Worst excuse i've ever used.

subscriber

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

What's the worst excuse you have used? For anything?

sandra06

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

brummytom

My mom wanted to cancel tickets for a concert she thought was a one-off, that ended up turning into a tour, so she could get tickets for a closer one.

About 2 weeks before the gig she'd tickets for was meant to be taking place, she rang up ticketmaster or whoever and said she'd just found out we had to go to a wedding that day.

Seriously? A wedding? With two weeks notice? What a shite excuse.



I don't really do excuses, I tend to tell the truth. Saves a lot of bother in the long run, and most people appreciate the honestly.

Kadent

There used to be a factory that made chipboard along the road I used to walk to school when I was growing up, we use call it the chip factory. I had no idea what it meant at the time but associated it with the fried spud variety. I was messing around on the way home from school (back in the day when we use to walk places) and got home late only to be confronted by angry mother. when she asked where I was I told her I slipped on some chips up by the chip factory and couldn't walk properly so it took me longer to get home.
I remember her smiling from the corner of her mouth but she never told me what was so funny. Didn't learn for years later what they actually made in there either.

Slunk

Asked for a day off, was refused. Flight arrived five hours before i had to go to work (4am). Phoned and said it was delayed. They checked the arrivals and confronted me so i came clean. Told them i had been in Prague with a fellow work mate on a bender and am in an awful state so won't be seen me or my work mate today. Luckily the boss appreciated the honesty and said we'll deal with it the next day. Got a talking to and a note on my file. Was worth it.
So using somethin that is easily checked was my downfall. Lesson learned

Superbus

Sorry I can't go, I have to think up better excuses that day.

Aoifey!

When I was 15 my totally anti-alcohol mother found an empty naggin of vodka in my bag. My excuse was I was cleaning out my friend's father's bar and it must have fallen in. She didn't believe it for a second.

Scruffles

subscriber wrote: »

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

What's the worst excuse you have used? For anything?

that actualy sounds very possible,its the sort of thing to cause huge traffic jams.

brummytom,
its a mum thing.
mine used to say one of her 'sisters had died' whenever a agency phoned up to find out why she hadnt paid her credit card debt off,trouble is, they phoned very often to harass and mum has a big family but there is a limit on sisters anyone will have.:eek:
all fool them for never bothering to ask for proof,coud have asked for photos at the funeral or something.

-exactly the same with honesty,in some cases have seriously f-kd self over knowingly being honest instead of covering it up,its a involuntary/natural instinct-if try to hide it it finds its way out like a well needed fart.
people say am the most transparent person around as they instantly know if have done or nicked anything-will end up laughing or running off.
need to become a ninja so they cant see am laughing.

it really does head in when people think genuine issues are excuses though,like the usual feckin bloodtime [aka monthlies],am anaemic which is worse during bloodtime,will feel very very tired and need to lie down,pain is bad as well,a certain male says its an excuse because other women cope ok with it,bellend.

LighterGuy

sandra06 wrote: »

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

As opposed to just discreetly walking out the door?
There's obvious bullshit and then there are realistic sounding lies.

some how I bet you'll get back saying how you couldnt go out the front door as he was sitting near it etc.

Cheeky_gal

subscriber wrote: »

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

What's the worst excuse you have used? For anything?

Whole

LighterGuy

We all tell 'white lies' anyone who says they dont, is a flat out liar.
But one thing I absolutely hate about people is when they use serious lies to get out of things in certain situations that don't call for such lies.

Eg, you are to meet someone (etc) and they cant because:
- 'my mother was rushed into hospital'
- 'my friend had an accident'
- etc

I hate that shit. Upon hearing those lies I automatically 'tag' someone as a wanker to be avoided in my mind.

A0

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Whole

Nope, that's why Subscriber was late... fell into the hole

john t

late for work told boss i was kidnapped,

subscriber

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Whole

No one likes a grammar nazi! It's all in good fun here!! Remember this is AH, not dictionary.com

AnonoBoy

"Why are you late?"
- Recession.

AnonoBoy

subscriber wrote: »

No one likes a grammar nazi!

Bullsh*t. I married one.

Acoshla

A friend (ex friend now) of mine cancelled going away for my birthday at the last minute because her mother was going on holidays and if she didn't stay at home to wash clothes her brother would have none for college and her dad would have none for work. Now, both of these men worked in an electrical job, surely they could have figured out how to turn on a fucking washine machine

Father Damo

Tried googling it but cant find her, but wasnt there a story a few years ago in England where some lads on a stag do fabricated a story about the groom getting lost at sea so he could go on a bender with some bird he pulled for a few extra days? Massive search and then he turned up claiming he had been washed up wherever with no way of communicating with the authorities.

Or did I dream all this.

And no, Im not confusing it with the lad who faked a drowning for the insurance scam.

marketty

Scruffles wrote: »

coud have asked for photos at the funeral or something.

Are you for cereal?

Jesus Wept

sandra06 wrote: »

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

How pathetic of you.

7Sins

Slunk wrote: »

Got a talking to and a note on my file.

A file? What file...do people have files, I want a file

cgpg5

Back in secondary school everyone that came to school after 9am had to "sign in" and give a reason for their lateness. One day I unfortunately was delayed till bout 9 15 and upon signing in decided to read everyones excuse. A fair amount of people came up with "was calving a cow" despite it being October!!

cgpg5

sandra06 wrote: »

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

Was he really that bad? Honestly, poor guy!

stupidusername

7Sins wrote: »

A file? What file...do people have files, I want a file

i'm going to start making files on all boardsies that I encounter.

*notes*
*7Sins likes files*

hmmm.interesting.

on the topic at hand, I cannot remember any excuses i've used. the only thing that stands out is saying i've to wash my hair. but that's a real reason...it's takes ages between washing drying and straightening.

7Sins

stupidusername wrote: »

i'm going to start making files on all boardsies that I encounter.

*notes*
*7Sins likes files*

hmmm.interesting.

At last, I'm on a file...in a file, somewhere. My ma would be proud

Buceph

When I was in fourth year, I'd always be late coming into one particular 9am class, or I wouldn't have my homework done. The teacher kept on giving out to me until one day he said, "I'm sick of you, you have an excuse for everything, I'm not having it anymore." The next week we were given a big assignment where we had to invent a product and prototype it. I recorded my mother making an excuse for someone having no homework onto a minidisc player (will replace the CD player my arse, the giant ****ing scam!) And then I made a box with a small keyboard on it, connected the two with a wire and put speakers onto the minidisc player.

The teacher called me up, asked what I had invented so I told him I made this and I use it every morning to generate my excuse for his class, it was an "excuse generator." I typed in a problem into the keypad, e.g. I have no homework done for this class, and hit enter/play on the minidisc and my mother saying an excuse played out over the speakers.

He laughed his arse off. I got an A. And I kept on making excuses for other stuff in his class until the end of the year.

FruitLover

subscriber wrote: »

No one likes a grammar nazi! It's all in good fun here!! Remember this is AH, not dictionary.com

What has correcting spelling got to do with whatever a grammar nazi does?

A0

Worst excuse i've ever used.

Sorry, can't answer. I have problems with my internet connection... Can't login.



300 posts, woohoo!!

Pherekydes

My wife was having a few drinks with friends in my brother's pub and she mentioned that we were getting married and he said back to her "Ah, I'm working that night." He didn't even know the date.

Chuck Stone

We had a really weak teacher and when she asked me for my homework (I never did homework) I said that my house was destroyed in an earthquake.

When she asked me for it the following day I told her it was too cold to pick through the rubble.

cloud493

I was late for Maths once, told the teacher i'd been playing halo 3, since it was the release date. Course he believed it, he got pissed off, but I didn't even have an Xbox.

Welruc

This thread reminds me of a joke:

Guy rings up his boss saying "cant make it in today, im sick"
Boss: "How sick are ya?"
Guy: "Well im in bed with my sister how sick is that?"

PCPhoto

Pherekydes wrote: »

My wife was having a few drinks with friends in my brother's pub and she mentioned that we were getting married and he said back to her "Ah, I'm working that night." He didn't even know the date.

thats not really an excuse ...I say things like that !!

(Note: I'm self-employed and until recently worked 7 days a week - so I was usually right ...I'd be working that day ...but could sometimes arrange cover for me to goto things, rarely went on holidays as it would cost too much to pay someone to cover me)

44leto

I was dying of a hangover and I once told my boss I am sorry I can't make it, I am in Galway and my car broke down, yesterday.

