sheer embarrassment of it all...

allez

had a great day out today, did 87km in 3 and a half hours (http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/99486277) and thought i was deadly. sadly the last mini climb was nearly all too much as i was burned out. at some point i looked up from my cat eye reading 10km/h to see a hill jogger making ground on me scarily. i just about made to the top and recovered on the downhill and made it home safe in the knowledge no other cyclists saw me. think its time to hand the king of the mountains jersey up. now wheres that giro jersey i got

anyone else got any stories that make us all a little more human?

Cookie_Monster

cycling up to sally gap and back from enniskerry. Got to the crossroad and noted a garda car and two lads sitting around, obviously a checkpoint. Doffed my cap to them, turned around on the intersection, powered off and exploded my chain 10m down the road
Cue sitting on the edge of the road trying to bodge it back together with my useless chain breaker for the next 30 mins....
Had a bit of a chat with them, they offered to help if they could but not much they could do, had to just sit there like a fool trying to fix it.
Thankfully my embarrassment was spared slightly when they had to speed of to chase some scumbag or other who did a 180 the second he came into view.
Eventually got it together enough to use the lower ring and small rings on the back and made it back home. (I even left my phone in the car so would have been really fooked)

fat bloke

First time in cleats. Drumcondra road. Red light. Next to a busload of people.

Upside down beetle impression.

hardCopy

Had one a couple of years ago up at Howth. Came through the lights at Sutton with a guy and followed him up as far as the primary school. Didn't really realize how fast he was going but stayed on his wheel, at the graveyard I decided to be honorable and take the front.

Completely blew up by the time I got to the golf course (about 200 meets further) and had to turn around in disgrace.

riparooo

Sauntering along the coast rode at sutton in a fairly heavy headwind and next thing this young lad effortlessly glides past me on a fixed gear bike. I leave him go but pride gets the better off me......

I'm on the road and he is on the cycle path and we are pretending not to race. I look down at my speedometer and I notice that although I'm doing 37kph and tucked in - I couldn't shake the fixie off. I put the foot down further am now 40kph+ and getting away.

500 metres later and I'm hyperventilating, a sly glance behind me and super boy is catching.

I cycle another 100 metres at full tilt and before taking the next turn into a housing estate.

I recover for five mins before coming back out of the estate and cycling home!

mikemac1

Got cleats and completed a good spin
Drumcondra, out through Sutton, Malahide, back again and two laps of Howth

Handled my cleats fine

Arrived back to Drumcondra and fell on the road outside my front door :rolleyes:

Taximan got out and picked me up off the road

Squidgy Black

Having to walk in the lashing rain with a fixed gear bike on your shoulder because you forgot to tighten the rear axle nuts after truing the wheel, so the chain came off (luckily I was able to notice it before it totally slipped off or else I mightn't have survived). All past two busy schools.

Then arriving home 3 hours later to see the chain tugs you'd ordered arrived in the post 15 minutes after you left the house. Would've held the wheel in place.

Moflojo

On the commute one morning, cycling between Rathgar and Rathmines. Dublin bus ahead of me indicates to pull in at a bus stop so I move to the right of the bus lane and glance over my right shoulder (looking for eejit cyclists overtaking me on my right). When I turn around the bus has come to an abrupt stop and I'm only about 3 metres away from it!

Screeched to a halt, avoided the back of the bus with my front wheel but I kinda thudded into the back of it with my left hand and shoulder. No real physical damage done but I was pretty embarassed. Looked around smilingly at the cyclists stopped behind me, laughing to myself at my own foolishness, and they're all stood there, about 6 of them, staring blankly at me as if to say "Are you gonna move or what?" Not a single one of them asked if I was ok!

Whatever happened to the cycling fraternity?!

allez

Moflojo wrote: »

On the commute one morning, cycling between Rathgar and Rathmines. Dublin bus ahead of me indicates to pull in at a bus stop so I move to the right of the bus lane and glance over my right shoulder (looking for eejit cyclists overtaking me on my right). When I turn around the bus has come to an abrupt stop and I'm only about 3 metres away from it!

Screeched to a halt, avoided the back of the bus with my front wheel but I kinda thudded into the back of it with my left hand and shoulder. No real physical damage done but I was pretty embarassed. Looked around smilingly at the cyclists stopped behind me, laughing to myself at my own foolishness, and they're all stood there, about 6 of them, staring blankly at me as if to say "Are you gonna move or what?" Not a single one of them asked if I was ok!

