Does The Naked Man Work?

srm23

I've always wanted to try this on a first date....

The Naked Man:

"You're on a first date. You've had a few drinks. You make an excuse to go up to the girl's apartment. Then, once she leaves the room, you strip down naked and wait. When she comes back, she laughs. She's so charmed by your confidence and bravado, she sleeps with you. Boom! It works two out of three times. You just have to pick your spot. The Naked Man is best used as last resort. Kind of a Hail Mary on a first date when you know there's not going to be a second one."

anyone ever done it/think it could work? :pac:

Mance Rayder

Or she calls the police.

The Big Red Button

srm23 wrote: »

I've always wanted to try this on a first date....

I thought you did, last night?

So, tell us about it? Was it all you hoped it would be, and more?

flutterflye

srm23 wrote: »

I've always wanted to try this on a first date....



anyone ever done it/think it could work? :pac:

I think if you end up in her house late after a night out, it's pretty much a given that you're getting the sexy time.
Unless you fcuk up massively and do something stupid like in the op there - in which case, she may give you a pity shag or she may not.

Someone's been watching How I Met Your Mother.

Mr.Crinklewood

You`d look like a dick.

srm23

flutterflye wrote: »

I think if you end up in her house late after a night out, it's pretty much a given that you're getting the sexy time.
Unless you fcuk up massively and do something stupid like in the op there - in which case, she may give you a pity shag or she may not.

No well its more when its not going well, you haven't been invited up.
but you make an excuse for needing to get in the door like to use the toilet or something.
then once she leaves the room...boom!

srm23

chatterpillar wrote: »

I thought you did, last night?

So, tell us about it? Was it all you hoped it would be, and more?

I'd say you would love it

flutterflye

srm23 wrote: »

No well its more when its not going well, you haven't been invited up.
but you make an excuse for needing to get in the door like to use the toilet or something.
then once she leaves the room...boom!

Oh god!
Then obvious answer here is no!!
No chance in hell would that ever work!

srm23

flutterflye wrote: »

Oh god!
Then obvious answer here is no!!
No chance in hell would that ever work!

works two out of three times apparently

Ellis Dee

What will you do if she just points at your willy and breaks into hysterical giggles, saying: "Jaysus, that looks just like a cock, only smaller!":):):):rolleyes::rolleyes:

pickarooney

Deleted User wrote: »

Someone's been watching How I Met Your Mother.

Someone hasn't been watching Seinfeld.

srm23

Ellis Dee wrote: »

What will you do if she just points at your willy and breaks into hysterical giggles, saying: "Jaysus, that looks just like a cock, only smaller!":):):):rolleyes::rolleyes:

thats half the battle, to disarm her with humour. see the first part of the OP "she laughs". Then she is charmed by the confidence shown to do it

keano_afc

Guy I used to work with did it once. She laughed at him and threw him out. Monday morning it was all over the office. He really should have thought it through, considering they worked together.

Scioch

If a smooch and a "shall we take this to the bedroom?" isnt going to work then looking like a pervert certainly isnt.

Only reason it would work is if she was gonna ride ya anyway. Which makes it rather unnecessary. All your doing is running the risk of scaring her, embarrassing yourself or getting the nickname the pervert.

Sar_Bear

A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.

Scioch

Sar_Bear wrote: »

A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.

If the girl isnt a fat mess then your friend is as bent as a dogs hind leg.

Sar_Bear

LordSmeg wrote: »

If the girl isnt a fat mess then your friend is as bent as a dogs hind leg.

He's not, she's just a whole pile of crazy stalker.

Chuck Stone

I'd rather set my balls on fire tbh.

coco_lola

srm23 wrote: »

works two out of three times apparently

You know that How I Met Your Mother isn't real right?

*facepalm*

Sar_Bear

coco_lola wrote: »

You know that How I Met Your Mother isn't real right?

*facepalm*

Pretty sure that was a joke...

Ficheall

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I'd rather set my balls on fire tbh.

I can't see that one working either, tbh.
Would you advocate the "Quick! We need to cut off the fire's oxygen supply - lend me a moist orifice!" follow-up?

srm23

coco_lola wrote: »

You know that How I Met Your Mother isn't real right?

*facepalm*

hmmmm...something tells me the naked man might work on you.

srm23

LordSmeg wrote: »

"shall we take this to the bedroom?"

I find saying that to a girl more sleazy than the naked man.

Bobby1984

srm23 wrote: »

works two out of three times apparently

they've done studies you know ....... it works 60% of the time, every time

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

More likely to get you arrested, I would have thought!

Alter-Ego

Mr.Crinklewood wrote: »

You`d look like a dick.

...And then she looks at yours.

ArtyM

What you failed to mention is that the 1 out of three times it doesnt work will very likely involve pepper spray, arrest warrants, stabby kitchen knives, and inclusion to that elite club - registered sex offenders.

Scioch

srm23 wrote: »

I find saying that to a girl more sleazy than the naked man.

How in the fcuk can you find that more sleazy ? Its a non too pushy way of asking if she wants to get more physical. It states your intentions but gives her control without putting her under pressure. Stripping naked when she leaves the room is a borderline criminal offence. There is nothing about it that isnt sleazy.

