Hard Sci-Fi novel

Eggy Baby!

Hey guys,

I am writing a science fiction novel which I have titled "The Road to Suns". I have run into a few problems in conceptualizing it, and I'd like a bit of help.

Basically, the book celebrates discovery, adventure and space exploration. It is incidentally not a space opera, but focuses on technology as well as the society and cultures of the various alien races I have come up with. One such alien race is the "Vadrang". I have spent a lot of time formulating Vadrang culture, their appearance, their mindsets and their homeworld. But in the novel itself, only three Vadrang appear, despite the species playing a large role in the book. My novel is an attempt to realistically portray the potential difficulties in communicating and conversing with alien cultures; but there is one alien (A Craul) who can speak the language of the main human protagonists and so acts as a middleman and translator in most occasions.

The difficulty I have come across is how to represent alien culture and society in a realistic and interesting fashion, without sacrificing any of the depth I have longed for in creating them. I originally decided to have the Craul translator explain the alien cultures to the protagonists but I felt this would become boring (who wants to some alien harp on about the Vadrang justice system?). And I can't just simply tell the reader what the alien cultures are, because that would break the atmosphere of exploration and mystery and seem lazy. In other instances, I have come up with creative ways of bypassing this; I have created another alien race who are the antagonists, and the reader learns about their culture, ideology and motivations through cryptic propaganda broadcasts sent from the depths of their space.

But I have dozens of alien races formed, and most are friendly and curious towards the main characters. I want to keep the narrative as close as possible to the viewpoints of the main characters to enhance the sense of coming across new cultures and planets, rather than just blandly saying "The Vadrang are a series of dictatorships, they are composed of fiefdoms constantly warring with one another". Its difficult to reveal these things to the reader in a subtle and convincing way.

Another thing is very difficult; how do I make the reader empathise with alien characters if many of them are incapable of human-like facial expressions? It would be difficult to describe conversation with the many-eyed Vadrang, for example.

So any sci-fi writers out there? Do you guys have any methods for writing convincing sci-fi? Or any advice for my potential novel? Cheers!

indough

could you not write in a device that translates their language into english, rather than using a character for that? that way you could reveal little bits through conversations/arguments between them, if they were from opposing fiefdoms for example. you could also write in a bit of humour if the device didn't translate things perfectly :P

Eggy Baby!

indough wrote: »

could you not write in a device that translates their language into english, rather than using a character for that? that way you could reveal little bits through conversations/arguments between them, if they were from opposing fiefdoms for example. you could also write in a bit of humour if the device didn't translate things perfectly :P

I had an idea of a doughy substance in my book I'd call "Babel Bread" or "Double-B" which when consumed would allow the subject to understand any language as if it were their own for a limited time. But the only people who would have access to it would be the alien antagonists I have mentioned earlier (as they are extremely advanced and their empire is huge so they technically need it) and this is how the main protagonists understand the propaganda broadcasts. And even then the dough would be very limited and rare.

I don't really know about a device such as the one you mentioned. I've never really been keen on "universal translators" as they eliminate swathes of potentially interesting content, such as the group needing the company of a certain character, or two species communicating with each other wordlessly.

For example, in my novel, humanity (which has colonised several worlds) achieves first contact with the Crauls. The Crauls are on the other end of a huge (to human ships) stretch of starless space, called the Parsec Marathon. The Crauls are the only ones with the capability to cross it. They send over some ships to trade titanium for strontium and hydrogen, and these ships never communicate with the human vessels, so their culture, society and empire remains enigmatic. But, the Crauls send over seven "ambassadors" to learn human languages and culture. When several years have passed, they recall all but one of the ambassadors (the character in question who accompanies the human group), then, after a while, the Craul ships cease crossing the Marathon and, as human ships can't cross, there is no communication between the two.

If the Crauls were able to speak human languages, they would simply tell us everything, and the air of mystery would be shattered. We would know all about them, and have no need to send a human team over to find out more about them, which is how the story begins. Therefore the story in the novel as it is would not occur.

So the lack of understanding between species is in fact instrumental to the functioning of the story.

if they were from opposing fiefdoms for example.

