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Heh Ahers! D'ye reckon we could write a screenplay?

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  • 12-04-2012 12:58am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭


    From my time on here, I am certain that there is the depth and breadth of knowledge,experience and humour to do it.

    Probably, more importantly, I'm certain that there is enough humanity or exposure to a lack of it to do it.

    I'm not sure that we have the technical skills, and so, I am nominating Pickarooney as project manager. But, as with all things in AH, it is a democracy, so does anyone think that someone else would make a better project manager?


    My plan is that everyone submits a subject for a project that they think would make a good film.

    Decided on by the most thanks as per democracy.

    Then we move on to the next phase. What are the most important things, relevant to this subject.

    And so to pacing etc.

    By the end of the process (after lengthy discussion and pints obviously :pac:) we keep the best scenes,lines, punchlines and denouement.

    I could never spell that word.

    So what do ye think?


    And if Bluewolf tells me to go to bed again, I will inform her that statistically there's a good chance I'm already there. :)


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,041 ✭✭✭cocoshovel


    Dole scrounging foreigners!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,958 ✭✭✭Mr. Rager


    Jaws 3


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,553 ✭✭✭✭Copper_pipe


    titanic


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,455 ✭✭✭Where To


    Tagline;

    One thankswhore's quest to gain the respect of his peers


    Thanked by a fellow user - smiling ear to ear.

    Thanked by a mod - that warm and fuzzy feeling inside

    Thanked by an admin - better than sex



    Work in progress, needs to be beefed out a little bit.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    I suggest a slasher film with the killer wearing a mask with a design of the "o" in the boards logo on it.

    The most handsome and virile posters can play the victims, with a prominent female poster playing the final girl, and a right-wing extremist poster as the killer.

    "Boardsface Killah?"

    "Now Ye're Dying?"


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Which two posters will be the love interest?

    Who is the cutest couple in AH?

    Actually, I don't think I want to know


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,958 ✭✭✭Mr. Rager


    Jesus Christ Superstar: The Musical!

    Starring Atheists and Agnostics


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,395 ✭✭✭✭mikemac1


    Mr. Rager wrote: »
    Starring Atheists and Agnostics

    Can we burn them like the heretics they are?

    I'm in


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,763 ✭✭✭✭Crann na Beatha


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    I'm working on one already, "Kitten Apocalypse."


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 750 ✭✭✭Mr.Biscuits


    Movie about some guy who starts a thread on a popular discussion forum asking them to help him write a screenplay only for it to work and go on to make millions but because Choco is broke, he sues everyone else and ends being hated more than Bono.

    At the Oscars Choco gets up and starts crying and says he's being portrayed poorly in the media and it's all lies but that it was his idea and so it's only he got more cash. This results in the Hollywood elite booing Choco and so he flips out and starts smacking a few A-listers in the front row.

    Can't remember if when I started this post it was going be about the script or about what happens after the movie comes out. I've confused myself - oh I know, I'll do what I did at school when I was tried of writing my essays for homework and just wanted to go to bed:

    "Suddenly Choco woke up and it had all just been a bad dream..".


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭AskMyChocolate


    Domo230 wrote: »
    COMING THIS SUMMER

    DANNY DAVITO IS


    FACEKICKER*





    *Rated R for retarded

    Watch as facekicker battles yore ma and her army of immigrant public sector workers in an epic struggle for the afterhours that will leave you blasted with piss.

    Y'see that's the sort of lateral thinking that's required:

    Coming soon,

    "The Story of Boards 2: Retribution"

    With Bree Olsen as "DeV", Gerard McSorley as "Zaph", Brendan Gleeson (in an academy award nominated role*) as "Gordon", Charlene McKenna, Sinead Cusack, Ciaran Hinds,


    AND, Paris Hilton, in a cameo performance as "Dr.Bollocko"


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

    Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

    But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!


  • Registered Users Posts: 19,473 ✭✭✭✭Super-Rush


    After Hours presents, The Odd Couple.

    Staring Outlawpete and Dudess.

    Now with added popcorn.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    mikemac1 wrote: »
    Which two posters will be the love interest?

    Who is the cutest couple in AH?

    Me and mine! :D the best looking couple anyway :cool:
    I suggest a slasher film with the killer wearing a mask with a design of the "o" in the boards logo on it.

    The most handsome and virile posters can play the victims, with a prominent female poster playing the final girl, and a right-wing extremist poster as the killer.

    "Boardsface Killah?"

    "Now Ye're Dying?"

    I actually quite like that! :)
    A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

    Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

    But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!

    ooh intriguing!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭AskMyChocolate


    A Boardsie takes advice from a thread and "Tries to get out more."

    Hilarity ensues as he attempts to face the real world for the first time. And of course love and drama when he meets a girl.

    But the twist is she is also a Boardsie who is on the same quest!