Whatever happened to the cycling fraternity?!

This thread shows we are united in our flaws. Haha one thing I always make a habit of doing is when I crash I get up and pretend like nothing has happened. I remember last year doing 55 km down the road to bullock harbour swerving around potholes like a tour pro but finally taking on one too many.

Came right off the bike skidding on my elbow for a solid 5 seconds. Totally de gloved it abd probably needed a skin graft. I remember getting up ad going into auto pilot picking the bike up. People kept going Jesus are you on. And I was don't worry people I'm a cyclist I got this covered with my super brave face. I remember getting to the top Of the hill I came off on and then looking at my elbow wondering where this sudden pain was Coming from, then looked at my hands and ankles and my torn bib. Jesus I felt proper stupid some pain! The moral of the story look brave at all time when your clearly make stupid decisions haha

RobFowl

This is the only answer that needs to be said ......

Cookie_Monster

^^:(:mad:
there's no need for that kinda thing
:pac:

Beasty

Rob's Lance's papa?

It's all coming together now ...;)

colm_gti

fat bloke wrote: »

First time in cleats. Drumcondra road. Red light. Next to a busload of people.

Upside down beetle impression.

I done something similar...same day as the three peaks challenge, went over the shay elliott heading south, intending to turn and head back the opposite direction to Laragh, met a group of about 20 lads doing the sportive coming towards me so thought I'd turn quickly and try not to hold them up, tried to turn on too steep a section in too high a gear, wobbled a little and face planted the tarmac in front of the group :rolleyes:

I recovered by sprinting up the hill past them all in an attempt to redeem myself, don't think I've beaten that time up that climb since!

squeaky crank

I was just back in from a spin - so I peel the wet bib shorts off - there I am standing in the bedroom with only my leg warmers on and the wife walks in, (BTW she doest know what leg warmers are) needless to say she was not enamored with the sight of her man wearing stockings :eek: -
In fairness I snuck a peek in the full length mirror and it wasnt pretty

seamus

riparooo wrote: »

Sauntering along the coast rode at sutton in a fairly heavy headwind and next thing this young lad effortlessly glides past me on a fixed gear bike...

Commuting on the singlespeed I make a bit of a point of not bothering to chase anyone because I top out @ 32km/h at sane cadences, and absolutely top out at 38km/h.
But one day a couple of weeks back I managed to catch the draft from a bus coming onto the Rathgar road, and as I was easing back away from the bus at around 32km/h, this aul lad on an MTB, saddle down, knees up comes riding past me. "Fair dues to ye, but no bloody way", I thought, so I put the hammer down, up to 38km/h, spinning like a loony, forcing myself past slowly him again.

Satisifed that I'd made my point and panting like a dog, I eased off, only to see him come past me again. Freewheeling.

What's that sound? Oh, it's his fncking retrofitted petrol engine. I half considered stopping and reporting his illegal bike to the guards, but that sounded a bit petty just because I looked silly...
Instead I just sat back and hoped nobody else saw that.

furiousox

Dragged the wife and kids up to Dublin yesterday for this..

(It was over by the time we got there....)

http://www.dublindocklands.ie/maritimefestival/index.jsp

Had a nice day nonetheless.

Wishbone Ash

I was heading somewhere up the Wicklow mountains one morning in my lycra when I passed a man about 60ish, flat cap, grey trousers, green cardigan on an old black bike. I thought to myself - he can't be going too far, probably visiting a neighbour up the road.

About an hour later I was walking my bike up a really steep part when I hear "Did ye get a puncture?" as he saunters past me!

Jawgap

Anyone ever see that old guy who cycles up from the Sutton side of Howth on what looks like a fairly ancient mountain bike with gardening tools strapped to it - the man must have legs of steel!

In terms of slow-falls-of-death, I've only one to report - it happened in the Phoenix Park when I was approaching the roundabout at the Castleknock end in heavy traffic and I dithered about which direction to go and fell.

