feed yo man

we'llallhavetea_old

o/

so its come to light that my friends think i am odd. they think i'm odd because i like to cook for my boyfriend.
he can't cook (proper food!) so i cook everything when we're together. i also cook him food on a sunday for him to bring home so he can have proper meals for two days during the week.
i actually get a bit horned up when he tells me how good the food was (i'm laughing now :P)
he once said that he'd love to take cookery classes and learn how to cook for himself, i nearly died, sure thats my job?! :eek:
i also like cleaning up his apartment for him, ironing, generally fussing over him etc

am i alone in this? surely there are wimminz out there who love cooking and cleaning for their man?!

Silverfish

Well, I'm a terrible cook. Terrible.

My OH is like.... Heston Blumenthal. Or that French guy. He's absolutely brilliant, and had a food blog and all for a while. So he does all the cooking, all the time, for Health and Safety reasons.

Cleaning.... not so much! I do most of that. If you're the better cook and you love doing it, it'd be a waste for someone who can't cook making food and neither of ye enjoying it. (Like that time I made the noodles)

ElleEm

I'm exactly like you with cooking, OP.
If I am out for the day or night, my boyfriend won't cook for himself or he'll just eat chocolate.
I do all the cooking as I love it. He's a grand cook, but it would take him four hours to get a basic dinner ready cos he can't multitask!!
There is something so satisfying about making your man happy through feeding him !

Ickle Magoo

We can both cook - and clean...and I certainly wouldn't get any kind of enjoyment or satisfaction out of mammying him and cleaning his spaces/messes...I'd find that a complete turn off tbh.

I enjoy cooking though - not just for him but in general, while he is a functional cook so I do the majority of the cooking and we split the chores. Works for us.

Scarinae

My boyfriend is a much better cook than me; he can take random leftover ingredients and make an amazing dinner, which is a skill I don't have. He stayed with us for a week and a half last May, it was lovely having dinner on the table when I got in from work

However, I am the superior baker!

Eviledna

I'm a total feeder. I do the majority of the cooking, even though my oh is a great cook. I just enjoy it, both cooking and the joy of making him his favourite food. He had a downright awful day today so I made him lasagne and a cheer-up pan of brownies. Putting a smile on his face for a brief time just cheered me up. I do it for the joy of giving and for the fact he never ever takes it for granted.

But with cleaning we take turns, or play chicken with how long we leave the dishes

MissFlitworth

I do all of the cooking because I enjoy cooking & I'm better at it than him (just plain stresses him out) but I can barely clean up after myself & I iron about 3 times a year so nope, definitely do not get a loved up high from cleaning for him. You're not weird for enjoying that though, lots of people get a real buzz out of looking after people they love.

saa

My fella won't cook, clean or learn how to drive.

I blame his typical Irish Mammy *scorn*

bronte

I'm not a major cooking fan, but it's 50/50.
I do enjoy cooking/baking for others in a way because if they know me they know I hate it so it means even more to them that I did it.
I don't know...they seem to appreciate it more or something.
Definitely would be turned off by having to "mammy" himself but if he's ill I go into overdrive and fuss like crazy.

Storminateacup

LOL

Yeah, if he was waiting for me to cook for him he'd be a skinny dead boy.

Links234

I love to cook for my girlfriend, but she often cooks for me too.

I can't really imagine cleaning or anything like that for her though. It just strikes me as odd. I just don't get why a lot of guys don't seem to know how to cook or clear or otherwise look after themselves. Do they not think these things are valuable life skills to have?

jam_mac_jam

we both cook a lot, who ever cooks the other cleans up. General housework I do a bit more but not really that much. I have enough work to do looking after myself without somebody else. I honestly couldnt imagine me doing everything because I am female, I am sorry I think its a little strange to enjoy cleaning up after their man. Cooking I can understand and how you would want to cook for somebody else, but cleaning because he is a man? But if you like it and it makes you both happy, why the hell not?

