Wife of 5 Years Has Affair and Blogs About it

Sully 79

Hi there, I am going through something very similar. My wife of nearly 5 years had an affair last week. She does not know I know yet. I happened to come across her blog. And it detailed the whole relationship.

Like you I took the relationship at times for granted and when another man showed her attention she fell for him. The other man has a wife and a couple of kids. They met last week and had passionate sex for 5 hours. I feel sick at the thoughts of this.

I have no idea what happens next, how can the relationship work if there is no trust.

I think my marriage is over.


She is sleeping in the spare room. I can't sleep without havin a few beers.


I think I am going to see a counsellor this week. Maybe you should do the same!

I am worried about finding someone new as this was true love.

I hope above helps you are not alone this happens, life has up's and downs this is how life is.


S

Taltos

Sully - felt it was best to split your reply into your own thread.
Hope this is OK but felt your response may have led the other thread off on a tangent.

Taltos

Lorna123

I am sorry to hear that you find yourself in this situation today. It must be very upsetting. I know it must be very hard to have to think about her with someone else, but just because she ended up in bed with this man does not mean she doesn't love you.

Don't despair, your marriage can still work out, if you want it to. Your wife felt neglected, and she took steps to try and feel appreciated. You can bet your bottom dollar that this affair will fizzle out sooner rather than later. Just try and give her all the attention you can right now, I know this might be hard, but say nothing about knowing what you know yet. Sometimes when a woman has an affair it is just a cry for help. It could be her way of saying that she is looking for more from you so if you would like to save your marriage pull out all the stops, pamper her, and see if that will bring results.

All I am saying is that it is not the end, there are still options open to you if you feel you can try them before giving up. Who knows, she may have been having sex with this other man but she might prefer if it had been you.

Best of Luck.

Gonzor

Not meaning to insult your intelligence Sully, but are you absolutely 100% sure its your wifes blog. Is her name/picture on it?

The only reason I ask is because about a year ago I found a blog that I was absoluetly positive was my best mates, and I read it religiously (and secretly) for months, then about a year later he put up a picture of himself, and low and behold it was the wrong guy- but I was so sure for that full year that it was actually my mate.

Sully 79

Thank you Lorna for your reply. It is just so raw I am unable to think clearly. All I can think about is the other man. I would like to destroy his marriage as he has done to me.

Sully 79

Taltos wrote: »

Sully - felt it was best to split your reply into your own thread.
Hope this is OK but felt your response may have led the other thread off on a tangent.

Taltos

No problem first time on here.

Sully 79

Gonzor wrote: »

Not meaning to insult your intelligence Sully, but are you absolutely 100% sure its your wifes blog. Is her name/picture on it?

The only reason I ask is because about a year ago I found a blog that I was absoluetly positive was my best mates, and I read it religiously (and secretly) for months, then about a year later he put up a picture of himself, and low and behold it was the wrong guy- but I was so sure for that full year that it was actually my mate.

110% it is her with pictures.

Gonzor

You say your wife only cheated last week, and that she doesnt know you know yet.

If I was you Id be inclined to say something fast before she goes to meet up with the guy again for round 2....

Im no expert on this kinda thing, but Id be of the opinion that if you dont nip this in the bud they might end up going off together.

As for telling the other guys wife. Most people here will probably say dont do it, your acting on impulse and that this "revenge" wont make anything better. WHich is one way of looking at it.

But I know if it was me, and I was that wife and I had kids with him, I would definetly want to know if he was cheating.

dixiefly

Sully,
Very sorry to hear your story. it's a pity that you two didnt get a chance to work on things before this happened.

I am not one for blogging & dont track them and am absolutely flabbergasted that your wife would broadcast this in detail in a blog that you or someone else she knows could access. That's why I wondered the same thing as Gonzor. It could be a stupid quextion but is there any chance that she could have been set up and someone posted a fake blog but that does sound very unlikely.

I am not sure what would do in the same circumstances but find it difficult to believe that I would not confront her if things had been anyway ok in the marriage. Also, if I knew the man's wife I would tell her - I just think I would want to be told especially when someone is blogging about it in the web!