Although I like that idea. That there would be a kind of competition between the members of the fiefdoms. But when flying a spaceship they would tolerate each other, because its like they are members of a little "fiefdom" in itself- albeit flying through orbit.

pickarooney

Is it feasible for there to be a college degree in Vadrang civilisation (and its influences on humanity)? Maybe you could send someone on Erasmus to the other planet to find out more? :pac:

Are Crauls Vadrangs or are there two separate races? I'm pretty sure I've read at least a chapter of this book before but it's been a while.

(edit: a year to the day since you posted it, it looks like)
How cool is it that indough suggested a translation device that already existed and was in dough?

Eggy Baby!

Are Crauls Vadrangs or are there two separate races? I'm pretty sure I've read at least a chapter of this book before but it's been a while.

They are two distinct races. The Vadrang are unwilling clients belonging to the Arch Galactic, which is masqueraded as a mutual security/political union which is in fact dominated by the Crauls, so much so it is often just called the Craul Empire. I wrote a book a while back, and posted some segments on these very forums. The Road to Suns has a lot of DNA in common with this book I sort of abandoned a long time ago.

Is it feasible for there to be a college degree in Vadrang civilisation (and its influences on humanity)? Maybe you could send someone on Erasmus to the other planet to find out more?

As humanity were a relatively minor and recent discovery by the Crauls, there is no "college degree" so to speak. The species know so little about one another they wouldn't be able to compile such a course. And, academics are frowned upon in Vadrang society. They regard the path of a warrior/rogue as being the only one a Vadrang should take. They, as a species, are very aggressive and restless- a character describes them as "what happens when violent primitives stumble across interstellar travel". They went on an orgy of conquering star systems for 18 months before they had the foolishness to attack the Crauls, who swiftly defeated and subjugated them. Since then there have been dozens of Vadrang rebellions. All of which were put down in spectacularly violent fashion.

They were originally carnivores who achieved unusual intelligence- this, combined with their predatory aggression and imposing natural build (and infamous eyes) made them very feared and mistrusted. I can't imagine them chilling out on campus studying English!!

How cool is it that indough suggested a translation device that already existed and was in dough?

I know, right?

pickarooney

You seem to have painted yourself into a lot of corners for the sake of maintaining the integrity of the world. I admire your conviction but a little leeway would help you string a more comprehensible plot in there.

Eggy Baby!

pickarooney wrote: »

You seem to have painted yourself into a lot of corners for the sake of maintaining the integrity of the world.

Unfortunately!

I admire your conviction but a little leeway would help you string a more comprehensible plot in there.

I guess so, but the book itself thrives on the element of miscommunication and lack of communication. It would be very difficult to essentially rip the spine out of the book.

Kinski

Most SF seems to keep things fairly simple: Star Trek, for example, often featured "Alien Culture of the Week", in which the aliens in question would have a culture revolving around one key pillar (which would form the basis for the episode's plot, eg, alien race who only have one punishment for crime: death). I think the cultures were only really developed much more than that if they featured regularly, like with Klingons.

It doesn't sound like keeping it simple is what you're aiming for, but yeah, you really don't want too much "infodump"-type stuff where you just tell readers the details. There are probably plenty of SF novels you could read which have done similar things; that might be helpful. China Mieville's Embassytown is a recent (good) novel which depicts diplomatic relations with a thoroughly-alien species.

There's also Samuel R. Delaney's Babel-17, which is considered a classic and is in a similar vein (its protagonist is a translator). Personally, I thought it was a bit of a mess, but it has many fans. Ursula Le Guin has plenty of this kind of thing in her books too. IIRC, her father was an anthropologist, and works like Left Hand of Darkness seem partially inspired by that.

Btw, why do you consider your novel to be Hard SF, because it sounds more like Soft? (Bleedin' hairsplittin' labels though! I think all this stuff should just be called speculative fiction and be done with it!:P)

Eggy Baby!

Btw, why do you consider your novel to be Hard SF, because it sounds more like Soft? (Bleedin' hairsplittin' labels though! I think all this stuff should just be called speculative fiction and be done with it!)

I always understood hard sci-fi to be the more realistic of the two- focusing on the technical, scientific and social realism of space travel, first contact or protracted exchanges with alien cultures. Soft sci-fi I always understood to be like fantasy or adventure set in space. I remember a guy on YouTube saying that there was a "talky and techy" brand of science fiction, exemplified by Star Trek, whereas stuff like Star Wars is more of a space opera. I always intended the Road to Suns to be "talky and techy". I've gone to great lengths in coming up with the planets, species etc. so they are believable and convincing. Really in soft sci-fi the aliens tend to be just things which the main characters shoot! But really I'm aiming for a sense of depth you don't really find in space opera.

