Who does the house work

nadey

hey girls and boys

i was just wondering who here does the house work in your home

do you do it your self or would you share the house work together

me personally i do it all by myself if my boyfriend does it i dont think he's done it right and isn't clean enough for me anyway lol

anyone else the same or is the work 50/50

The Big Red Button

In my parents' house, when I was growing up, my mum always did the majority of the housework, as my father often worked twelve-hour days as a self-employed engineer, while my mother was a primary teacher. Obviously she worked very hard, too, but she was the one who was around the house at the times when cooking/cleaning/childminding/laundry etc needed to be done.

My parents are still both relatively young, but he has taken early retirement due to illness. Therefore, seeing as he's at home now, he now does most of the above - as well as tending to the garden and doing all the taxiing for my younger siblings. My mother still takes care of the evening meal, and bakes homemade bread most days - just because it happens that she's home in time to do so.

Basically I was brought up in an environment where each parent does what they can do. Gender doesn't come into it at all.

I don't currently live with my boyfriend, but that's the attitude I'd take, too.

CathyMoran

I have health issues so my husband does most of it - I married a good one there - he is also a wonderful father to our children.

Morgase

It's split 50:50 most of the time, unless one of us is under pressure with exams or somesuch. We decided at the start who would do what e.g. I don't mind doing laundry so I take care of that, but I hate cleaning the bathroom so he looks after that side of things.

I couldn't imagine us not sharing it, unless one person was working all hours when the other wasn't.

I grew up in a house where myself or my brothers would be told to do the dishes or hoovering, equal status. I lived with a guy who used to do most of the cleaning because he knew how awful I am at it. I was pretty good at cleaning with another ex who was a clean freak, he didn't nag but encouraged me. However my last boyfriend was totally under the impression that things cleaned themselves. I moved out of his place months before we broke up but he did expect me to clean the house when I came to stay for a few days. The odd time he'd make a half assed effort (mostly just watching me clean), I couldn't handle that and it's one of the reasons we broke up recently.

I share a flat with two guys, and none of us do a lot of cleaning, I know one of them barely notices, the other guy likes clean but refuses to fall into the role of head cleaner. If I see him getting too upset about the dirt, I will pull the finger out and give the kitchen or bathroom a scrub, or run the hoover round. I've always been a very, very messy person though.

Ideally cleaning should be equal, I would take control and direct him "don't wipe the floor and counter with the same cloth, stop mopping the floor with a dirty mop" etc. but I also need someone to help motivate me into doing some housework!

The Lovely Muffin

I don't live with my boyfriend but if we are in his house we will wash up and tidy up after ourselves and the same if we are in my house.

If we were living together, it'd be split 50/50, definitely.

The Big Red Button

50/50 isn't always fair, though.

If one person was unemployed and the other wasn't, how on earth could a 50/50 split on housework possibly be fair?

If one person was ill and the other wasn't, a 50/50 split wouldn't be fair either.

In my opinion, it's a very simplistic view of things.

nadey

im just like my dad to be honest my mam would clean even though she was a stay at home mom plus she got really ill

when my dad was at home he would still srub the house spotless even after finishing a 12 hour shift he would pull out the chairs fold and iron all of the clothes then go to every single bedroom and take sure there wasn't one spot of dirt on the floor

i do the same thing he does my boyfriend used to clean up after him self like the dishess and that but he wouldn't iron or swipe and mop the floor or make the bed right

he's given up now and just leaves me to it now other wise i would get really annoyed at him lol

clean freak i know thanks to daddy dearest lol

The Big Red Button

Has your dad ever been diagnosed with OCD or similar, or have you ever looked into it yourself?

If you are living with someone, then in my opinion it should be a partnership, where responsibilities are divided equally according to each persons skills, abilities, capabilities, health, and time available, amongst other possible variables.

It's not as easy as "Who does the house work" - it's not usually a male/female thing, in my opinion, there are so many other potential factors involved here.

nadey

i actually like cleaning though relaxes me and gives me something to do

im not one to just sit around and do nothing

my dad will just clean clean clean even if its not his own house he will go into anyone house and moan about it lol

jam_mac_jam

We are fairly much 50/50, I don't think I could have it any other way. We both work full time so I don't see why it would be otherwise. That said we have similar ideas of cleaness if houses where one person is much tidier I could see that it would be more up to them.

TeletextPear

My bf and I have a pretty good divide going on. I would do the majority of the laundry / cleaning type jobs, for a few reasons. I'm a bit anal about putting things in the right place, and I work from home so it's easier for me to get the chores done during my day. But then my bf deals with other household stuff that I hate, like dealing with the landlord, fixing things, replacing bulbs, making dinner when I'm working, etc. He also does all the hoovering because I absolutely despise doing it. Works for us anyway!

