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Worst excuse i've ever used.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 308 ✭✭Welruc


    This thread reminds me of a joke:

    Guy rings up his boss saying "cant make it in today, im sick"
    Boss: "How sick are ya?"
    Guy: "Well im in bed with my sister how sick is that?"


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,584 ✭✭✭PCPhoto


    Pherekydes wrote: »
    My wife was having a few drinks with friends in my brother's pub and she mentioned that we were getting married and he said back to her "Ah, I'm working that night." He didn't even know the date.

    thats not really an excuse ...I say things like that !!

    (Note: I'm self-employed and until recently worked 7 days a week - so I was usually right ...I'd be working that day ...but could sometimes arrange cover for me to goto things, rarely went on holidays as it would cost too much to pay someone to cover me)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    I was dying of a hangover and I once told my boss I am sorry I can't make it, I am in Galway and my car broke down, yesterday.

    But this is also the best way I got caught. It was pre mobile and he said, well you have enough to deal with so give me the number of the phone you are on and I will ring you back on company expense and we will see what is happening.

    Errrr OK I will be in in an hour. He was sound but dead wide and I never really did things like that, so he just gave me a bollocking and that was that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 16,156 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    PCPhoto wrote: »
    thats not really an excuse ...I say things like that !!

    Surely you'd find out the date of a proposed wedding before refusing to go? Especially if it was your brother's?

    It was a rebuff, plain and simple, and the 'work' was the lamest possible excuse. He's changed his day off before to go to gigs.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    'The kids are exhausted'. I heard that one a few times over Christmas from parents who wanted to duck out early.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 295 ✭✭couldntthink


    I told my boss I couldn't come into work because a cow kicked me in the nuts. Didn't really care if he believed me or not, it was his last day.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 27,551 Mod ✭✭✭✭Posy


    subscriber wrote: »
    The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha
    That's not the crazy/wacky excuse I expected from the OP. That's pretty plausible. I was stuck in traffic in Fairview for half an hour last week when there was a pretty serious accident near the park. Nobody I know said 'A car crash causing the traffic to be backed up? That's CRAZY!'

    "Eh, I wasn't able to do it" was just my stock homework excuse. I could never be arsed coming up with anything else, just didn't care enough!


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    Wasn't mine, but a mate in college told the lecture (in-front of the class) that Damien and Shona (both in the class) were making so much noise in the bedroom next to his on Wednesday night that he slept in on Thursday and missed the bus to the field study. The lecturer could only laugh.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,721 ✭✭✭The J Stands for Jay


    "Sorry, I can't make it to work today because I despise my job."


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,464 ✭✭✭Celly Smunt


    My dog actually ate my homework once :(


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    I'm on the blob


  • Registered Users Posts: 479 ✭✭membersonly


    "That money was just resting in my account before I simply moved it on"

    ...after BIZARRE IRREGULARITIES were discovered in my accounts.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,137 ✭✭✭44leto


    Darling I have a headache.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    Slunk wrote: »
    Asked for a day off, was refused. Flight arrived five hours before i had to go to work (4am). Phoned and said it was delayed. They checked the arrivals and confronted me so i came clean. Told them i had been in Prague with a fellow work mate on a bender and am in an awful state so won't be seen me or my work mate today. Luckily the boss appreciated the honesty and said we'll deal with it the next day. Got a talking to and a note on my file. Was worth it.
    So using somethin that is easily checked was my downfall. Lesson learned

    Something tell me that you've learned the wrong lesson from this incident.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,194 ✭✭✭saa


    Had to hang up on someone because I was laughing
    I just said "the pot is boiling over"
    and hung up laughing.

    I think I pulled it off, come to think of it she never really calls me anymore,
    humm.. strange..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,299 ✭✭✭✭later12


    I have sisters who are twins. When they were about 13, X needed her passport replaced. Mum was in Cork with Y at the time and, since they were twins, got Y to pose for the photo and sign the application form.

    Only Y signed the wrong name on the passport form, and instead of signing her twin's name, signed her own instead.

