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The Online Dating Thread Part II **Mod Warning** Read First Post/or Post 7389

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    #3002
    The Big Red Button
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,390 ✭✭✭The Big Red Button


    Oh I don't know, I'd feel a bit let down if I thought a date went really well, and then there was no mention of meeting up again at the end of it!


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    #3003
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,391 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3004
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    How on earth do I tell him? :( It's one of those things that is especially difficult for me as saying no, is not in my culture. We just say yes to everything and then grin and bear it. I have half a mind to do that- keep going on dates with him and hope he changes his mind about me.

    I have a confession- he may have said a few nice things about the date at as we were leaving and I kept on telling him to stop because he was embarrassing me but he wouldn't so I had to pay him all these compliments because it's just awkward if you don't (or is that also just another cultural thing?) and now he thinks we are on the same page.

    I honestly don't think I can tell him that I don't think it's going to work.


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    #3005
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    How on earth do I tell him? :( It's one of those things that is especially difficult for me as saying no, is not in my culture. We just say yes to everything and then grin and bear it. I have half a mind to do that- keep going on dates with him and hope he changes his mind about me.

    I have a confession- he may have said a few nice things about the date at as we were leaving and I kept on telling him to stop because he was embarrassing me but he wouldn't so I had to pay him all these compliments because it's just awkward if you don't (or is that also just another cultural thing?) and now he thinks we are on the same page.

    I honestly don't think I can tell him that I don't think it's going to work.

    Maybe just wait and see does he contact you and just make your excuses as to why you cant/dont want to meet. You never have to see him again so once its said its done. Its never easy saying these things but i hate being put on the spot to arrange another date, would prefer just just say ill be in touch.


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    #3006
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,076 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    I have a confession- he may have said a few nice things about the date at as we were leaving and I kept on telling him to stop because he was embarrassing me but he wouldn't so I had to pay him all these compliments because it's just awkward if you don't (or is that also just another cultural thing?) and now he thinks we are on the same page.

    OOOOhhh that was a bit silly!! In that situation I usually just laugh and say thanks and try to change the subject!


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    #3007
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Just be honest with him, you seemed to have enjoyed the night out, but you aren't looking to be with him.


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    #3008
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    andreac wrote: »
    Maybe just wait and see does he contact you and just make your excuses as to why you cant/dont want to meet. You never have to see him again so once its said its done. Its never easy saying these things but i hate being put on the spot to arrange another date, would prefer just just say ill be in touch.

    He contacted me already- I got a text from him on my way home asking what I was doing next week to which I replied that I am not too sure about my schedule but will try to juggle things around and see if it works. He then texted back saying he is patient and can wait. :(

    This is what I was afraid of with dating- I am afraid of the rejecting just as much as the rejection. Although after this, I think it might make me feel better to be rejected since I feel like a right sh*te now.


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    #3009
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    How on earth do I tell him? :( It's one of those things that is especially difficult for me as saying no, is not in my culture. We just say yes to everything and then grin and bear it. I have half a mind to do that- keep going on dates with him and hope he changes his mind about me.

    I have a confession- he may have said a few nice things about the date at as we were leaving and I kept on telling him to stop because he was embarrassing me but he wouldn't so I had to pay him all these compliments because it's just awkward if you don't (or is that also just another cultural thing?) and now he thinks we are on the same page.

    I honestly don't think I can tell him that I don't think it's going to work.

    When he texts or calls you to arrange the next date be honest and tell him you are sorry but you do not want a second date, tell him you were just extremely nervous and under the pressure of being put on the spot said yes.

    I would never give someone false compliments, brush them off and change topic or make a joke of it but no point in complimenting something you don't actually believe in as it just's gets messy.


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    #3010
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    awec wrote: »
    Puts you on the spot a bit. Would ask in a text later / the next day.

    I don't see the issue with it, I always prefer to do things face to face :)

    At the end of my first date the other day I said to the girl "would you like to meet up again" and left it at that. She said yes ... so now I have made plans for the second date.

