LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Knockout_91

lighthouse wrote: »

Read Michael Curry and Áine Tubridy's book "Depression: an emotion not an illness."

I don't know if I am allowed to say this, but I attended both of these people. Found them to be terrible.

This is what makes me feel like there is no hope, as according to many, Michael Corry was one of the best. However my experience with him was awful.

Wibbs

franktheplank wrote: »

I think the most logical approach is to say there are probably different types of depression, with different causes which react best to different treatments.

+1000 Depression is too small a word for the range of conditions and emotions involved and Treatment is too small a word for the range of options that will suit the individual. Like you said because of this anyone can come along and say X is wrong and the thing is they'd appear to be right, in individual cases and horribly wrong in other individual cases. These conditions can't have a one size fits all approach and any doctor, whether mainstream or alternative that says their approach does would inspire little confidence. And I say this as someone firmly in the "there is overuse of meds" camp.

Knockout_91 wrote:

This is what makes me feel like there is no hope, as according to many, Michael Corry was one of the best. However my experience with him was awful.

Oh there's hope K. You just haven't found the right hope for you yet. I reckon you could name any health professional or treatment out there and some will say "lifesaver" and others will say "quackery". I know it's hard K, but if you keep looking you will find the right one for you.

quickbeam

Knockout_91 wrote: »

I've tried so many different psychologists down through the years (about 8 in total), and I found none of them in any way helpful. I felt as though they were more interested in the money than actually helping me. Sure I'm only 21 and I paid one of them €150 a shot for a 60 minute session every fortnight for several months. No result.

I've felt the same. I tried half a dozen different counsellors and none of them worked. In fact I just felt worse and worse after another failed attempt at recovery. It's not like I just tried each one once and gave up, I gave each one lots of time, but still didn't feel any better. And each time I changed I had to tell my story again from the start - there was no catharsis for me in the actual telling, so doing so was only so they could understand and help but they never did. I became totally resentful of the time and money I'd put in over the years with no success.

I decided one day not to try any more, and to just accept that this is someething I'll have to cope with for the rest of my life. I'll have good periods and bad periods. And you know, making that decision was actually a great relief to me. I'd finally lifted myself from the burden of getting hopes up that are dashed by another useless counsellor. Knowing that never again would have to sit in a room telling the same story to a stranger who never understood or helped and paying them for the privilege of making me feel even more unhappy than I already was.

I know others have said to keep trying, eventually you'll find a counsellor who you'll click with. I'm not going to contradict this or try to persuade you otherwise. But I think there are people for whom counselling just doesn't work, and realising that, and accepting my condition has actually worked for me.

lighthouse

I am sorry to hear various people have had negative experiences of psychotherapy. I have had negative experiences as well but I have also had positive experiences. Therapy is a very slow process. What really helped me in my early stages was holotropic breathwork which really brought my suppressed emotions to the surface. However I would not recommend you do it unless you are already seeing a therapist. It can help move things along quicker than in therapy alone. The most important thing in a psychotherapeutic relationship is the relationship between client and therapist. if whatever reason you don't "click" with a therapist, find another one. Otherwise you are wasting your time. I wouldn't dismiss a therapist after just one session, you can form a good relationship with a therapist but it might take a little time to build up. Also honesty is paramount. You must be prepared to discuss whatever is on your mind, no secrets.

DeVore

"Contentment" is an inside-job. Nothing and nobody can make you truely content because if it/they could then what happens if 'they' leave or 'it' is taken away? You cant base it on other people or other things, you have to first come to peace with yourself, your good parts and your bad parts.

It took me a solid year to realise that and I'm still working on internalising that as a core-belief. But its true, counsellors can help you process stuff in your past and guide you for the future but in the end, you have to do the heavy lifting and start to say "this is my life and I want to lead a full and happy one, regardless of everything and everyone else". Until you see that thats how you find peace, counselling will always fall short... The funny thing is that letting go and just accepting yourself and stopping the fight with yourself costs nothing.

Strawberry Fields

franktheplank wrote: »

I haven't read that book but I know that medication with a really good psychiatrist, who would spend time talking is what works best for me.

+1 Absolutely same thing is what worked for me and it wasn't like that was the first thing I tried.

