LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

TeddyTedson

yermandan wrote: »

Thinkin of you today bro.

I think this is the best thread since the inception of boards.

I'm teetering on the edge of something but training and lifting heavy are keeping me ok

Thank you
The gym is fantastic for relieving anxiety for me generally but today it's so bad I just couldn't face going. I'm home now and will have the rest of the day by myself and boards.
I just don't understand why I'm feeling like this, have I developed bad ways about going about dealing with my problems or is this just something stemming from my make up?

Roquentin

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Thank you
The gym is fantastic for relieving anxiety for me generally but today it's so bad I just couldn't face going. I'm home now and will have the rest of the day by myself and boards.
I just don't understand why I'm feeling like this, have I developed bad ways about going about dealing with my problems or is this just something stemming from my make up?

start cycling. Nothing beats the country roads on a fine day

wexie

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I just don't understand why I'm feeling like this, have I developed bad ways about going about dealing with my problems or is this just something stemming from my make up?

I'm not sure trying to understand is the way forward, at least not on your own. Few pages back someone said (loosely paraphrased) that the brain that got you here in the first place perhaps isn't the best tool to think your way out of it.

I've started clearing out my garden (tis a big garden) that has been quite neglected the past few years. I've found being outside in the sunshine and the physical labour is definitely working for me and between the strimmer, axe and saw it's a good way to get rid of some frustration, then at the end of the day there's still a nice fire going (sssssstt.....) to have a sneaky beer at and relax.

You're very welcome to come over and enjoy the quiet.

DeVore

First day back to the gym tomorrow after a long layoff because of a nasty chest infection. I'm not looking forward to knocking the rust off me but my mental health has definitely been poorer for not going! So in that sense I'm looking forward to it...

Thinking of everyone on the thread today, be gentle with yourself.

TeddyTedson

I recently met someone who I mentioned my sleeping problems to and they immediately asked if I had problems with anxiety. It's the first time I've talked with someone in person who seems to have to exact same anxiety problems. It's made me strangely close to them now.

Gremlinertia

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I recently met someone who I mentioned my sleeping problems to and they immediately asked if I had problems with anxiety. It's the first time I've talked with someone in person who seems to have to exact same anxiety problems. It's made me strangely close to them now.

Mostly I've just met people on boards that feel like me, but I am slow to admit my problems to people anyway.. Much more straightforward online, for me anyway.. I did have one friend who got it/ me but alas no longer.. Strange for something so commonplace that it's hard to find someone in real life that will talk about it.. Then again it's a very personal struggle on many levels..

lukesmom

Have to see the psychiatrist tomorrow my stomach in a knot over it because I have anxiety still even though I'm meditating, going with the flow, positive thinking, reiki etc. don't know what she will do with me or my meds

McChubbin

Ended up taking another week off college due to anxiety, stress and generally feeling like I want to jump off the damn 7th floor tower at the mere prospect of going in. I'm not being bullied or anything like that- I just feel that the course is not suitable for my needs and I'm only doing it to give me something to do with my days so I don't end up mooching around the house.
Thing is, I'm depressed when I go to college because I'm not being intellectually or creatively stimulated and the boredom is slowly killing me.
I've talked to my mother about the prospect of quitting but I'm going to wait until I've got the money together to pay for a course in an area I'm actually interested. No ****ing way am I staying here until January.
The sunshine helps with the dark moods so mercifully I'm not feeling too morose but it comes and goes. I definately feel better when I don't have to deal with a subject I can't stand.

DeVore

DeVore wrote: »

First day back to the gym tomorrow after a long layoff because of a nasty chest infection. I'm not looking forward to knocking the rust off me but my mental health has definitely been poorer for not going! So in that sense I'm looking forward to it...

Thinking of everyone on the thread today, be gentle with yourself.

So I was kinda anxious about going to the gym because I had been wheezing going up flights of stairs even, but things have improved such that I felt like I was really just dodging it now. So, despite dreading how sore I would be because i'm unfit (and fat!) I dragged myself into the gym and did an hour's boxing with my coach.

And it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be.

