' and ''For Whom The Bell Tolls'' play in the background. Then a giant piss up where everyone laughs at and about me together (hopefully)

I'm putting the ''fun'' back into ''funeral''!

Sulla Felix

Ideally, I want to be shot into the sun. The whole we are made of stardust thing and returning to the sun has a nice symmetry. Freight rates for orbital shipping are sadly a little extortionate these days. I figure I'll settle on the services of lifegem.com as a fallback plan. They put the family into family heirloom. And if that isn't their motto, it should be!

LostinKildare

I really like this -- "not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly":

whatdoicare

I don't really care what happens to me but I have an idea that once the good bits of me are given away that I be cremated and scattered on the beach somewhere nice - that way my immediate family will have no choice but to take a nice holiday together.

Paid by my good self of course.

Sycopat

I don't know what I want yet. To be honest it's not something I've given great thought. I think I would like for the particles of me to re enter circulation as quickly as possible, with as wide a spread as possible.

So somehow turned into a fine dust and spread over farmland/from a very high place.

That might seem a bit strange to be sharing.

Mr. CooL ICE

All organs taken from me. I'm a pretty healthy person so everything from my liver and kidneys right down to mine eyes could be used by someone less fortunate*. An open casket funeral might be a no-go.

Cremation might even be a waste. If I could be ground down to a protein shake, so be it.


*less fortunate still applies. i'd rather be dead than be missing kidneys, liver and eyes