Bubblefett

My OH is an amazing cook and for the first few years we were going out he did all the cooking (except on our first date! I made tacos, odviously trying to impress him )
When I moved out of my parents house I had to learn to cook and now I make most of the meals for us. I actually enjoy it and he always cooks whenever I'm tired or not in the mood.

Dolbert

I really enjoy cooking, he doesn't and finds it a bit stressful (which might be not be helped by my getting a bit antsy if he isn't cooking something the 'right' way :eek:) He's chief washer-upper so it's all good!

borderlinemeath

If it's a proper meal I do the cooking, he can't seem to master more than one pot at a time but if it's something quick and simple like scrambled eggs or a fry up (all in the one pan) he's alright.

As for cleaning, I try and get away with as little as possible and let him do as much as possible! But I have done all the laundry since the first year we moved in together when I came home to find all my dry cleaning (that I kept in a separate hamper) all hung out and destroyed by himself trying to be helpful:o

Babybuff

no but I'll make a cup of tea for most people at a push. Been a mammy for far too long and been doing things for other people since I can remember. I want to win the lotto so I can hire a cleaner. Not too bothered about food, I can do that as since daughter is beyond the age of having to live here fulltime I only eat when I want to. It's difficult getting used to this kind of freedom..imagine..being able to eat when I want to.

So eh..no I think.

sarahbro

I cook a lot but when I'm working late or at the weekend, himself will cook.
He's a far better cook than he gives himself credit for!

Stheno

My OH can't cook, he tried to cook me dinner once in the very early days of our going out, it was all jars and suchlike.

I like cooking, and due to our schedules I get up two hours earlier than he does.

He gets breakfast in bed most weekdays unless I am working from home, his lunch is usually made for him and I text him a reminder to eat (he'll forget to otherwise) then I usually make dinner or if we are lazy we head out.

I enjoy it tbh, it's fun, breakfast in bed makes up for him being woken up by the noise my hairdryer makes, he eats during the day if lunch is there, and we spend time together eating dinner

hattoncracker

I love cooking and going laundry for my boyfriend.. he's a good cook, but I enjoy it too much to let him!

chickenbutt

I enjoy cooking and baking anyway so I think my boyfriend is quite happy to be the taste-tester when I try out new recipes I get a kick out of seeing him enjoy whatever I make. He does take over though when I'm too tired or busy. AND he always washes the dishes even though I offer to every time! But more often than not we end up making things together so it's really nice (I have to chop the onions, though.. he cries like a baby when they're around! :pac:)

The Big Red Button

My last serious boyfriend was a bit of a mammys boy. He was very independent in many ways, but he still lived (lives!) at home, his mammy did all the washing and cooking and cleaning, and literally poured out his cereal for him every morning. :eek:

To be fair, when we lived together (briefly!) he adapted pretty well, did his share of all the housework and cooking etc, although there was the odd row over it!

In general, though, while I enjoy cooking for anyone and am perfectly happy to do it, I wouldn't take any enjoyment out of "minding" someone. I wouldn't get involved with anyone now unless they were fully independent and able to look after themselves.

And, oh my God, it would completely piss me off big time if a boyfriend decided to go cleaning MY apartment! And I would never do it to someone I was seeing either! I guess I'd see it as an invasion of privacy. If I was seeing someone and their place was so dirty that it actually bothered me, then I'd certainly mention it to them, but there is no way in hell I'd go cleaning it myself!!

And it absolutely kills me when I have to iron for myself, let alone doing it for someone else!!

Das Kitty

When I was younger I definitely enjoyed spoiling him and cooking him dinners. I never enjoyed cleaning up for him though!

Nowadays I still enjoy cooking, but doing it everyday is a total bore. I actually half considered getting a maid last year to clean up and cook us meals!

