Best riposte to someone who says 'Do you know who I am?'

Degringola

I've been living in hope for decades that some jumped so-and-so would ask me this question. Alas, it was not to be but hope springs eternal etc. etc.

I've spent many a happy daydream wondering what I would answer. My favourite at the moment is "Oh, you poor man/woman, are you suffering from amnesia?" accompanied by a treacly sympathetic smile and a head tilt.

Now it could be left short and sweet like that or you could then proceed to part 2. This is where you put on your most helpful face where you would ask them if they can remember where they left their wallet/purse as this might contain some card or other that would help them in identifying themselves.

In addition, or alternatively, one could also enlist the help of the surrounding public, as in eg. "Does anybody know this person, unfortunately he cannot remember who he/she is?" and maybe even suggest that an ambulance be called. Or would that be going too far? Overegging the pudding as it were.

All riposte suggestions welcomed as I'm sure most will be better than mine!

Slippin Jimmy

Degringola wrote: »

I've been living in hope for decades that some jumped so-and-so would ask me this question.

Get a life!

ArtSmart

em, 3 years a member and you post this in After Hours??.

Do you like humiliation?

chin_grin

"How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"

hondasam

I don't give a continental fcuk who you are get the fcuk out of my way. It would be something like this OP.

Oranage2

"No!"

kildare.17hmr

I reckon ya would prob have a fist buried in your head by the time you finished the first bit

And rightly so fo bein a tit!

Degringola

????

The 'jumped-up person' is someone famous/semi-famous/self-important who wants special treatment because of who they are.

Why am I being told to get a life, or that I want humiliation?

So boardsies would have no objection to someone talking to them like this?

old hippy

Degringola wrote: »

????

The 'jumped-up person' is someone famous/semi-famous/self-important who wants special treatment because of who they are.

Why am I being told to get a life, or that I want humiliation?

'cos it is what it is, the boards

hondasam

Degringola wrote: »

????

The 'jumped-up person' is someone famous/semi-famous/self-important who wants special treatment because of who they are.

Why am I being told to get a life, or that I want humiliation?

Never mind them OP, man the fcuk up and stop whining, you are embarrassing yourself.

ArtSmart

Degringola wrote: »

????

The 'jumped-up person' is someone famous/semi-famous/self-important who wants special treatment because of who they are.

Why am I being told to get a life, or that I want humiliation?

Sorry Deg. All i can offer is, well, it''s not the sort of thing one generally concerns oneself with.

still, each to their own

so, em, playing along, mine would be 'Yes. Yes I do. you Dick'. or 'Do I look like Darren Brown to you?' (funny enough i do look a bit like him, as it happens)

Ellis Dee

A brother of mine works in one of those make-believe jobs for the unemployed in a charity shop. Some time ago, a couple of women from the notorious Limerick criminal families who have been relocated to Laois were behaving unacceptably and he asked them to leave. One of them asked, rather menacingly: "Do you know who we are?". He replied: "Yes I do, and maybe you'd better find out who I am, because there are a lot more of us around here than youse!":):):)

frozenfrozen

I hope for the sake of your dignity you never actually end up in this situation

hondasam

Degringola wrote: »

????

The 'jumped-up person' is someone famous/semi-famous/self-important who wants special treatment because of who they are.

That's you for this thread, don't you get that?

Degringola

hondasam wrote: »

Never mind them OP, man the fcuk up and stop whining, you are embarrassing yourself.

I'm not remotely whining. I genuinely thought there was a misunderstanding and that for some reason posters thought they were the ones being called jumped-up people.

Dartz

Why, have you forgotten?

Slippin Jimmy

Degringola wrote: »

????



Why am I being told to get a life,or that I want humiliation?

Because as you say yourself this has never happened. You dream that it does so you will have your little reply ready. If thats all you have to think about you must have a very boring life. Btw, remarks to comments such as the one your suggesting are always better when you come up with the on the spot.

Degringola

hondasam wrote: »

That's you for this thread, don't you get that?

Well I must be very slow on the uptake!

ArtSmart

Degringola wrote: »

I'm not remotely whining. I genuinely thought there was a misunderstanding and that for some reason posters thought they were the ones being called jumped-up people.

btw, you sure you've being on After Hours before?

I mean, it's after hours. yes, it's the Early Bird version, but still...

I'd probably go with;

Him: "Do you know who I am"

Me: "Oh, I know who you are alright! I know all about you and your antics! :mad:"
(I doubt I'd know who they are, but it'd be a nice way of confusing things unnecessarily).

BBDBB

Yes, you are someone who thinks I give a sh*t who you are

hondasam

Degringola wrote: »

Well I must be very slow on the uptake!

Degringola wrote: »

I'm not remotely whining. I genuinely thought there was a misunderstanding and that for some reason posters thought they were the ones being called jumped-up people.

That was my witty reply to you. I thought that is what you wanted
sorry OP.

old hippy

If a bloke said it to me, I'd give him an shocked look and say "Mom?... Is that you? Oh my gawd, what have you done? :eek:"

Eve_Dublin

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Because as you say yourself this has never happened. You dream that it does so you will have your little reply ready. If thats all you have to think about you must have a very boring life. Btw, remarks to comments such as the one your suggesting are always better when you come up with the on the spot.