Kinski

Eggy Baby! wrote: »

I always understood hard sci-fi to be the more realistic of the two- focusing on the technical, scientific and social realism of space travel, first contact or protracted exchanges with alien cultures. Soft sci-fi I always understood to be like fantasy or adventure set in space. I remember a guy on YouTube saying that there was a "talky and techy" brand of science fiction, exemplified by Star Trek, whereas stuff like Star Wars is more of a space opera. I always intended the Road to Suns to be "talky and techy". I've gone to great lengths in coming up with the planets, species etc. so they are believable and convincing. Really in soft sci-fi the aliens tend to be just things which the main characters shoot! But really I'm aiming for a sense of depth you don't really find in space opera.

I think hard SF is the science/technology-orientated stuff, often produced by authors who are scientists themselves, with an emphasis on more "credible" science. Anything which doesn't focus on that gets labelled "soft" - Star Trek is probably more soft than hard, while Star Wars is arguably not SF at all...

...which is why I don't like these labels! There really doesn't seem to be a hard and fast definition of either, with lots of works blurring the lines between them.

indough

well space opera (star wars) would come under the heading of science fantasy which while on the total opposite end of the spectrum would still be classed as science fiction. something like this

hard sf - soft sf - science fantasy

star trek would probably be a notch above, in soft sci-fi but no higher than that, i'd magine

im actually at a loss to think of one hard sf author/work now, would heinlein be considered one? haldemans forever war handled time dilation pretty well.

EileenG

I don't want to be a wet blanket here, and it's possible I've just missed it, but you need a great story and compelling characters to carry the novel. The stuff about the cultural integrity etc is pretty much background. If it's not background, if it's the point of the novel, you won't have many readers.

You obviously want a convincing and compelling world-build, but all that stuff about linguistic difficulties have to affect your main characters in a significant way, or it's just alien weather and wallpaper.

I've been editing a novel where there is way too much hard science at the expense of plot and character development. I want to poke out my eyeballs.

Eggy Baby!

I don't want to be a wet blanket here, and it's possible I've just missed it, but you need a great story and compelling characters to carry the novel. The stuff about the cultural integrity etc is pretty much background. If it's not background, if it's the point of the novel, you won't have many readers.

The feedback is very much appreciated!

But unfortunately the events which lead up to the story are due to miscommunication so I guess I'll have to keep it in. I've never been a fan of sci-fi where aliens just speak our language. And I've never fancied using "universal translators" either.

I have come up with a possible workaround. When certain aliens are speaking, I could translate them for the reader, but not for the characters. This could give a fuller cultural perspective to the reader. News bulletins read aloud by the alien "translator" character could contribute to the readers perception of the Vadrang, or whoever. I suppose I could have the translator explain some cultural things in a limited way, but only things that are necessary for the characters to know, like for example, how the Craul government operates, which is a primary reason for their expedition (because the human space agencies are suspicious that it is totalitarian and are curious how as to approach it).

I have spent a lot of time developing the story and characters also- the idea is that they are an eclectic but talented bunch who are assembled by their governments to do such a mission. It is an international affair. They have many different skills and roles which determine their importance in various situations.

The story itself, briefly, is an account of humanity's attempt to reestablish contact with the Craul Empire following a sudden break in communication between the two. I'm rather happy with it and there are a few twists which I am satisfied with too.

EileenG

So who is your main character and what decisions does he take that change the course of the story?

Eggy Baby!

The main character is a 31-year old Brazilian astronaut named Sergio Marcio Modesto Victor. He lives in Sao Paulo and until recently took care of his aunt Maria. She died only recently and this left him alone and forlorn. An old friend of his, Colonel De Silva, was in charge of the Brazilian contingent on the mission. De Silva, noting Sergio's pragmatism on a colony named Trajan 3 years ago (in which Sergio sacrificed the lives of three of his own engineers to fix a ruptured gas pipe which could have exploded and wiped out a four-hundred strong colony), recommended him for the expedition. De Silva considers Sergio to be somewhat of his protege- he is "passing the torch" onto him, as De Silva himself is too old for such a mission. Sergio, although he is great friends with De Silva, feels as though he is living in the man's shadow (as De Silva was a great astronaut before him and was involved in a Mars mission) and has ambition to achieve for himself his own unique kind of glory, so that his legacy will be remembered. This, and also due to the fact that he is untethered to any relatives (he was an only child and was raised by his aunt) leads to his decision to accept the request and go on the mission. The story begins here.