This seems to be a recurring motif with me ... the reality, when looked at in the cold light of truth, isn't nearly as bad as the hulking great monster under the bed.
Worth remembering...

looking_around

McChubbin wrote: »

Ended up taking another week off college due to anxiety, stress and generally feeling like I want to jump off the damn 7th floor tower at the mere prospect of going in. I'm not being bullied or anything like that- I just feel that the course is not suitable for my needs and I'm only doing it to give me something to do with my days so I don't end up mooching around the house.
Thing is, I'm depressed when I go to college because I'm not being intellectually or creatively stimulated and the boredom is slowly killing me.
I've talked to my mother about the prospect of quitting but I'm going to wait until I've got the money together to pay for a course in an area I'm actually interested. No ****ing way am I staying here until January.
The sunshine helps with the dark moods so mercifully I'm not feeling too morose but it comes and goes. I definately feel better when I don't have to deal with a subject I can't stand.

If you want something to do study wise, while you're waiting and whatnot.

check out the site coursera.org. Some interesting online modules there for free.
I like to sign up for a course every so often.

Call Me Jimmy

God lads I'm in a real bad spot, I feel like I've no control over anything, I'm constantly so tense it feels like I'm made of bricks, I feel so far from normalcy its like a hole too small to crawl through to get back. I'm not even sure I could get back if I gave 100% effort now, like I've gone too far. I can't come up with solutions, I feel like I can't do a thing. I feel like I'm almost mentally disabled, as in a bit slow sometimes.

looking_around

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

God lads I'm in a real bad spot, I feel like I've no control over anything, I'm constantly so tense it feels like I'm made of bricks, I feel so far from normalcy its like a hole too small to crawl through to get back. I'm not even sure I could get back if I gave 100% effort now, like I've gone too far. I can't come up with solutions, I feel like I can't do a thing. I feel like I'm almost mentally disabled, as in a bit slow sometimes.

I used to be tense 24/7. It's a horrible feeling. Worse was that I didn't notice when I was tensing up.

I do 2 things now, regularly ask myself "am I tense?" If the answer is yes (normally is.) I roll out my shoulders, stretch and breathe deeply. Alternatively, I do something physical. Digging in the garden/push ups/ etc.

Particularly making/doing something can be good. Got left over wood? make a box/a shelf/table.
Plant something in the garden.
paint the walls.
Scrub the walls/floors ..everything.

Doing stuff can relieve the tension. Particularly if you can't meditate it out. Oh and Yoga has been a bloody godsend!
________
and remember small steps, and reachable goals.

Call Me Jimmy

Well I live with my parents and I've gotten into a place where I couldn't just go to the garden and do something or build something or doing anything other than sit in my room.

I did manage to get some meditation back the last two days but I haven't gotten back to yoga, it's just so hard because when I had optimism I was doing about 1h 30m yoga and meditation a day. But when I am so scared and sad about life it's near impossible to do it. The usual.

I just I'm fretting for someone to hug, like I just haven't touched another human being in 2 or so years, I can start to feel the effects of my isolation and I'm thinking I might be one of those who won't be able to express or be involved with anyone emotionally.

I'll have to do the yoga again purely for physical reasons.

looking_around

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Well I live with my parents and I've gotten into a place where I couldn't just go to the garden and do something or build something or doing anything other than sit in my room.

I did manage to get some meditation back the last two days but I haven't gotten back to yoga, it's just so hard because when I had optimism I was doing about 1h 30m yoga and meditation a day. But when I am so scared and sad about life it's near impossible to do it. The usual.

I just I'm fretting for someone to hug, like I just haven't touched another human being in 2 or so years, I can start to feel the effects of my isolation and I'm thinking I might be one of those who won't be able to express or be involved with anyone emotionally.

I'll have to do the yoga again purely for physical reasons.

The thing is, it's harder the longer you avoid it.
I still spend the odd day where I sit and do feck all. Because of misery/no point/tired/fear etc.
But once you get started, the rest gets easier. (which I'm sure you know. It's getting started thats the hardest, but once you do so, the rest is a bit easier.)

As to the isolation. I haven't much advise for that. All my friends are through the net. I am very reclusive and struggle to meet people.
Heck I had a chance to go for a coffee with 2 people from the yoga class I go to (I find going to a class easier to keep motivated.) And I panicked and rolled out an excuse "must get the bus".
I want to actually talk to people...but I can't. (It's something I'm trying to figure out in counselling atm.)

I do have a partner. Which helps greatly. I met him through forum/dating site.
He struggles with his emotion quite a bit. And often has felt like he'd never have a lasting relationship. I'm telling you about him because of this; "I might be one of those who won't be able to express or be involved with anyone emotionally."

