(UK) Vicar hospitalised with potato up his Bum

Hootanany

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: 'He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

'But it's not for me to question his story.'

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.





I fell on it.

Lumbo

He'll be spitting chips when he finds out he's been exposed.

benway

No corkscrews in the rectory, obviously.

Nothingbetter2d

hahaha as god is my word eh?

Feeona

The humble potato-so versatile!

Captain Darling

FFS!! Can a man not stick a potato up his hole without it being totally sensationalised??

I dont know what the world is coming to.

smcgiff

Hootanany wrote: »

I fell on it repeatedly.

FYP

Fizman

His story sounds legit.

If I had a dollar for everytime time I slipped onto some vegetables while hanging curtains while completely naked......I'd have four dollars.

Captain Darling

Fizman wrote: »

His story sounds legit.

If I had a dollar for everytime time I slipped onto some vegetables while hanging curtains while completely naked......I'd have four dollars.

And a sore hole.

senorwipesalot

Reminds me of a chap I heard about who was working in a piggery in Kilkenny who when was caught ridin a pig claimed
"I was havin a piss and the pig backed into me"

mconigol

God bless his holeness...

Gevie Stee

Sounds like a load of waffle to me

Nothingbetter2d

senorwipesalot wrote: »

Reminds me of a chap I heard about who was working in a piggery in Kilkenny who when was caught ridin a pig claimed
"I was havin a piss and the pig backed into me"

it was you wasn't it? needed to wipealot after that?

senorwipesalot

Nothingbetter2d wrote: »

it was you wasn't it? needed to wipealot after that?

Get your coat.

Stiffler2

As far as I'm aware I think the Catholic Church sent out a memo to all priests telling them to stop using little boys and to start using potatoes.

phasers

At least it wasn't a cauliflower

smcgiff

Stiffler2 wrote: »

As far as I'm aware I think the Catholic Church sent out a memo to all priests telling them to stop using little boys and to start using potatoes.

Serves the Vicar right following Popish ways.

El Weirdo

Hootanany wrote: »

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

"Did this happen during a sex game?"

"Definitely not."

"Okay."

:pac:

emzolita

reminds me of when my boyfriend was a kid and cut his own hair, to save getting in trouble, he told his mam, his brother threw the scissors and it flew through the air, whilst taking a good chunk of his hair out.

44leto

Ehhh he fell on it, that is what I would say. But I am curious what kink game involves spuds.

I remember reading about a case in England when they found a man who bled too death.

He somehow figured that sodomy would be a good idea with his horse, it wasn't, but the remarkable thing, the coroner estimated it took him about 3 days to die and in agony. He was to embarrassed to seek assistance.

foxyboxer

How angry would you be if a nurse gave an interview like that.
I don't care what kinky stuff people are into but surely you'd expect a bit of privacy and confidentiality.

foxyboxer

PO-TAY-TO!!

BOIL 'EM

MASH 'EM

STICK 'EM UP YER BUM!

senorwipesalot

Damn you,sexy root vegetables.

Abi

Stiffler2 wrote: »

As far as I'm aware I think the Catholic Church sent out a memo to all priests telling them to stop using little boys and to start using potatoes.

It's not the Catholics, its the protestants they're after.


/swings shopping bags around crazy like

Captain Darling

What was once a kerr pink, is now a kerr brown.

benway

Cantona's Collars

Did anyone see the related story in that link about the chinese farmer becoming a minor celebrity due to his potato?
What is it with people & spuds?

marozz

I think this story is just puree waffle.

I hope he is back in time for Sunday Mash.

I mean Mass!!

token101

Eh, regardless of what this guy did, is he not entitled to confidentiality? Or does that just go out the window when the situation is funny? I'd sue the hole of that nurse and I'd be wanting her struck off if possible.

Wattle

They should keep searching. They might find a few altar boys up there.

Odaise Gaelach

Reminds me of Bottom:

"What was your name again?"
"Spudgun."
"Spudgun. Why do they call you 'Spudgun'?"
"Well, give me a potato and I show you why."

thecommietommy

Hootanany wrote: »

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/382493-vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: 'He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

'But it's not for me to question his story.'

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.





I fell on it.

I have heard about this kind of thing before. Grub Smith who writes for the lad mag FHM had a programme on Channell 4 about embarassing sex situations etc ( for example a teacher who used to have intercourse with her Alsatian dog was caught when her ex boy friend gave the video tape over to the police who prosecuted her !!! ).

Amyway two gays had the bright idea of inserting a condom full of wet cement up one of their butts. The cement hardened and they had to bring him to hospital were they used a sonic device to crack and break up the cement so they could get it out of his ar$e. Fact.

amacachi

Hootanany wrote: »

A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: 'He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

How did he explain the condom it was in?

senorwipesalot

A vicar walks into the doctor's office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a potato in his arse, and a carrot stuck in his japs eye.

The vicar says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

token101

thecommietommy wrote: »

Amyway two gays had the bright idea of inserting a condom full of wet cement up one of their butts. The cement hardened and they had to bring him to hospital were they used a sonic device to crack and break up the cement so they could get it out of his ar$e. Fact.

They should have presented them with a Darwin Award. And a little statuette carved from the cement pulled out of yer man's hole.

im invisible

token101 wrote: »

They should have presented them with a Darwin Award.

???


Oh i get it, is it because he is gay?

token101

im invisible wrote: »

???


Oh i get it, is it because he is gay?

You're being sarcastic. Surely? Please tell me you're being sarcastic? Because if you're not, you're calling me homophobic for suggesting that a guy pouring concrete up his ass is beyond a moron?

ejmaztec

It must have happened in the rectumory.

Biggins

Captain Darling wrote: »

FFS!! Can a man not stick a potato up his hole without it being totally sensationalised??

I dont know what the world is coming to.

An unholy end!

xzanti

I remember hearing that story years ago..

Radharc na Sleibhte

Was it a roast potato?

efb

Nothing bigger than a fist!

Radharc na Sleibhte

Why a potato anyway?

Surely a nice sexy parsnip would be lovely.

ejmaztec

Playing a bum note on the tuber.

Thrill

Bummer.

Logical Fallacy

Captain Darling wrote: »

And a sore hole.

Only the first three times, after that the challenge is normally finding a large enough vegetable.

Canis Lupus

Surely given enough time one could... scrape enough away to pop it back out again....

Hootanany

It reminds me off a time a girl I knew sat on a Fire Hydrant and hit the pavement.

AngryBollix

Hootanany wrote: »

It reminds me off a time a girl I knew sat on a Fire Hydrant and hit the pavement.

She must have some sphinc on her.

Did it go all the way in?

AngryBollix

I might try ramming a spud up me hoop later just for the craic