The main story is primarily Craul-centric. The Craul translator, who is also a navigator and army pilot, retrieves orders from his superior to bring an "organic package" from the Craul colony of Litany before it is overrun with enemy forces (this war, it is revealed, has been the source of the Craul silence which has lasted two years- they fear humanity may be used by their enemies to attack them on a vulnerable flank. Therefore they simply ignored us when the war began to lessen the possibility that we would be brainwashed by their enemies). In that sense, the human team are involuntary tourists for the most part, but they fight on the side of Craul forces when combat occurs.

I've never really been one for too much free will in novels. I've always been a fan of novels such as War and Peace where the characters are caught up in a whirlwind which is so much bigger than them, the force of which they cannot escape- their actions are meaningless, but the actions of thousands change the course of history.

The novel in its second half moves more towards the tradition of war-based sci-fi. A war between the Arch Galactic (the Craul Empire) and the Great Apotheosis of Genetic Unity, who are a massive imperial juggernaut which is ruled in a dualistic fashion by zealous genofascists. It's doctrine is a mix of science and religion. It and its soldiers act as the central antagonists for a large part of the book. They want to see the proliferation of their races' DNA throughout the entire galaxy, and beyond.

blackben

Very hard!

Kinski

indough wrote: »

im actually at a loss to think of one hard sf author/work now, would heinlein be considered one? haldemans forever war handled time dilation pretty well.

Off the top of my head, Fred Hoyle's The Black Cloud, Gregory Benford's Timescape, Blood Music by Greg Bear, more recently, Evolution by Stephen Baxter...there's tons of them.

pickarooney

Not da Silva?

Eggy Baby!

pickarooney wrote: »

Not da Silva?

Yes, sorry, it is Da Silva.

EileenG

So far, everything you've described is set-up. What actually happens in the story? What does Sergio and your characters do? Even if they are caught up in forces they can't control, they have to do something.

There seems to be a lot of da Silva in your description since it sounds like he is not in the actual story.

Who is the Craul translater? What does he want, and what does he do?

Eggy Baby!

Who is the Craul translater? What does he want, and what does he do?

The Craul translator is named Tanam Nekorvo. He doubles as a navigator and pilot for the army. Essentially he volunteered for the "Envoy program"- a system where the Craul government dispatched envoys from all walks of society to other alien civilisations to learn their languages and culture and act as ambassadors for the Crauls. The program itself became more and more corrupted as time passed, with envoys often acting on orders as spies.

Seven Crauls were sent to Earth as envoys, Tanam being one of them. The Crauls have an astounding proficiency in learning languages, so much so that they had studied English, Mandarin, Russian, Portuguese and French within three years and knew them all fluently (the main language used among the main characters is the Space Flight Common Linguistic, or SFCL, which is a mash-up of several languages and is spoken in space between astronauts/cosmonauts for lack of a common language). Within eight years, all the envoys, aside for Tanam, were recalled by the increasingly insular and paranoid Craul regime. Tanam continued learning about human cultures until two years later, when an Arch Galactic ship abruptly arrived on Earth seeking Tanam's return.

Tanam suggested a team of humans accompany him on his voyage home, as no human ship can cross the starless gap between humans and Crauls (the Parsec Marathon). This is where the story begins.

His motivations remain unclear. I am at a point where I can either develop him as a genuinely benevolent, curious and honest character or as a Craul government mole who is aiding the Craul government in its potential conquest of us. Without Tanam, the crew of humans are hopelessly lost and far away from home- without him, they are unable to communicate their wishes. Therefore they stay close to him. In essence, they do follow him as their only guide and translator, but the team also is autonomous in that it chooses to help him.

So far, everything you've described is set-up. What actually happens in the story? What does Sergio and your characters do? Even if they are caught up in forces they can't control, they have to do something.