    That's actually a fcuking great storyline for a rom/com. It makes the one I had for a thriller seem like crap.

    *chucks screenplay in the bin dismissively :mad:*


    \ Googles "plagiarism"


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    And maybe one of them could be the type who always posts the first hilarious reply to a thread on after hours, and the other could be the one who always complains about the lack of intelligence of those posters. And they have had fights on threads without even knowing!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    Domo230 wrote: »
    That would make a really cute indie movie.

    Michael cera has to star as the male boardsie. He's the only actor awkward enough for the role.

    Great, the movie is already terrible and it's only the second page.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,670 ✭✭✭Doc


    This had to be about Trent, The Madman!

    But is there an actor alive who could pull off the role?


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭AskMyChocolate


    Super-Rush wrote: »
    After Hours presents, The Odd Couple.

    Staring Outlawpete Freddie59 and Dudess. Thrown together by circumstance. Driven apart by Ideology.

    Each needing each other.

    Two lost souls in a world that no longer cares.

    Now with added popcorn.

    (Neither one prepared to pay for the other's in real terms)

    FYP


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  • Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    12 Angry Men: A lone poster in a thread on social welfare payments bravely sticks to their guns and uses cold hard logic and facts to disagree with the other 11 posters who all claim immigrants get free cars.

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: A bewildered newbie has their stupid thread moved to The Cuckoo's Nest by a mod; confusion and hilarity ensues.

    The Usual Suspects: A thread about religion or Irish women being b*tches is started in AH; confusion and no hilarity ensues.

    Spirited Away: A poster writes a long, passionate post in response to an outrageous OP, only to find when they click "submit post" that the thread has been deleted.

    The Third Man: A gritty, depressing drama about a poster who always posts a witty reply just after the first person in a thread to do so, and slowly sinks into a spiral of despair over their lack of thanks.

    The Prestige: A poster gets Post of the Day for the first time, lets the fame and glory get to their head.

    The Town: Mystery Thriller in which a group of posters attempt to figure out which town the OP is referring to.

    Network: A poster writes a long, impassioned populist rant about things not being as good as they used to be, which immediately gets lots and lots of thanks. Closer inspection reveals the OP to be a lunatic.

    PM, I Love You: A female poster who hasn't logged on for a while finds her inbox full of creepy PMs from a banned user.


  • Registered Users Posts: 541 ✭✭✭TheBegotten


    The Flatmate

    Based on Duggy747's experience.

    YLYL: Teh Movie- plagarise to represent reposts.

    Also, something about a trolls home life.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭mackg


    A modern take on Schindler's List, a kind hearted forum moderator ninja edits peoples posts correcting spelling mistakes and the like to save them from the grammar Nazis.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,207 ✭✭✭The King of Moo


    You Laugh, You Lose: Graphic Japanese horror in which a sadistic killer kidnaps a group of teenagers and chains them up in a dank basement. Each teenager is shown a variety of funny pictures, and if they laugh even once, they're brutally tortured until they die.

    I'd say you could probably get at least two sequels out of it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭AskMyChocolate


    Great, the movie is already terrible and it's only the second page.

    Joe, JOE, calm down! We're getting ahead of ourselves. There'll be plenty of time to kick the face off each other on casting issues once we get it "green-lighted". :pac:

    Which of course we will. Leave it to Princess Peach. She's the only storyline yet.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,938 ✭✭✭mackg


    You Laugh, You Lose: Graphic Japanese horror in which a sadistic killer kidnaps a group of teenagers and chains them up in a dank basement. Each teenager is shown a variety of funny pictures, and if they laugh even once, they're brutally tortured until they die.

    I'd say you could probably get at least two sequels out of it.

    And just like the real YLYL everyone will complain that the original was far better than the sequels.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭AskMyChocolate


    Bridge on the River Kwai: A despotic AH Mod drives his poorly educated posters to prove to themselves and to the equally despotic Mod of the Irish Economy forum that his posters are no better than his, only to realise the futility of his actions.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,115 ✭✭✭Pdfile


    the full monty starring teery...

    oh wait that already happened. :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭AskMyChocolate


    And maybe one of them could be the type who always posts the first hilarious reply to a thread on after hours, and the other could be the one who always complains about the lack of intelligence of those posters. And they have had fights on threads without even knowing!

    And he/she could be a young widow/widower who has lost their partner in a terribly heroic military action and doesn't go out anymore, due to loneliness and his/her parental duties which is tearing their only child apart.

    For the European cut of the film, the precocious child can get an awful, yet thoroughly deseved hiding, for not minding their own business, before it works out in the end.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,956 ✭✭✭Doc Ruby


    Doc wrote: »
    This had to be about Trent, The Madman!

    But is there an actor alive who could pull off the role?
    I'd have to nominate Patrick Stewart for the job. There's a murderous sexer in there just bursting to get out.


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