Best spoof stories you've ever heard

Rocky_Dennis

I used to work with a guy who used to tell a serious amount of spoof stories.

My favourite one was that his brother was excellent at snooker, he used to get 147s (this is the maximum score you can get in a frame of snooker) the whole time, but they were so poor back in the day, his father didn't have the money to fund his brother to pursue a snooker career.

Another one he used to come out with was that when he was younger, he had trials for Man United, but he broke his leg on the first day of the trial and it ruined his career.

Quality stuff, all you could do was laugh at him.

So AHer's, what is the best spoof story you've heard?

TeddyTedson

This thread will have lots of religious references :P


I tend to forget peoples bull**** stories. Some people are addicted to it. It can be extremely annoying!

RichieC

Both those stories are fairly plausible.. well not sure about the snooker one, not sure how much investment a career would require, though if you're getting 147s all the time I'm sure you'd find the money.

Dotrel

We had a teacher in secondary (actually had the nickname Harry Spoof) who used to come out with some whoppers.

The only one I remember is him telling us a story about when he was a small child he got his first wristwatch. He cherished the thing. One day he was at the beach with his family and he lost the watch whilst playing. He had a look for it but couldn't find it anywhere. Time came and the family to go home and he had to leave without his beloved watch.

Anyway time passed, he grew up, forgot about his loss and got on with his life. One day (about 20 years later iirc) he was back at the same beach and what should he see sticking out of the sand but his long-lost timepiece (and still working of course).

Now I'm not calling him a liar.....

Fart

Something about Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, Jahsus, etc.

The King of Moo

A friend of mine was talking to a friend of a friend he'd met a few times before.

He was talking about the time he'd met the lead singer of a then-famous band after a concert, and had a chat with him.

The friend of a friend listened patiently, then when my friend had finished his story, smiled and informed him that the story was exactly the same, down to the minute details, as an encounter he had had about a year previous and told my friend about, who had obviously forgotten who had told him the anecdote and passed it off as his own!

He used to be full of such stuff, usually centring around knowing famous people, feats of derring-do and his prowess with the ladies (all of which went unseen by others, strangely), though I don't think he spoofs so much anymore.

Pacing Mule

If anyone here went to Marian College the name Bullsh!t Bob will ring a bell.

Immaculate Pasta

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

I used to work with a guy who used to tell a serious amount of spoof stories.

My favourite one was that his brother was excellent at snooker, he used to get 147s (this is the maximum score you can get in a frame of snooker) the whole time, but they were so poor back in the day, his father didn't have the money to fund his brother to pursue a snooker career.

Another one he used to come out with was that when he was younger, he had trials for Man United, but he broke his leg on the first day of the trial and it ruined his career.

Quality stuff, all you could do was laugh at him.

You're one twisted individual to laugh at those tales. What horrible stories . Sounds like him and his brother had such bright futures ahead of them. It's a cruel world

TinfoilTinman

The King of Moo wrote: »

A friend of mine was talking to a friend of a friend he'd met a few times before.

He was talking about the time he'd met the lead singer of a then-famous band after a concert, and had a chat with him.

The friend of a friend listened patiently, then when my friend had finished his story, smiled and informed him that the story was exactly the same, down to the minute details, as an encounter he had had about a year previous and told my friend about, who had obviously forgotten who had told him the anecdote and passed it off as his own!

He used to be full of such stuff, usually centring around knowing famous people, feats of derring-do and his prowess with the ladies (all of which went unseen by others, strangely), though I don't think he spoofs so much anymore.

That reminds me.

I was friends with a lad that who would steal my stories and pass them off as his own. I was always afraid he'd kill me and take my identity.

A spoofer I lived with tried to get out of work when he found a pair of crutches in our shed. He claimed to have an ankle injury from tennis. He only ended up getting away with a week off work and had to go to work pretending to need these crutches EVERY DAY for about a month out of fear of being seen by his coworkers!

Rocky_Dennis

Immaculate Pasta wrote: »

You're one twisted individual to laugh at those tales. What horrible stories . Sounds like him and his brother had such bright futures ahead of them. It's a cruel world

I don't know if you're being sarcastic or serious but the title of the thread is SPOOF stories. These stories he told were fabricated

Kidchameleon

Dotrel wrote: »

We had a teacher in secondary (actually had the nickname Harry Spoof) who used to come out with some whoppers.

The only one I remember is him telling us a story about when he was a small child he got his first wristwatch. He cherished the thing. One day he was at the beach with his family and he lost the watch whilst playing. He had a look for it but couldn't find it anywhere. Time came and the family to go home and he had to leave without his beloved watch.

