Worst excuse i've ever used.

subscriber · 27-12-2011 2:33am #1

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

What's the worst excuse you have used? For anything?

sandra06 · 27-12-2011 2:39am

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

brummytom · 27-12-2011 2:41am

My mom wanted to cancel tickets for a concert she thought was a one-off, that ended up turning into a tour, so she could get tickets for a closer one.

About 2 weeks before the gig she'd tickets for was meant to be taking place, she rang up ticketmaster or whoever and said she'd just found out we had to go to a wedding that day.

Seriously? A wedding? With two weeks notice? What a shite excuse.

I don't really do excuses, I tend to tell the truth. Saves a lot of bother in the long run, and most people appreciate the honestly.

Kadent · 27-12-2011 2:43am

There used to be a factory that made chipboard along the road I used to walk to school when I was growing up, we use call it the chip factory. I had no idea what it meant at the time but associated it with the fried spud variety. I was messing around on the way home from school (back in the day when we use to walk places) and got home late only to be confronted by angry mother. when she asked where I was I told her I slipped on some chips up by the chip factory and couldn't walk properly so it took me longer to get home.
I remember her smiling from the corner of her mouth but she never told me what was so funny. Didn't learn for years later what they actually made in there either.

Slunk · 27-12-2011 2:47am

Asked for a day off, was refused. Flight arrived five hours before i had to go to work (4am). Phoned and said it was delayed. They checked the arrivals and confronted me so i came clean. Told them i had been in Prague with a fellow work mate on a bender and am in an awful state so won't be seen me or my work mate today. Luckily the boss appreciated the honesty and said we'll deal with it the next day. Got a talking to and a note on my file. Was worth it.
So using somethin that is easily checked was my downfall. Lesson learned

Superbus · 27-12-2011 2:49am

Sorry I can't go, I have to think up better excuses that day.

Aoifey! · 27-12-2011 3:17am

When I was 15 my totally anti-alcohol mother found an empty naggin of vodka in my bag. My excuse was I was cleaning out my friend's father's bar and it must have fallen in. She didn't believe it for a second.

Scruffles · 27-12-2011 3:24am

subscriber wrote: »

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

What's the worst excuse you have used? For anything?

that actualy sounds very possible,its the sort of thing to cause huge traffic jams.

brummytom,
its a mum thing.
mine used to say one of her 'sisters had died' whenever a agency phoned up to find out why she hadnt paid her credit card debt off,trouble is, they phoned very often to harass and mum has a big family but there is a limit on sisters anyone will have.:eek:
all fool them for never bothering to ask for proof,coud have asked for photos at the funeral or something.

-exactly the same with honesty,in some cases have seriously f-kd self over knowingly being honest instead of covering it up,its a involuntary/natural instinct-if try to hide it it finds its way out like a well needed fart.
people say am the most transparent person around as they instantly know if have done or nicked anything-will end up laughing or running off.
need to become a ninja so they cant see am laughing.

it really does head in when people think genuine issues are excuses though,like the usual feckin bloodtime [aka monthlies],am anaemic which is worse during bloodtime,will feel very very tired and need to lie down,pain is bad as well,a certain male says its an excuse because other women cope ok with it,bellend.

LighterGuy · 27-12-2011 3:37am

sandra06 wrote: »

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

As opposed to just discreetly walking out the door?
There's obvious bullshit and then there are realistic sounding lies.

some how I bet you'll get back saying how you couldnt go out the front door as he was sitting near it etc.

Cheeky_gal · 27-12-2011 3:38am

subscriber wrote: »

The worst excuse I ever used was one day when I slept it out for work and was two hours late and told my boss there was a major accident on the road, and the fire brigade and the police had to come and the hole road was cordoned off for ages, and I was waiting to get through. Obviously he didn't believe me. ha ha

What's the worst excuse you have used? For anything?

Whole

LighterGuy · 27-12-2011 3:46am

We all tell 'white lies'

anyone who says they dont, is a flat out liar.
But one thing I absolutely hate about people is when they use serious lies to get out of things in certain situations that don't call for such lies.

Eg, you are to meet someone (etc) and they cant because:
- 'my mother was rushed into hospital'
- 'my friend had an accident'
- etc

I hate that shit. Upon hearing those lies I automatically 'tag' someone as a wanker to be avoided in my mind.

A0 · 27-12-2011 3:51am

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Whole

Nope, that's why Subscriber was late... fell into the hole

john t · 27-12-2011 3:51am

late for work told boss i was kidnapped,

subscriber · 27-12-2011 4:06am

Cheeky_gal wrote: »

Whole

No one likes a grammar nazi! It's all in good fun here!! Remember this is AH, not dictionary.com

AnonoBoy · 27-12-2011 4:12am

"Why are you late?"
- Recession.

