Breastfeeding

ilikepears

I was recently talking with my friends and the topic of breastfeeding came up The consensus was that they thought that breastfeeding was the best. I said that I would probably bottle fed and got a look of disgust from a few of the girls. I was a bit put out because while I agree that breast is best I personally feel that I wouldn't be able to do it. I do know its perfectly natural and don't find it offensive or disgusting when other women do it. But I know I would feel uncomfortable with the whole thing. I know I would find it very difficult to breastfed around others and I would feel like some kind of a cow if i was to do it. Strange I know.
I wish I didn't feel like this but I'd like to know what other women think about this. Is this me being selfish? Am I putting my needs before my child (if i have any? Personally I feel that I would have carried my baby for 9 months, I've done my job and then I can have my body back.
I thought it would be better suited here in this forum as I'd like responses from both women who have had children and those who haven't.

themadchef

I think everyone has loads of ideas of exactly how they are going to behave as a parent until the day someone put that little bundle in their arms.

My advice? Assume nothing. You will do what will feel natural to you at the time. You wont give a flying fúck what any man woman or child thinks about it. If that be boob or bottle so be it.


All im thinking now it "bitty" Lmfao

Caraville

Ok, first off I don't have any children so I can only imagine what it's like to have to make that decision.

But personally I'd like to think that if I do ever have children, that I'd give breastfeeding a go. There are many benefits so I'd like to try to pass them on to my child. If I found it too hard though, I'd stop. I think the mother's mental health is important too. I have 3 siblings and none of us were breastfed, my mother said she just found it too difficult and was so stressed and upset and in pain that she just had to stop. We all turned out ok in the end I'd like to think!!

There are some women who are very militant about it though, which I don't like. It's no one's decision but yours.

Paparazzo

First of all, I'm a bloke! But with a 12 day old boy! I'd say don't rule it out, might as well give it a go, even for 1 or 2 trys. It gets your body back in shape quicker!
But the breast police really annoy me. A few nurses in the hospital were so pro breast it's unreal. Women can feel ashamed or embarrassed if they don't do it which is wrong. Enough things to be dealing with! And they don't tell you that it can be very hard and stressful.
Public health nurse said to do it up till you're comfortable with. One day, one week, 6 weeks or whatever. But if it's not going well, it's not worth getting upset over and just bottle feed

Miss Fluff

Don't allow yourself to feel pressure from the "Breastapo". I find the way they behave insensitive and infuriating...how VERY DARE they!:mad:

I personally am outraged by how some women can make other women feel like failures/bad mothers for not choosing the breastfeeding option. I was never breastfed, nor were my brothers, and grew up to be thankfully very healthy kids.

Breast milk IS good but it still remains a choice for a mother and I would not give into pressure at all. I don't have kids yet but we're planning to start trying in the next year or two. I'm not decided whether I will or not and will decide closer to the time, Mr. Fluff supports that.

I'm thinking probably not but will keep a totally open mind.

lazygal

I'm pregnant and plan to breastfeed. My mum did it with us so I was totally used to the idea and always planned to.

As an aside, breast is best for a baby, I don't know how or why you'd be offended by a factual statement. I hear those comments about the "breastapo" on other pregnancy forums and have yet to encounter anything of the sort. A bit more understanding from both sides and those in the middle would go a long way.

I wouldn't have a "look of disgust" on my face if a friend told me she didn't want to breastfeed, I'd just want to know why she'd ruled it out before even trying it when it is the best thing for a baby.

CeNedra

I bf twice for 6 months both times. It is really tough going. In general, more restricting, exhausting & more about the Mammy (all the night feeds!!!). It hurts at the beginning (coz it isn't that easy to get right straight off). NObody told me that. I went into it green. It is really really difficult in my opinion. You have to want to do it to put yourself through it. Some people find it easy I hear, I don't know too many of them.
But, I did it, I do feel kind of proud of myself. I know I did the best I could for my two. Only stopped when they were well on the solids. If it was again I would bf again. I went into it with a total open mind, not knowing how I would feel. However, no matter what anybody says, it is not the easy option. If it is not for you, then that's grand and I really don't think you should be bothered one way or another what other people think/say. That's more a reflection on them and not you. Do what feels right and relax about the whole thing whenever you come to it!!.

The Princess Bride

I can honestly say,before I became pregnant for the 1st time, I'd never ever given breastfeeding a thought.I'd imagine most non-mothers don't give it a thought,as it's not relevant at the time.
I agree that it's a personal choice,each to their own etc......

Fast forward in my life ,I breast fed all my babies and thoroughly enjoyed it, as for feeding in public,it's not as if you have to strip off to do it(if anyone does,imo,she's either an exhibitionist or just awkward) and I never felt like a cow.()
Yes,some people take the whole no soothers/no bottles/no time away from baby issue waaaay too seriously, I didn't and was a relaxed calm mother who went with the flow (ha!)
Yes,some health professionals like to bring new mums on the guilt trip when they're feeling vulnerable post delivery - but that's only some, at the end of the day,it's down to each mother to make the decision and live with it.