A motorist helpfully wound down their window and asked in all seriousness "did you fall?" - I was sorely tempted to give the Billy Connolly answer "No, I was just trying to break a bar of chocolate in my pocket" - but instead I just mumbled "Yeh, but I'm fine"

I think in the situation described by the OP - and any situation where you are in immediate danger of being embarassed - the best strategy is to feign a mechanical, get off the bike, tug on the chain and curse loudly!:)

smacl

First out for a club spin with ThinkBike, turned the corner at Enniskerry heading up towards Glencree. Got the wrong gear, not only fell over but also managed to take out the lad beside me. Oh the shame!

skipz

When I was about 16 I cycled out to Clogherhead pier from the village on my Giant Blouder Alu shox (loved that bike!).
Was hammering it down the hill onto the harbour when I braked and hit a oily patch on the pier doing about 40km after a good shower of rain and the bike came from underneath me and I hit the deck hard.
When I stopped sliding and was helped by a old man I found that my bike had smashed straight into the side of a trawler and was caught between it and the pier.
Got the bike out with the help of the old man and a group of Spainish exchange students who had the camera's going flat out from start to finish. Would have been sick to lose the Alu shox.

Then I rang the mother to come save me!:D

buffalo

smacl wrote: »

First out for a club spin with ThinkBike, turned the corner at Enniskerry heading up towards Glencree. Got the wrong gear, not only fell over but also managed to take out the lad beside me. Oh the shame!

ha, did the same thing on the same corner, first time in cleats. Stopped to wait for traffic, managed to clip back in, went to turn and realised I was in my highest gear, just about manage to wobble to the side of the road. I spent the next five minutes trying to look cool about it while changing gears.

Harrybelafonte

stetyrrell wrote: »

Having to walk in the lashing rain with a fixed gear bike on your shoulder

Thought that sight was quite common amongst fixed gear riders? :rolleyes:

g0g

Incident 1
Around 8-10 years old used to go out on my BMX to cycle with my Dad while he ran along Cliff Walk (Bray) and along Bray Seafront. Had a speedo on the BMX, huge round yoke with a disc against the wheel spinning. So we're trying to see how fast my Dad can run and I'm pelting it along to keep up and staring at the speedo to measure. Don't see a bench in front of us. Straight into bench and over the handlebars, front wheel completely wedged in between two of the tree metal bars that make up the bench seat!

Incident 2
12-13 years old and cycling to school on my mountain bike. Thick frame on it so the U-lock is actually clipped to the right side of the front fork. I'm cycling past a gang of girls from the girls school on the grass to get around them. I noticed lock is bent slightly outwards and proceed to "cool-ly" kick it back in with my right foot. I completely miss the lock and stick my foot into the spokes wedging my toe in there. Can't remember what happend next except lying on the (wet!) grass with mud on my trousers being laughed at! Don't think my big toe has ever been the same!

route66

allez wrote: »

had a great day out today, did 87km in 3 and a half hours (http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/99486277) and thought i was deadly. sadly the last mini climb was nearly all too much as i was burned out. at some point i looked up from my cat eye reading 10km/h to see a hill jogger making ground on me scarily. i just about made to the top and recovered on the downhill and made it home safe in the knowledge no other cyclists saw me. think its time to hand the king of the mountains jersey up. now wheres that giro jersey i got

anyone else got any stories that make us all a little more human?

A similar story from me. About 2 years ago, I was coming to the end of a 60km cycle and I was also burned out. Heading up Lovers Leap towards Eniskerry (Strava Segment) I saw walkers further up on the road. Even my granniest of granny gears wasn't enough to keep up with (never mind overtake) them.

I don't think anyone else noticed

Harrybelafonte

Knocking down two jaywalkers outside Trinity.Coming too motionless lying on the groud looking across at one of the girls in the middle of the road who just said "Well, I'm never doing that again". Quite a crowd amassed.

Seriously, the brakes on the Bowery Mashup were terrible.

t'bear

Not to tell tales but there was a chap on a boardman and coming through leixlip village with the sopd type pedals, he was hovering trying to judge the lights and just came to a stop and plop, I fairness to him he got up almost a quick and he went down. I was about 6 feet away and about to recommend this thread.....if you are reading this I am sorry

rab!dmonkey

Leaving an exam a while back on a wet day, I tried to wheelie through a puddle so my front wheel wouldn't get wet. Unfortunately I looped out and when I made to step off the back my skate shoes slipped on the damp ground and I landed flat on my arse. Luckily I had left early, so few people were around to witness it.