Da Shins Kelly

It seems strange that she'd do something like that. Kinda like she wanted to be caught or something. I think it would be best to simply end it and get out of there.

Will I Amnt

Lorna123 wrote: »

It could be her way of saying that she is looking for more from you so if you would like to save your marriage pull out all the stops, pamper her, and see if that will bring results.

Have to totally disagree with that.
Her way of saying???sorry but I don't buy that at all,why not just..........say.

I can't speak for anybody else but the last thing I would be doing after finding out my wife was cheating would be pampering her.

I am a friend

Print it off as a record and confront her about it.

Paddy Bateman

Sully 79 wrote: »

Hi there, I am going through something very similar. My wife of nearly 5 years had an affair last week. She does not know I know yet. I happened to come across her blog. And it detailed the whole relationship.

Like you I took the relationship at times for granted and when another man showed her attention she fell for him. The other man has a wife and a couple of kids. They met last week and had passionate sex for 5 hours. I feel sick at the thoughts of this.

I have no idea what happens next, how can the relationship work if there is no trust.

I think my marriage is over.


She is sleeping in the spare room. I can't sleep without havin a few beers.


I think I am going to see a counsellor this week. Maybe you should do the same!

I am worried about finding someone new as this was true love.

I hope above helps you are not alone this happens, life has up's and downs this is how life is.


S

Can you link to the blog so we can better advise?

Lorna123

cambo2008 wrote: »

Have to totally disagree with that.
Her way of saying???sorry but I don't buy that at all,why not just..........say.

I can't speak for anybody else but the last thing I would be doing after finding out my wife was cheating would be pampering her.

I can fully understand why you would want to say that Cambo2008 because it would be a normal reaction, but I have first hand experience of this kind of thing and while all cases are definitely not the same I know of a case where a woman was having an affair because she felt neglected by her husband. She only ever loved her husband and if he had at any stage pampered her or shown her his love the affair would never have happened. All this woman ever wanted was for her husband to show her the same attention as her lover. I was just suggesting this in case this might be the case with Sully. I didn't suggest it was her way of saying sorry, but her way of showing she was not happy with how things were going in the marriage. Not for one minute suggesting either that it is the right thing to do at all, there are better ways, but she just got the opportunity and she took it because she was feeling low at the time.

Wishing you well Sully and hope this matter gets resolved without too much pain.

Sully 79

Da Shins Kelly wrote: »

It seems strange that she'd do something like that. Kinda like she wanted to be caught or something. I think it would be best to simply end it and get out of there.

Hard very hard to end 8 years of my life knowing her. She is away this week for work so will go through Counselling and find the real reason behind this.

It was a private blog so, she has no idea that I would have access to it.
But she did give me access just ages ago.


I cannot forget what she has done, I will make sure the lad knows I know and wreck his head.

I will let her know next week on her return.


I have learnt very quickly being in a relationship has it's up's and downs but to betray trust can never be forgiven.

Sully 79

[Quote=Paddy Bateman;


S[/Quote]
Can you link to the blog so we can better advise?[/Quote]


No chance Paddy.

dixiefly

I know that if it was me there is no way I would let this go for another weekk. How can you even trust her when she is away this week?

Why dont you print it off and give it to her just before she goes? She deserves a shock impact. Your week wont be worth living if you havent confronted her (in my opinion anyway).

Sully 79

I can fully understand why you would want to say that Cambo2008 because it would be a normal reaction, but I have first hand experience of this kind of thing and while all cases are definitely not the same I know of a case where a woman was having an affair because she felt neglected by her husband. She only ever loved her husband and if he had at any stage pampered her or shown her his love the affair would never have happened. All this woman ever wanted was for her husband to show her the same attention as her lover. I was just suggesting this in case this might be the case with Sully. I didn't suggest it was her way of saying sorry, but her way of showing she was not happy with how things were going in the marriage. Not for one minute suggesting either that it is the right thing to do at all, there are better ways, but she just got the opportunity and she took it because she was feeling low at the time.