I've totally changed my views on showing people I love them through food in the past year as well, so no one gets chocolate brought home from town to them anymore!

we'llallhavetea_old

the thing is, I hate cleaning and ironing for myself, and he is more than capable of doing these things, but I love doing them for him and he loves having them done!

lazygal

I love to cook. I really enjoy the process and the end result. I also love seeing people enjoy my food. I do make a conscious effort to make healthy, balanced meals. One thing that wrecks my head about his cooking is that even the simplest stir fry that I'd have done from scratch (no packet sauces in our house!) in 15 minutes takes him ages, and he needs to use every knife, chopping board and utensil in the kitchen.

Das Kitty

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

the thing is, I hate cleaning and ironing for myself, and he is more than capable of doing these things, but I love doing them for him and he loves having them done!

I used to be like that, he got some shock when that changed!

SarahBeep!

Men ironing is sexy tbh.

we'llallhavetea_old

Das Kitty wrote: »

I used to be like that, he got some shock when that changed!

thats the thing, even if i get sick of it, i'm programmed to do it, i just know i am. i look at it as my job! when he washes the dishes i feel like a feckin criminal, can barely look at him and always say "ah no, you dont have to do them" (he still does them though!)

Triangla

I enjoy cooking and ironing for the missus.

Cooking is great hobby and ironing in front of TV is dead easy. She takes the out of me as I like things ironed really well so she's convinced I only iron as I don't think she can do it as well as me.

I iron for the week ahead while she chills on the couch on Sunday afternoons. Very relaxing!

Das Kitty

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

thats the thing, even if i get sick of it, i'm programmed to do it, i just know i am. i look at it as my job! when he washes the dishes i feel like a feckin criminal, can barely look at him and always say "ah no, you dont have to do them" (he still does them though!)

That's how I used to feel as well, my Mam did everything in our house from DIY to washing nappies to car maintenance. I took over everything in my own home too. But then came the baby and the nervous breakdown! :pac:

We share the chores now and I think we're both much happier for it, apparently he used to feel like he was of no use to me.

we'llallhavetea_old

Das Kitty wrote: »

That's how I used to feel as well, my Mam did everything in our house from DIY to washing nappies to car maintenance. I took over everything in my own home too. But then came the baby and the nervous breakdown! :pac:

We share the chores now and I think we're both much happier for it, apparently he used to feel like he was of no use to me.

it's weird, my mam cooked mostly but my dad cooked too, ma cleaned, he did DIY, the cars etc. so I dunno really where it's come from.
I have a seven yr old daughter and my baby making days are over!
I dunno, we'll see what happens, maybe One day I'll break a pan over his head :P

Malari

I cook because I love it. He can cook in that neither of us would go hungry if I was suddenly unable to be in the kitchen, but god would it be boring! He just doesn't have any imagination and lacks the flair to create anything other than fuel. And he doesn't enjoy it. It's the difference between him looking through the fridge and cupboards and saying "there's nothing to eat" and me looking at the same stuff and thinking of about 3 different dishes I could make up. :pac:

As for cleaning, it's split fairly evenly according to what we don't mind doing, or are good at. I actually like ironing and tidying and putting stuff away. He prefers to do the dishes, all DIY, car maintenance. We don't think of it as doing jobs for each other.

Eviledna

SarahBeep! wrote: »

Men ironing is sexy tbh.

Yes! Great idea. Ok everyone let's spread this like wildfire so it catches on, and we'll never have to iron again :P

it's ok love, I'll starch that for you...*swoon*

Stench Blossoms

I'm a total feeder.

I don't like anyone else making food for me. I've got some intolerances so like to know exactly what's in my food.

If for some reason i'm going to be home late I leave the ingredients out and he'll cook.

He complains that I don't let him cook more but I don't think he *really* cares that much.

Caraville

I used to love making dinner for my ex, and although we didn't live together, I often would have done the odd job or chore for him and really enjoyed doing it because I knew he was grateful and also he didn't expect it or take it for granted-in fact he used to tell me there was no need but I genuinely liked helping him out whenever I could.

Doing things for your man is fine so long as you're choosing to do it, and not forced our guilted into it.