Warning! Long plot summary follows!:

The story begins as I have explained earlier. When the team arrives in Craul-dominated space, they arrive at a "Starstalker" (a metal hub which does circuits around a star collecting radiation and energy) called Nimble. It is here that Tanam receives his orders from his General to retrieve the "organic package" from Litany. It is revealed that Craul has been silent and insular due to a massive war with the belligerent Great Apotheosis of Genetic Unity, and it is implied the GAGU is winning the war.Upon their arrival at Litany, a sodium colony, the GAGU arrives, attempting to use threat of force rather than force to seize the strategic colony. An insurrection begins on Litany, stoked by GAGU agents and sympathisers. The team and Tanam seek the informant who will tell them where the "organic package" is, helping citizens of Litany along the way, on occasion much to the dismay of Tanam (as Crauls are very regimented and do not allow humanitarian reasons to cloud their mission, whereas humans often do).

The "organic package" is an individual who appears to be a genetic combination of the two master races dominating the Great Apotheosis- the Kardak and the Lemzak, who were previously thought unjoinable. The Kardak and the Lemzak zealously pursue unity of their species, but have seemingly failed every time, therefore they remain as two. This individual is essentially a one in a billion shot. Such an individual would be very precious to the GAGU and the Crauls could use it as a bargaining chip to end the war and ensure their empire's survival.

A fierce schism develops in the group, with some idealists rejecting the idea of returning the individual to the Crauls (who would certainly mistreat it and use it for their own gain) but some pragmatists siding with Tanam, realising that they must support the Craul on the matter- he is their guide after all, and due to the even bigger realisation that if the GAGU is not stopped, then Earth and humanity may in fact be in danger.

Some of the group decide they don't want to be a part of it, and escape from Litany in the night, aided by Tanam who realises they need help to get out of Craulspace. The remaining team continue on with the mission- they must return the individual to Mire, the Craul homeplanet. They escape by using a cosmic dust cloud as cover from the GAGU fleet besieging Litany. Litany itself falls and it taken by the GAGU.

They arrive at Mire and stay for the night in Thunderwharf, the Craul capital. The next day, Tanam shows them around the city. The individual, whom Tanam has named Kobel, the Craul for "Alien", follows them. The team still doubt sending him to the Craul army will have any effect on the war.

The next day, the space above Mire is filled with GAGU ships. They have contacted the Vadrang leadership and made this contact obvious to the Crauls. The Crauls then divert their fleet to the Vadrang homeworld Artaca, thinking the Vadrang will attempt some sort of defection to the GAGU. The GAGU, however, launch a siege of Mire. The rest of their empire is completely unaware of this as the GAGU has severed all communications and destroyed any internal or external ship traffic. they begin bombing the planet and sending ground forces to defeat the Craul skeleton crew garrisoned on Mire.

In the chaos, the remaining team are separated. Kobel, Sergio and Tanam are stuck in Thunderwharf whereas the other half manage to escape on a convoy out of the city into the countryside. When the other half are nearly killed by Craul soldiers who think they are GAGU agents, the other half decide to dress up as Crauls soldiers. This backfires and they are caught up in a marching army of troops, heading towards a huge battleground East of Thunderwharf. When they arrive they are forced to defend a hill from GAGU soldiers during a huge battle involving hundreds of thousands of troops. Here they witness GAGU terror tactics and child conscripts everywhere.

Meanwhile, Tanam leads the others back to their hotel through the heavy street fighting as GAGU airborne attempt to seize Thunderwharf. He left a beacon in the room which is connected to a beacon that the other team that left had. They retrieve it and activate the beacon. The pilot of the ship the other team are travelling home on recognises the beacon's flash and noise and diverts to Artaca to warn the Craul fleet.

Six hours later, with both halves of the team on Mire attempting to assist the Crauls against waves and waves of GAGU troops, the Craul fleet arrives in force, accompanied by the rest of the team. The fleet routs the GAGU escorts and disables their main command ship. The GAGU fleet then surrenders and their ground forces withdraw to defensive positions.

Tanam and all the others are retrieved by the Craul army. They reunite with the other team. Some members have died in the battle on Mire. Kobel is taken from them and given as an olive branch to the GAGU battle commander. In his surprise, he accepts the offering and prepares to bring Kobel back to the GAGU, presumably to be treated as a living god or king. The GAGU forces withdraw and the Crauls, as well as the humans, breath a sigh of relief. There is also a massive amount of damage despite the abrupt withdrawal of GAGU. The entire team decides to stay and help Tanam and the others rebuild, and Tanam mentions that the Craul army may have other tasks for them...