Wishing you well Sully and hope this matter gets resolved without too much pain.[/Quote]

Hi Lorna


Marriage is a bumpy road, my wife finds it boring and mondain! She want's passion everyday of the week not sure how other people relationship are but I doubt it happens daily.

Sully 79

dixiefly wrote: »

I know that if it was me there is no way I would let this go for another weekk. How can you even trust her when she is away this week?

Why dont you print it off and give it to her just before she goes? She deserves a shock impact. Your week wont be worth living if you havent confronted her (in my opinion anyway).

Yeah had thought about the shock impact, she may not board the plan. My week will be spent sending the other bloke extracts of blog and wrecking his head!!!!

I think he will let her know the game is up!

And it will all be out next Sunday.

Thanks for advice

Paddy Bateman

Sully 79 wrote: »

dixiefly wrote: »

I know that if it was me there is no way I would let this go for another weekk. How can you even trust her when she is away this week?

Why dont you print it off and give it to her just before she goes? She deserves a shock impact. Your week wont be worth living if you havent confronted her (in my opinion anyway).

Yeah had thought about the shock impact, she may not board the plan. My week will be spent sending the other bloke extracts of blog and wrecking his head!!!!

I think he will let her know the game is up!

And it will all be out next Sunday.

Thanks for advice

You should keep your dignity at least

Sully 79

Paddy Bateman wrote: »

Sully 79 wrote: »

dixiefly wrote: »

I know that if it was me there is no way I would let this go for another weekk. How can you even trust her when she is away this week?

Why dont you print it off and give it to her just before she goes? She deserves a shock impact. Your week wont be worth living if you havent confronted her (in my opinion anyway).

Yeah had thought about the shock impact, she may not board the plan. My week will be spent sending the other bloke extracts of blog and wrecking his head!!!!

I think he will let her know the game is up!

And it will all be out next Sunday.

Thanks for advice

You should keep your dignity at least

Meaning!

Ickle Magoo

Paddy Bateman infracted.

As per the forum charter, there is zero tolerance for muppetry on this forum.

Either offer civil, mature and constructive advice on whatever information the OP has offered, refrain from posting or lose your posting rights to the forum.

Please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter and abide by them.

If any poster has an issue with a post or poster then please use the report function and let the moderators deal with them rather than allow them to drag the thread off-topic.

Many thanks

Chinafoot

Sully 79 wrote: »

Meaning!

Whats the point in directing your anger at this other bloke. Your wife is the one who betrayed you. Focus on her.

Playing stupid games with this other man will achieve nothing.

I am a friend

Chinafoot wrote: »

Whats the point in directing your anger at this other bloke. Your wife is the one who betrayed you. Focus on her.

Playing stupid games with this other man will achieve nothing.

Exactly!!! Your wife is the one who should be loyal to you. Don't degrade yourself by contacting the other guy.

Sully 79

Chinafoot wrote: »

Sully 79 wrote: »

Meaning!

Whats the point in directing your anger at this other bloke. Your wife is the one who betrayed you. Focus on her.

Playing stupid games with this other man will achieve nothing.

I know just hurting at the moment and it has just happened. I don't see why he should get away scot free. I think he has done this many times before. He has a wife and kids.

I am a friend

Sully 79 wrote: »

I know just hurting at the moment and it has just happened. I don't see why he should get away scot free. I think he has done this many times before. He has a wife and kids.

My heart goes out to you and I would recommend you sort out your own house before going after him. If your wife gets a tip off then she can prepare answers for you rather than having to talk off the hoof when confronted by you face to face.

Tell his wife once you are sorted.

Paddy Bateman

I am a friend wrote: »

Chinafoot wrote: »

Whats the point in directing your anger at this other bloke. Your wife is the one who betrayed you. Focus on her.

Playing stupid games with this other man will achieve nothing.

Exactly!!! Your wife is the one who should be loyal to you. Don't degrade yourself by contacting the other guy.

This is my point exactly

Sully 79

I am a friend wrote: »

Sully 79 wrote: »

I know just hurting at the moment and it has just happened. I don't see why he should get away scot free. I think he has done this many times before. He has a wife and kids.