Ellsbells

We have a cleaner who comes in to do the big jobs and then we divide the rest and keep the place ticking over. We have very busy lives so its worth it to us to buy us 'down time'..

nadey

Ellsbells wrote: »

We have a cleaner who comes in to do the big jobs and then we divide the rest and keep the place ticking over. We have very busy lives so its worth it to us to buy us 'down time'..

i couldn't have a cleaner to be honest well actually i dont like anyone that would be in our personal belongings

Ellsbells

nadey wrote: »

i couldn't have a cleaner to be honest well actually i dont like anyone that would be in our personal belongings

I find it great... She would be bored looking through our stuff. Not much to find

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Mat the trasher

FizzleSticks wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I'm sure he'd only love to read that!

Ickle Magoo

Mat the trasher wrote: »

I'm sure he'd only love to read that!

If you have nothing constructive to add to the discussion, kindly refrain from posting.

And please acquaint yourself with the charter and ethos of this forum before posting again.

Cheers.

lazygal

We have a cleaner because I got sick and tired of having to remind (nag:roll eyes:) my husband to do the jobs he promised to do. It's the best money we spend each week. As I'm home on maternity leave I do a lot of the tidying and general day to day cleaning, but otherwise we'd each do a fair share around the home now the heavier cleaning isn't an issue.

Yardleys Lavender

I once asked my boyfriend to put something into the washing machine.

He put in it in the dryer.

'Nuff said.

I think he does it on purpose.

I am totally jealous of the fair trade houses where the cleaning is a joint operation.

cynder

Mostly me,

psycho-hope

I'm living at home so its just me and mum, we have our own little agrement, i keep my room tidy and cook the dinner do all the baking and sort the dog out and she does the hoovering and the ironing, i hate ironing, she hates cooking so it works out grand for us

Stheno

I cook, he does the floors, general cleaning and bins.
Both do the laundry, though we use an ironing service once about every two months, and we are getting a cleaner as we feel it's worth it, we've decided to divert money we would use going out for a cleaner.

IvyTheTerrible

I do most of it (I'm unemployed/on maternity leave so it's only fair) including all the cooking and washing up. The only thing I leave for him is cleaning hte bathroom. I hate doing it, and he does think I do it right, so he is reasonably happy to do it. I don't expect him to do much else.

evilmonkee

chatterpillar wrote: »

Basically I was brought up in an environment where each parent does what they can do. Gender doesn't come into it at all.
.

Completely agree with this statement.

Myself and my partner do what we can. We help each other out. There is never an issue of "I cooked that meal so you have to do the washing up".

Some jobs I dislike, and others he dislikes. Some things I love and others he doesnt. We don't need to ask the other to do the things we dislike, we just automatically try to accodomdate the other person as much as possible.

puffishoes

evilmonkee wrote: »

Completely agree with this statement.

Myself and my partner do what we can. We help each other out. There is never an issue of "I cooked that meal so you have to do the washing up".

Some jobs I dislike, and others he dislikes. Some things I love and others he doesnt. We don't need to ask the other to do the things we dislike, we just automatically try to accodomdate the other person as much as possible.

Same as us we don't really discuss who's turn it is to do what, we both know what needs to be done and we both get on with it and do it.

I always find it very odd if couples are constantly arguing about cleaning.
it's where you live and you moan about keeping it clean? it's something you're going to have to do almost every day of your life. pretty long argument to be having.

Ayla

Same as.

Our house is never clean (with 2 young kids, 3 *big* dogs & a muddy site that we're trying to rope into a smallholding clean is a dream). But it is generally tidy. Both hubby & I pitch in & do whatever we can, whenever we can. Neither of us is perfect - and the laundry can sit on the chair unfolded for a couple days out of sheer laziness - but we support each other and do what we can. Sometimes I do laundry, sometimes he does (and sometimes no one does ). Same for cooking, and cleaning bathroom, and ...

daenerysstormborn3

In house work I include the cooking too. We can both cook well but my bf prefers to make big dinners like roasts and stews, that sort of thing, so he normally cooks 2-3 times a week and I cook on the other days. As for housework we split it between us but that doesn't necessarily mean it's 50/50. If I'm cooking, he'll take care of the dishwasher and sweep the floor, those small jobs. If he's cooking I'll do the same.

When it comes to washing the floors or cleaning the bathroom, we take that in turns.

The only thing that is separate is our washing, we both look after our own clothes.

Malari

pixiebean22 wrote: »

In house work I include the cooking too. We can both cook well but my bf prefers to make big dinners like roasts and stews, that sort of thing, so he normally cooks 2-3 times a week and I cook on the other days. As for housework we split it between us but that doesn't necessarily mean it's 50/50. If I'm cooking, he'll take care of the dishwasher and sweep the floor, those small jobs. If he's cooking I'll do the same.

