This is a Dublin Airport announcement.

Freddy Smelly

i hate the way yer wan on sky news pronounces report... it sounds like she its talking thru her nose.

sdanseo

You should try working in the place. Did a summer contract there a few years back and I can still recite all the recorded announcements word for repetitive word.

crazygeryy

why cant they have a guy with a thick cavan accent doing the lift voice.
1st floor{insert thick cavan accent}
it would be loads of fun.imo

tbh

--Big Bong--

This is an important announcement. All passengers for flight <my flight> please be advised that mmadfalkdadflkjwerlkjsdf adkjd adfasdfkhkj werwerwer aadfasdflk mmmasdfasdf adsfsdfasdf immediately. Thank you.

Frank Black

Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Male announcer: Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone **** again.


[Later]
Male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.
Male announcer: It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

faceman

Have you ever had your name called out though in the airport?

"Would the following people please contact the courtesy desk: faceman; Sgt Smith and Garda Reilly"

It's unnerving...

gramar

'Would such and such please pick up a courtesy telephone'

What is a courtesy telephone? Is it a raffle where people are randomly given free phones?

Duiske

faceman wrote: »

Have you ever had your name called out though in the airport?

"Would the following people please contact the courtesy desk: faceman; Sgt Smith and Garda Reilly"

It's unnerving...

Its a fcuking hoot though if your name is Mike Hunt. :P

Chucken

faceman wrote: »

Have you ever had your name called out though in the airport?

"Would the following people please contact the courtesy desk: faceman; Sgt Smith and Garda Reilly"

It's unnerving...

I did. In Bulgaria :eek:

Would Ms xxx travelling to Dublin please approach the customer service rep.
I was petrified because a Bulgarian friend had put a bottle of local hooch in my luggage as we were checking in. I thought "thats it, Im goin to jail in Bulgaria":( (I know, I'm very innocent)

As it happened there were 2 Ms xxx's on the flight and it wasn't me they wanted.

The funniest part of it was that our friend ran ahead of us to"sort it"
I never found out what exactly he was going to do :cool:

Latchy

I remember sitting in the old upstairs restaurant section of Dublin Airport ( just inside the main entrance ) having a coffee ,relaxing and getting lost in my book while waiting for the familiar announcement '' would passengers travelling on the flight to Liverpool please make there way to gate 11 now '' ( as they used to do ) .

The problem was the announcement never came and it suddenly dawned on me ... I had better leg it pronto over to the far side of the departure lounge where they were just boarding .

The guy who was in charge of the Tannoy at Lansdowne road back in the 80/90s during important international football games used to come out with some cringe worth pre match rants like '' OK folks...lets give a big cheer for Jack and the lads ...blah blah blah and proceed to name each member of the Irish team while the players of both sides were having their pre match warm up . All you could think was '' please shut up ''

BrensBenz

Irritating = memorable and, at least the sound system at d'Airport can cope with speech. Recently, at a UK railway station, the announcer informed us that "uh ay ah uh ahaw ih owh uh eee buh ih ohn op ah Ih-awh". Every syllable was sung at A flat except the last one which was E, or, for rap fans, mee me meee me mee mee me meee me mee do. This "melody" seems to be mandatory for UK transport announcers and I wondered if they con tin ue with this ac cent on so cial occa sions.

Pherekydes

Arpa wrote: »

"Children should not be left unattended. Unattended children will be removed and may be....destroyed"

FYP

Kolido

Boombastic wrote: »

Standing outside departures smoking :rolleyes:

Go through security and then have your smoke in the smoking area

Where is the smoking area beyond security?

Chucken

Kolido wrote: »

Where is the smoking area beyond security?

At the Garden Terrace Bar.

Son Of A Vidic

I think any PA announcement needs to grab our attention and resonate with us. That's why I propose doing the announcment in a very loud, Jihadist style rant.

Latchy

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

I think any PA announcement needs to grab our attention and resonate with us. That's why I propose doing the announcment in a very loud, Jihadist style rant.

With some ''diddly eye '' music in the background ? .I endorse this proposal.

Son Of A Vidic

Latchy wrote: »

With some ''diddly eye '' music in the background ?

Provided by - The Dublin Airport Bar Martyrs Brigade.

TheLastMohican

Heathrow around 1990, over the onboard speakers: Will Mr **** ********* a passenger to Cork please make himself known to a flight attendant as this flight is for Dublin.

Was running late and the girl at the gate just paid a cursory glance to my ticket

crazygeryy

Duiske wrote: »

Its a fcuking hoot though if your name is Mike Hunt. :P

or hugh janus

smackyB

Gorilla Rising

They should get the woman from the 123.ie ad. Now that's a face for a tannoy.

Steve O

False 9 wrote: »

They should get the woman from the 123.ie ad. Now that's a face for a tannoy.

You can just tell the smile is unbelievably forced.