    I didn't make exact plans there and then but then started discussing them with her 2 days later :) Date number 2 is on Sunday :)


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    #3011
    KamiKazeKitten
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,399 ✭✭✭KamiKazeKitten


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    He contacted me already- I got a text from him on my way home asking what I was doing next week to which I replied that I am not too sure about my schedule but will try to juggle things around and see if it works. He then texted back saying he is patient and can wait. :(

    This is what I was afraid of with dating- I am afraid of the rejecting just as much as the rejection. Although after this, I think it might make me feel better to be rejected since I feel like a right sh*te now.

    Just be honest about it, don't play the "Oh I can't do it this week" game (not saying that you were, but just in case...)

    I hate rejecting people too, it's never easy.


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    #3012
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,391 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3013
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    How on earth do I tell him? :(

    I honestly don't think I can tell him that I don't think it's going to work.

    As a bloke I prefer to hear these things face to face (as to be honest I find doing it through other means is somewhat cowardly - but that being said I understand it might not be possible to actually see him in person for whatever reason).

    If I was that bloke I would want to know sooner rather than later, remember the longer you leave it the harder he will fall so to speak... best of luck with it and let us know how you get on :)


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    #3014
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    KamiKazeKitten wrote: »
    Just be honest about it, don't play the "Oh I can't do it this week" game (not saying that you were, but just in case...)

    I hate rejecting people too, it's never easy.

    You're right in assuming that. I probably would have to delay the awkward. Alright- I am going to 'man up' like my friends say and do it. I am cringing even now at the thought of it but I guess since I would hate for someone to do it to me, I should treat him like I would like to be treated. Should I write him now or wait until he contacts me or just message him on Pof?


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    #3015
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    awec wrote: »
    Yea but some girls might not like saying no to your face.

    I agree however to me I think not doing it face to face is a cowardly way of doing things ... maybe it stems from a girl I loved telling me through text that she was dying of leukimia and that the relationship was over because she did not want to see me suffer (which I found out 1 year later was a complete lie) :mad: much longer story but I'm going slightly off topic. Apologies.


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    #3016
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    You're right in assuming that. I probably would have to delay the awkward. Alright- I am going to 'man up' like my friends say and do it. I am cringing even now at the thought of it but I guess since I would hate for someone to do it to me, I should treat him like I would like to be treated. Should I write him now or wait until he contacts me or just message him on Pof?

    No time like the present, but if it is a choice between text and pof I'd be inclined to text. If he is a decent guy he will at least appreciate that you didn't drag it out for too long (but obviously expect that he will no doubt be a bit gutted etc)


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    #3017
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,076 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    Should I write him now or wait until he contacts me or just message him on Pof?

    Hmm I have done this before and POF'd - yes I know cowardly but there ya go! :o


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    #3018
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Maguined wrote: »
    When he texts or calls you to arrange the next date be honest and tell him you are sorry but you do not want a second date, tell him you were just extremely nervous and under the pressure of being put on the spot said yes.

    I would never give someone false compliments, brush them off and change topic or make a joke of it but no point in complimenting something you don't actually believe in as it just's gets messy.

    Oh I like that attitude :)
    Dovies wrote: »
    Hmm I have done this before and POF'd - yes I know cowardly but there ya go! :o

    At least you took the initiative though and just said it to him (rather than waiting to hear from him) :)


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    #3019
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    Thanks everyone- I appreciate all the advice. Going to text him now. :(


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    #3020
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    Thanks everyone- I appreciate all the advice. Going to text him now. :(

    It sucks doing it and it would be far easier to just ignore messages but it is much better to be honest and is the far more decent thing to do to they guy. If he is a decent mature guy he will appreciate your honesty and there should be no awkwardness between you in the future.

    One time I asked a girl out who worked in a shop close to where I work, she said yes and gave me her phone number however postponed the first time I tried to arrange anything and then ignored the second attempt to arrange anything the next week. I went into the shop after this and the poor girl was noticeably awkward and nervous in my presence so I have not been back since as I don't like making her feel bad.

