Inappropriate things you've laughed at

AngryBollix

Ellis Dee wrote: »

I'm coloured and can't see what's funny about it. In fact, I thought we were all coloured.

My eyes are blue, lips red pink, my skin a pasty white with some brown spots moles, my hair snow white grey and the top of my knob a bluish red purple. Is that coloured enough?

fyp

Standard Toaster

Erm....

McChubbin

Maddie McCann jokes make me giggle.

admiralofthefleet

in roches stores a few years ago i saw a girl the size of a mountain get a large plate of greasy fatty food and loads of mayonaisse salads with a bottle of diet coke
i couldnt help but burst out laughing, hungry hippos indeed

Johnny Foreigner

I saw an African woman crash her car into a sign post while parking her car.

Babybuff

sister fell don stairs and broke her thumb, I was almost hospitalised for the asthma attack brought on by laughing so much

Lady Chatterton

A few years ago, my brother and I howled with laughter after an eldery man threw his lotto slip into our Grand Aunt's coffin instead of a mass card :D

Sindri

The King of Moo wrote: »

I came across this guy today calling a black guy a "coloured lad."

I loled.

:pac:

The only time I have genuinely lol'd reading something on the internet..

Kev.OC

About 5 years ago, myself and a friend were standing outside school waiting to be collected. We were about 17 at the time. There were 3 girls, I'd say about maybe 14, after crossing back across the road from the garage to the school. The only thing standing in the way of them getting onto the grounds was a 4ft wall. So the first girl climbed over without too much hassle, and the other two looked to follow suit. Only problem was though, one of them was a big girl. She was unable to climb onto the wall and instead decided to roll over the top of it. My friend and myself were in absolute stitches! We couldn't stand up straight for about 5 minutes. The girls, who were about 60 yards away heard us laughing, and even worse they had to walk past us. To this day one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

Fromthetrees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZvCK2o6Zbo

herisson

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I like a good holocaust joke.

Holocaust jokes arent funny, Anne Frankly i wont put up with them!!

i joke i joke they are gas!! :pac:




ill grab my coat

Coriolanus

My father's funeral.
Us, the kids, had done the carrying the coffin thing into and out of the church, but we yielded to some very old friends of his from the hearse to grave (church was about a mile away so we drove/walked).
So they get him out of the hearse, but somehow manage all to be facing the wrong way (which is the right way?!)
Undertaker guy, nice and quietly like says they'll the wrong direction and tries to get them turned around.
Ken, who's a ledgebag, lets out a roar, "No we're not, I'm bringing him up to the pub for one last drink".
Cue probably 2-300 people absolutely roaring laughter. Completely innapropriate, but it was quite.. cathartic or something on such a sombre day.

Paddy@CIRL

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I like a good holocaust joke.

It's hard to find Holocaust jokes funny when you've lost a grand parent to it :rolleyes:














He died after falling out of his watch tower.

bb1234567

When foreign people pronounce english words in a hilarious way.:)

lastlaugh

I had a manual labour job a few years ago in a big yard. We had to unload 40 foot containers into trucks.
Anyway, one day one of the blokes nearly got squashed between a truck and container and had to throw himself on the ground for fear of his life. It was a big fall, about 10 foot down and he was in bits when he hit the ground.

There he was shouting and holding onto his back when the 'Safety' officer came over. Then he does what any highly skilled medic would do and starts trying to yank yerman up and telling him he'd 'be grand'.

I was in absolute stitches, it was so wrong but God Damn it was funny.

Sindri

Nevore wrote: »

My father's funeral.
Us, the kids, had done the carrying the coffin thing into and out of the church, but we yielded to some very old friends of his from the hearse to grave (church was about a mile away so we drove/walked).
So they get him out of the hearse, but somehow manage all to be facing the wrong way (which is the right way?!)
Undertaker guy, nice and quietly like says they'll the wrong direction and tries to get them turned around.
Ken, who's a ledgebag, lets out a roar, "No we're not, I'm bringing him up to the pub for one last drink".
Cue probably 2-300 people absolutely roaring laughter. Completely innapropriate, but it was quite.. cathartic or something on such a sombre day.

That is a fantastic story.

Only in Ireland I'd imagine that would happen.

