Thieving flatmate

puddinboxxx

Ok so i live with a girl I work with since january,everythin was fine apart from her bein a slob but I discovered lately that shes robbed some stuff,dont ask me how i know i just do.I set some traps and even with them she denies doin it but I know for a fact shes lying
My predicament is that I like this flat and I dont wanna just move out
So im comin to ah lookin for suggestions both serious and funny as to how to get rid of her and I dont think blastin her with piss will do the trick...

mackg

Traps?

smash

Is she hot?

mikemac1

Tell us more about these traps

I'm intrigued

Jester252

you should rob stuff too

micheal1995

two easy ways embarrising vedio or the easier method shot gun

starbelgrade

Trick her into robbing your jizz.

Win win.

Pushtrak

What kind of stuff was she stealing? And what kind of trap did you set?

Oh, and the obligatory Pics or GTFO.

Canis Lupus

My now ex flatmate was stony broke and was stealing small change from my room when I was out.

At first I thought it was my mistake as I usually have pocketfuls of change but once I knew it was definitely going I had a webcam which had a motioncontrol option so once I deffo caught him in the act the next time I was out I put a pile of change on my pc desk, behind it a sign saying smile for the camera and an arrow pointing at it.

Nothing was ever said but the his face on the video was priceless and my disappearing change problem stopped. I also got a bottle of vodka a few days later left in my room by the vodka fairy.

cloud493

The next time something goes missing, throw a huge fit then pretend to call the garda.

Gee Bag

This calls for some South African style justice

Put a tyre filled with petrol around her neck and set it on fire. If those pesky Gardai come asking questions tell them she was a witch.

downwithpeace

Setup a camera to record her actions.

Peetrik

smash wrote: »

Is she hot?

She sounds hot! (slow nod with a leery smile)

Palytoxin

Set whatever she's taking in jelly, then when she takes it out, it will break the jelly seal, foolproof, and tasty. (Make the jelly with piss, and blast her with the jelly that's left.)

kona

I had to deal with a **** like this before, luckily he ****ed off himself.

feel sorry for ya,I hate slobby pricks.

IM0

you could try saying "next time I see you thieving my stuff Im going to punch you in the face!"

when she does...you punch her in the face, then wait for her to move out to get away from you. you filthy animal :mad:

you may be a filthy animal but you will be a filthy animal without a thieving housemate

puddinboxxx

-she aint that hot
-items stolen have been money and condoms
-traps are knowin exactly how much money was in the jar that money was stolen from and strategically placing stuff in my room to know if she was in there while I was gone

Pushtrak

In before someone recommends damaging the condom - don't do that.

puddinboxxx

Thought of that but no im not that bad

cloud493

Put a lot of money in a place, that removing it will trigger a net that will trap her and get your proof

Canis Lupus

Pushtrak wrote: »

In before someone recommends damaging the condom - don't do that.

If only there was a way to put chilli oil in them.

smash

You should start stealing her dirty knickers and every now and then take a single shoe from her wardrobe. That'll teach her!

Jester252

cloud493 wrote: »

Put a lot of money in a place, that removing it will trigger a net that will trap her and get your proof

A electric net would be better

IM0

puddinboxxx wrote: »

-she aint that hot
-items stolen have been money and condoms
-traps are knowin exactly how much money was in the jar that money was stolen from and strategically placing stuff in my room to know if she was in there while I was gone

thats an important that, so she is kind of then? well in that case you can go about saying I will trade sexual favours in exchange for my silence

puddinboxxx

Im not very technological so the likes of cameras,nets,sharks with laser beams etc is outa the question

du Maurier

Put your puddin' in her box.

Boscoirl

steal her underwear, and sell it on ebay to recoup your loses.


I bid €0.38

downwithpeace

Boscoirl wrote: »

steal her underwear, and sell it on ebay to recoup your loses.


I bid €0.38

Keep in mind she's stealing his condoms.

puddinboxxx

I reckon her nickers smell like shreks armpit

Boscoirl

downwithpeace wrote: »

Keep in mind she's stealing his condoms.

€0.34

smash

puddinboxxx wrote: »

I reckon her nickers smell like shreks armpit

You live with hairyprincess?

mikemac1

Print off some business cards with her mobile and a nice flashy design and leave them around town
She is now the local hooker

Phone boxes are good though those are rare nowadays

IM0

bit much for stealing drop of milk and odd tea bags

its starts out that way. but soon she will probably selling the couch and cooker for a years supply of noodles. its a slippery slope..

Typewriter

Lock your door. If you havent got a key get one. They cost €2.

smash

OP, have you considered cumming on her toothbrush?

filmbuffboy

lock you door op, or if living with a thief is causing so much hassle just get out! or kick her out!

Motorist

smash wrote: »

OP, have you considered cumming on her toothbrush?

Dont do this if you have genital herpes though because if you transmit the virus to her oral cavity, you could be charged with bioterrorism.

puddinboxxx

The bedroom doors dont lock so im gonna buy a new One but that aint gonna get rid of her

Boscoirl

Next time she brings a dude home, sit in the corner of her bedroom and say

"I have come to watch my condoms have sex"

Shryke

You don't need to be nice to her. In fact you could start acting a bit more like a dick. I wouldn't be polite to someone who stole from me. Don't let her be comfortable.
Also jizz on her pillow and then deny all knowledge.

Nothingbetter2d

her flat mate look like this

coonecb1

puddinboxxx wrote: »

everythin was fine apart from her bein a slob

What is it with women being slobs these days? Whatever happened to the fairer sex etc

southcentralts

one box
one label maker

make a "Fingerprinting Kit" to leave strategically placed beside jar of money, unless she is an idiot, she will get the message.

puddinboxxx

There lies the problem,she is an idiot

Jess16

smash wrote: »

OP, have you considered cumming on her toothbrush?

Way too soon for oral sex

Thoie

southcentralts wrote: »

one box
one label maker

make a "Fingerprinting Kit" to leave strategically placed beside jar of money, unless she is an idiot, she will get the message.

And while you have the label maker, make lots of labels with your name on them and stick one on each side of the condom. Or "Mary stole these" or whatever her name is.

admiralofthefleet

if she isnt hot why is she robbing your joy baloons then?

IM0

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

if she isnt hot why is she robbing your joy baloons then?

must remember that one

Boscoirl

admiralofthefleet wrote: »

if she isnt hot why is she robbing your joy baloons then?

Is putting them on a cucumber the female equivalent of a posh ****?

Stinicker

I think I may have run into her, I don't how many of you shop at Tesco, but this may be useful to know. I am sending this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. This happened to me at Tesco in Cork and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 19-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a soapy sponge, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Tesco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other! Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and also yesterday.

Mickey H

smash wrote: »

OP, have you considered cumming on her toothbrush?

No point, she'll never swallow that.

Boscoirl wrote: »

Is putting them on a cucumber the female equivalent of a posh ****?

Yes, yes it is.