Would you want to know if your partner was cheating?

ElleEm

This is prompted by a few threads posted recently in Personal Issues asking should a person tell someone if their partner was cheating. A lot of replies shock me as there seem to be a lot of people saying 'don't get involved,don't say anything', etc. Some people are also of the opinion that if you're not really close friends or family to the couple,then don't get involved. I don't think there is any situation that would make me want to be kept in the dark if my partner was cheating. I would appreciate ANYONE telling me if i was being deceived. There also seems to be a lot of talk about fearing that the person being cheated on would 'shoot the messenger'. So what do you think? Have you ever been cheated on and later found out loads of people knew? Or have you been told your partner cheated on you? Would you tell a friend or acquaintance if you knew their partner was cheating on them?

Wurly

I understand where people are coming from when they say 'dont get involved' and all that kinda thing. But if it were me, i'd want to know. I have been in situations before where lots of people knew and I was oblivious. It is a disgusting feeling.

If I knew someone was being cheated on, i'd like to think that i'd tell them. Obviously it would depend on the circumstances and the people involved. you'd also have to be 100% sure. But I think it's wrong to allow someone to be made a fool out of when you have an opportunity to end their misery. I would be furious (and indeed have been) if people knew I was being cheated on but said nothing. All the while, I think i'm in a happy and loving relationship when really i'm being made an eejit out of. No thanks. Then, there's always the risk of contracting an STD thanks to a cheating partner. I couldn't live with myself if I knowingly allowed someone else to face those risks.

ElleEm

That's exactly the feeling i'd get. I would completely feel like a fool,and that while you're going around thinking your relationship is grand,others are pitying you.

Ickle Magoo

It's not as black and white for me - yes, I would want to know if my partner was cheating because we don't have an open relationship and I'd rather know so I can show him the door...on the other hand would I want someone telling me he's cheating and all the associated heartache and relationship damage that would result in, based on gossip and hearsay which has added 2 & 2 together and come up with 7? No.

Given that other people do have open relationships, that they do turn a blind eye to partners cheating and that some people seem to think it's impossible for men and women to be friends, I think you'd have to be pretty sure of your facts before deciding you know what's going on and that you have the right to make such massive accusations against someone's partner.

I was cheated on and nobody told me, my suspicions were raised because of the looks that passed around a group that had attended a party with my boyfriend at the time, that I hadn't been to. They were friends with him before they were friends with me and loyalty to him clearly trumped honesty with me...that's their call.

I'm married now (obviously to a different bloke) and I think without any doubt I'd know if he was cheating - unless you happen to be a pathological liar and have a photographic memory then you are going to get tripped up fairly quickly and give more and more clues to a partner that knows you well. Given the obvious scope for getting it monumentally wrong and forever being branded the meddling trouble-making gossip monger, I can certainly understand peoples reticence to get involved unless it's a close friend whose well-being trumps all the hassle interfering may bring.

LegacyUser

Here's this from a different angle.

I started college, met a guy and really liked him. We got together, went out a few times. He was charming, funny and looked like Johnny Depp.
Then one day when I was in work I got this as a text
"I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend."
No one in our course knew, his girlfriend lived out of the country. I was mortified. I'd have never gone out with him if I'd known. I couldn't look at him again after that.

A few months later I was at a party and he turned up with said girlfriend (who I then found out he'd been with for 2 years). I was sick to my stomach and had to leave. I spoke it over with my friends. I really wanted to go and tell her what an ass her boyfriend was. You have no idea how much. I didn't know if it was me wanting to hurt him or save her or what. But I just couldn't and neither could any of my friends. It just didn't feel right.

Maybe it was my position in the whole thing, but sometimes it isn't easy to say "hey your man is scum." Good news for her is they broke up within a year. Never found out why (I left the college after my 1st year and I'd be lying if I said he wasn't a factor).
I hope this doesn't cast me in a bad light, it's an experience I wish I could forget and I'm so so ashamed of.

LittleBook

Would I want to know? Yes, definitely, I would want to know.

Would I tell? That's a little greyer for me and would depend on the evidence I have and the people involved. Unless they are one of my friends (and I mean friend) I would be less likely to tell the person being cheated on than I would be to tell the cheater to come clean or stop "or else". If they called my bluff, I'd have to play it by ear.

ElleEm wrote: »

There also seems to be a lot of talk about fearing that the person being cheated on would 'shoot the messenger'.