He's a very distant person, and it's taken alot for me not to take that personally. To understand him better. We've been together almost 4 years now.
It is very possible you'll find someone to connect to. Of course, you have to actually meet people.
If you can join clubs, go to a boards beers when they're up and other meet ups.
Though I can't give much advise on this one, I know I got really lucky to meet my partner considering how reclusive I am. And how awkward I feel in any group situations.
__
Do you by any chance meet with a psychologist or psych nurse? It was really helpful for me to "have" to see a psych nurse once every 2 weeks. (well I started at once every 4 because, it was exhausting just leaving my flat.) But that going somewhere, can help, it makes it easier, and breaks up the isolation.

Sorry, long post, but you can pull from this slump. It took me many years to feel like I could, and time again to actually do so.
Small steps.

Have a major goal you want. Something you think would make you happy or feel better. Than try and sort smaller goals.

Like "meet people".. what can you do?, join a group a support. What to do before that.. go for a walk outside, daily... once a week. Just to your front door.

Small goals like that. Idk, sorry ..long post...just..typing stuff that have helped me. gl

DeVore

Jimmy, relax, unclench... you've been here before and you'll get back to a positive state again. You did it before, just ride the rough seas out.

Force yourself to do the yoga, the physical exertion will help. It sounds like you have a lot of physical tension as well as mental. One of the big things I have realised is one you probably already know.... where the body goes the mind will follow. And vice versa.

Its been a big break through not to let my mind wander and to invent and imagine aggressive, stressful situations. The brain reacts physically to the imagination and that can be either a good thing (meditation) or a bad thing (stress). This also works in reverse. If you're body is aching, or stressed or in pain, you're mind (subconscious) will be stressed too.

Go do the yoga, you will surprise yourself.

TheSegal

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Well I live with my parents and I've gotten into a place where I couldn't just go to the garden and do something or build something or doing anything other than sit in my room.

I did manage to get some meditation back the last two days but I haven't gotten back to yoga, it's just so hard because when I had optimism I was doing about 1h 30m yoga and meditation a day. But when I am so scared and sad about life it's near impossible to do it. The usual.

I just I'm fretting for someone to hug, like I just haven't touched another human being in 2 or so years, I can start to feel the effects of my isolation and I'm thinking I might be one of those who won't be able to express or be involved with anyone emotionally.

I'll have to do the yoga again purely for physical reasons.

It's not easy what you're going through Jimmy but you'll get through it, when you need to talk everyone in this thread is here to listen to you and help point you in the right direction. Feelings of isolation can really knock you down, the worst part is the more down you feel the harder it is to get out of isolation.

Try and take things slow, try and do some of the yoga you used to do in your own home. If you were able to spend 1hr and 30mins in each session it must have been something you were both good at and enjoyed! If you can find that guy inside you who enjoyed it it will be the start of something great!

If you're not seeing a counselor i'd really recommend it. I felt isolated for over a year and still do at times after losing my father and nearly my brother. The counselor wasn't just someone I could talk to but someone I could use to get back into talking to people and highlight the things I was good at to try and build up some of my confidence. I never thought i'd be able to express myself in any shape of form as my family never spoke about how we felt or anything in that realm when I was growing up, the concept of telling someone how I felt was completely alien to me at first. But each week after counseling i'd reveal a bit more about my feelings and after a few sessions I could tell all and everything slowly started to feel better!

As I said we're all here for you Jimmy, I wish you the best and I hope you feel better soon.

handbagmad

Hi Jimmy. I sincerely hope you get to feel better soon. I too am having to use every ounce of what energy I have to get through the days lately.

Well done on the yoga and meditation.Love to try yoga myself too scared for classes, might order a DVD.

On the hug, I send you the biggest heartfelt virtual hug I can. Sometimes I think that's just what I need too.

Roquentin

cycling lads, CYCLING.

Trust me, get out on the country roads. Up the hills on a racer. Nothing beats it on a hot day. Stop then for a can of coke somewhere.

Fentdog84

Just watched this video, would like peoples opinions on it. The guy claims that depression for the most part is an ego problem amongst individuals and is caused by self absorption. Interesting way of looking at it. Is it just more psychobabble or does the guy have a point?

The One Doctor

Fentdog84 wrote: »

Just watched this video, would like peoples opinions on it. The guy claims that depression for the most part is an ego problem amongst individuals and is caused by self absorption. Interesting way of looking at it. Is it just more psychobabble or does the guy have a point?