ToniTuddle

In the past no because hadn't a clue how to make anything other than a fry and didn't want to kill any of them :pac:
But in the last 2 years I've started to get better at the cooking and love doing it now! Some folks definitely think ye are being taking for a ride doing all the housework/cooking but sure as I see it you are hardly gonna cook yourself a meal and nothing for him. Isn't hard to throw on that bit more for two people. As for the housework well if you have the time and want too then why not.

Don't see what the problem is but some friends would say I'm mental to do that. Though they would think I'm extra mental if they ever found out I cook and clean up after my male friends too :D

One thing I couldn't stand for is a boyfriend who wouldn't at least want to attempt to try and get better at the cooking/cleaning for his own sake. Everyones gotta start somewhere and even if he burns the lot sure least he trying :pac:

mochamajesty

I love to cook. Not just the act itself, but I also enjoy giving someone the satisfaction of a good meal. I don't bake, though - at least not from scratch.

My BF is cleaner than I am - especially with cars. He happily does most of the cleaning; to him it's an even trade, as he won't go near the kitchen.

I have found that many of my friends (30s and older) can't cook. And most of them have children!

Seomra Mushie

OP, I love cooking for my boyfriend too. And he loves letting me. :pac: But it's not in a mammyish way, I just love cooking anyway, it's incredibly relaxing and it's as easy to cook for two people as one. I find cooking nice food for your loved ones very satisfying indeed. I dunno, I find it really intimate and rewarding cooking food from scratch to have with your other half. Sounds silly, I know, it's hard to explain.

Oh, and I ALSO send portions with him when he's leaving so he can have some decent dinners or at least a change from spag bol, the only thing he can cook.

Cleaning and ironing though? Fook that, I'm not his Mammy! I'll occasionally do some ironing for him if he's tight for time, and if I build up a lot of washing up myself at his place obviously I'll do it, but doing HIS ironing and cleaning for him? Hells no. He's actually quite a neat person though, so it's not an issue anyway.

Seomra Mushie

Links234 wrote: »

I can't really imagine cleaning or anything like that for her though. It just strikes me as odd. I just don't get why a lot of guys don't seem to know how to cook or clear or otherwise look after themselves. Do they not think these things are valuable life skills to have?

Well, from what I can gather, the people I've lived with throughout college (of both sexes) who couldn't cook and were incredibly messy were people whose parents never got them to do jobs around the house. The messiest girls I lived with were as bad as the messiest lads. I think it just comes down to upbringing a lot of the time, rather than sex. But in this country, it seems to be more prevalent in lads, they seem to have been Mammyed more, but a Mammyed female is every bit as a bad as a Mammyed male, IMO. And I think a lot of stereotypical Irish Mammys TM get their sons to do more outdoorsy jobs, so these guys then equate indoor stuff with women.

Fishie wrote: »

However, I am the superior baker!

You win! :pac: Will you be my girlfriend? I don't bat that way but for a baking woman, I'm flexible. :pac:

Das Kitty wrote: »

I've totally changed my views on showing people I love them through food in the past year as well, so no one gets chocolate brought home from town to them anymore!

Hmmm, you can show people you love them with food without it being unhealthy though. I have loads of yummy, healthy meals in my repertoire.

Dolbert

ToniTuddle wrote: »

Though they would think I'm extra mental if they ever found out I cook and clean up after my male friends too :D

Ah here, only the male friends? Don't tell me you're gonna be one of those Irish mammies who makes her daughters clean up after her sons? :pac:

IvyTheTerrible

I love to cook, so it's problem for me to cook all our meals and do the washing up. My fella CAN cook, but it's usually a once-a-month big extravaganza, not the daily run-of-the-mill stuff. Anyway, he does most of the other housework so it's grand. If it was up to me to clean the house, we'd be living in a tip. So it all balances out!

I'd feel very emasculated if someone insisted on cooking for me all the time. Maybe once or twice, just because it can be quite romantic, but you're not my mother and I can cook for myself. Hell, when I want to I can cook pretty damned well.