I've seen this brought up also. There sometimes seems to be an impression that a partner would know (on some level) if someone was cheating. Unless, as Ickle says, the cheater is a pathological liar with a photographic memory, a cheater is bound to get caught eventually in most cases. For every "should I tell" thread, there's two "I think my partner is cheating" threads.

So, if the couple are in an open relationship, particularly if this is only implicitly understood, then I can definitely see a scenario where the messenger would be blamed. A person who knows on some level that they are being cheated on but accepts it to maintain the status quo is likely to be very unhappy with the person who bursts their bubble, however well intentioned that person may be.

People who possibly shouldn't be together stay together for a wide range of reasons, and we can never understand looking from the outside in.

willneverhappenagain wrote: »

I hope this doesn't cast me in a bad light, it's an experience I wish I could forget and I'm so so ashamed of.

Why are you ashamed of yourself?? For not telling the girlfriend or for being with her boyfriend. Either way, you've nothing to be ashamed of. There are enough people out there who are very, very good liars and have very little conscience that sometimes people do just get caught up in their double lives.

My friend is, as I type, recovering from discovering (after they'd broken up) that her boyfriend of several months was living with someone. I have no doubt in my mind that if I'd discovered it before she did, I'd have told her because I know her and I know that this was absolutely unacceptable to her.

The_Minister

A cautionary tale:

Over a year ago I was out on the town with a married friend when he strayed badly - I was actually furious, because I knew and somewhat liked his wife, and there was a younger lad with us who was incredibly innocent, who was drunk and kept asking me why he was cheating, to which I obviously had no answer.

My loyalty was to him however and I said nothing - for which I am eternally glad.

Found out months later that the marriage had broken down, she had left him, but he was too proud to tell us - he still hasn't told us

Had I run my mouth off I would have caused endless unneccesary hurt and pain.

jaja321

I’ve been in the situation before where I knew someone was being cheated on, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I battled with the decision for quite a while. I ended up not telling the person, but this was more because of the specific circumstances and the people involved. Turns out in the end they were both cheating on each other and they’ve broken up since; so I’m glad I didn’t get involved.

If it was someone very close to me though, and I knew for a fact that they were being cheated on; I would have to tell them. If it were me, then I would want to know. But I would want the person to be 100% sure it was true before telling me. I always thought I’d know if someone was cheating on me, but the more and more stories I hear the more I feel unsure about this...:(

I'm always shocked at the number of people saying not to tell.
Especially when it's a girl who's just found out the guy has a girlfriend. They often try to make her doubt her motives, as if telling the girlfriend out of spite makes any difference as long as she just knows.
I would always want to know, and I am pretty sure I would tell if I knew.

Conor Bourke

I was in the "Should I tell?" situation a good few years ago, it was horrible but I'm glad to say it's more or less forgotten about since. My loyalties were to my close friend who was being utterly humiliated by both her boyfriend (with whom she was living) and their work colleague.

I found out through another friend, who found out because the boyfriend of the girl who was with my friend's boyfriend (stick with me here, the two couples worked together) admitted that he knew they were cheating but he couldn't bear to be without her and was willing to forgive her.

My friend was understandably upset and confronted her fella, they broke up. The lad who's girlfriend was cheating on him reacted really badly and got very angry and aggressive with me and the girl who told me, blaming us for "ruining everything for him". I felt bad, but I barely knew the guy and as I said, my loyalty was to my friend and while she was devastated to find out her worst fears were confirmed, she was grateful to me for telling her.

Storminateacup

I had a married man that was the same Age as my dad, proposition me on facebook. I freakkked out at him and he apologised but had he not had a 6 year old daughter, I'd have confronted him in front of his wife and I'd have given her a screenshot print off of his facebook message

I hate cheating scum and if there was no children involved I'd have no problem telling their partner.

What difference does children make

moco

I would absolutely want to know if my fella was cheating on me, no doubt about it. Nobody wants to be made a fool of.

I was about to say I'd always tell someone if I knew their partner was cheating on them, but then I realise I do know one that I haven't told.

My fiance's friend has cheated on his girlfriend, and I'm quite friendly with her. I only met her through him, we get on great on nights out, but don't have much contact otherwise.

The thing is, she takes so much crap from him, with him dumping her and her taking him back, plus loads of other bad treatment, that I know she wouldn't leave him and I'd cause a world of hassle with her fella and mine that it just isn't worth it. I think she'd stay with him no matter what. I hinted the last time they split up that he might have cheated on her. I said I never actually saw it, which is the truth, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did. She didn't push me on it, as I don't think she really wants to know.

Da Shins Kelly

I would want to know, but I think I'd rather be told by a friend rather than someone I don't know that well. There's something embarrassing about being told by a stranger, I think.

On telling someone else, it would really depend on how well I knew the person cheating and the person being cheated on. If it was a good friend of mine, I'd tell them straight out if they were being cheated on. If I knew that someone I kinda knew was being cheated on, I'm not sure I'd say anything. There's some situations that outsiders just shouldn't get involved in. I know that the person might appreciate being told, but there's also a chance that you're getting yourself involved in something that you know nothing about and really f*cking up something, which they might not appreciate at all. There's also a chance that they won't believe you and accuse you of all sorts. I just couldn't see myself walking up to someone I kinda know and telling them that their boy/girlfriend is cheating on them. I just don't think it's my place to make assumptions about people and relationships unless I really know the people involved well. It's just none of my business.

These things have a way of coming to light anyway, I think.

Storminateacup

Because I don't think I'd be able to destroy some childs family, regardless
of how much of a scum either of the parents were

sunflower27

Yes, in a heartbeat.

Yve

willneverhappenagain wrote: »

Here's this from a different angle.

I started college, met a guy and really liked him. We got together, went out a few times. He was charming, funny and looked like Johnny Depp.
Then one day when I was in work I got this as a text
"I'm sorry, I have a girlfriend."
No one in our course knew, his girlfriend lived out of the country. I was mortified. I'd have never gone out with him if I'd known. I couldn't look at him again after that.

A few months later I was at a party and he turned up with said girlfriend (who I then found out he'd been with for 2 years). I was sick to my stomach and had to leave. I spoke it over with my friends. I really wanted to go and tell her what an ass her boyfriend was. You have no idea how much. I didn't know if it was me wanting to hurt him or save her or what. But I just couldn't and neither could any of my friends. It just didn't feel right.


Maybe it was my position in the whole thing, but sometimes it isn't easy to say "hey your man is scum." Good news for her is they broke up within a year. Never found out why (I left the college after my 1st year and I'd be lying if I said he wasn't a factor).
I hope this doesn't cast me in a bad light, it's an experience I wish I could forget and I'm so so ashamed of.

This happened to me - slept with a guy who had a girlfriend and I didnt know.
Met up with him a few times and then the girlfriend arrived over from Poland. I felt disgusting and stupid and I dunno just used obviously. I wanted to tell her, I really did. But I knew he would simply deny it and she would just see me as someone wanting to destroy what they had.. I never spoke to him ever again.. I couldnt believe it....

Some girls can be so in denial that their OH's would cheat and men can be so convincing - its so easily turned around and the you end up looking like some demented woman who is chasing attached men....

women either dont believe the other woman at all or blame her entirely and man gets off easily...


oh and to answer the thread question yes i would like to know, despite not being able to tell someone myself.. (contradictory I know, but I didnt see any positive coming out of telling in the above situation. ).... if my man cheated he would be out in the door in a flash, i wouldnt be one of those women to blame the other person involved or be naive enough to believe his lies.

Storminateacup

Storminateacup wrote: »

Because I don't think I'd be able to destroy some childs family, regardless
of how much of a scum either of the parents were

I'm not having a go, but after chatting about it with a friend, we don't really get it
figured it would be even more reason to tell the wife. I mean you're assuming you're going to break up the family - do you really think you have that much influence? especially when it's him doing the cheating and his actions that would ultimately be the cause any breakup, and the wife's decision? I just think the wife has a right to know what kind of environment the child is being brought up in, and I think two happy separate parents is better than two unhappy together parents
again i'm not having a go at what you did or didn't do or tell, this is all just from a general discussion POV

OkayWhatever

Hmm I don't know if i'd want to know.. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

Yve

bluewolf wrote: »

I'm not having a go, but after chatting about it with a friend, we don't really get it
figured it would be even more reason to tell the wife. I mean you're assuming you're going to break up the family - do you really think you have that much influence? especially when it's him doing the cheating and his actions that would ultimately be the cause any breakup, and the wife's decision? I just think the wife has a right to know what kind of environment the child is being brought up in, and I think two happy separate parents is better than two unhappy together parents
again i'm not having a go at what you did or didn't do or tell, this is all just from a general discussion POV

Hi there

Me and my OH have a son together and I am expecting another and I think it makes me want to know even more.
If a man cant respect the mother of his child(ren) then good luck..
and I would rather raise my children by myself than be with a man who doesn't deserve us.... rather be on my own than in an unhappy loveless environment .

