So i've been asked to be a sponsor for a confirmation...

Festus

Festus wrote: »

Here's a couple of links that might help

http://www.cuf.org/faithfacts/details_view.asp?ffID=271

http://archphila.org/evangelization/worship/guidelines/sponsors.pdf

This is a serious issue and we can understand your nephews excitement but as already mentioned his parents have put you in a very awkward position.

It is an unfortunately reality, not just in Ireland, that there are few Catholics who meet the requirements.

This is not something you can sort out on your own.
Perhaps if you encourage them to research the requirements for confirmation sponsors for themselves they may come up with a solution.

Yo CMPunked,

I'm going to revise what I said and suggest you sit down with the pastor in charge of your nephews Confirmation.

I mean, really... you expect Boards.ie to be your guide?

CMpunked

Festus wrote: »

Yo CMPunked,

I'm going to revise what I said and suggest you sit down with the pastor in charge of your nephews Confirmation.

I mean, really... you expect Boards.ie to be your guide?

I didnt expect boards to be my guide in this issue, no.
To be honest the reason for starting this thread was purely because I didnt know what was the practical side of being the sponsor on the confirmation day, and wanted to know what i could expect. What the discussion then spread into was pretty interesting and very respectful from everyone that gave their opinion.

I continue to go through with it, i have spoken to the parents and they have informed whoever needs to be informed that im not a member of the church in question and they were fine with that.

Benny_Cake

CMpunked wrote: »

I continue to go through with it, i have spoken to the parents and they have informed whoever needs to be informed that im not a member of the church in question and they were fine with that.

In fairness then, there is little more that you can do, and if I was in your shoes I'd be doing exactly the same thing. Enjoy the day!

dvpower

gimmebroadband wrote: »

I wouldn't agree! It's an opportunity for lapsed Catholics to re-kindle their faith!

Maybe it could be an opportunity for the OP to move over to the 'superior' faith.

NiallCork

On a similar subject, can I ask opinions, or better still get a factual response to a dilemma that has recently arose.

I am godfather to my nephew who is soon to be confirmed. however, I found out recently - through the grapevine - that he has chosen my other brother to be his sppnsor.
Now, I had always understood that part of the role of being a godparent is to be the sponsor for the child at his confirmation. Indeed, I looked this up on the interweb and it does state that "ideally" the godparent is chosen as the sponsor.
Without getting into all the unrest this has caused in many corners, part of an explanation I received (again third party as the parents have yet had the courtesy to contact me directly in this regard, having found out how upset I was at this "snub") - is that this role of sponsor being part of the godparents duty is not how it is done "In Dublin". Now, I am not sure if there are seperate rules designed by the catholic church for people living in / from Dublin, but everyone else I asked about this seemed to share my opinion that is is very unusual for one of the godparents not to be asked (or automatically assumed) to be the sponsor.

I would very much welcome the opinions and thoughts of the forum!

From a very disappointed and insulted godparent!!

Thanks

Doc Farrell

NiallCork wrote: »

On a similar subject, can I ask opinions, or better still get a factual response to a dilemma that has recently arose.

I am godfather to my nephew who is soon to be confirmed. however, I found out recently - through the grapevine - that he has chosen my other brother to be his sppnsor.
Now, I had always understood that part of the role of being a godparent is to be the sponsor for the child at his confirmation. Indeed, I looked this up on the interweb and it does state that "ideally" the godparent is chosen as the sponsor.
Without getting into all the unrest this has caused in many corners, part of an explanation I received (again third party as the parents have yet had the courtesy to contact me directly in this regard, having found out how upset I was at this "snub") - is that this role of sponsor being part of the godparents duty is not how it is done "In Dublin". Now, I am not sure if there are seperate rules designed by the catholic church for people living in / from Dublin, but everyone else I asked about this seemed to share my opinion that is is very unusual for one of the godparents not to be asked (or automatically assumed) to be the sponsor.

I would very much welcome the opinions and thoughts of the forum!

From a very disappointed and insulted godparent!!

Thanks

A similar situation happened to me but I think that the best response is just to be the best godparent that you can be and allow your brother to take a role too. If you make an issue of this i think you will be making a huge mistake. Better to get stuck into life and enjoy whatever role you already play.
I'm sorry if this is not the factual response you are hoping for but the real fact, that life is too short to hold grudges, vastly outweighs any other facts.
If you make an issue of this you could be destroying your future with your family.

Penn

Doc Farrell wrote: »

A similar situation happened to me but I think that the best response is just to be the best godparent that you can be and allow your brother to take a role too. If you make an issue of this i think you will be making a huge mistake. Better to get stuck into life and enjoy whatever role you already play.
I'm sorry if this is not the factual response you are hoping for but the real fact, that life is too short to hold grudges, vastly outweighs any other facts.
If you make an issue of this you could be destroying your future with your family.

I agree. I'd also add that from what I remember, only one godparent acts as sponsor for the child. So you might not have been sponsor anyway. Just treat it like that. Treat it as though the other godparent was chosen. It's only a big deal if you make it one.

true

CMpunked wrote: »

I am a christian

Thats the main thing

dvpower wrote: »

Maybe it could be an opportunity for the OP to move over to the 'superior' faith.

but who is to say he/she already is not;)? What would Jesus say, especially after all that has happened?

Good luck to the OP, do not worry about it.

CMpunked

Just an update; I went through with it, there wasnt an ounce of hassle.
Thanks for all the advice which posters gave, i came clean to anyone who asked as I felt dishonest if I was to lie to their face about the whole thing and obviously that wouldnt have been the best thing to do in the example i was trying to set.

gimmebroadband

Good to hear it went well!

NiallCork

Penn wrote: »

I agree. I'd also add that from what I remember, only one godparent acts as sponsor for the child. So you might not have been sponsor anyway. Just treat it like that. Treat it as though the other godparent was chosen. It's only a big deal if you make it one.

Thanks Doc & Penn.

I hear what you are saying and I wish it was that easy! My main "gripe" is not really that fact that I was not chosen, irrespective of who the person that was chosen is, but more that I was not told and to this day, would not have found out only for a random call that I made to another member of the family. Since my original post, my wife has spoken to the mother of the child explaining how dissappointed and upset I was and that maybe they should give me a call just to smooth things out. However, I have yet to receive any call or offered any explanation!
I understand what you guys are saying but I have being put in a position whereby actually attending the confirmation would be both embarassing and humiliating for me because of the childs parents' action - or more apt - their lack of actions!
So, it has now become more than a "simple" insult as not being chosen as the godfather - which I could get over, but extends to the total lack of respect and common decency the childs parents are displaying by not even acknowledging my upset and making any effort to offer an explanation, much less an apology!

Anywho....Life is too short, so I have decided to stop worrying about it and enjoy and appreciate my own kids with increased fever (if that was even possible! )

Thanks again guys, your comments were very much appreciated!

Cato Maior

CMpunked wrote: »

Just an update; I went through with it, there wasnt an ounce of hassle.
Thanks for all the advice which posters gave, i came clean to anyone who asked as I felt dishonest if I was to lie to their face about the whole thing and obviously that wouldnt have been the best thing to do in the example i was trying to set.

A friend of mine asked me to be godparent to his son. Both my friend and myself are atheists, although both of us were baptised Catholics but have renounced our religion and I formally defected from the church.

However, I went through with it anyway, for the sake of our friendship and for the honour of being asked. The priest conducting the baptism knew that I have left the church and renounced by former beliefs but he made no issue of it at all. They don't really seem to mind.