Obviously I set it up as a story arc

Sorry for the massive synopsis, but I wanted to create one which answered a lot of your questions. So what do you think of the story? There are a few things that need to be ironed out, of course, as it is a first draft.

There seems to be a lot of da Silva in your description since it sounds like he is not in the actual story.

Da Silva appears briefly in the book as a hologram. He acts as a role model for Sergio Victor and its clear throughout that Sergio admires him greatly as an explorer. Da Silva never really appears in the novel though.

EileenG

I think this is clearly Tanem's story. Are you aware that in that long synopsis, you only mentioned Sergio once? And that wasn't even an individual action, it was a mention as part of a group action.

He's not even the secondary character, that's Kobel.

That being so, you need to clarify Tanem's role to your own satisfaction. You can't have a main character whose character and role you don't know. Why did Kobel agree to go with the Gagu like that?

I'm not very happy with the ending. There are far too many unresolved issues for my taste. I'm assuming that you are planning more books, but if this one doesn't stand alone with a convincing and satisfying ending, you won't sell it or any other books.

Eggy Baby!

Why did Kobel agree to go with the Gagu like that?

I forgot to mention he was not happy going at first, but realised he had to to stop the hostilities.

There are far too many unresolved issues for my taste.

What unresolved issues?

I think this is clearly Tanem's story. Are you aware that in that long synopsis, you only mentioned Sergio once? And that wasn't even an individual action, it was a mention as part of a group action.

The viewpoint in the story is from Sergio. He represents the unaware reader discovering all of the mysteries beyond the Parsec Marathon. Tanam acts as de facto leader of the group, but he confides in Sergio and so we are given insight into his motivations. There is conflict between Tanam and a Chinese character, Chang Zhu, who initially was the de facto leader and who displays authoritarian character traits.

He's not even the secondary character, that's Kobel.

Kobel plays no role for most of the book. He is essentially treated as an object to be transported, because that is what he is to the Craul government. We are treated to a glimpse of his individualism and humanity (although he is not human) in his choice at the end- to go to the GAGU and end the war.

I think this is clearly Tanem's story. Are you aware that in that long synopsis, you only mentioned Sergio once? And that wasn't even an individual action, it was a mention as part of a group action.

I only mentioned Sergio once because I bundled him into "the team". Whenever I mentioned "the team", I also mentioned Sergio. There are moments in the story where Tanam is not present and Sergio is the main focus. For example, when they arrive at Nimble, Tanam disappears to speak to his superior. At this moment, the group and Sergio are generally free to do what they wish. I agree that Sergio isn't really the main character, but the story is told from his viewpoint. He plays a larger role in the book, something which is not made clear in my synopsis, which is kind of rushed. For example, he plays a role in the inter-group schism over the ethics of returning Kobel to the Crauls, as a sort of mediator whom everyone is trying to convert to their opinion.

He also plays a part in the beginning, as the story begins with him and from his perspective and remains so for the entire book. And aliens are viewed from his perspective, not Tanam's, so they seem foreign and exotic to him and are made so in language.

I'm assuming that you are planning more books, but if this one doesn't stand alone with a convincing and satisfying ending, you won't sell it or any other books.

I have already come up with a part 2. I am still wondering whether to include it in the Road to Suns as the second part of the book or to write it as the sole purpose of a sequel. I might actually bundle it in with the book, come to think of it.

EileenG

Sergio might be the viewpoint character, but it's clear he's not the main character, that is Tanem. Bearing this in mind, I feel you need to develop Tanem's character and role and worry less about Sergio and his motivation and mentor.

In effect, he's a glorified camcorder. Even if there are times when he is present and Tanem is not, I'm betting that he soon hears that Tanem did when he was absent. His purpose on the story is to show the reader what Tanem is doing.

It would probably be a greater challenge to write, but would be a stronger story if you start with Tanem, and only use Sergio etc to provide a contrast to what Tanem knows as normal and proper behaviour and thinking. Put the reader directly into the mind of your alien.

Eggy Baby!