The Big Red Button

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

thats the thing, even if i get sick of it, i'm programmed to do it, i just know i am. i look at it as my job! when he washes the dishes i feel like a feckin criminal, can barely look at him and always say "ah no, you dont have to do them" (he still does them though!)

OK, I have to admit, no offence intended, but I just find it so strange that you see it as being your "job"

I'm certainly not some feminazi or anything, but I just can't see how, if there are two grown-ups there, one grown-up "should" do more than the other, just because of their gender? I mean, considering the thread title, that does seem to be what this is about?

Scarinae

Seomra Mushie wrote: »

You win! :pac: Will you be my girlfriend? I don't bat that way but for a baking woman, I'm flexible. :pac:

Honestly, if you're thinking of changing sides you'd be better off going for Acoshla! She's got some great cake pictures up on the main thread

Dudess

I like cooking for anyone but I certainly wouldn't clean for someone - I just clean because cleaning needs to be done, and would expect the same from others. I wouldn't expect it if they were really tired after a hard day's work and I wouldn't expect my mess to be cleaned up, but nor would I clean up theirs.

we'llallhavetea_old

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd feel very emasculated if someone insisted on cooking for me all the time. Maybe once or twice, just because it can be quite romantic, but you're not my mother and I can cook for myself. Hell, when I want to I can cook pretty damned well.

he says he loves it, so no emasculating goin on.

chatterpillar wrote: »

OK, I have to admit, no offence intended, but I just find it so strange that you see it as being your "job"

I'm certainly not some feminazi or anything, but I just can't see how, if there are two grown-ups there, one grown-up "should" do more than the other, just because of their gender? I mean, considering the thread title, that does seem to be what this is about?

well, i'm a female, going out with a male, just a selfish one sided thread tbh :P

i don't expect any woman to look on cooking/cleaning for their boyfriend as a job or that they have to do it, but I do. i dunno, old fashioned i guess. i get kicks out of it, i like being submissive and a "good little woman" (enter feminazis... )

my friends wouldn't cook and clean for their boyfriends and i dont think it one bit strange at all. its just me i guess.

Dudess

Enter feminazis? Bit unfair. If that's what you like, your business. I like being submissive in some ways too.

Das Kitty

Dudess wrote: »

Enter feminazis? But unfair. If that's what you like, your business. I like being submissive in some ways too.

Yup.

we'llallhavetea_old

Dudess wrote: »

Enter feminazis? But unfair. If that's what you like, your business. I like being submissive in some ways too.

ah come on now dudess "good little woman"? if i said that to my friend she'd bitch slap me :P it is what i like though, i know some women would find it offensive, but i'm not saying that all women should behave this way.

Das Kitty

we'llallhavetea wrote: »

ah come on now dudess "good little woman"? if i said that to my friend she'd bitch slap me :P

It's all about the context :pac:

Lia_lia

Whenever I've been going out with someone we rarely cook/clean for each other. I've never lived with a partner though, so I can't really say!

In first year of college I lived with a girl who made dinner for her boyfriend EVERY night. He lived just down the road and would always call over to get his dinner. I found it absolutely bizarre to be perfectly honest. Not once did he make dinner for himself and/or the girlfriend! I even asked him a few times could he cook at all (he was 19!!). He'd be like "Err, I can put pizza into the oven". If that were me I would feel so...helpless!

To be honest I'm embarrassed for anyone who can't cook at that age. When my parents were together they cooked equal amounts. My Mother is a chef, but my Dad is definitely a better cook. I am by no means an amazing cook but my Mother made sure to teach my brother and I how to cook when we were kids. My younger brother and sister who live with my Dad are wonderful cooks, and they are just young teenagers!

As for cleaning, it should be equal too I think. Whatever mess you make you clean up I guess!

we'llallhavetea_old

Das Kitty wrote: »

It's all about the context :pac:

lol, i mean if i even said i liked being "a good little woman" she'd tell me get a hold of myself :P