BrianG23

Is there any method I can pull up suppressed emotions on my own and without help? Whats this I was meditating before and I felt a horrible surge of Anxiety spread over me(as if it was being unlocked/hard to explain). However if I do it again I think it would help. I simply stopped at the time because it felt like too much. holotropic breathwork ? What is that? Atm I am quite emotionless and it's quite saddening and annoying that I can no longer feel emotions the way I used too. Alchohol is the only release and I feel great(howver that can turn to **** really quick, as I cannot take conflict and get extremely unhappy if someone points out a minor flaw). I feel like crying would help but I cannot cry and haven't in about 6 years/ Well, i'm not in any horrible situation that I can't take but it is affecting my social life alot, I find it hard to keep up a conversation because I simply don't care. My recall memory is absolutely dreadful too.

lighthouse

BrianG23 wrote: »

Is there any method I can pull up suppressed emotions on my own and without help? Whats this I was meditating before and I felt a horrible surge of Anxiety spread over me(as if it was being unlocked/hard to explain). However if I do it again I think it would help. I simply stopped at the time because it felt like too much. holotropic breathwork ? What is that? Atm I am quite emotionless and it's quite saddening and annoying that I can no longer feel emotions the way I used too. Alchohol is the only release and I feel great(howver that can turn to **** really quick, as I cannot take conflict and get extremely unhappy if someone points out a minor flaw). I feel like crying would help but I cannot cry and haven't in about 6 years/ Well, i'm not in any horrible situation that I can't take but it is affecting my social life alot, I find it hard to keep up a conversation because I simply don't care. My recall memory is absolutely dreadful too.

Brian. You have answered your question. You got in touch before with strong anxiety and you stopped. That is the problem with trying to do stuff like this on your own. On your own you simply cannot cope with what comes up so you pull back. It is a dangerous process because the process of pulling back makes it harder to get in touch with these emotions again.
Holotropic breathwork is a method designed to allow painful emotions to come up. It is done in a group setting so there is support for you to be able to deal with whatever comes up.

BrianG23

Oh..that makes sense, I haven't been able to meditate properly since that time...I'll try again over the next few days and report results

Thanks

lighthouse

if you are meditating and you get in touch with strong emotions you accept them as best you can or if they are very strong just bring the focus back on your breathing if that is what you focus on. Don't dismiss the emotion but at the same time don't try and increase it either. Meditation is about acceptance. Acceptance in a strange way actually decreases the power something has over you.
Holotropic breathwork is entirely different in that you encourage the emotions in an effort to experience them and get them out of you.

KyussBishop

Holotropic breathing involves hyperventilation and is potentially dangerous no matter what way you do it, as it works by starving your brain of oxygen.

It is holistic therapy without any kind of scientific backing, which should be looked at extremely skeptically (especially seeing as it's potentially dangerous).

The Black Oil

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttUW_lCBbcQ

Spot the boardsie - 1.45 on. Kudos.

herisson

Im going to my first counselling session tomorrow. Just need to talk things out to someone i don't know and clear my head!

I dont know what to expect but im scared and nervous

lighthouse

KyussBishop wrote: »

Holotropic breathing involves hyperventilation and is potentially dangerous no matter what way you do it, as it works by starving your brain of oxygen.

It is holistic therapy without any kind of scientific backing, which should be looked at extremely skeptically (especially seeing as it's potentially dangerous).

Sorry I have to disagree with you KyussBishop. Have you ever tried it? I credit holotropic breathwork to be a major part in me dealing with the emotional trauma of my childhood and overcoming a diagnosis of bipolar and living drug free for almost the last 20 years.

lighthouse

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Im going to my first counselling session tomorrow. Just need to talk things out to someone i don't know and clear my head!

I dont know what to expect but im scared and nervous

That's normal Pixie to feel like this. The only advice I would give you is to take it easy, not be too hard on yourself and try and be yourself as much as you can. Best of luck with it.

herisson

lighthouse wrote: »

That's normal Pixie to feel like this. The only advice I would give you is to take it easy, not be too hard on yourself and try and be yourself as much as you can. Best of luck with it.

Thank you!

Still nervous though

stop animal cruelty

been a really few tough days. today was really bad. lm so lonely. all my friends are gone back to college & have stuff to do. lm at home everyday with nothing to do. lv tryed hard for a job but nothing. having social anixety doesn't help came really close today just ending it all l was so low.

so fed up.

lighthouse

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

been a really few tough days. today was really bad. lm so lonely. all my friends are gone back to college & have stuff to do. lm at home everyday with nothing to do. lv tryed hard for a job but nothing. having social anixety doesn't help came really close today just ending it all l was so low.

so fed up.

SAC did you ever consider voluntary work. Sometimes stuff like this can give you a purpose and sense of fulfillment while you are unemployed.

stop animal cruelty

lighthouse wrote: »

SAC did you ever consider voluntary work. Sometimes stuff like this can give you a purpose and sense of fulfillment while you are unemployed.

ya l have its just hard to get out there & motivated to do stuff

Wattle

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Im going to my first counselling session tomorrow. Just need to talk things out to someone i don't know and clear my head!

I dont know what to expect but im scared and nervous

Go with an open mind and try not to despair if it isn't the complete answer. We depressives tend to think in very black and white terms which harms us in the long run. There's lots of different approaches and it can be trial and error until we find the right one that suits us individually.

lighthouse

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

ya l have its just hard to get out there & motivated to do stuff

Maybe start small. Just try and do once off events where there is no pressure on you e.g. helping out a charity on a flag day

I dunno what to think about the term "depression". I've been diagnosed with it in the past but on a wikipedia session a few nights ago I read about Borderline Personality Disorder and aside from the risky sexual behaviour (:pac:) I tick pretty much all the boxes. I wondered at one stage about bipolar because of he rollercoaster I be on but it didn't seem quite extreme enough to be that.

