Was I Misleading or Just not intrested ?

knowit12

z

prinz

I love Brick.....................Walsh.

smash

This aint going to end well

starbelgrade

If you snog a bloke & don't at the very least offer him a hand job, you're a prick teaser.

Them's the rules.

kfallon

I bet he had a **** into a ditch on the side of that long lonely road :pac:

daltonmd

Leave well enough alone. You didn't ask him to follow you? He's a big boy - put it this way, had he got what he wanted then you may never have heard from him again.

He took a chance - a kiss isn't a sign of anything other than a snog, he was too full on, thought he was getting more and he didn't.

Enjoy being single!!

I_smell_fear

You don't seem too intelligent.

smash

night club starts to close & we where heading back to a freinds house to contuine the session - was like to the guy I was kissing "ah come back to the party we're going to - bring your freinds"

We arrive at the house and the guy comes in - on his own......
his mates had all gone back to we're they lived which was a good hours drive from where we were at Was kind of questioning him as to way he came back if all his mates had gone

...

CardBordWindow

knowit12 wrote: »

Ok so i'm recently only out a long term relationship - not heartbroken just getting use to single life..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dc2Z7CL4Cv0

The King of Moo

I think maybe it would've been better to have not invited him to the party: most men, especially after you've kissed them, would take that as a signal.

Look at it from his perspective: a girl kissed him, then asked him back to a party. Sounds like a good thing.

I'm not being critical by the way: you were just having fun and not thinking too much about things: I'm just showing what he was probably thinking.

It was a bit creepy the way he kept being all lovey-dovey though.

But don't beat yourself up over it. At least you told him, and he did leave without causing too much trouble, so it ended much better than it could've been. Lots of guys would've (wrongly) got very pissy and made a scene.

Try not to think about it too much; it's all over now and no harm was really done.

pickarooney

The question needs to be asked: why did you invite this person who you did not know and did not feel any attraction back to someone else's house (and then act surprised when he took you up on it)?

prinz

Was his name Woogie and did he take any of your shoes?

Gummy Panda

Maybe you sent mixed signals by mistake. Either way he has probably told his friends that he rode you

Seachmall

There are over 30 spelling and grammar mistakes in the post OP.

"sistuation" is my favourite. Like a sister/sister situation.

Snowie

assumption..... that old story

knowit12

pickarooney wrote: »

The question needs to be asked: why did you invite this person who you did not know and did not feel any attraction back to someone else's house (and then act surprised when he took you up on it)?

The King of Moo wrote: »

I think maybe it would've been better to have not invited him to the party: most men, especially after you've kissed them, would take that as a signal.

Look at it from his perspective: a girl kissed him, then asked him back to a party. Sounds like a good thing.

I'm not being critical by the way: you were just having fun and not thinking too much about things: I'm just showing what he was probably thinking.

It was a bit creepy the way he kept being all lovey-dovey though.

But don't beat yourself up over it. At least you told him, and he did leave without causing too much trouble, so it ended much better than it could've been. Lots of guys would've (wrongly) got very pissy and made a scene.

Try not to think about it too much; it's all over now and no harm was really done.

I'd invited him and his friends back.. They where after been with us all night having the laugh so I taught I was just been friendly asking them All back ...

cherryghost

Why would his friends bother coming back if nobody was interested in them?

knowit12

smash wrote: »

...

BRING YOUR FRIENDS

knowit12

cherryghost wrote: »

Why would his friends bother coming back if nobody was interested in them?

It wasn't all about scoring and been intrested - we were out having the crack with them , why not come back to contuine the laugh -
I wasn't aware that when you ask someone back to a party it automatically means you are going to get lucky tonight

Fluorescence

AH needs a big sign in big neon letters at the top of every page that says, "GOT A PROBLEM? PERSONAL ISSUES FORUM IS THAT WAY ---->"

smash

knowit12 wrote: »

smash wrote: »

...

BRING YOUR FRIENDS

Why would he bother when you kissed him and then asked him back? He thought he'd be with you.

foxyboxer

Why did you start kissing him in the first place?

I'll take 'Ego Boost' for $500 please.

Seachmall

knowit12 wrote: »

BRING YOUR FRIENDS

Kinky.