Anyway time passed, he grew up, forgot about his loss and got on with his life. One day (about 20 years later iirc) he was back at the same beach and what should he see sticking out of the sand but his long-lost timepiece (and still working of course).

Now I'm not calling him a liar.....

Not impossible I would say...

Anyhow, we got a cat years ago, had her for about 6 months and we all loved her, kids were mad about her. One day we noticed she wasnt around and of course days passed and we knew she was missing... Put up signs in shops, asked locals had they seen her, no luck. Well we moved house a year later, about 20 miles away. On the first night in our new house, guess who was in our back garden! We couldn't believe our eyes. She was on top of a neighbors shed and was afraid to come near us, she just sat there staring intently at us, but when we called her name she definitely remembered it!

Ulysses Gaze

Pretty much anything said by Ahern and FF over the last 10 years.

cruiser178

A lad I know was in court for stealing a box sun tan lotion. When asked by the judge why he needed stl and why so much of it he replied, "coz I'm going on holidays to the states judge and because I'm a very large man (he meant fat) I thought id need the whole box.
The judge didnt fall for it either.

Immaculate Pasta

Andrewh1984 wrote: »

I don't know if you're being sarcastic or serious but the title of the thread is SPOOF stories. These stories he told were fabricated

:rolleyes:

(I love you really :P)

When I was 7, I was friends with a lad in my class who told me some of the biggest spoof stories I've ever heard.

He told me that he'd been to the moon, he'd beat up 17 gypsies on his own, he had a secret tunnel in his house which went to New York, and he used to speak to The Rock from WWF on the phone for 10 minutes every night . Unfortunately I was at that age where I couldn't figure out whether he was lying or not. He had most of the class fooled because he could tell the stories so convincingly.

Yer man in question is in prison now though. Got 2 years for doing a robbery. Maybe he's relaying those stories to his cellmate right now :cool:

The Orb

A man called Brian Lenihan once stood up in the Dail and told the country that we had turned a corner.....best spoof I EVER heard....hasn't been topped yet.

upandcumming

A lad I know told us he did this to himself when we were talking about these ads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPyv7f8bp5g

Big Nasty

Kidchameleon wrote: »

Anyhow, we got a cat years ago, had her for about 6 months and we all loved her, kids were mad about her. One day we noticed she wasnt around and of course days passed and we knew she was missing... Put up signs in shops, asked locals had they seen her, no luck. Well we moved house a year later, about 20 miles away. On the first night in our new house, guess who was in our back garden! We couldn't believe our eyes. She was on top of a neighbors shed and was afraid to come near us, she just sat there staring intently at us, but when we called her name she definitely remembered it!

Who told ya that? :pac:

Ellis Dee

Domo230 wrote: »

I read about this woman who got pregnant from an affair, claimed god had impregnated her and that her child was the son of god.

Yeah, I heard that one, too. Her husband was a carpenter, who never even got the leg over her, but he believed her and helped bring up the sprog, who turned out to be a bit of a wonder, but came to a sticky end when he pissed off the ruling classes ...

You couldn't out-spoof that!:rolleyes:

Squaredude

Live with a lad who told me when he went bowling one day he accidentally threw the ball into the other unused lane beside his and knocked the power out to the whole bowling alley.He comes up with 2 or 3 stories a day which I know are complete bull.I just nod and smile and let him tell his fairytales.

Dotrel

Ellis Dee wrote: »

Yeah, I heard that one, too. Her husband was a carpenter, who never even got the leg over her, but he believed her and helped bring up the sprog, who turned out to be a bit of a wonder, but came to a sticky end when he pissed off the ruling classes ...

You couldn't out-spoof that!:rolleyes:

They did DNA tests and apparently that carpenter was the ascendant of the freakenstein in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SflqPlSQElw

(the carpenter was bitten a fly that got trapped in some amber for thousands of year or something, yeah that'll do)

John Doe1

I had a priest who told me he had sweets in his pocket, it was actually a penis, oh priests:rolleyes:

TeddyTedson

John Doe1 wrote: »

I had a priest who told me he had sweets in his pocket, it was actually a penis, oh priests:rolleyes:

I lol'd hard at this.


The comedy in AH has been great tonight:)

John Doe1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6FUQtR9W4E

0.35

Kidchameleon

MCMLXXV wrote: »

Who told ya that? :pac:

Sorry that was actually a true story, off topic I know. Just the story about the watch reminded me.