Fromthetrees

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Holocaust jokes arent funny, Anne Frankly i wont put up with them!!

i joke i joke they are gas!! :pac:




ill grab my coat

They say there's safety in numbers,

tell that to the jews.

krudler

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I like a good holocaust joke.

ffs, my grandfather died during in a concentration camp








he fell out of a guard tower :pac:

herisson

Fromthetrees wrote: »

They say there's safety in numbers,

tell that to the jews.

honestly, sometimes they take me out of mein kampfort zone

PhlegmyMoses

kfallon wrote: »

I switched on Fair City the other night to see a guy with two small arms and I laughed, totally inappropriate and I felt guilty after it

But it got me thinking, how bad is Irish acting talent if they had to get a deformed English actor for an Irish soap Unless his disorder was part of a storyline.

This is the guy and I am sorry for laughing, not sure what came over me

http://img.rasset.ie/0004bf40-628.jpg

Saw a lad with those short arms at a bus stop a while back. Didn't laugh until one of my friends asked us "How would you say he wipes his arse?" We all creased up.

Temptamperu

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I like a good holocaust joke.

They're gas alright :pac:

Pandora2

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

Saw a lad with those short arms at a bus stop a while back. Didn't laugh until one of my friends asked us "How would you say he wipes his arse?" We all creased up.

The 'short arms' thing is the physical result of the drug Thalidomide (not sure if it was prescribed in Ireland, it was in the UK), given to pregnant women in the '60's to combat Morning Sickness......My Mum was offered it early in her pregnancy with me and, thank the Heavens, she hated taking tablets and declined the offer.

lastlaugh

lastlaugh wrote: »

I had a manual labour job a few years ago in a big yard. We had to unload 40 foot containers into trucks.
Anyway, one day one of the blokes nearly got squashed between a truck and container and had to throw himself on the ground for fear of his life. It was a big fall, about 10 foot down and he was in bits when he hit the ground.

There he was shouting and holding onto his back when the 'Safety' officer came over. Then he does what any highly skilled medic would do and starts trying to yank yerman up and telling him he'd 'be grand'.

I was in absolute stitches, it was so wrong but God Damn it was funny.

In the same place, there used to be pallets stacked up really high. One day a truck driver reversed into a stack of pallets when there was a bloke standing on top of them, there was a few of us on the ground watching as the pallets started to wobble around with the bloke on top, we found this hilarious. If yermann had of fallen he could easily have died or at least have been seriously injured.
It still makes me chuckle.
I'm still laughing about it now typing this

Coriolanus

Sindri wrote: »

That is a fantastic story.

Only in Ireland I'd imagine that would happen.

Thanks, and that was only one part of it. As wierd as it is to say, I think he'd have enjoyed the day.

marcsignal

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I like a good holocaust joke.

Here you go :pac:

PhlegmyMoses

Pandora2 wrote: »

The 'short arms' thing is the physical result of the drug Thalidomide (not sure if it was prescribed in Ireland, it was in the UK), given to pregnant women in the '60's to combat Morning Sickness......My Mum was offered it early in her pregnancy with me and, thank the Heavens, she hated taking tablets and declined the offer.

Yeah I've read about it before, it's pretty grim. It's where the derogatory term "flid" comes from in the UK.

Pandora2

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

Yeah I've read about it before, it's pretty grim. It's where the derogatory term "flid" comes from in the UK.

Don't think it was available in Ireland.....everyone I ever encountered with it was Scots/English/Welsh and I was brought up here and have never heard the term (Yeuch!!)

Anyhow back to the business at hand, would not want an infraction for pulling the thread 'off topic';) More funeral incidents are what's needed here:D:D:D

saa

I got fierce giggles when trying to tell someone a joke before I just seemed like I thought I was so hilarious and the worst part was I had to finish what I was saying and it didn't live up to my loling, it was only because I was meant to be quiet and whispering but the pressure of being serious got all too much.

lastlaugh

Me and my girlfriend went to Austrailia for a year about 10yrs ago, we were in Melbourne on a train sitting accross from each other.
Next of all this aul lad gets on and sits beside my girlfriend. This dude had the worst wig I have ever seen, I mean it was as if it was made to look as false as possible.
She hadn't noticed the aul lad so I was started talking to her and throwing my eyes over in yermans direction to get her to look.
Once she looked at him she couldn't help but burst out laughing and then I started laughing, the poor aul lad must have known we were laughing at his dreadful thatch.
Although why he wore the thing in the first place is beyond me.

LFC5Times

A friend of my Uncles died the other day and I asked him how he died and he told me he was on holdiays and felt unwell and came home and was sent to hospital and then transferred to another hospital the next day.

He was then told he had 36 hours to live :eek:

Anyway he fell asleep and woke up a few hours later and was surrounded by all his family etc and announced "I thought I was supposed to be dead".

He died a few hours after.