AnonoBoy · 27-12-2011 4:12am

subscriber wrote: »

No one likes a grammar nazi!

Bullsh*t. I married one.

Acoshla · 27-12-2011 4:23am

A friend (ex friend now) of mine cancelled going away for my birthday at the last minute because her mother was going on holidays and if she didn't stay at home to wash clothes her brother would have none for college and her dad would have none for work. Now, both of these men worked in an electrical job, surely they could have figured out how to turn on a fucking washine machine

Father Damo · 27-12-2011 4:24am

Tried googling it but cant find her, but wasnt there a story a few years ago in England where some lads on a stag do fabricated a story about the groom getting lost at sea so he could go on a bender with some bird he pulled for a few extra days? Massive search and then he turned up claiming he had been washed up wherever with no way of communicating with the authorities.

Or did I dream all this.

And no, Im not confusing it with the lad who faked a drowning for the insurance scam.

marketty · 27-12-2011 4:33am

Scruffles wrote: »

coud have asked for photos at the funeral or something.

Are you for cereal?

Jesus Wept · 27-12-2011 5:10am

sandra06 wrote: »

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

How pathetic of you.

7Sins · 27-12-2011 5:11am

Slunk wrote: »

Got a talking to and a note on my file.

A file? What file...do people have files, I want a file

cgpg5 · 27-12-2011 5:14am

Back in secondary school everyone that came to school after 9am had to "sign in" and give a reason for their lateness. One day I unfortunately was delayed till bout 9 15 and upon signing in decided to read everyones excuse. A fair amount of people came up with "was calving a cow" despite it being October!!

cgpg5 · 27-12-2011 5:16am

sandra06 wrote: »

out on a date with a guy ,told him i needed the loo and off i went out the window of toilet ,seen him a few days later he asked me where i went told him i got a call from mum ,had to rush home ,he asked me out again

Was he really that bad? Honestly, poor guy!

stupidusername · 27-12-2011 5:18am

7Sins wrote: »

A file? What file...do people have files, I want a file

i'm going to start making files on all boardsies that I encounter.

*notes*
*7Sins likes files*

hmmm.interesting.

on the topic at hand, I cannot remember any excuses i've used. the only thing that stands out is saying i've to wash my hair. but that's a real reason...it's takes ages between washing drying and straightening.

7Sins · 27-12-2011 5:26am

stupidusername wrote: »

i'm going to start making files on all boardsies that I encounter.

*notes*
*7Sins likes files*

hmmm.interesting.

At last, I'm on a file...in a file, somewhere. My ma would be proud

Buceph · 27-12-2011 5:30am

When I was in fourth year, I'd always be late coming into one particular 9am class, or I wouldn't have my homework done. The teacher kept on giving out to me until one day he said, "I'm sick of you, you have an excuse for everything, I'm not having it anymore." The next week we were given a big assignment where we had to invent a product and prototype it. I recorded my mother making an excuse for someone having no homework onto a minidisc player (will replace the CD player my arse, the giant ****ing scam!) And then I made a box with a small keyboard on it, connected the two with a wire and put speakers onto the minidisc player.

The teacher called me up, asked what I had invented so I told him I made this and I use it every morning to generate my excuse for his class, it was an "excuse generator." I typed in a problem into the keypad, e.g. I have no homework done for this class, and hit enter/play on the minidisc and my mother saying an excuse played out over the speakers.

He laughed his arse off. I got an A. And I kept on making excuses for other stuff in his class until the end of the year.

FruitLover · 27-12-2011 5:55am

subscriber wrote: »

No one likes a grammar nazi! It's all in good fun here!! Remember this is AH, not dictionary.com

What has correcting spelling got to do with whatever a grammar nazi does?

A0 · 27-12-2011 10:31am

Worst excuse i've ever used.

Sorry, can't answer. I have problems with my internet connection... Can't login.

300 posts, woohoo!!

Pherekydes · 27-12-2011 10:53am

My wife was having a few drinks with friends in my brother's pub and she mentioned that we were getting married and he said back to her "Ah, I'm working that night." He didn't even know the date.

Chuck Stone · 27-12-2011 11:19am

We had a really weak teacher and when she asked me for my homework (I never did homework) I said that my house was destroyed in an earthquake.

When she asked me for it the following day I told her it was too cold to pick through the rubble.

cloud493 · 27-12-2011 11:24am

I was late for Maths once, told the teacher i'd been playing halo 3, since it was the release date. Course he believed it, he got pissed off, but I didn't even have an Xbox.

Worst excuse i've ever used.

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