My heart goes out to you and I would recommend you sort out your own house before going after him. If your wife gets a tip off then she can prepare answers for you rather than having to talk off the hoof when confronted by you face to face.

Tell his wife once you are sorted.

Good point, I will weigh this up.

Thank you

I am a friend

Sully 79 wrote: »

Good point, I will weigh this up.

Thank you

Yep don't do anything rash and make sure you print out that blog for reference.

Taltos

Paddy Bateman - if you have not already read our charter do so immediately. Continued posts in this style will just result in a ban.

Regards
Taltos

Sully 79

I am numb !

Payton

Ok if she is having the affair why in gods name would she put it up on a blog??, As said before print everything off. Put it too her and send her on her way. She finds married life "Boring and mondain" thats her issue, the main focus has to be you from here on in. If the shoe was on the other foot would she be as placid about it? IMHO your marriage is gone, if she carries on like that it shows the respect she has for both you and the kids.

Go counselling, and get it out of your system, you must be going through hell.

Back up everything you can/have as proof and show her,the sooner the better.

Find a good friend and family member to confide in, they can be a life saver.

Talk to a good Family Solicitor and get some legal advice on where you stand.

Look after yourself, eat well, stay off the booze, keep occupied, stay calm.

Start planning your life with the kids without her, she seems like a lost cause.
What she has done is totally disrespectful to you and to post it up on the web is way off the tracks.
Dont even bother wasting your time and energy with the other guy....put YOUR time and energy into getting yourself back on track.
Best of luck.

dixiefly

Does the OP and wife have kids? I dont recall him indicating that.

I wouldnt waste time on the other guy but I woud certainly let his wife know especially as the OP indicated that he has had previous. It is up to her to decide how she deals with it.

ihsb

I personally would mention it to her before she leaves. Tell her you know. This means that you won't be stewing while she is off on a work thing. It might give you two enough time to calm down before seeing each other again and deciding what you are going to do.

I feel for you OP, this is a horrid position to be in. I would deal with your relationship before going into the guys marriage.

Lorna123

This is a terrible hurt Sully, but you are only married 5 years. It is not the end just yet. Your wife made a big mistake and while she may not realize it yet she will. This affair will not last, you mark my words. She is being used by this married man and while she may think she is everything to him she is only another notch on his bedpost. He will never persue anything with her as he is already tied up with his wife and children. She will soon realize your worth and I hope that it won't be too late for you to forgive her. I know it is a very hard thing to do but weigh up what is most important to you. I am pretty sure that your wife will rue the day she had this affair and she will be begging for your forgiveness. If she is what you want man, then don't feel that you have to reject her for this, we all have our weaknesses. I firmly believe that this can be worked out, it is not the end. If only you knew how many marriages go through this and come up smelling like roses. This is all new to you and you feel like it is the end of your world. It is not the worst thing that can happen. I feel that your wife will come crawling back to you, just hang on in there. I agree it is horrible while it is going on but infedility is not as bad as falling out of love and I believe your wife still loves you.

Payton

Lorna123 wrote: »

This is a terrible hurt Sully, but you are only married 5 years. It is not the end just yet. Your wife made a big mistake and while she may not realize it yet she will. This affair will not last, you mark my words. She is being used by this married man and while she may think she is everything to him she is only another notch on his bedpost. He will never persue anything with her as he is already tied up with his wife and children. She will soon realize your worth and I hope that it won't be too late for you to forgive her. I know it is a very hard thing to do but weigh up what is most important to you. I am pretty sure that your wife will rue the day she had this affair and she will be begging for your forgiveness. If she is what you want man, then don't feel that you have to reject her for this, we all have our weaknesses. I firmly believe that this can be worked out, it is not the end. If only you knew how many marriages go through this and come up smelling like roses. This is all new to you and you feel like it is the end of your world. It is not the worst thing that can happen. I feel that your wife will come crawling back to you, just hang on in there. I agree it is horrible while it is going on but infedility is not as bad as falling out of love and I believe your wife still loves you.