Ehhh...when he says he dreams it'll happen, I'm sure he's exaggerating for effect....why do people find it so hard to decipher a very obvious joke from something serious? The OP is clearly joking....it's a light-hearted thread and I for one would add something to it if I was witty enough. I'd probably just say, "No, I don't."

Biggins

'Do you know who I am?'

Had a few people say that to me - my reply was (still is) "I couldn't give a rats ass!" and walk off.
Fcuk 'em!

Gummy Panda

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Get a life!

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Because as you say yourself this has never happened. You dream that it does so you will have your little reply ready. If thats all you have to think about you must have a very boring life. Btw, remarks to comments such as the one your suggesting are always better when you come up with the on the spot.

Ahhhhhh heeee-orrrrrrrr! Leave irr-ouh! Hee-orrrrr! Ah leave irr-ouh

Slippin Jimmy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Ehhh...when he says he dreams it'll happen, I'm sure he's exaggerating for effect....why do people find it so hard to decipher a very obvious joke from something serious? The OP is clearly joking....it's a light-hearted thread and I for one would add something to it if I was witty enough. I'd probably just say, "No, I don't."

Well at least the op will now be able to say to the person who asks them the question, "Hold on, I will get the best reply from a thread i started on boards about this."

ArtSmart

ok, got it.

Do you know who I am??

Yes, your Richard Head.

What? No I'm not.

You sure? You sure you're not Dick Head? You look like Dick Head.

Chuck Stone

I'd reply with

Chuck: Do you know who I am?

Villain: 'Erm.. no..'

Me: Great, that means I can kick you in the balls, run away, and you'll never know who done it.

*thwack*

holystungun9

Based on Freud's theories, you appear to be some sort of cnut.

blindside88

Do you know who I am?

Me: no but if I were to guess I would say you are a gentleman with a very small member and a massive inferiority complex

In reality I'd probably say sorry i don't it's a pleasure to meet you

Eve_Dublin

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Well at least the op will now be able to say to the person who asks them the question, "Hold on, I will get the best reply from a thread i started on boards about this."

He posted it for a laugh. It's never going to happen. He posted to hear some funny answers to get some laughs. Simple.

Are you on da blob or wha?

Slippin Jimmy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

He posted it for a laugh. It's never going to happen. He posted to hear some funny answers to get some laughs. Simple.

Are you on da blob or wha?

Hilarious you uneducated fool

My name is URL

Best riposte to someone who says 'Do you know who I am?'

'Are you Sen. Fidelma Healy Eames?'

Eve_Dublin

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Hilarious you uneducated fool

Ah the personal insults. That can get you banned you know. I'd watch it if I were you.

You need to relax.

hondasam

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Are you on da blob or wha?

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Hilarious you uneducated fool

LOL that is funny and ye did not have to try at all.

Of course it was not meant to be funny.

Slippin Jimmy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Ah the personal insults. That can get you banned you know. I'd watch it if I were you.

You need to relax.

Not an insult if it is a factual statement.

Eve_Dublin

Duffff-Man wrote: »

Not an insult if it is a factual statement.

Do you know who I am?

Eve_Dublin

hondasam wrote: »

LOL that is funny and ye did not have to try at all.

Of course it was not meant to be funny.

It was actually...

Slippin Jimmy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Do you know who I am?

A person that lived in the uk for three years and that wants to travel to South America

kirving

Funniest one I heard was a guy walking up to a friend of mine in a bar.

"Gerrup outta that seat!"
"Ehhhhhhh, NO."
"My uncle's XXXX XXXXX! ....One call, BANG BANG!"

Soon enough, the whole place knew about it and he was laughed out of the bar.

Degringola

My name is URL wrote: »

'Are you Sen. Fidelma Healy Eames?'

That's what prompted the thread


Touche Eve. Snort.

BBDBB

are we changing this thread to

"Do you know how funny I am?"

Eve_Dublin

Duffff-Man wrote: »

A person that lived in the uk for three years and that wants to travel to South America

I feel privileged you're taking the time to stalk me. Many thanks.


(Btw, I have already travelled in South America for one year).

crazy cabbage

This is me. Is that you?

Slippin Jimmy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I feel privileged you're taking the time to stalk me. Many thanks.


(Btw, I have already travelled in South America for one year).

Ah my mistake, apologies.

somefeen

"Do you know who I am?"
"Do you know WHO I AM?"
"This is not a game of who the **** are you"

Oranage2

'Eh, Slim Shady?'

Eve_Dublin

"No I don't...you appear to be wearing some kind of gruesome Halloween mask and I can't tell...if you remove it, it might make it easier"....huh huh huh huh...


Yeah I know...back to the drawing board...

DEFTLEFTHAND

Haven't the foggiest sir now could you please give me another card or cash, you're American Express has been rejected.

Blondini

Biggins wrote: »

Had a few people say that to me - my reply was (still is) "I couldn't give a rats ass!" and walk off.
Fcuk 'em!

... but .... but .... your boards persona is based on a kinda quasi-celebrity mysterious scenario... and we don't know who you are ... and em... er ... sometimes it feels like you are ... er kinda sayin' "Do you know who I am" in a kinda boards internet forum kinda way .. and stuff .. so er .. who are you?