BroomBurner

A boy I went to school with told us his dad had a canon that fired dead bodies up in to space. His nan also saw a missile whizz past (slowly whizz) her front window. Oh, and that he knew a shortcut from Rathfarnham to Bray. The last one made the teacher finally snap.

tonycascarino

''Yes to Jobs..Yes to Lisbon'' was the greatest spoof I ever heard

Bryan4president

tonycascarino wrote: »

''Yes to Jobs..Yes to Lisbon'' was the greatest spoof I ever heard

Surely playing for Ireland when you're about as Irish as Gandhi must be up there as a great spoof, eh Tony ? :pac:

shofukan

Had a geography teacher who tried to convince us Vertical Limit was filmed live

livinsane

I shared a room with a compulsive liar for a year.

She told me her mother was allergic to water on her skin (she could drink it but had to use special creams to wash) - her mother was the cleaner in our school.

She also told me that the acid in her stomach was eating some muscle alive and if she didn't take Rennie and Actimel daily, she'd have to have an operation where she would be opened up for 6 hours.

Carawaystick

War of the Worlds

Orson Welles

splendid101

I had this crazy friend that used to steal my stories.

One time he told me this story about how he met a really famous rock star. I just listened to the whole story and then I was like "that's my story pal, that happened to me last year. I told you that story".

Another time he told me that his brother was excellent at snooker and used to get 147s all the time but his dad at the time was too poor to get him into the professional snooker game.

It was actually me that was really good at pool and my current dad at that time that was too poor to get me into the professional snooker game.

I get 147s all the time. Every time I play snooker I get a 147.

This other time Freddy Mercury ate my hamster out of Richard Gere.

Feckin' story stealin' b*stards.

gigino

heard the labour party man in his budget speech on Monday say the public service was taking the pain.

Considering they are paid an average of 48,000 per year + have a pension everyone else would kill for, thats the biggest spoof I ever heard.;)

Gingersnaps

A bloke I knew was always spoofing.
One day he told us that he once had two really vicious greyhounds. He put them into a barrel and secured the lid and left them overnight. The next day when he opened the barrel all that was left was their two tails. They were so vicious that they had eaten each other.

u_c_thesecond

My brother in law is a bit messed up in the head tbh, and when hes drunk he comes out with some ****

He told my partner (his brother) he had cancer and had a year to live (this was 4 years ago) he had no memory of it when sober and is still living, so havnt believed any of his stories since

Claims hes lived before and apparantly he was "there" when michael collins was killed :eek:

He was in the IRA and killed a load of people:rolleyes:

Had a prostitute tell him that she didnt want any money off him, that the pleasure he gave her was payment (HA)

I just dont listen to him anymore, i just phase him out.

TeddyTedson

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

My brother in law is a bit messed up in the head tbh, and when hes drunk he comes out with some ****

He told my partner (his brother) he had cancer and had a year to live (this was 4 years ago) he had no memory of it when sober and is still living, so havnt believed any of his stories since

Claims hes lived before and apparantly he was "there" when michael collins was killed :eek:

He was in the IRA and killed a load of people:rolleyes:

Had a prostitute tell him that she didnt want any money off him, that the pleasure he gave her was payment (HA)

I just dont listen to him anymore, i just phase him out.

sounds like a keeper

u_c_thesecond

TeddyTedson wrote: »

sounds like a keeper

thank goodness im with his brother, i dont know how his wife listens to him. At least we live 80 miles away we only see him few times a year

El Horseboxo

The biggest one was something a bunch of us busted at the same time. A fella that we knew as a bit of a spoofer that wasn't really a mate. But someone that came up and talked to us in the pub a bit. He told us he was off traveling around the world for a year. He had added most of us on facebook and he was constantly putting up crap about places he was in. But a group of us went to Galway for New Years and some of us found him working behind the bar in a pub just off Eyre Square. The fella had kept up that he was away since before the summer. Most dedicated spoofer i've ever come across.

TeddyTedson

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

thank goodness im with his brother, i dont know how his wife listens to him. At least we live 80 miles away we only see him few times a year

I suppose as a positive thing though as least you wouldn't need a TV.:D

I don't know what happens in these peoples lives that they can't shut up talking. I know a few bull ****ters and everyone knows they're full of crap, you just can't treat them like real people.

Logical Fallacy

livinsane wrote: »

She told me her mother was allergic to water on her skin (she could drink it but had to use special creams to wash) - her mother was the cleaner in our school.

There is actually a form of Urticaria that is basically an allergy to water on the skin. Contact with water will cause large and very sore welts or hives to form on the skin.

When i lived in Sandyford there was a chap near me who had it, poor bastard.

smck99

local fool once told me he was playing golf, tee'd up, took out his driver... hit a low flying plane.
there are some other classics but they'd need a separate forum tbh :P

stacexD

Aunt phoned my dad saying she had no money and was hanging teabags out on the line to dry because she ran out and wouldn't have money till the following week.
I was staying with her at the time and only back from dunnes with her where she spent over €200 on snacks, clothes and sh*te.