Taking this thread as evidence, it is apparent that all folks on road bikes are racing everyone all the time and hereby relinquish the right to claim otherwise, giving the rest of us reason to feel smug when we overtake them.

Dexif

Going up a hill on the way into work in the pouring rain this morning. Passed out another cyclist only to slip on a damn Luas track. Don't know which hurts more - the 8inches of road rash on my arm, my bruised knee or my pride.

daragh_

Other half walking in while I'm wearing nothing but baselayer and leg warmers. Check
Forgetting to unclip and falling on my arse in front of hundreds of people. Check
Getting roasted by Hipster on a Fixie. Check*
Snot Rocket landing on unfortunate Club Mate (Don't think they copped it). Check
Rushing out of work in order to meet training group and putting tights on backwards (Thankfully it was dark and nobody noticed). Check
Small child commenting 'Daddy, we can all see your willy'. Check
Puncturing five minutes into first group spin. Check
Having random smirking teenager point out that my Quick Release wasn't closed properly (after fast descent into Enniskerry). Check
Lashing up to Johnny Foxes in the first 20mins of Club Spin and paying for it for the next 4 hours. Check

*In fairness this was the day after the Mick Byrne.

colm_gti

daragh_ wrote: »

Snot Rocket landing on unfortunate Club Mate (Don't think they copped it). Check

daragh_ wrote: »

Lashing up to Johnny Foxes in the first 20mins of Club Spin and paying for it for the next 4 hours. Check

That was a painful spin!

daragh_

Wasn't you Colm. You are never behind me

Squidgy Black

Harrybelafonte wrote: »

Thought that sight was quite common amongst fixed gear riders? :rolleyes:

That's only the ones in skinny jeans, and deep v-necks who can't take the hills

secman

One of the first times using Look clip ins and we stopped at a garage to get refill drinks, I totally over estimated the lenght of my arms and tried to lean on one of the petrol pumps.......... ended up wedged at about 45 degree angle against the pumps, and all of the lads breaking their arses laughing !!!!!!!!!



Secman

2 Wheels Good

Cycling home from college on my dads old racer. In Friday rush hour passing the CUH in Cork just where the road widens (Thankfully!), the bike split in two and I just sunk into the gap between wondering why was the ground now closer to me
(Crossbar cracked at the seatpost and downtube by the headtube)
Had to walk/wobble home wheeling the 2 bits of my bike now held together by the cables!

nomdeboardie

Moved out from the cycle lane to overtake another rider, who turned out to be going faster than I thought, or accelerated. Was so focused on ploughing ahead to complete the pass and avoid looking like an idiot I didn't notice that motor traffic ahead had come to a standstill. Next thing I knew I was heading into the back end of a c:eek:r, slamming on the brakes, foot to the ground, as my would-have-been-overtakee and :cool:thers streamed past on the left. Managed to dissipate most of my momentum before knocking gently into the bumper, without any damage. Sh:oepishly returned to the cycle lane and apol:ogised profusely as I passed the st:eek:rtled driver who enquired earnestly if I was OK.

fat bloke wrote: »

First time in cleats. Drumcondra road. Red light. Next to a busload of people.



Upside down beetle impression.

This is why I'll probably never start using cleats…

g0g wrote: »

... Had a speedo ... huge round yoke with a disc against the wheel spinning ...

Brings back memories Thank God for magnets, electronics and satillites

daragh_ wrote: »

... Snot Rocket landing on unfortunate Club Mate ...

:eek: Another reason not to join a club :P

2 Wheels Good wrote: »

... Had to walk/wobble home wheeling the 2 bits of my bike now held together by the cables! ...

2 wheels good only when held together by something rigid

j@utis

I always cycle solo. That morning my stomach didn't agree with the fried eggs I put into it and I was feeling a little bit gassy... ah feck it, I thought, it's a remote road deep in wicklow mountains and really let this one rip... but a second later and to my horror I noticed that other cyclist had caught up with me and was riding behind me for I didn't know how long... I still hope that noise from the bike and wind somehow covered my 'not very lady like' behavior... since then I'm very cautious about who's behind/around/in front of me.

buffalo

j@utis wrote: »

I always cycle solo. That morning my stomach didn't agree with the fried eggs I put into it and I was feeling a little bit gassy... ah feck it, I thought, it's a remote road deep in wicklow mountains and really let this one rip... but a second later and to my horror I noticed that other cyclist had caught up with me and was riding behind me for I didn't know how long... I still hope that noise from the bike and wind somehow covered my 'not very lady like' behavior... since then I'm very cautious about who's behind/around/in front of me.

heh, this happens to me occasionally* except I'm usually singing tunelessly along to some song in my head.