    It would of been less awkward in the long run if she had honestly told me that she was not interested though I hold no ill will towards her as I know it can be a nervous and horrible thing to do, it still would of been nice though so there would be no awkwardness and I could go back to the shop for their awesome sandwiches. :pac:


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    #3021
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    Sorry to change the subject but what is with all the guys uploading indecent images of themselves on POF?? :eek:
    Ive come across several of them in the last few days, do they think its a porn site or something??


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    #3022
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Maguined wrote: »
    it still would of been nice though so there would be no awkwardness and I could go back to the shop for their awesome sandwiches. :pac:

    What a sentence lol :D
    andreac wrote: »
    Sorry to change the subject but what is with all the guys uploading indecent images of themselves on POF?? :eek:
    Ive come across several of them in the last few days, do they think its a porn site or something??

    Well I don't browse the blokes but I find it hard to believe that they would allow full nudity... what are they doing exactly? Exposing their chests or something?? It's not something I would post but you can always report the person / photo as far as I know.


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    #3023
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    awec wrote: »
    kingtut wrote: »
    I don't see the issue with it, I always prefer to do things face to face :)

    At the end of my first date the other day I said to the girl "would you like to meet up again" and left it at that. She said yes ... so now I have made plans for the second date.

    I didn't make exact plans there and then but then started discussing them with her 2 days later :) Date number 2 is on Sunday :)
    Yea but some girls might not like saying no to your face.

    And if I made them feel awkward then I'd feel awkward and bad.

    I would much rather a girl say no than to take the cowardly route and say yes, only to regret it later.


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    #3024
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I would much rather a girl say no than to take the cowardly route and say yes, only to regret it later.

    Oh exactly and I agree 100%, just making the point that I'd appreciate it if they say yes/no to my face if at all possible :)


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    #3025
    Itwasntme.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,754 ✭✭✭Itwasntme.


    andreac wrote: »
    Sorry to change the subject but what is with all the guys uploading indecent images of themselves on POF?? :eek:
    Ive come across several of them in the last few days, do they think its a porn site or something??

    Dude- I was wondering about that. I have seen more genitalia in the last week on PoF than my average 'accidental' internet sightings in a year.


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    #3026
    Maguined
    Registered Users Posts: 8,247 ✭✭✭Maguined


    kingtut wrote: »
    What a sentence lol :D

    Well she did make a damn good sandwich so that probably influenced my attraction to her in the first place. Who doesn't enjoy a good sandwich. :)


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    #3027
    kingtut
    Registered Users Posts: 6,487 ✭✭✭kingtut


    Maguined wrote: »
    Well she did make a damn good sandwich so that probably influenced my attraction to her in the first place. Who doesn't enjoy a good sandwich. :)

    Well you know what they say .... " the way to a mans heart is through his stomach" :pac:


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    #3028
    stargazer 68
    Registered Users Posts: 5,076 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    Itwasntme. wrote: »
    Dude- I was wondering about that. I have seen more genitalia in the last week on PoF than my average 'accidental' internet sightings in a year.

    Yep much more 'intimate encounters' now that normal! Whats with the married blokes (and they say they are married) looking for IE and putting their pics up? Brave or thick? :confused::eek:


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    #3029
    andreac
    Registered Users Posts: 8,000 ✭✭✭andreac


    kingtut wrote: »
    What a sentence lol :D



    Well I don't browse the blokes but I find it hard to believe that they would allow full nudity... what are they doing exactly? Exposing their chests or something?? It's not something I would post but you can always report the person / photo as far as I know.

    Full frontal nudity and erect, thats all ill say...:eek:#

    Yep, ive reported everytime. Theres one guy that has been on there about 4 times now and each time i report his profile.


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    #3030
    awec
    Administrators Posts: 53,391 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭awec


    This post has been deleted.


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    #3031
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    andreac wrote: »
    Full frontal nudity and erect, thats all ill say...:eek:#

    Bit of a mouthfull too by the looks of that smiley eh?

    :P


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