Are you for real? SHE chose to have the affair, SHE chose to continue it on....she didnt forget she was married, or that she had a home to go too. And she certainly didnt forget about it all when she posted it up on a blog. How does she love him when she carries on like the way she does? its disrepectful to do to anyone....if she wants to carry on like that, well have the guts to tell him the marriage is over and walk away. But dont hurt people on the journey that you chose.

Lorna123

on the verge wrote: »

Are you for real? SHE chose to have the affair, SHE chose to continue it on....she didnt forget she was married, or that she had a home to go too. And she certainly didnt forget about it all when she posted it up on a blog. How does she love him when she carries on like the way she does? its disrepectful to do to anyone....if she wants to carry on like that, well have the guts to tell him the marriage is over and walk away. But dont hurt people on the journey that you chose.

Life is not all black and white On the Verge, and it is not as easy as just saying that the marriage is over. This woman has just embarked on an affair and in my opinion she doesn't realize what she is doing but will come to her senses pretty soon. I don't believe that the marriage should be over just because of this. There were issues on both sides. I agree it is very hurtful for Sully but if this woman wants him back and he is prepared to forgive her I fully believe it can work out. We all make mistakes and I believe that this woman has made a big mistake. I would not throw it all away if I were Sully, wait and see and don't make a hasty decision. It is possible to love someone and still participate in an affair with someone else, men have done it for years. It is nothing new.

Sully 79

It is possible to love someone and still participate in an affair with someone else, men have done it for years. It is nothing new.

Go jump this is absurd !!! I am hurting and you come out with a comment that she can have her cake and eat it!!!! Muppet!

Payton

I dont want to get off the topic, This is not a one night stand issue....she continued it on and then posted it!!. Yes we all make mistakes but its how we fix those mistakes that makes us who we are.
Of course there are issues on both sides but there are no reasons to treat someone like that, Im sorry but thats how I feel about that.
And women havent done anything like this before?
Morally there is no excuse for having an affair, either your married or not. simple as that. If you want out SAY it and walk away.
Love is not a light switch, you cant just switch it off.

Lorna123

Sully 79 wrote: »

It is possible to love someone and still participate in an affair with someone else, men have done it for years. It is nothing new.

Go jump this is absurd !!! I am hurting and you come out with a comment that she can have her cake and eat it!!!! Muppet!

No, Sully, I am not insinuating that your wife can continue to have an affair and expect you to be there for her too, all I am saying is that she made a mistake and will realize this very soon. If you feel that you cannot forgive her, and this is understandable too, then what you must do is simple, throw her out and forget about her. Funny, I don't think you want to do that though, maybe I am wrong.

Yes, I agree men and women all have had affairs over the years, there is nothing new in any of that. Some people can forgive and forget but others cannot. If you want to spend the rest of your life without this women then all you have to do is let her go. Simple as that. If you would like to salvage your marriage all I am saying is that infedility is not the end of the world. If your wife came to you and said she didn't love you anymore I feel that your problem would be bigger.

However, I am not you and I cannot speak for you. I really wish you the best in coming to terms with all of this.

Sully, I fully appreciate how awful this is for you and it is one of the most difficult situations to be in, but it is not a time to think about how you might get revenge, more a time to ask yourself how you might be able to go forward in this marriage, if there is a future in it. If you feel there is no future in it then you know what to do. It is still a hard thing to do and I am not making light of it. I just feel that if you want to continue on in the marriage that you are not losing face by doing that. One fling should not a divorce make.

You, of course, know more about your marriage than any of us do and I am sure we do not know the full story. You are the only one who can decide what is best for you. My intention was to try and let you see that there is another side to all of this, besides the obvious. I just wish you the best of luck with it all.

Sully 79

I am a friend wrote: »

Sully 79 wrote: »

Good point, I will weigh this up.

Thank you

Yep don't do anything rash and make sure you print out that blog for reference.