It's psychobabble by an idiot looking for YouTube hits.

Call Me Jimmy

Thanks for the support earlier. I had a very surreal evening where I decided to play football with my brother's friends. Was good. As I said, surreal because of how it just happened out of the blue in the midst of all this that I went.

handbagmad

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Thanks for the support earlier. I had a very surreal evening where I decided to play football with my brother's friends. Was good. As I said, surreal because of how it just happened out of the blue in the midst of all this that I went.

Go you x

Wibbs

The One Doctor wrote: »

It's psychobabble by an idiot looking for YouTube hits.

And like the usual online type doing this on many a subject out there, there is always a tiny bit of "oh yea, that makes sense" and that can convince people there's a wider truth being transmitted.

With the notion that "depression for the most part is an ego problem amongst individuals and is caused by self absorption" he(and others) make a fundamental mistake and that is that they see a symptom and think it's a cause. We've moved away from that approach to medicine since we gave the heave ho to leeches and unbalanced humours. EG feeling crap with a snotty nose is a symptom of the common cold, but it is not the cause. Self absorption may certainly present as a symptom of depression(one of many), but it's not the cause and attacking the symptom may offer some relief, but the cause(s) remain and no youtuber or blogger peddling their own brand of magic bullet is gonna change that.

cena

Over the last few weeks I have been feeling down, like I'm a loser etc.

Dodd

I was 50 years old today.

I got a text from O2 to say happy birthday fair play to them.

My twin brother passed last year and don't make it to 50.

It was a day like any other of being alone but I don't mind that if I got a text from my kids just to say happy birthday.

Timmyctc

Dodd wrote: »

I was 50 years old today.

I got a text from O2 to say happy birthday fair play to them.

My twin brother passed last year and don't make it to 50.

It was a day like any other of being alone but I don't mind that if I got a text from my kids just to say happy birthday.

Well May I just say Happy Birthday big man. Unfortunately these things can happen. I forgot my oul boys birthday this year. Was raging the following week when I remembered. (On the flip side they forgot my 22nd the previous year)

Sometimes the thought is there it just absentmindedly slips by.
Sorry to hear about your brother though.

Dodd

Timmyctc wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your brother though.

Yeah,we both had the same birthday so I will always think of him on my birthday.
It's a good thing in away if you look at like that,that he will be remembered as long as I live.
I still can't beleave he is gone but we get on with life I guess.

Bye.

Sulla Felix

cena wrote: »

Over the last few weeks I have been feeling down, like I'm a loser etc.

Coming out of a similar dip myself. Feeling better the last day or so. I used to like rollercoasters...

DeVore

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Thanks for the support earlier. I had a very surreal evening where I decided to play football with my brother's friends. Was good. As I said, surreal because of how it just happened out of the blue in the midst of all this that I went.

You have to remember in future that that was "good" as you put it. I don't mean "hopefully in the future you will feel like doing that again" because you wont, or at least you might not. So you need to practically *tattoo* it on yourself "Last time I was down, I went and played football even though it was the last thing I *felt* like doing and it was good".

I have to do that all the time now. I remind myself that when I go to the gym I always leave feeling better. I often hate the idea of going but this "knowledge" now overrides that "feeling" and I go and hey, guess what, I feel better about myself. Its absolutely counter-intuitive and it works.

Write it on a poster on your wall. (its less painful than a tattoo)

TeddyTedson

DeVore wrote: »

You have to remember in future that that was "good" as you put it. I don't mean "hopefully in the future you will feel like doing that again" because you wont, or at least you might not. So you need to practically *tattoo* it on yourself "Last time I was down, I went and played football even though it was the last thing I *felt* like doing and it was good".

I have to do that all the time now. I remind myself that when I go to the gym I always leave feeling better. I often hate the idea of going but this "knowledge" now overrides that "feeling" and I go and hey, guess what, I feel better about myself. Its absolutely counter-intuitive and it works.

Write it on a poster on your wall. (its less painful than a tattoo)

What a great idea. I know that feel all to well. When ever I haven't been in a few days I feel like not going. When I really feel bad I don't want to have to see anyone which is impossible because even signing in you have to be friendly with the staff behind the desk and making eye contact can be difficult at times. Then the self conscious feeling when you actually begin to workout. I've actually gone and almost immediately left but not in many months.
The bottom line as you put it though is that I've never left feeling worse than when I went. It's always an improvement.