KERSPLAT!

To answer the OP I'd say, misleading

The King of Moo

knowit12 wrote: »

I'd invited him and his friends back.. They where after been with us all night having the laugh so I taught I was just been friendly asking them All back ...

But...

you only kissed him, not the other friends. Now it is weirder that he came back with you on his own if you invited them all, but it was the kiss that was making him expect some action.

Not that he was entitled to expect that, or you were wrong to kiss him, but that's why he assumed you were interested in him.

foxyboxer

So you kissed him?

If I get kissed by a woman without making a smooth move of my own then my simple brain would suggest that some vigorous horizontal gymnastics are quite possibly on the cards.

Fart

"Bring your friends" means "Bring some protection/condoms".

That's why his human friends didn't come along. He probably thought he was getting the royid. Choose your words wisely next time.

You do seem sincere and innocent though, OP. Don't worry about it, I'm sure he's fine and is pulling the lad off himself now whilst thinking about you.

knowit12

The King of Moo wrote: »

But...

you only kissed him, not the other friends. Now it is weirder that he came back with you on his own if you invited them all, but it was the kiss that was making him expect some action.

Not that he was entitled to expect that, or you were wrong to kiss him, but that's why he assumed you were interested in him.

I was out with my friends going back to a friends for a session.. That was all !!!
If I wanted to Fcuk him I would have left on my OWN with him - I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

HazDanz

You were misleading OP.

KERSPLAT!

knowit12 wrote: »

I was out with my friends going back to a friends for a session.. That was all !!!
If I wanted to Fcuk him I would have left on my OWN with him - I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

He wasn't stalking you, you asked him to follow!

smash

knowit12 wrote: »

I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

He followed because you asked him to. Maybe his friends didn't want to go, but he still got the invite!

Seachmall

knowit12 wrote: »

he followed...

You invited him...?

Peetrik

knowit12 wrote: »

BRING YOUR FRIENDS

You hadn't been playing tonsil tennis with his friends.
In fairness to you, the guy took a gamble not keeping enough money to get home as its a well documented fact that 'bitches be crazy yo'.
In fairness to the guy, an invite back to an afterparty from someone who has been kissing you is at the very least a gaurentee of more kissing and a cuddle, instead of that he was publicly rejected and then the unwilling object of whispered giggles and you hiding in a bathroom and probably more girly dramatic bull****. Fair play to him for being a gentleman even after your bs.

Infact even theoretically putting myself in his position I'm annoyed at you on his behalf.

You spoon!

Good day madam.

knowit12

IPAM wrote: »

He wasn't stalking you, you asked him to follow!

Who said anything about stalking ?

KERSPLAT!

knowit12 wrote: »

Wo said anything about stalking ?

You invited a lad back to a party and then make him sound like a weirdo for taking you up on the invite

The King of Moo

knowit12 wrote: »

I was out with my friends going back to a friends for a session.. That was all !!!
If I wanted to Fcuk him I would have left on my OWN with him - I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

But he didn't exactly follow you. You invited him and his friends back to the house: just because the friends didn't come, that doesn't mean he was uninvited. He probably shouldn't have come back with you: it would've been very awkward to be on his own among you and your friends. If he were interested, he should've left but asked for your number to meet you for a coffee sometime.
That would've been the more sensible thing to do, but at the same time you can't really blame him for coming back when he'd been invited.
And since you'd kissed him, he was thinking there may have been more involved than a session. How was he to know you weren't interested in more?

Look, kissing him then inviting him and his friends back was misleading, though you do have every right to kiss a man and not want to do anything further. But you have to understand that the guy might expect more, though that doesn't give him any right to feel entitled to more.

I think you should chalk this one up to experience: your actions were unintentionally misleading, he made one too many assumptions and was a bit creepy, but there was no major harm done and the situation could've ended a lot worse.

I agree with king of moo.
You were kissing him, you invited him back, he expected more to happen. I don't think either of you were wrong in the situation. Crossed wires at worst, but you'll be more aware of it next time. If you kiss someone and invite them back after the club is finished, they are likely to think they're on a promise.

Immaculate Pasta

knowit12 wrote: »

hop into a taxi about 20 mins after and there he is walking all by himself down this long road

I creased up when I read that. Classic! I wonder if he was singing All By Myself on the long walk home.

fluorescence wrote: »

AH needs a big sign in big neon letters at the top of every page that says, "GOT A PROBLEM? PERSONAL ISSUES FORUM IS THAT WAY ---->"

But the best threads on After Hours are when someone divulges their personal lives to us. Particularly when it's about relationships. Like the young lad who met yer wan in a sandwich shop which was actually in a old couple's house and yer man who thought his teacher fancied him.

Fart wrote: »

"Bring your friends" means "Bring some protection/condoms".

That's why his human friends didn't come along. He probably thought he was getting the royid. Choose your words wisely next time.

What do you mean by this human friends? Did he bring his dog along to the nightclub and the party afterwards or something?

knowit12

IPAM wrote: »

You invited a lad back to a party and then make him sound like a weirdo for taking you up on the invite

salking , weirdo ?? I don't see either of them words on any of my posts. see ya

xsiborg

knowit12 wrote: »

The King of Moo wrote: »

But...

you only kissed him, not the other friends. Now it is weirder that he came back with you on his own if you invited them all, but it was the kiss that was making him expect some action.

Not that he was entitled to expect that, or you were wrong to kiss him, but that's why he assumed you were interested in him.

I was out with my friends going back to a friends for a session.. That was all !!!
If I wanted to Fcuk him I would have left on my OWN with him - I left with my friends and not him for a reason - he followed...

you're taking this far too seriously OP and thinking about it WAY too much, i guarantee you he's not still thinking about it, you're not at fault at all, he assumed certain expectations, he was wrong, he'll have got over it by now and honestly- so should you!

what age are you OP that you would feel any kind of guilt for not putting out for this guy? so what like if you had a bit of fun in the club, you're entitled to enjoy yourself and under no obligation to live up to his expectations, sounds like you're well rid tbh, and dont let this one silly incident put you off enjoying yourself and having a bit of craic when you go out, there's plenty of lads out there that wont assume they're gonna get laid the minute they kiss a girl, let alone like this guy acting like a total weirdo! if he'd even tried to socialise at the party with the rest of your friends, he may not have come across as half as creepy!

Bodhisopha

Make it clear next time that sex is not on the cards. Seems to me that you just wanted to know you could have him, once this was clear you lost interest.

Fart

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

What do you mean by this human friends? Did he bring his dog along to the nightclub and the party afterwards or something?

I was expecting this sort of reply. I was trying to distinguish between condoms and his mates.

Plazaman

A nightclub kissing session + invite back to a house = A Ride. It's in the male psyche I'm afraid. It's not our fault, it's built into us from our hunter/gatherer days. Fellas are not great at reading signs especially when out drinking. To him, regardless of asking his friend to go back to the houseparty as well, the invite led him to believe he was going to get banged like a shed door in a hurricane.

Let this be a lesson OP next time don't be afraid to be, well not blunt, but articulate. If you extend an invite again you need to say "Would you like to come back to our party - oh just to be clear, I'm a dude"..... or something similar to imply that Benjamin and the twins stay in his pants.

Seachmall

I don't see how he was at fault.

She shifted the face of him. She invited him back to a friend's. I think the roide is a reasonable expectation here.

That's not to say OP is at fault, either. Perhaps a bit naive in the signals she was sending out and how they would be interpreted, but didn't do anything wrong.


Men are from Mars, Women from Venus and all that.

stripysocks85

Eh, OP, what age are you?

Thrill

Unintentionally misleading.

Anyway, who cares. No means no, no-matter what he thought or expected.

Seachmall

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Eh, OP, what age are you?

My money is on 17/18 - First year college.

Immaculate Pasta

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Eh, OP, what age are you?

Seachmall wrote: »

My money is on 17/18 - First year college.

Nah comfortably late 40s I'd say :cool:

knowit12

stripysocks85 wrote: »

Eh, OP, what age are you?

what has age got to do with it ?

24

smash

knowit12 wrote: »

what has age got to do with it ?

24

Without prying to much, was the long term relationship you just got out of your first relationship?

Fart

smash wrote: »

Without prying to much, was the long term relationship you just got out of your first relationship?

Seems obvious. :P