I dunno which was worse, the fact she told him this while I was staying with her watching her spending, or the fact she was hanging teabags out to dry so that they could be dumped back into a cup of water?

skinny90

guy i work with is the worst. he claims to have captained the roscommon minors to a connaughted title about 7years ago.googled all the local papers,didnt happen,(i won an a final with the u-12s and if you googled it youl get it on the local paper's website)
same guy goes about how he used to do body building,and had got trials for man city when he was younger,lets just say he's slightly overweight
he claims about how he won 30,000 dollers in texas hold em game in australia,and then left because he didnt like australia dont have proof him winning it but he recently bought his first car which is a 10year old fiat punto...the list goes on

Gyalist

I was at the wedding of an old school friend in the US last year. The night before the wedding we went to the church for the rehearsal, after which the groom's parents had organised a dinner for the wedding party at an upmarket local restaurant.

At the rehearsal the bride, who I had never met before, asked me if I would say a few words in Irish at the dinner. I tried to fob her off but she was insistent and persuasive, so I foolishly said yes.

Now I had the small problem of giving a toast despite not speaking a word of Irish. I'm not Irish and even though I've lived here for the past 25 years, I've not learned any Irish. However, in that time I've come across some fantastic spoofers.

Suddenly in the midst of the rehearsal I came up with a genius idea and grabbed a napkin and wrote it down.

At the dinner we were all having a great time when suddenly it was my turn to speak. I stood up, looked around the room and smiled, and confidently declaimed, "Dun Laoghaire, Glenageary, Glasthule, Dalkey. Sláinte."

goldenhoarde

Once worked with a lad who was always cold. We shared a very small office and he always had ths wee blow heater on.

One really warm summer day i had to pull the plug on it and he went "Oh i'm cold" so i said "when i was working at -40 we didn't have blow heaters we were real men" (i should say i worked in a factory that had a freezer called a spiro for fezzing the products that did operater at up to -40)

He then said where was that and i said oh that was the summer i worked on the russian trawler up near the antartic (i was reading a book that had the hero working on one for a while)

ended up telling him that it was mostly women on the ship - about 10 drop dead gorgeous girls to every man so they were juming in and out of my bed every night (i wish i wish). the storied got more outlandish as i went one - subs appearing boarded by the US coastguard for straying into us waters at one stage and they let us off because i was irish!! All way OTT and i expected him to cop on quicker!

I got two days outta this telling him stories about it but got caught out when i expanded it to me going off to kosovo to clear minefields :o

Andy!!

livinsane wrote: »

I shared a room with a compulsive liar for a year.

She told me her mother was allergic to water on her skin (she could drink it but had to use special creams to wash) - her mother was the cleaner in our school.

She also told me that the acid in her stomach was eating some muscle alive and if she didn't take Rennie and Actimel daily, she'd have to have an operation where she would be opened up for 6 hours.

You being funny? You are describing a real skin condition, and an ulcer. Both things are real.

WoollyRedHat

The following are some outlandish stories I have had told to me throughout the years, all the same guy

He met 50 Cent at a concert backstage and he then gave him his diamond watch. What a nice guy! I subsequently broke the watch by accident .

The boots he wore to school were in fact his grandfathers passed on to him and dated back to when he fought in World War 2.

He was on the dropride in funderland and he fell out during it and had the strength and ability to hoist himself back onto the ride

Last one was probably the most ridicolous one in terms of credibility but just about

Dan133269

smck99 wrote: »

local fool once told me he was playing golf, tee'd up, took out his driver... hit a low flying plane.
there are some other classics but they'd need a separate forum tbh :P

Haha that's hilarious.

Went to school with a lad who told us he had been arrested, thrown in the back of a Garda car, then he managed to break out of the handcuffs and beat up the 2 cops.

He used to tell stories about various girls he was with, threesomes etc, all horsecrap. We questioned him 1 day as to the name of the girl he was seeing, "Laura" he replied. One of the lads then asked him straight away what her surname was, "Sarah" he replied.

Ms. Pingui

A girl I went to school with was always telling us bull**** stories. She told us she was a model and she was being used for an international billboard campaign. She also told us that her mother won the lotto. Both wee utter crap of course. There are loads more crazy stories she told but I can't remember them offhand.

Another girl I know told us her mother had been in a terrible car accident and was in intensive care fighting for her life. We saw her mother in the local spar shop less than half an hour later! :rolleyes: