Gay Dating, Personal Dating Sites etc

paddyuibh

Ok Im a gay man and do sometimes look up and am a member of gay personal websites.

What I want to know is thou why o why ha aare you almost always going to come across some weird ad or person loooking for just a quick r**e.

Surly this doesnt go on as much with straigh couples does it? Like I know alot more of the times straight couples meet in the pub outdoors etc and relationships or whatever are formed from there. It just seems the gay dating out there is somewhat slezy or in the backround out there. (if that makes sence) I do come across some pretty weird adds on personal sites and that and do think surly straight couples dont write this kinda stuff or that when looking? well not to the degree Im on about like tbh most men are looking for the one thing? well it seems anyway from what I see on these sites...How coome its so different with other straight couples ok im not saying that sleeping around what not doesnt go on. but just seems the whole gay dating is kinda a slezy sex crawling place? surly if some of us gays went out the old fashioned way dates what not it wouldnt seem as bad ? I dont know im just saying from my point of view I have gay profiles and it seems that a majoriety of guys out there it just seems to them like a menu....You write what your looking for and you wait for guys to get back to you, it doesnt come across appealing to me as a gay man I know some if not alot of ye will have a different point of view on this :cool:

floggg

Its not because we're gay that we're sex obsessed, it's that we're men. A lot of straight men would love to have an equivalent to saunas I'm sure - an option for easy no strings sex.

baby and crumble

I always find it funny when these threads pop up "OMG men are all sex obsessed, women aren't like that..."

What utter rubbish. As Rachel Berry put it best- "You want to know a dirty little secret none of them will tell you? Girls want sex just as much as guys do".

I firmly believe that women are JUST as sex obsessed and horny as men. It's not about gender it's about being human. It's just that it's still not acceptable for a woman, in general company or amongst a lot of her friends to say "Jesus, I really really really want sex tonight. Like, really."

Slang_Tang

paddyuibh wrote: »

I do come across some pretty weird adds on personal sites and that and do think surly straight couples dont write this kinda stuff or that when looking? well not to the degree Im on about like tbh most men are looking for the one thing? well it seems anyway from what I see on these sites...How coome its so different with other straight couples ok im not saying that sleeping around what not doesnt go on. but just seems the whole gay dating is kinda a slezy sex crawling place? surly if some of us gays went out the old fashioned way dates what not it wouldnt seem as bad ? I dont know im just saying from my point of view I have gay profiles and it seems that a majoriety of guys out there it just seems to them like a menu....

If you use Gaydar, you get back what you put out. I say that all the time, but it's true. I met a long-term partner there. I know a few other people who have met partners there.

I think 80% of Irish gay men are on Gaydar (I read that statistic somewhere; it may be slightly off). So with that many men, of course there are going to be people just looking for sex. There are also bound to be people with lots of different sexual interests.

If you want to date, you can. Just be prepared to wade through a lot of shít before you find a diamond. It's always going to be that way, though, online or offline. Sure if it was easy, there would be no lonely singletons in the world.

My experience has been that straight men are just as bad. In fact, any straight male friends I've had have been more promiscuous than I am.

If you're looking to date online in Ireland, I'd suggest Gaydar, just because of the number of members. Mobile apps like Grindr tend to be just cruising. As far as I know, dating websites that are popular with straight people like match.ie or Plenty of Fish don't tend to have a lot of gay members, but I could be wrong.

Best of luck with it. Don't lose faith.

paddyuibh

Im not saying that this doesnt go on with woman im just saying its an all to common site to come across with men like ha I dont go onto womans dating site but im sure the comparrison compare to men when it comes to woman looking for dates arent anything compare to that to what men are looking for? Like are you going to go onto a straight personal site and see straight men look for woman for all those kinda same things you'd fine gay men looking for? or woman for that matter going on dating sites and stating looking for a man for a quick f**** later this afternoon into s&m etc ha ha what not....Im not blinded to the fact that it not only goes on with gay men (me being gay myself ) may I add.....But it seems more common and slezzeer amongst the gay dating community like thats 99.9% of us gay men want looking for..... with all the gay men out there and that why dont you see as many more happier couples to that compare to straight couples? ok facts that they may not be out what not......Im just saying its like all thats on mens agenda is just the 1 thing that all so common word :P

paddyuibh

I am on these kinda sites and no I wont give up hope I can honestly say I have came across a small amount of guys not just looking for the one thing......They to llike going for a point and seeing where it leads......I have stated well on the dating sites im on what im looking for but I dont think most people read them? Lads do sent random pics out of the blue asking for a quick meet and nude pic's what not.....like come on haha if I was straight lad and done that to a girl she'd probley go laugh it off with her girlie friends and think what a duchhh bag some guys out there must think way over there heads and all it is... is a click away at times to get somebody into the bed

jaffacakesyum

God I'm getting old...I found it REALLY hard to read the OP due to lack of paragraphs and poor spelling/grammar but I think I get what you're saying :pac:

Straight men are just as bad as gay men when it comes to online dating though believe me. My friend is on a straight dating site and she says the amount of men who send her sleazy messages and even pictures of their dicks. They're clearly just out looking for a shag and not dating.

So it can happen in both the straight and gay world!!

paddyuibh

:L sorry I dont look over my paragraphs after writing them and correct mistakes,
maybe Im wrong by thinking its only gay guys that act this way when looking for what they want but it just doesnt appeal to me.

And would like to actually talk to more guys that aren't out looking for the one thing and the way they go about advertising it :L

Hope didnt make much of a blunder writing this one

jaffacakesyum

Haha don't mind me I'm just being a nerd :cool:

It's not only guys too. I find it hard to find girls who want to date and not just mess you around/just want sex.

It's a hard life! lol

LegacyUser

I am on some dating sites and have met my partnee on gaydar.
You have to make it very clearn in your profile that you want more than a quickie.

I get guys who message me saying they are after the same thing.
It doesnt help living in Ireland as theres only a small pool of guys.
I prefer forgien guys anyway maybe look further afield.

baby and crumble

I think Ireland is an interesting place to look at in this context, because while we all, at least the younger generation, like to think we're very progressive around sex but in reality, most people subscribe to the whole idea of "men want to shag around, and can. Women who want to shag around are whores." I mean the amount of threads in PI that are from guys saying things like "my new girlfriend has loads of exes, I hate it, like, she's slept with 6 people!!!!!!!!"

If you look at sites in the States, there are a much bigger proportion of "casual contact f-f" adds than in Ireland. Ok, obviously, Ireland is tiny, so that's part of it.

Slang_Tang

keeponbeleiving wrote: »

I am on some dating sites and have met my partnee on gaydar.
You have to make it very clearn in your profile that you want more than a quickie.

Exactly. I think this pretty much sums up online dating for gay men.

Billyum

I think its a lot to do with the fact internet dating is so impersonal! If your strait its easy to go out to a pub or a club and meet someone, but for gay guys, for the most part, much of this type of interfacing happens online, where you can afford to be much more forward and say things you would never dream of saying in person, unless your and absolute f**king creep..........but from experience i do fear that the kind of crap that Gaydar and Manhunt has normalised may have caused it to become more acceptable in real social situations also, which is a shame and an a half:eek:...

If strait pepple had to depend more on the internet to find partners like gays do then they would be just as sleezy and weird....and most Gay men are looking for sex! BUT! just as many or even more strait men in night clubs etc are looking for the same thing so.....wer not necessarily more sleazy, its just our means of dating allows us to be

paddyuibh

Billyum wrote: »

I think its a lot to do with the fact internet dating is so impersonal! If your strait its easy to go out to a pub or a club and meet someone, but for gay guys, for the most part, much of this type of interfacing happens online, where you can afford to be much more forward and say things you would never dream of saying in person, unless your and absolute f**king creep..........but from experience i do fear that the kind of crap that Gaydar and Manhunt has normalised may have caused it to become more acceptable in real social situations also, which is a shame and an a half:eek:...

If strait pepple had to depend more on the internet to find partners like gays do then they would be just as sleezy and weird....and most Gay men are looking for sex! BUT! just as many or even more strait men in night clubs etc are looking for the same thing so.....wer not necessarily more sleazy, its just our means of dating allows us to be

Exactly what Im trying to come across as saying.

I might have caused bit of confusion writing it, Gay men do think its acceptable to write up that kinda info on gay sites like manhunt gaydar etc.

I just personally dont see straight men or woman search write up about themselves same way some majoriety of gay men do on these dating sites.

How guys can be blunt in what there looking for and that it's somewhat slezzy in my opinion, well im sure back when my old folks meet there was no going around asking for quick shag and f**k and what not I know with introduction of internet and all things have changed an all.

Maybe if more of us gay guys look eleswhere than likes of gaydar and that we might actually find a guy we'd like to do more with than a quick one

Sure everyones different I know :cool::P

Billyum

Fair enough the content of gay dating sites is probably a bit more risqué then strait sites but this! me thinks, is because whether gay or strait, men are generally less reticent in the beginning about what they actually want from dates or relationships, so when its two men involved then its more than likely going to get to the points a lot quicker, however, if gay men were more inclined to meet in real life social situations then this might be less likely to be the case...I would hope so at least, or dream so..

Anyway gaydar and manhunt etc are not total basket cases though, i mean from time to time you will meet nice guys on there, if your going to pick a rose then you will inevitably get a few pricks along the way..

NewsMeQuick

So, what sites can people recommend? I've had it with the free ones mentioned above, I have no intention of waking up alone in 20 years because I wasted my time on f**k sites. Is gayParship etc. any good? A lot of the recommended profiles aren't even in the same area of Ire and a few don't have pics...so I'm not sure if it's worth the money. I've tried a number of the more mainstream Irish ones for straights and gays but no luck really.

mackD

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

So, what sites can people recommend? I've had it with the free ones mentioned above, I have no intention of waking up alone in 20 years because I wasted my time on f**k sites. Is gayParship etc. any good? A lot of the recommended profiles aren't even in the same area of Ire and a few don't have pics...so I'm not sure if it's worth the money. I've tried a number of the more mainstream Irish ones for straights and gays but no luck really.

Plenty Of Fish seems to be quite popular now and I have a friend who met his boyfriend on it.
Personally, I've had no luck with it or any other dating sites. This is probably due to the fact that I find it excruciatingly tough to hold a lasting conversation on these things so I lose interest quickly. I find it much easier to chat away to a guy at a bar but that usually just leads to the one option of a one night stand.

NewsMeQuick

mackD wrote: »

Plenty Of Fish seems to be quite popular now and I have a friend who met his boyfriend on it.
Personally, I've had no luck with it or any other dating sites. This is probably due to the fact that I find it excruciatingly tough to hold a lasting conversation on these things so I lose interest quickly. I find it much easier to chat away to a guy at a bar but that usually just leads to the one option of a one night stand.

You mean your friend met his bf on gayParship? Nice...that could be worth a look. I just don't want to pay if there's only 7 guys in my area...but I could do worse. Fair play, you're good with chatting up front then. I am usually very quiet around people I don't know, it's hard to change. After a little time I relax but it's tough. Regarding online, I take it to meet for a coffee stage asap though. Yes I like to keep alcohol out of the equation...we just think with our bannanas at that stage...:eek:

mackD

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

You mean your friend met his bf on gayParship? Nice...that could be worth a look. I just don't want to pay if there's only 7 guys in my area...but I could do worse. Fair play, you're good with chatting up front then. I am usually very quiet around people I don't know, it's hard to change. After a little time I relax but it's tough. Regarding online, I take it to meet for a coffee stage asap though. Yes I like to keep alcohol out of the equation...we just think with our bannanas at that stage...:eek:

No not Parship but POF. It is a free app to download so I'd recommend looking there first rather than forking out money for other sites:)

Rick_

I have used Gaydar, LadsLads, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid and have not really had that many people message me looking a hook up because I have stated that in my description. As long as you have somewhere on your profile and your pic isn't you topless or of your bits and pieces, people by and large leave you alone then and you only get messages from guys looking dates and something more ( if you even get any messages at all... )

NewsMeQuick

Paddy C wrote: »

I have used Gaydar, LadsLads, Plenty of Fish, OK Cupid and have not really had that many people message me looking a hook up because I have stated that in my description. As long as you have somewhere on your profile and your pic isn't you topless or of your bits and pieces, people by and large leave you alone then and you only get messages from guys looking dates and something more ( if you even get any messages at all... )

I quite agree, say dating/relationship and only photos with clothes, it gives off a very different message to boxers pics. Well Plenty of Fish looks better than the others already, people seem to wear clothes lol.

JD93

Im kinda new to the scene like 2-3 years but Ive never had a real meeting off those sites. I turned up but he didnt, always delayed so I was surprised and delighted to discover that its easier meet guys my own age in Gibbos in Malahide............Dead easy. the good old fashioned way lol

NewsMeQuick

JD93 wrote: »

Im kinda new to the scene like 2-3 years but Ive never had a real meeting off those sites. I turned up but he didnt, always delayed so I was surprised and delighted to discover that its easier meet guys my own age in Gibbos in Malahide............Dead easy. the good old fashioned way lol

I know the place well! But how the f*** do you meet lads in a straight place? 90% really are straight...you're just good at finding the 10%? I really don't know how people do that. I keep my eyes to myself, some lads get really offended at a glance.

1ZRed

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

I know the place well! But how the f*** do you meet lads in a straight place? 90% really are straight...you're just good at finding the 10%? I really don't know how people do that. I keep my eyes to myself, some lads get really offended at a glance.

The percentage of gay guys might be 10% but bi and curious lads are a good bit higher, you just need to learn to suss it out.

If you were forced to do it you'd pick it up and learn what they might be up to fairly quickly.
If you feel they get offended tell them to feck off, they don't know you're gay unless you're really obvious about it.

cartell_best

1ZRed wrote: »

The percentage of gay guys might be 10% but bi and curious lads are a good bit higher, you just need to learn to suss it out.

If you were forced to do it you'd pick it up and learn what they might be up to fairly quickly.
If you feel they get offended tell them to feck off, they don't know you're gay unless you're really obvious about it.

ahhhhhhh

NewsMeQuick

1ZRed wrote: »

The percentage of gay guys might be 10% but bi and curious lads are a good bit higher, you just need to learn to suss it out.

If you were forced to do it you'd pick it up and learn what they might be up to fairly quickly.
If you feel they get offended tell them to feck off, they don't know you're gay unless you're really obvious about it.

To be honest, I'm not interested in bi or curious lads. I like gay guys and only those out. if many of those guys aren't out then I'm not missing anything.

I'm genuinely surprised. I've never been verbally abused but I've had enough innocent glances be returned with very aggressive looks to learn to keep my eyes to myself in straight places. how someone navigates that successfully really stuns me, I'd genuinely have to see it. I'm not good at telling one from the other either. this method just seems like fishing in shark waters for a little fish!

right now I'm interested in dating not fun, I'm 25 btw. if you can find a guy in a straight place easily then I'm truly confused about how things work now! if you only find a curious lad for fun there then I could probably understand how it's possible.

cartell_best

Does It make someone feel good to portray they know everything? but know little about anything? I have enough of "someone "thinking" they know the answer to life! I rubbed my finger across the Galaxy S screen, and do ya know what I'm hearing? "Beneath, a lot of people are beautiful" but some scare others, they carry on with what sounds like pure fear and hate.

1ZRed

NewsMeQuick wrote: »

To be honest, I don't mean offense to relevant lads but I'm not interested in bi or curious lads. I like gay guys and only those out. if many of those guys aren't out then I'm not missing anything.

I'm genuinely surprised. I've never been verbally abused but I've enough innocent glances be returned with very aggressive looks to learn to keep my eyes to myself in straight places. how someone navigates that successfully really stuns me, I'd genuinely have to see it. I'm not good at telling one from the other either. this method just seems like fishing in shark waters for a little fish!

right now I'm interested in dating not fun, I'm 25 btw. if you can find a guy in a straight place easily then I'm truly confused about how things work now! if you only find a curious lad for fun there then I could probably understand how it's possible.

I have met guys and I only go to the ordinary clubs/bars. In fairness if you've those parameters up things will be a lot more difficult but I've met quite a few lads out that were up for a laugh.

Thing is is just to be very mate-ish about it and just have a laugh, keep everything very subtle, easy going and learn from his behaviour what he's up for, and if I see something, I'll go for it. If they're not up for anything though, they're none the wiser as I've just been chatting to them and they think I'm straight.

It's not just for fun either and I've made a few mates from it, some gay, some bi. Many out, a few not.

I don't think you should be intimidated by non-scene clubs and bars because gay guys go there too, you just have to find the right approach in finding them. I've never had any negative experiences when a straight guy has copped I'm not exactly so straight, they've just laughed and said they're not interested that way and no bother.

I wouldn't bother about aggressive looks, fuk all of them would actually have the balls to do anything and you've done feck all wrong, eventually one lad could well give you a positive look back

cartell_best

OH Christ...I am really biting my tongue now........

1ZRed

cartell_best wrote: »

OH Christ...I am really biting my tongue now........

What do you want to say? Fire ahead, just say it clearly. I honesty can't understand half the stuff you post about

cartell_best

1ZRed wrote: »

What do you want to say? Fire ahead, just say it clearly. I honesty can't understand half the stuff you post about

Do you know something? I was almost there, publishing what I FELT like saying, but...nah, you're not worth it. You have an opinion on everything. (from what I gather from your posts), but intuition says you have limited or little experience in whatever! That in my books, is unacceptable.