ElleEm

OkayWhatever wrote: »

Hmm I don't know if i'd want to know.. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

Really? Nothing in your relationship can be 'bliss' if your bloke is lying to you and being intimate with someone else.

OkayWhatever

ElleEm wrote: »

Really? Nothing in your relationship can be 'bliss' if your bloke is lying to you and being intimate with someone else.

I dunno, I think it's hard to be really happy sometimes. And if I was really happy then I wouldn't wanna know. I've been cheated on in the past and it's always in my mind. I couldn't bear for it to happen to me again, and if it did, I don't think i'd wanna know. I dunno how it would affect my mind and what I thought about myself.

Bubblefett

My OH's last girlfriend cheated on him right at the end of their relationship. His cousin saw her out on a date with another lad and texted him to tell him. She said it never occured to her not to, she knew he had to know.

He was so upset when he found out. But because of it he knew their already failing relationship wasn't worth fighting for. He could have wasted so much time with a woman who was cheating on him anyway.

Instead he got to move on and date another charming lady who only has eyes for him (even nearly 5 years later)

Fighting Irish

I'd want to know myself, but i wouldn't get involved if it was someone other couple and i found out one was cheating

coco_lola

It would really depend on the situation. At the end of the day I would be devastated, and in my book, cheating is unforgivable. I also believe that if a man loves you, he wouldnt even consider being with anyone else and would only be thinking about you. However (and people might not agree with me), if it was a once off, extremely drunken kiss or something to that effect, I would rather not know. What you don't know won't hurt you and all that. I would instantly show him the door if I found out because I'd never trust again, and it seems kind of stupid that I'd rather not know, but for a drunken kiss it would be better off. However, if he slept with someone, or if those drunken kisses happened on a regular basis, yes I would definitely want to know. I do not condone cheating. If you don't act like you're in a relationship, don't be in one. Simple as.

pow wow

Wanting to know and wanting to be told (by a third party) are two different things though. Knowing because you witnessed it yourself or otherwise deduced without input from someone else is one thing, relying on a version of events recounted to you by someone who may or may not be telling the truth is another. There are so many variables when you get the information from someone else that can affect how you use it once you have it - I'm sure most of us know at least one person who has refused to believe it's true because they didn't see it with their own two eyes right?

Personally I've never been in a situation where I didn't see it coming so any news from friends was just confirmation really. Whether I would tell someone if I knew depends very much on the person - plenty of relationships survive cheating and being the messenger in those situations doesn't win you any fans.

Eve_Dublin

This thread is really getting me thinking...I posted a situation related to this in PI a while back about my ex housemate and her boyfriend who fight constantly. My boyfriend told me on our first date he saw her boyfriend with his arms wrapped around another girl and with their pelvises together. He showed me what they were doing and it couldn't be mistaken for anything else. They were holding each other as if they'd just been kissing. He was out with this guy's mutual friends that night. He brought it up because he asked me was my housemate still with this guy and I replied, "Yeah...why?" and he told me what he saw. He's not a gossipy guy and not prone to exaggeration and doesn't drink much.

The thing is, my friend's boyfriend has a reputation as a "lady's man" and I'd absolutely believe he cheated on her. A few months after that incident, my friend barged past him into his apartment one day only to find his ex fully clothed in his bed and there's been several more incidents like this. The guy is a sleazeball. I believe my friend know's something is up but as others said here on Boards, she's trying to fit her into her "perfect man" template and is ignoring obvious signs because she's almost 41, wants to get married and have kids.

My ex housemate is a pain in the ass to live with but I consider her a friend. We were terrible housemates but when all is said and done, she's a good person and we get on well. I've been riddled with guilt since my boyfriend told me this but I took the advice I was given here on Boards and said nothing. We see each other regularly...we met this morning and she's meeting his family next week and moving in with him next month.

Fact of the matter is, even though I totally believe he cheated on her (I'd say more than once) and I don't think my boyfriend's eyes were deceiving him, I wasn't a witness to all this but a part of me still believes she should know what I know. I feel like I'm betraying her but again I don't want to stir serious **** because I don't know for definite.