    A very perplexed man from the passport office got in touch a few days later wondering why the child had signed her name as something completely different. "Oh, that's my other daughter's name", my mother lied "she must have got mixed up about her name".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭nicechick!


    later10 wrote: »
    I have sisters who are twins. When they were about 13, X needed her passport replaced. Mum was in Cork with Y at the time and, since they were twins, got Y to pose for the photo and sign the application form.

    Only Y signed the wrong name on the passport form, and instead of signing her twin's name, signed her own instead.

    A very perplexed man from the passport office got in touch a few days later wondering why the child had signed her name as something completely different. "Oh, that's my other daughter's name", my mother lied "she must have got mixed up about her name".

    Great being a twin :D myself and my sister had a shared drivers license and car insurance (we're identical) for years


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭nicechick!


    One of my team who only ever works weekends has come in looking for a weekend of for his 21st Birthday at least 3times this year!! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 413 ✭✭Seans_Username


    In 5th year one lad would usually be late for every morning class. He only lived about 200 meters from the school and always walked in.

    One day the teacher asked him why he was late and he just went "uhh...traffic"


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,643 ✭✭✭Father Damo


    Sky King wrote: »
    I'm on the blob


    In all truth the amount of sickies women can pull if they have a male boss who doesnt want to know the details of their excuse is staggering.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 895 ✭✭✭subscriber


    Posy wrote: »
    That's not the crazy/wacky excuse I expected from the OP. That's pretty plausible. I was stuck in traffic in Fairview for half an hour last week when there was a pretty serious accident near the park. Nobody I know said 'A car crash causing the traffic to be backed up? That's CRAZY!'

    "Eh, I wasn't able to do it" was just my stock homework excuse. I could never be arsed coming up with anything else, just didn't care enough!

    I think what people are missing about my story i suppose, it was more the way i told it ... Made it sound like there was a major friggin emergency on the road with tonnes and tonnes of emergency vehicles everywhere as if a plane had crashed from the sky on the road or something..

    Ha ha , anyway he knew it was bull as realistically, wouldn't I have called ahead if I had been awake and out of the bed?? .., which I was not.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,089 ✭✭✭jefreywithonef


    Came in ten minutes late to class one day and made some stupid excuse along the lines of "I'm sorry, I miscalculated the amount of time it would take to get here". I uttered this whilst breathing heavily and sweating. The teacher didn't chastise me, I presume she was either too confused or aroused.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,242 ✭✭✭liliq


    I didn't want to work Christmas eve a couple of years ago, wanted to go home instead (everyone else lived locally, it was crap that i was rostered in anyway!), so told them I had the mumps cos it was going around the college at the time :rolleyes:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭a very cool kid


    One time, when late for work:

    "eh, they let a bird drive the bus this morning?

    Not only did i not get in trouble but my boss went on a serious rant about why do CIE do stuff like that!


  • Registered Users Posts: 423 ✭✭MrPirate


    "Sorry, I was playing Skyrim and didn't see your FB message!"



    Little did they know, I didn't have Skyrim, but was just didn't wanna talk to them. Gotta love taking advantage of known soul-sucking things and using them to your advantage. :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 784 ✭✭✭thecornflake


    7Sins wrote: »
    At last, I'm on a file...in a file, somewhere. My ma would be proud :)

    In a filing cabinet.

    Best ever excuse I remember, a mate of mine was late for school one day after lunch. Teacher asked why he was late and he replied "It was really windy out sir and I kept getting blown back". The teacher let him off being late just for such a creative excuse.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    The worst excuse/lie ever said?

    '... I cant. Im on my period.'


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,032 ✭✭✭Bubblefett


    A staff member once told me the reason he was late for work was he had cancer.

    Funny how it cleared up in time for the christmas party though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭ColeTrain


    sandra06 wrote: »
    out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again :D

    If he had done that to you then I reckon you wouldn't be telling the story in such a breezy tone. You could have at least had the heart to tell him it wasn't working out, tbh what you did was something a small child would do - literally run away from a problem.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,373 ✭✭✭Dartz


    "All the black kids got theirs first,"

    To a toddler who didn't understand why Santy didn't bring want he wanted for Christmas.

    I'm not a racist at all, I'm just *that* cousin who seeks to sow discord among the younger generation. I thought another one to shoot her teacher with rubber bands and hard bits of paper.

    In other words. An asshole.


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