Organic Cavity

tried it once, she laughed.

Gummy Panda

Sar_Bear wrote: »

A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.

Did she have a hairy arse?

Mr.Crinklewood

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Did she have a hairy arse?

No.

srm23

LordSmeg wrote: »

How in the fcuk can you find that more sleazy ? Its a non too pushy way of asking if she wants to get more physical. It states your intentions but gives her control without putting her under pressure. Stripping naked when she leaves the room is a borderline criminal offence. There is nothing about it that isnt sleazy.

They are different scenarios, one is a "hail mary" attempt at getting laid on the first date when you know you won't be getting the second date. its funny and charming

You said you're already kissing back in the girls place then stop her and say..."shall we take this to the bed room", which i think is sleazier

Mr Benevolent

In Ireland the Naked Man is a one-way ticket to being arrested. It's just some crap idea plucked from the TV. Would never work in real life unless you knew the other person VERY well.

Scioch

srm23 wrote: »

They are different scenarios, one is a "hail mary" attempt at getting laid on the first date when you know you won't be getting the second date. its funny and charming

You said you're already kissing back in the girls place then stop her and say..."shall we take this to the bed room", which i think is sleazier

I dont understand your logic here. A desperate attempt to ride a girl on a first date is charming ? But trying to step up an already intimate encounter is sleazy ?

If your kissing and cuddling back at her place then she's obviously into you and wants to be physical, giving her the option to take it further is the natural progression.

If you need a "hail mary" attempt to bed her because its clear there wont be a second date then all your doing is trying desperately to ride her by exposing yourself. Which is sleazy and quite pathetic to be honest.

srm23

Scioch wrote: »

I dont understand your logic here. A desperate attempt to ride a girl on a first date is charming ? But trying to step up an already intimate encounter is sleazy ?

If your kissing and cuddling back at her place then she's obviously into you and wants to be physical, giving her the option to take it further is the natural progression.

If you need a "hail mary" attempt to bed her because its clear there wont be a second date then all your doing is trying desperately to ride her by exposing yourself. Which is sleazy and quite pathetic to be honest.

works two out of three times. :cool:

Mr Benevolent

The police get called. Only ever worked in a movie.

discus

It's worked 9 out of 10 times for me.

The King of Moo

srm23 wrote: »

works two out of three times apparently

... according to a fictional character. That doesn't make it true.

For example: accelerating to 88mph in a DeLorean outfitted with a nuclear reactor probably won't allow you to travel through time.

Scioch wrote: »

If the girl isnt a fat mess then your friend is as bent as a dogs hind leg.

Or he's just not desperate.

homemadecider

I thought this thread was going to be about that man who hikes around Britain in the nip, the Naked Rambler I think they call him, and whether he has a job. Now that's what I'm thinking about - does he have a naked job? Answering naked telephones somewhere with his naked hands?

novarock

... with sexy results

Grudaire

The King of Moo wrote: »

For example: accelerating to 88mph in a DeLorean outfitted with a nuclear reactor probably won't allow you to travel through time.

I tried it once, and I ended up in the future :eek:

http://xkcd.com/209/

:cool:

optimistic_

srm23 wrote: »

Scioch wrote: »

I dont understand your logic here. A desperate attempt to ride a girl on a first date is charming ? But trying to step up an already intimate encounter is sleazy ?

If your kissing and cuddling back at her place then she's obviously into you and wants to be physical, giving her the option to take it further is the natural progression.

If you need a "hail mary" attempt to bed her because its clear there wont be a second date then all your doing is trying desperately to ride her by exposing yourself. Which is sleazy and quite pathetic to be honest.

works two out of three times. :cool:

Are you trolling here with this response and the other identical responses? Because you're making me want to punch you.

But please do try it out in real life. At best you'll get a criminal record, at worst some men she knows will kick you senseless.

mathie

discus wrote: »

It's worked 9 out of 10 times for me.

Its worked 239583 out of 290063 times for me.

tempura

Sar_Bear wrote: »

A girl tried it on a friend of mine. He walked into the sitting room and there she was, in the nip and almost bent over the couch. He rolled his eyes and walked straight out. He's told everyone since, and she is mortified.

She sounds like a lovely lady indeed !

discus

mathie wrote: »

Its worked 239583 out of 290063 times for me.

Liar.

PizzamanIRL

I like how the OP knows the answer to his own thread but he just wants to brag about it.

1ZRed

Next time I'm drunk and back at someone's house, I'm defo going to think about trying this for a laugh!

In fairness, if someone invited you back to theirs you know well were the night is generally headed. This could either fuck that up completely, or cut to the chase right there and then!

Jimoslimos

Yeah it worked for me alright.

Though afterwards she told me it was only necessary to remove my trousers for the prostate exam.

discus

Jimoslimos wrote: »

Yeah it worked for me alright.

Though afterwards she told me it was only necessary to remove my trousers for the prostate exam.

Should have done it yourself

srm23

1ZRed wrote: »

Next time I'm drunk and back at someone's house, I'm defo going to think about trying this for a laugh!

In fairness, if someone invited you back to theirs you know well were the night is generally headed. This could either fuck that up completely, or cut to the chase right there and then!

well the challenge is to do it when you're not well in there & could go either way