I'm just praying it all ends sooner rather than later. They're relationship is disasterous and she's ruining her life and I'm sick of this guilty feeling every time he comes up in conversation.

would i want to know? yes, absolutely.

would i like it if someone i didnt know or know very well told me? probably not, i would be suspicious of motives etc. but at least it would give me the push to investigate and find out myself for definate.


i would always, always without a doubt tell a good friend if i knew her fella was cheating on her, if it was an aquaintence on the other hand, i would be more likely to say nothing.

barleybooley

I know this is going to sound awful but I think I'd rather not know. The humiliation of feeling everyone knew combined with the hurt would be intolerable I'd imagine. I'd rather find out for myself when they slipped up and it just couldn't be explained. The thing is, I'd hate to think my bf would cheat and the whole ignorance is bliss certainly rings true for this. I wouldn't and haven't told about people I know who cheat because I've never been more friendly with the person who's being cheated on and it comes down to loyalty with me. If I was better friends with the victim dobro speak I might, hard to say really.

Sashiee

I think that if you have oncrete proof then why wouldn't you let the cheated on party kow?
it willallcome out eventually and this would just prevent more hurt and would allow the cheated on party to decide what to do next.

if it was me I wouldwant to know. even if it was just a drunken kiss or anything at all. It's only fair

LegacyUser

99% of the couples I know, I am friends with both the people, but much closer with the males as I only became friendly with their girlfriends through already being friends with the males first. From conversations I've had on this topic before, I've learnt that as a female myself, some people might expect me to tell one of these girls if their boyfriend cheated on them as some sense of 'female comradeship', but to be honest as I know their boyfriend's much longer I would be very very reluctant to do so. I would be more likely to tell the fella to cop on to himself or to own up. If it was one of the girls cheating I would be more likely to say something because I'm friends longer with their boyfriend, but only if it was an ongoing affair type thing. If it was a one night stand I would again be very reluctant to tell even my closer friend the guy, because I am friends with both of them. I would probably just ask her to own up aswell. If she didn't I would probably tell my friend.
If my sister's husband ever cheated I would tell her automatically even though I get on great with him, there's not even a second thought about it when family is concerned. If any of my other friends had a partner who I discovered cheating I would also tell them automatically, that is if I didn't really know their boyfriend/girlfriend that well.
It would be much much harder when you are good friends with both the people, and especially hard if you are closer to or know one of them a lot longer because then you feel like you should have more loyalty to the person you know the longest or are closer to, but feel guilty for not having the same level of loyalty to the other person who you also really like and are friendly with. I would be tempted to just stay nothing in either situation, but I think loyalty to the person I was closest too would come into it eventually. Although I would remain loyal to my closer friend, I think it would sour the friendship somewhat as I would be disgusted with their behaviour. I would get over it and overlook it as a friend, if it was a genuine once off mistake and they were very remorseful and owned up, although I wouldn't accept that excuse if it was my own boyfriend!
Thank God I am not friends with anybody who I know has cheated, so I should hopefully never be put in this situation.

If my boyfriend cheated on me I would like to know. I would obviously prefer if he admitted it himself, but if I had to be told by someone else I would want it to be a close friend who told me. I would hate for it to be told to me by someone who was quite spiteful and obviously relishing in telling me it, though feigning concern. That would make me sick to my stomach.

WaltKowalski

If there was a chance that anyone I knew would find out, then I'd want to know.
If there was no chance of anyone finding out, then I wouldn't.

jaja321

WaltKowalski wrote: »

If there was no chance of anyone finding out, then I wouldn't.

...sorry, but this seems a little strange to me, may I ask why it would matter if no-one else was going to find out? what difference would that make? would you still not want to know?

WaltKowalski

jaja321 wrote: »

...sorry, but this seems a little strange to me, may I ask why it would matter if no-one else was going to find out? what difference would that make? would you still not want to know?

I'd just rather live in ignorant bliss than be hurt and stressed.

jaja321

WaltKowalski wrote: »

I'd just rather live in ignorant bliss than be hurt and stressed.

Ah ok. Personally I'd still want to know, but each to their own and all that

bailarinabela

I would DEFINITELY want to know. The betrayal of a partner is bad enough, but to find out that my friends had known and hidden it would make it so much harder.

I have been cheated on, and one of the hardest parts to overcome was that several of my "friends" did not acknowledge his wrong-doing and in fact, ultimately became closer to him in the following months.

Jemmy

Just simply yes, its happened to me before & I'm glad I found out eventhough I did feel instantly sick and was completely heartbroken, we were quite serious. Well so I thought, getting engaged was brought up by him! Ha

But yea I'd rather know.

Muirgheal

When living with someone 10 years ago, my then bf and his best friend fell out in a big way, and no one would tell me why.