Already have thanks for advice

Sully 79

Wake up fuzzy head wish this was just a bad dream

Abi

Sully, I'll just ask in the vaguest hope that it's true.. but is there any chance that this didn't actually happen? I mean, could she have just been a bit bored, and fantasized about this? I'd love to think she was just trying her hand at some creative writing or something daft. You seem like a good man, and so broken up over all of this. It just seems.. I dunno, far fetched that she'd blog about her actually having an affair =/


If it's not the above, as others have said, don't put it off any longer - confront her.

squonk

That's an interesting point. Sully, have you any other proof besides the blog? By my understanding the Blog isn't public so it's more like her private 'diary' with thoughts and ideas etc?

One thing I would say is that if the above is true, you would think that the act of writing about her affair would, in some way, focus her mind on what she was doing. Would you think that she has to some extent? Are there further indications from her blog now that she regrets what she did?

I suppose you can only really judge by confronting her about this. You'd have to see how she handles it and you know her so only you could really judge. It's not a nice position to be in however and I feel sorry for you.

I gather from your mails that it sounds like a once off thing so far. It might be worth looking at the aftermath. In the end, only you two can decide what needs to come out of this. That will mean both of you earnestly committing to relationship counselling and working hard to repair your mutual trust and ultimately your relationship. Do let her know you know and take some time to come to terms with all of this. Get some sleep and lay off the drink. Create a bit of distance and come to a point where you have a feeling for what you want and move to the next stage. Then is the time to take the issue back up with her. She has transgressed so she certainly can't complain about your distance for a short while. Right now you need to look after yourself. finally, get a good friend to confide in. We all need them from time to time.

Finally, she's sleeping in the spare room, her choice or yours? Definitely get some rest and look after yourself.

Sully 79

Abi wrote: »

Sully, I'll just ask in the vaguest hope that it's true.. but is there any chance that this didn't actually happen? I mean, could she have just been a bit bored, and fantasized about this? I'd love to think she was just trying her hand at some creative writing or something daft. You seem like a good man, and so broken up over all of this. It just seems.. I dunno, far fetched that she'd blog about her actually having an affair =/


If it's not the above, as others have said, don't put it off any longer - confront her.

Ok I know blogs can be public or private, her blog is private like a diary but you can let others access it.
The details in the blog details how they met, both of them made reference to there meeting. Also detailed bedroom talk that I will not disclose.

So when I say I am 100% sure this happened, it's real and hurts like hell.


She is away on a trip with work I told her we will talk on her return.
Before people read to much into her trip I was due to go also, but have decided to take the time to think everything through.

Sully 79

squonk wrote: »

That's an interesting point. Sully, have you any other proof besides the blog? By my understanding the Blog isn't public so it's more like her private 'diary' with thoughts and ideas etc?

One thing I would say is that if the above is true, you would think that the act of writing about her affair would, in some way, focus her mind on what she was doing. Would you think that she has to some extent? Are there further indications from her blog now that she regrets what she did?

I suppose you can only really judge by confronting her about this. You'd have to see how she handles it and you know her so only you could really judge. It's not a nice position to be in however and I feel sorry for you.

I gather from your mails that it sounds like a once off thing so far. It might be worth looking at the aftermath. In the end, only you two can decide what needs to come out of this. That will mean both of you earnestly committing to relationship counselling and working hard to repair your mutual trust and ultimately your relationship. Do let her know you know and take some time to come to terms with all of this. Get some sleep and lay off the drink. Create a bit of distance and come to a point where you have a feeling for what you want and move to the next stage. Then is the time to take the issue back up with her. She has transgressed so she certainly can't complain about your distance for a short while. Right now you need to look after yourself. finally, get a good friend to confide in. We all need them from time to time.

Finally, she's sleeping in the spare room, her choice or yours? Definitely get some rest and look after yourself.

No other proof then blog.

Would you think that she has to some extent?
Not when she still wants to contact him. She does not feel guilty about what she has done.

She decided to move out of bedroom.

Thank you for above it is probably what I will do. I need the time and distance to look after me and then see what happens.

WhyGoBald

OP, just to get this straight, you "happened across" this blog that you say your wife had given you access to before, but she somehow forgot about this and put explicit details about an affair, as well as pictures that could identify her?