When it comes to washing the floors or cleaning the bathroom, we take that in turns.

The only thing that is separate is our washing, we both look after our own clothes.

:eek: Interesting! There's a paradigm shift In that case I do a LOT more housework than I thought :pac: I cook pretty much all the time. But I love it, so never think of it as a chore.

Apart from that we just do what we feels needs to be done. I never seem to clean the cooker. He does that. And I don't think he's ever ironed, but I like doing that.

We split the rest fairly evenly. In over 6 years of living together we have never discussed housework or argued over it. It just gets done.

eviltwin

Its split between me, him and my daughter but I do most of it as I'm home the most. I don't mind, I find housework can sometimes be very soothing. There are no jobs that are mine or his, as others have said what needs doing gets done.

puffin24

Hmm, I do most of the cleaning, my boyfriend isnt the (to quote Fr Ted) "lets clean this mother!" type. I do the laundry, almost all of the cooking and once a week we will do a big clean of the flat together (through my "suggesting" it) I dont really mind as he works 12 hours shifts 3 days a week and on his first day off likes to just lounge. I am a student so Im home most days out of the week and would go mad if i had nothing to do! Though what does annoy me is when I ask him to take out the bins, it will take him 3 days to do it. And surprisingly when it come to his day to cook, it happens to be the day he wants to go out for dinner or order in. Brat!

The Big Red Button

puffishoes wrote: »

Same as us we don't really discuss who's turn it is to do what, we both know what needs to be done and we both get on with it and do it.

I always find it very odd if couples are constantly arguing about cleaning.
it's where you live and you moan about keeping it clean? it's something you're going to have to do almost every day of your life. pretty long argument to be having.

Yeah exactly!

The way I see it, if you're living on your own, you're going to have to do all of these jobs on your own anyways. If you're living with someone else, then surely you're both going to want the place where you live to be fairly clean and cosy!

It just seems a bit mad to me, of all the things to argue about! It's only housework, just a normal day-to-day part of life. Of course both people should pull their weight, where possible, but don't imagine that I would ever resent someone or count "points" against them etc for times that I did more cleaning or cooking or whatever than they did!

pinkpigs

Surprisingly it's 50-50 and the best thing about it, there is no nagging.. got myself a goodin'

P.P.

trodsky

My wife is pretty big so I insist she does it. If my dinner sucks I beat her.

Seriously

Wibbs

trodsky gets a ban for being a... OK I'll be polite. Meh I think the reason for the ban and my feelings should be self evident even for passing knuckledraggers.

Gelato

chatterpillar wrote: »

In my parents' house, when I was growing up, my mum always did the majority of the housework, as my father often worked twelve-hour days as a self-employed engineer, while my mother was a primary teacher. Obviously she worked very hard, too, but she was the one who was around the house at the times when cooking/cleaning/childminding/laundry etc needed to be done.

My parents are still both relatively young, but he has taken early retirement due to illness. Therefore, seeing as he's at home now, he now does most of the above - as well as tending to the garden and doing all the taxiing for my younger siblings. My mother still takes care of the evening meal, and bakes homemade bread most days - just because it happens that she's home in time to do so.

Basically I was brought up in an environment where each parent does what they can do. Gender doesn't come into it at all.

I don't currently live with my boyfriend, but that's the attitude I'd take, too.

I was brought up in a fairly similar situation. My dad worked 12 hour shifts and my mam worked 9-5, so generally, she was the one at home when things needed to be done, so she did them!

At the weekends, it was different and dad did more around the house. He also did a lot more of the stuff that maybe mam didn't want to do - DIY, gardening, etc. He always cooked the Sunday roast dinner.

With me and my partner, we work similar hours, so if either of us sees something that needs to be done, we just do it! Obviously we have our favourite jobs, like he does a lot of the cooking, I usually clean the bathroom, he has a "thing" about laundry so usually he does that, I nomally clean the oven etc. etc. but we rarely have discussions about it!

flowerchild

My parents shared equally. So do my husband and I. We had a guest for Sunday lunch My 7 year old cleaned bins in our bedrooms and the bathroom, vacuumed, set the table and did a lot of the food preparation, like peeling carrots. I felt so proud, I was quite emotional. The 5 year old often sets the table for breakfast, which is surprisingly helpful.

Dortilolma

We both like a tidy house, so it's pretty 50/50. If he gets home first he cooks dinner, if I get home first I cook dinner. We both do the washing up and when we do a big clean of the house we do it together.

It works out pretty well.

pwurple

Cleaner does the ironing, vacuuming and mopping.

He does laundry, i do cooking.
Both of us tidy and do dishes.