But this is also the best way I got caught. It was pre mobile and he said, well you have enough to deal with so give me the number of the phone you are on and I will ring you back on company expense and we will see what is happening.

Errrr OK I will be in in an hour. He was sound but dead wide and I never really did things like that, so he just gave me a bollocking and that was that.

Pherekydes

PCPhoto wrote: »

thats not really an excuse ...I say things like that !!

Surely you'd find out the date of a proposed wedding before refusing to go? Especially if it was your brother's?

It was a rebuff, plain and simple, and the 'work' was the lamest possible excuse. He's changed his day off before to go to gigs.

Wattle

'The kids are exhausted'. I heard that one a few times over Christmas from parents who wanted to duck out early.

couldntthink

I told my boss I couldn't come into work because a cow kicked me in the nuts. Didn't really care if he believed me or not, it was his last day.

Posy

subscriber wrote: »

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

That's not the crazy/wacky excuse I expected from the OP. That's pretty plausible. I was stuck in traffic in Fairview for half an hour last week when there was a pretty serious accident near the park. Nobody I know said 'A car crash causing the traffic to be backed up? That's CRAZY!'

"Eh, I wasn't able to do it" was just my stock homework excuse. I could never be arsed coming up with anything else, just didn't care enough!

Senna

Wasn't mine, but a mate in college told the lecture (in-front of the class) that Damien and Shona (both in the class) were making so much noise in the bedroom next to his on Wednesday night that he slept in on Thursday and missed the bus to the field study. The lecturer could only laugh.

The J Stands for Jay

"Sorry, I can't make it to work today because I despise my job."

Celly Smunt

My dog actually ate my homework once

Sky King

I'm on the blob

membersonly

"That money was just resting in my account before I simply moved it on"

...after BIZARRE IRREGULARITIES were discovered in my accounts.

44leto

Darling I have a headache.

Frank Black

Slunk wrote: »

Asked for a day off, was refused. Flight arrived five hours before i had to go to work (4am). Phoned and said it was delayed. They checked the arrivals and confronted me so i came clean. Told them i had been in Prague with a fellow work mate on a bender and am in an awful state so won't be seen me or my work mate today. Luckily the boss appreciated the honesty and said we'll deal with it the next day. Got a talking to and a note on my file. Was worth it.
So using somethin that is easily checked was my downfall. Lesson learned

Something tell me that you've learned the wrong lesson from this incident.

saa

Had to hang up on someone because I was laughing
I just said "the pot is boiling over"
and hung up laughing.

I think I pulled it off, come to think of it she never really calls me anymore,
humm.. strange..

later12

I have sisters who are twins. When they were about 13, X needed her passport replaced. Mum was in Cork with Y at the time and, since they were twins, got Y to pose for the photo and sign the application form.

Only Y signed the wrong name on the passport form, and instead of signing her twin's name, signed her own instead.

A very perplexed man from the passport office got in touch a few days later wondering why the child had signed her name as something completely different. "Oh, that's my other daughter's name", my mother lied "she must have got mixed up about her name".

nicechick!

later10 wrote: »

I have sisters who are twins. When they were about 13, X needed her passport replaced. Mum was in Cork with Y at the time and, since they were twins, got Y to pose for the photo and sign the application form.

Only Y signed the wrong name on the passport form, and instead of signing her twin's name, signed her own instead.

A very perplexed man from the passport office got in touch a few days later wondering why the child had signed her name as something completely different. "Oh, that's my other daughter's name", my mother lied "she must have got mixed up about her name".

Great being a twin myself and my sister had a shared drivers license and car insurance (we're identical) for years

nicechick!

One of my team who only ever works weekends has come in looking for a weekend of for his 21st Birthday at least 3times this year!!

Seans_Username

In 5th year one lad would usually be late for every morning class. He only lived about 200 meters from the school and always walked in.

One day the teacher asked him why he was late and he just went "uhh...traffic"

Father Damo

Sky King wrote: »

I'm on the blob

In all truth the amount of sickies women can pull if they have a male boss who doesnt want to know the details of their excuse is staggering.