The details in the blog details how they met, both of them made reference to there meeting

Do you mean the party to the affair was commenting on the blog? Because none of this sounds as if your wife was trying to maintain any privacy whatsoever.

No other proof then blog.

So she was only being incredibly reckless online?

I'm sorry, OP, there's something incredibly off about all this. I think maybe you're being had.

Sully 79

WhyGoBald wrote: »

OP, just to get this straight, you "happened across" this blog that you say your wife had given you access to before, but she somehow forgot about this and put explicit details about an affair, as well as pictures that could identify her?


Yes pictures of both.

The details in the blog details how they met, both of them made reference to there meeting

Do you mean the party to the affair was commenting on the blog? Because none of this sounds as if your wife was trying to maintain any privacy whatsoever.

Yes

No other proof then blog.

So she was only being incredibly reckless online?

Yes

I'm sorry, OP, there's something incredibly off about all this. I think maybe you're being had.

Not being had at all, really wish I was.

Abi

Okay, I was just exploring the notion that it may have been something she was fantasizing about, fancied herself as the next erotic writer or what have you.


The fact that she's moved out of the bedroom speaks volumes, and the fact that she doesn't seem apologetic for what has happened. Shes had some kind of an 'awakening' and you're now surplus to needs if she won't even share a bed with you. I'm sorry to put it like that, but shes selfishly thrown caution to the wind, disrespected your wedding vows and abused your trust.

It's time to take action Sully. I don't know if this is something you could forgive her for and move on, but it certainly wouldn't be me. As soon as she gets back, I'd be giving her the red card, and when she asks why have one copy of that blog in your back pocket for yourself and then give her hers.

I understand your anger at this other man, but please rethink doing anything rash, as there are children involved. I think anyone put in this position would be thinking they way you are, but the reason why you want to do this is to punish him, when in reality this effects more than him. You could contact him and tell him to stay away from your wife or you'll spill the beans on him to his wife.

If you ask me, your wife is an extremely selfish person, and has thrown your love, loyalty, and respect in your face to satisfy her own selfish needs. Rather than seek counseling with you to get over your problems, she chose smugly have an affair and insult you further by leaving the marital bed. By doing this, she's opted out of the marriage already, thinking she has some kind of a future with this man?

You start seeking advice asap about your rights and the next step you should make, and be ready for this silly, selfish woman when she returns.

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sbsquarepants

Lorna123 wrote: »

I am sorry to hear that you find yourself in this situation today. It must be very upsetting. I know it must be very hard to have to think about her with someone else, but just because she ended up in bed with this man does not mean she doesn't love you.

Don't despair, your marriage can still work out, if you want it to. Your wife felt neglected, and she took steps to try and feel appreciated. You can bet your bottom dollar that this affair will fizzle out sooner rather than later. Just try and give her all the attention you can right now, I know this might be hard, but say nothing about knowing what you know yet. Sometimes when a woman has an affair it is just a cry for help. It could be her way of saying that she is looking for more from you so if you would like to save your marriage pull out all the stops, pamper her, and see if that will bring results.

All I am saying is that it is not the end, there are still options open to you if you feel you can try them before giving up. Who knows, she may have been having sex with this other man but she might prefer if it had been you.

Best of Luck.

I have seen some A grade examples of people talking out of their arses, but his has got to take the biscuit!
OP your wife is sleeping with someone else and boasting about it online - it's not a cry for help, she's just a tramp!
You need to off load her pronto, nobody is worth putting up with shít like that for. Don't under any circumstances "pamper her and see if that will bring results". Jesus christ!!!
She's away with work now, have her bags or your bags packed and ready to go when she get's back. It's a kick in the balls, no doubting that and you're in for some miserable times untill it all settles down, but you can keep your head held high and your conscience is clear. In time you'll understand what that's worth, it's priceless in the long run.
She's just no good, you need to move on. The sooner and cleaner you do it, the easier it will be for you. You need to look out for yourself now, your "wife" certainly isn't going to do that for you!
Best of luck