On DIY, i do painting, he does repairs.

Garden, i do planting, weeding, pruning, he does grass cutting and hedges.

hattoncracker

70/30

.. he'll do one big clean of the kitchen once every few weeks... I do all the laundry, clean the bathroom, mop the floors, and when I'm off work I cook.. When I'm working he cooks for me.

I've only asked him to hang out washing once in the whole time we have been living together, which was before I left for work one morning.. He was only hanging it out when I walked back in the door at half six that evening..

We will get there, tho.. I'm organising a strike....

battleaxe88

I'm a stay at home mother. So it just makes sense for me to do the housework while my OH if is work. When he gets home the housework is split evenly. If I make dinner he'll wash up afterwards and vice versa... I cook the most days, he usually cooks on the weekend.

Works for us. There is never any arguments about housework.

Morag

I do all of it, the kids do some chores it would be nice to have their Dad pitch in but he doesn't. Came home after being away for the weekend to find all the dishes on the countertop dirty, the dishwasher was never loaded all weekend.

I once left a teaspoon on the floor of the sitting room to see if anyone else would pick it up, I gave up after 6 weeks.

Malari

Sharrow wrote: »

I do all of it, the kids do some chores it would be nice to have their Dad pitch in but he doesn't. Came home after being away for the weekend to find all the dishes on the countertop dirty, the dishwasher was never loaded all weekend.

I once left a teaspoon on the floor of the sitting room to see if anyone else would pick it up, I gave up after 6 weeks.

:eek: That would drive me bonkers!

I think we both have the same definitions of "tidy" and "clean". I know some friends who claim to have cleaned their kitchen and to my eyes it's still a mess :pac:

woodchuck

I think it's pretty much 50/50 with my boyfriend atm. Every week I do the dusting and the hoovering and he cleans the kitchen and the bathroom. I tend to do more of the washing up, but that's just because I do a better job of it than him and I end up redoing a lot of it if he does it. I do more cooking too, but that's because during the week I'm usually home before him and if I'm hungry I'm not going to wait for someone else to do it for me!! He does other things that I don't like doing though, like taking out the bins, keeping the patio areas clean and weed-free and doing any DIY that needs doing (I help if I can though).

Other things we do together like the shopping and the laundry.

I find I pick up after him a lot though when it comes to leaving rubbish and empty mugs etc around the place. He'd happily leave things lying around until the 'weekly clean', but I can't stand seeing dirty things around the place. Clutter is one thing, but rubbish and dirty plates is another.

When I wasn't working I did more around the place than him (or certainly nagged him less at any rate :P)

Giselle

Malari wrote: »

I think we both have the same definitions of "tidy" and "clean". I know some friends who claim to have cleaned their kitchen and to my eyes it's still a mess :pac:

I felt like an awful hag a few weeks ago in a friends house, when she told me she'd spent the whole day cleaning.

I looked around and thought to myself "Cleaning what?!"

Different standards altogether.

Malari

Giselle wrote: »

I felt like an awful hag a few weeks ago in a friends house, when she told me she'd spent the whole day cleaning.

I looked around and thought to myself "Cleaning what?!"

Different standards altogether.

Haha! I know, to me it needs to be visibly tidy as well, not a clutterf*ck :pac:

Giselle

Malari wrote: »

Haha! I know, to me it needs to be visibly tidy as well, not a clutterf*ck :pac:

Not just visibly tidy...I was STUCK to the floor!

Once, she told me she was going to change her bedding but didn't bother as it had only been on the bed about six weeks (read three months into that)!

She's a lovely girl really, but I don't stay over at her place .

nbar12

I was brought up in a house where my mum did all the cleaning and cooking. I don't know any better, so I would expect my future wife to clean up after me and have the dinner ready when I'm hungry.

Giselle

nbar12 wrote: »

I was brought up in a house where my mum did all the cleaning and cooking. I don't know any better, so I would expect my future wife to clean up after me and have the dinner ready when I'm hungry.

You'd want to start learning.

woodchuck

nbar12 wrote: »

I was brought up in a house where my mum did all the cleaning and cooking. I don't know any better, so I would expect my future wife to clean up after me and have the dinner ready when I'm hungry.

Good luck with that :rolleyes: It's fair enough if one person is working and the other looks after the house/kids, but if you both have full time jobs why should one person do all the cooking and cleaning themselves!?

borderlinemeath

I do most of the cleaning in the house, all the laundry, hoovering, bed clothes changing, ironing etc. Most of the time I clean out the stove and reset the fire although he tends to fill the coal bucket and stack the logs.

But he does pretty much everything outside, gardening, cleaning external windows, cleans the cars, the garages and sheds. - all of what I consider to be the 'dirty stuff':D and really don't enjoy.