*occasionally, because obviously nobody ever catches up to me. OBVIOUSLY :pac:

oflahero

I fitted a new pair of bottle cages yesterday that I'd ordered online. I wasn't happy with them at all. The bidons didn't fit properly, they were too close together and it was incredibly tough getting them in and out. I even vented a bit in a bike shop today, pointing at the brand hanging on the rack.





A small brainwave this evening later while pootling up Stocking Lane, and the issue has now been quietly rectified.

kenmc

I cannot believe you just posted that pic. It would've been waaaaaaay easier to quietly switch them around and stay schtum. That's almost as bad as Buffalo and his forward pointing front mudguard last year

awec

It actually took me a minute to figure that picture out.

buffalo

kenmc wrote: »

I cannot believe you just posted that pic. It would've been waaaaaaay easier to quietly switch them around and stay schtum. That's almost as bad as Buffalo and his forward pointing front mudguard last year

Hey now, I was just being considerate to whoever I was getting a tow from - I didn't want them to get all muddy from my front wheel!

Squidgy Black

I still don't get it?

Wishbone Ash

stetyrrell wrote: »

I still don't get it?

upside down!

Cee-Jay-Cee

stetyrrell wrote: »

I still don't get it?

Me either, they look in the same position in both pictures...???

awec

CJC999 wrote: »

Me either, the look in the same position in both pictures...???

The 2nd picture isn't the "fixed" picture if that's what's confusing you.

The bottle cages are upside down in both photos.

Tazium

Going past the girls school as a teenager on my 'racer'. Their end-of-day bell was ringing and I knew they'd be coming out. Cool as a cucumber and thinking I was all that. A couple of girls appeared around the corner of their building and I had to take evasive action to avoid a collision. Still in cool mode, I saw time like the matrix bullet time and decided I've have plenty of time and look **** hot by guiding the bike up a grass bank and then carry on. Alas, the matrix was clearly broken that day because I went up the bank alright, but the maneuver back down was over before I knew it and I face planted right in front of the exit with teenage girls streaming from the building. Of course I did as you do in those situations, jumped up as if I was absolutely fine. Quick glance at the wheels and hopped back on, standing on the pedals for the blast off only to realize too late that the chain had slipped. Que crossbar meeting testicles and the girls now forming a spectators circle. Blood dripping from my nose, arms ripped from the elbow to the armpit and stinging like a mother-father, balls on fire and then some young-wan rather loudly proceeds to advise me that I've also managed to split my trousers. All the years I lived in that area I never took that route again. Even thinking about it now makes my nuts cringe.

Squidgy Black

Ah now I get it, the part at the top in the pictures is supposed to stop the bottles from sliding downwards

buffalo

CJC999 wrote: »

Me either, they look in the same position in both pictures...???

I guess that's three more members for this thread!

Bigus

j@utis wrote: »

I always cycle solo. That morning my stomach didn't agree with the fried eggs I put into it and I was feeling a little bit gassy... ah feck it, I thought, it's a remote road deep in wicklow mountains and really let this one rip... but a second later and to my horror I noticed that other cyclist had caught up with me and was riding behind me for I didn't know how long... I still hope that noise from the bike and wind somehow covered my 'not very lady like' behavior... since then I'm very cautious about who's behind/around/in front of me.

Serves him right for staring at your arse for that long, he probably wonders how you KNEW he was there.

nomdeboardie

awec wrote: »

The 2nd picture isn't the "fixed" picture if that's what's confusing you.

The bottle cages are upside down in both photos.

Confused me too ; maybe I should HTFU and go for longer spins so that I need to fit bottle cages on my own bike...:P

route66

oflahero wrote: »

I fitted a new pair of bottle cages yesterday that I'd ordered online. I wasn't happy with them at all. The bidons didn't fit properly, they were too close together and it was incredibly tough getting them in and out. I even vented a bit in a bike shop today, pointing at the brand hanging on the rack.

<SNIP>

A small brainwave this evening later while pootling up Stocking Lane, and the issue has now been quietly rectified.

Why not just leave them as they were and put the bottles in upside-down?