DeVore

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Im going to my first counselling session tomorrow. Just need to talk things out to someone i don't know and clear my head!

I dont know what to expect but im scared and nervous

Don't be scared... whats to be scared of? He's not going to turn into a monster and eat you
Look at it as something positive (which it most certainly is!) and jump both feet first into it. Give it socks, tell him everything, dump your head to him and get your moneys worth!

You've taken the hardest step imho... I hope you get everything you want and need from it.

DeVore

Deleted User wrote: »

I dunno what to think about the term "depression". I've been diagnosed with it in the past but on a wikipedia session a few nights ago I read about Borderline Personality Disorder and aside from the risky sexual behaviour (:pac:) I tick pretty much all the boxes. I wondered at one stage about bipolar because of he rollercoaster I be on but it didn't seem quite extreme enough to be that.

My advice... be really careful about self diagnosing from reading the internet. Go see a counsellor and get a professional opinion. Its what you would do with things much less important that your head

lighthouse

DeVore wrote: »

Don't be scared... whats to be scared of? He's not going to turn into a monster and eat you
Look at it as something positive (which it most certainly is!) and jump both feet first into it. Give it socks, tell him everything, dump your head to him and get your moneys worth!

You've taken the hardest step imho... I hope you get everything you want and need from it.

If I was Pixie I wouldn't find your post very helpful. It doesn't matter whether objectively there is nothing to be scared of, Pixie is anxious and their feelings need to be validated here. That is what therapy is essentially about as well. I disagree with the "tell him everything" If Pixie tells everything and realizes for whatever reason this therapist/therapy isn't for them, that can be a form of re-traumatisation. That is not the way therapy works. My advice is take it easy, be comfortable with what you are saying. Therapy is a slow long term process and there will be plenty of time to "tell him everything"

DeVore

I had a great xmas and a horrible New Year. No reason, just started feeling down and decided I was "past that" and would "walk it off" so instead of facing it and dealing with it, I said "nope, not doing that" and then remembered you cant just do that. You need to process how you are feeling even if its "irrational".

So, the first serious "set back" in a long time but in truth it wasnt a set back, it was actually pretty good for clarifying how to handle my head in those situations and I wont make that mistake again. (I'll make other, new and wonderful mistakes )

New Year was just horrible and kinda lonely even though I had people around. Just had that nasty "everything is grey and it'll stay grey for the rest of your life" feeling. Luckily I grabbed a really good friend and more or less forced myself to explain to him I was feeling awful and after a good chat and a sniffle, I suddenly felt like I was on the mend. It takes me a day or two to spin back up but I know when I'm heading towards the light.

So, 2013 ... gonna be a great year for us all I hope

DeVore

lighthouse wrote: »

If I was Pixie I wouldn't find your post very helpful. It doesn't matter whether objectively there is nothing to be scared of, Pixie is anxious and their feelings need to be validated here. That is what therapy is essentially about as well. I disagree with the "tell him everything" If Pixie tells everything and realizes for whatever reason this therapist/therapy isn't for them, that can be a form of re-traumatisation. That is not the way therapy works. My advice is take it easy, be comfortable with what you are saying. Therapy is a slow long term process and there will be plenty of time to "tell him everything"

Ok, on rereading it it sounds "scoldy" which isnt what I wanted... I want "big brother telling you it'll be ok"

I'll differ with you on "telling everything" but we both agree its a good thing to go to counselling and I wish Pixie the very best with it. And a big hug.

Wibbs

DeVore wrote: »

New Year was just horrible and kinda lonely even though I had people around.

TBH D I reckon if you don't think New Years isn't a comedown, that's a sure sign you need your head read. Xmas, Xmas XMASSSSSS...... oh WTF... Early January? Arrrrrgh. I reckon that's being sensible.

DeVore

DeVore wrote: »

My advice... be really careful about self diagnosing from reading the internet. Go see a counsellor and get a professional opinion. Its what you would do with things much less important that your head

I'm not diagnosing, I just noticed a lot more boxes get ticked there than depression. I've seen a counsellor a couple of times in the past but both times I was on a big low and ran out of sessions before they could see me away from it.

KyussBishop

lighthouse wrote: »

Sorry I have to disagree with you KyussBishop. Have you ever tried it? I credit holotropic breathwork to be a major part in me dealing with the emotional trauma of my childhood and overcoming a diagnosis of bipolar and living drug free for almost the last 20 years.

It's good that you've achieved success in recovery, it's just the hyperventilation with holotropic stuff is a known potential danger; perhaps the treatment is helpful (though it could do with scientific study backing it), it just seems important to disclaimerize the potential danger, just so people have fair warning.