It would probably be a greater challenge to write, but would be a stronger story if you start with Tanem, and only use Sergio etc to provide a contrast to what Tanem knows as normal and proper behaviour and thinking. Put the reader directly into the mind of your alien.

I could dabble in the use of two parallel stories also- sometimes the viewpoint is on Tanam and the other time its on Sergio, IIRC, although its not a sci-fi, a Song of Ice and Fire did multiple stories and viewpoint characters very well, and it wasn't complicated when two or more of those characters met one another or talked. Same with War and Peace. I'm afraid just using Tanam might ostracise the reader- Crauls are very different to humans.

In effect, he's a glorified camcorder. Even if there are times when he is present and Tanem is not, I'm betting that he soon hears that Tanem did when he was absent.

And this gives me another idea. Perhaps sometimes Tanam lies about what he is informed on occasion, as he feels that Sergio "can't handle the truth". Other times they would confide in each other. I've always been a fan of well developed supporting characters, and I'll decide to keep Sergio's story in so that he'll have something to talk with Tanam about that is personal.

Also, what were the "unresolved issues" with the story you mentioned?

EileenG

Mostly the sense that there were too many loose threads being left dangling for the next book. I'd rather see the threads being tucked in neatly, so that the reader feels the book has had an inevitable, satisfactory ending.

I didn't like the unanswered queston of Kobel's decision and fate, and the hints of jobs to come.

You can always pull a few of those threads loose for the next one.

Eggy Baby!

Mostly the sense that there were too many loose threads being left dangling for the next book. I'd rather see the threads being tucked in neatly, so that the reader feels the book has had an inevitable, satisfactory ending.

Well like I said earlier, I may tuck in a part 2 to the book also- I've already come up with the premise. So technically the ending you see here could be the middle of the first book.

I didn't like the unanswered queston of Kobel's decision and fate, and the hints of jobs to come.

Agreed. I think I'll change it so that it just ends at them agreeing to help repair Thunderwharf. Or perhaps an open-ended ending could fit in well with part 2 of the first book?

I didn't make it clear in the synopsis but the Great Apotheosis worships individuals like this- they only come along once every few millenia or so. The last individual was immediately granted title of GAGU supreme leader, several thousand years ago. In part 2 I already have given Kobel a fate- it was always intended to be a story arc, but I'd prefer part 2 to be an extension of the first book because it ties up a lot of loose ends.

Eggy Baby!

So how is it looking? Title okay?

Eggy Baby!

bump

Agent Weebley

Eggy Baby! wrote: »

My novel is an attempt to realistically portray the potential difficulties in communicating and conversing with alien cultures; but there is one alien (A Craul) who can speak the language of the main human protagonists and so acts as a middleman and translator in most occasions.

Hi Eggy Baby!,

On my 7 days off, I decided to visit your world, as it seemed to be a most interesting place. I stopped in on A Craul, who seemed to be, logically, the best person to speak to about where to go to have some fun there. The weirdest thing happened though . . . his back was to me as I entered his domain. He had a set of earbuds in. He was rocking to some music, I assume? What immediately came to mind was a Diana Krall song (So Nice,) but all of a sudden, he turned around and stared at me. Not a look of surprise, shock, or anger, but a pleasant look that he held for quite a while. You could say he had smiling eyes. An ASCII data stream flashed across my mind during that time: No, not XQdjgyzJufY it is sOI8ae3Lub8

It seemed endless: me staring at him . . . him staring at me. I realized my eyes were smiling back at him. I tried to explain to him that I wanted to find out more about his universe, but I found I couldn't move my lips. Strange, but he seemed to answer me, even though his lips didn't move either: "just talk to the Vadrang, Eggy Baby! Find out about the people and you will see their technology through their eyes. Focus on the people, not the technology."

Wow. I thought I had gone there, but it seemed I was just a mental projection of you, Eggy Baby!

I would suggest you go there again. Find a nice starting point, and just meet them and speak to them. Their story will unfold naturally as time proguesses.

Oh, that alien, by the way . . . I thought his name was A Craul, but funnily enough, he was called "One!"

dogmax

First of all Eggy Baby congratulation on your determination you know where you're going with this story, sometime when I'm having a problem with something I'm writing I leave it alone for a while and then come back to it as the reader, not the writer, take a break it will come good in the end.