About a month later I found out he was cheating on me- an email was left open on screen. I was completely shocked and I kicked him out and caused a huge scene, (and made a major fool of myself!)

I went to his (former) best friend and asked why they had fallen out, at which point he admitted it was because of the cheating. I was not at all mad that he didn't tell me when he found out. I had to find out myself, and a month previously I simply would not have listened to him or anyone else with anything bad to say about my bf.

Would I tell someone that they were being cheated on? I really don't think so.

Seraphina

Yeah I would want to know. I wouldn't care who told me.

Funnily enough I found out my bf cheated recently. I found his email open and it was mentioned in the first thing I clicked on (he had been seeing a counsellor and I was genuinely attempting to gain some insight and understand some outrageous behaviour he had displayed).

Kranium

I'd want to know so i could move on asap

daenerysstormborn3

I'd want to know and I would tell someone if I knew.

Chuchoter

I would want to know. The incident I can think of most recently is a girl I was in kind of a relationship with (as in I thought and everyone else thought we had something for weeks, but nothing had been made official). I then find out a while after we did make it official, she had been ****ing someone else the whole time while still pursuing things with me. If any of my friends had known before and hadn't told me, I would have been furious with them.

The Big Red Button

I guess it's only because I'm ridiculously naive, but generally I think I'd actually rather not hear it from someone else.

I've never been cheated on, but I'd like to think that if I was, I'd work it out eventually. And, silly as it sounds, I'd rather live in my little bubble of pretending no one else knew.

If it was one of my close friends who knew about it, that's completely different, it would be sort of dishonest of them not to tell.

But I would certainly not appreciate a mail or text from some random acquaintance, who doesn't really know me or my relationship. It would feel like such an invasion of privacy, and make the whole thing an awful lot more humiliating, knowing that everyone was talking about it!

x Purple Pawprints x

I'm not sure. On one hand, I'd want to know because I hate being lied to. On the other hand I would be truly heartbroken if I found out so because of that, I wouldn't want to know. I don't know if that makes any sense.

Pretty Polly

Hard and all that it would be, i would want to know.

Storminateacup

Absolutely. Without a doubt I'd want to know. I'd be very hurt being told however.

saa

Yes I'd want to know, but in reality in that situation I might sub consciously not want to know so not see clues or believe someone, I might think that they're trying to cause trouble.

Sounds crazy but I suppose love is.

ToniTuddle

I'd definitely want to know and thankfully I've had some good friends who alerted me to the fact I was being cheated on.

There have been quite a few exs of mine who got new girlfriends but still tried to hook up with me. Yuck. Those girls were never told as there is zero point, they would think I was simply a jealous ex trying to stir trouble.

As for telling someone if they were getting cheated on.....a good friend yes. Someone I know simply from being about the home town, no not really. There is serious amounts of cheating going on round these parts and I'm not getting involved in any part of it. It's you they will turn on and not believe and then god knows what will be said about you in anger. Have enough stress in my life without making enemies left right and centre!

A friends girlfriend cheated on him with a friend of mine(the stupid tramp) and was witnessed. There was lengthy discussions between us and his best friend about what to do. Whether to go to her first and force her to confess to him or just plain tell him the truth. We went for telling him first so she couldn't twist things. He dumped her and flung her out thankfully. Turned out she was a right whore shagging everything behind his back.... :mad:


I've also had a massive row and fallen out with a friend because he cheated on his girlfriend(don't give a crap about her+won't be telling her, she is a fookin psycho:eek:) with another mutual friends girlfriend!! >.< That one has had the most effect on me as any cheating I've witnessed was always random strangers not a lifelong friend doing the dirt on another friend. Soo many levels of wrong

May sound selfish to some but unless it's a friend then nope I won't be saying a word.

EGAR

My best friend's ex-husband tried to kiss me at the evening of their wedding day. I am still feeling sick about it although it is years back. I never told her, I couldn't bring myself to f*ck up her *perfect* day.

Needless to say the marriage did not last.

madbev90210

Id definitely want to know if I was being cheated on but Id be sceptical informing someone of a cheater in case they thought I was starting trouble or something.. I guess it would depend on individual circumstances.

The Lovely Muffin

I would want to know if my partner was cheating.

If it was a friend, family member, anonymous letter/email eth, I wouldn't be angry or upset with them, I'd be grateful for them for telling me.

Though I hope no one will ever have to tell me a partner is cheating on me and I hope I never have to tell anyone either.