My life is a mess - I want to be like someone from Friends!

anon cable

OP_here_again wrote: »

I have tried. I try at the gym I got to 4-5 times per week. Nothing returned. Just a few people who say hello and small talk about how busy it is.

I was made fun of at school due to how I looked and certain other things. These things have had a large effect on me. My so-called friends sniggered at my record with girls. It has got me down.

It's easy to sit on a computer and write a reply telling me to kop on or similar. It's a lot more difficult for me than any of you could ever know.

Do you not think I know that in my 30's this is probably the last chance I have to reclaim a 'normal' life before I become a bitter old lonely man? Do you think I don't know that?



You sound like my first counsellor. He was full of himself too.

You seem to refute any suggestions and solutions with excuses and reasons why it isnt going to work. You seem to seek validation for your self inflicted misery. There have been a number of very worthwhile suggestions that you should follow that will result in concrete improvements in your situation.....

+ move house share, ideally to a house with male and female housemates

+ cut out the porn and reduce your incessant masturbation to once a week at most - this will arouse more interest for you in real women and not just what you see on the net

+ join internet dating sites - GO ON A DATE ! even if it doesnt work the experience will stand to you then GO ON ANOTHER !

+ work on your appearance - get a personal consultation, maybe grow a goatee to hide your week chin? shave your hair tight to disguise your baldness?

+ improve your wardrobe and dress sense

+ ditch the farm excuse at least every second saturday and spend the time focussing on above - make this your goal


You need to change and only you can do this - otherwise get used to your fantasy land with your demure but dirty women on the net that you interact with only in your head....change and change now before its too late !

LegacyUser

I'm not moving house as I don't want to start another contract - I am purchasing a place currently so don't want to get tied down.

I did joing a dating site - on the recommendation of someone else on here. It was crap. The administrators did not contact me for 2 weeks in order to validate my account, so i'm now looking for some other wite to join.

Nowt wrong with my clothes.

Going to an orthadontist soon. Appt booked.

Already cutting back on porn.

I will inherit a share of the farm.


I am trying, I'm just rubbish at it.

Taltos

We have received a report that the poster here claiming to be the OP, is not actually the OP. - "OP again...going to try".
All their posts have been deleted and an investigation is underway, poster in the meantime we have removed your ability to post to PI/RI.

To the original OP - apologies this has happened - thank you for getting in touch with confirmation of being the OP. Your post from last night was restored.

Fake OP has now been permabanned from PI/RI.
All posts after the initial hijacking post have been removed, however for transparency this thread has been copied to a closed thread with a similar name. Everyone who contributed after that point - sorry for removing your posts but since they may have been influenced by the banned poster it was the only fair thing to do.

Taltos

gud4u

I hope you can turn it around, you must feel it's worth having a good life, don't throw it away in misery.

You already have made a few changes and all's not lost, there's nowt wrong with your clothes:)

Don't be influenced by what happened here either, keep posting if it's giving you support or perspective.

LegacyUser

Taltos: thanks for sorting this for me.

Back on subject. I am now getting up earlier to go to work. this means I can finish work earlier and leaves me with the evenings free to do things.

Only thing is I've got nothing to do yet!

It's a small tiny step, but it is a step in te right direction I think. Actually as i think about this more, I believe that I suffer from SAD. During the dark, wet months of the year I'd lie in bed until late, not getting into work until 10am, leaving at 7pm - now I am in at 8am and leaving at 4:00pm!

I've yet to fgure out what to do with myself. I have slight interests in self defence, photography and cooking. It's just a matter of finding a suitable outlet.

In terms of on-line dating - I am uncomfortable doing this now as my life as the title says is such a mess. If someone probed with questions i don't know how to answer and I don't want to lie or come across as an oddball.

I'm still at a loss as to how i cut the strings with home to an extent where I can live my own life. I dream of moving away but deep down I know that wil not happena for a number of reasons. Any suggestions?

ihsb

op_here_again wrote: »

Taltos: thanks for sorting this for me.

Back on subject. I am now getting up earlier to go to work. this means I can finish work earlier and leaves me with the evenings free to do things.

Only thing is I've got nothing to do yet!

It's a small tiny step, but it is a step in te right direction I think. Actually as i think about this more, I believe that I suffer from SAD. During the dark, wet months of the year I'd lie in bed until late, not getting into work until 10am, leaving at 7pm - now I am in at 8am and leaving at 4:00pm!

I've yet to fgure out what to do with myself. I have slight interests in self defence, photography and cooking. It's just a matter of finding a suitable outlet.

In terms of on-line dating - I am uncomfortable doing this now as my life as the title says is such a mess. If someone probed with questions i don't know how to answer and I don't want to lie or come across as an oddball.

I'm still at a loss as to how i cut the strings with home to an extent where I can live my own life. I dream of moving away but deep down I know that wil not happena for a number of reasons. Any suggestions?

Wow... what a step in the right direction OP! I know you said that change is hard for you so pat yourself on the back for making every change. No matter how small.

I agree on the dating site thing. I think you need to cut back on the porn (which I have already said and you have said you have tried) and work on fixing yourself before you get anyone else involved.

On regards of your family, it is good that you have a close family. You don't want to ruin that as you will probably need their support at some point.

You say you have to go home at the weekends to help out? Well maybe suggest that they downsize, make it easier to cope. Explain that you are trying to fix your own life at the moment and that you are not going to be able to travel so much. I would say cut down helping them gradually. Start with only three weekends a month, then two. Then more if you need it.

Try http://www.eveningclasses.ie/ to look for a class that you can do to pursue your interests. For meeting male friends do the self defence and to get chatting to women (I am not saying for dating but for a healthy view of them) try the cookery and photography. People don't chat easily. Anyone that is in a course on their own is probably just like you. Nothing to do in the evenings and feeling a bit low. Wanting to get out of the house. They are probably just as shy as you. So don't expect miracles from the beginning but keep going.