( P.S all my babies slept through the night from 6-8 weeks- it can be done,ladies!)

daenerysstormborn3

I have always said that I will breastfeed and that's still the plan, however, if it doesn't work out for the very many reasons breastfeeding isn't suitable for everyone then I'll just do what's best for myself and my child.

I know a girl who wanted to breastfeed but her milk came in too late, as I don't have a child I don't understand the ins and outs of that.

I have a cousin whose eczema got so bad during her pregnancy (particularly on her breasts) that she was unable to breastfeed due to excessive pain.

I have a friend who couldn't breastfeed because she just found it too unmanageable while running a farm with her partner.

There are many completely understandable reasons why breastfeeding isn't for everyone and don't let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn't do for your child. Everyone is different, every pregnancy is different and everyone lives different lives. It is an individual choice.

It amazes me though that the likes of Boots don't offer points on their advantage card for formula for under 6 month olds so as not to promote not breastfeeding. Madness.

Breast is best. What's best is the right choice for both mother and child to make the transition into parenthood easier for both mother and child.

ted1

pixiebean22 wrote: »

It amazes me though that the likes of Boots don't offer points on their advantage card for formula for under 6 month olds so as not to promote not breastfeeding. Madness.

.

It's illegal to promote or advertise formula for children under 6 months. This is the only reason why follow on milk was created.

Misses is breast feeding at the moment its good but there are the drawbacks of me not being able to help.the crying baby when she is hungry or the issue with the delicate nipples due to baby sucking to hard. Or whatever the reason is.

Our last baby was breast fed and seems to have a.much better immune system to our friends babies who weren't.breastfed.

daenerysstormborn3

ted1 wrote: »

It's illegal to promote or advertise formula for children under 6 months. This is the only reason why follow on milk was created.

Misses is breast feeding at the moment its good but there are the drawbacks of me not being able to help.the crying baby when she is hungry or the issue with the delicate nipples due to baby sucking to hard. Or whatever the reason is.

Our last baby was breast fed and seems to have a.much better immune system to our friends babies who weren't.breastfed.

I know that. I just think it's amazing the lengths that they go to to try to make mothers feel guilty and inadequate for making their own choices.

Eviledna

pixiebean22 wrote: »

I know that. I just think it's amazing the lengths that they go to to try to make mothers feel guilty and inadequate for making their own choices.

It's not amazing really. "They" have an agenda - they want mothers to breastfeed as it proven to be healthier for the baby and therefore less costly for them with respect to healthcare, along with other benefits. Their agenda is to influence the populous to choose that option. Therefore if guilt and inadequacy is felt, the agenda is met - effective for those it influences.

Yes it's tough and harsh, especially on women who just can't feed for health reasons, but it's common in society that a commonly approved behaviour is promoted and the alternative vilified - don't break the law or you'll be punished, don't smoke or you'll die of cancer, eat healthily or you'll die young, drive slowly or you'll crash, etc. Etc.

I guess the main influence is targeted at those who simply take the attitude that "I'm not even going to try to breastfeed, it grosses me out". I'm sure the notion of childbirth grosses most people out too when they consider it thoroughly, but it's seen as a necessary task to have a child. It's the element of choice that is bandied around on this issue, "it's my body, my choice" etc. Indeed, but as with all choices, there are good choices and there are bad choices. For those who dislike breastfeeding it's simply bad luck that society deems not breastfeeding as a bad choice now due to the scientific proof of it's benefits over not breastfeeding. It's harsh on those that don't have a choice, that just can't for health reasons, but that's not who the "breastapo" is targeting.

southsiderosie

OK, the more I think about this, the more annoyed I get.

Eviledna wrote: »

It's not amazing really. "They" have an agenda - they want mothers to breastfeed people to become vegetarian as it proven to be healthier for the baby better both for overall health and the environment and therefore less costly for them with respect to healthcare, along with other benefits. Their agenda is to influence the populous to choose that option. Therefore if guilt and inadequacy is felt, the agenda is met - effective for those it influences.

If every time someone dared to eat a ham sandwich in public, they could count on some smarmy stranger wagging their finger and saying something about "Beets are best" or "tofu before turkey", people would be outraged. Why do so many women think this is acceptable when it comes to breastfeeding?

Eviledna wrote: »

It's harsh on those that don't have a choice, that just can't for health reasons, but that's not who the "breastapo" is targeting.

The 'breastapo' shouldn't be targeting anyone because women should not have to justify their reasons for deciding not to breastfeed to strangers. It is, frankly, nobody else's business.

ted1

I honestly don't see anything wrong with the government trying to promote the healthier option for babies. If people feel guilt then they got to ask them slves why?

Lots of talk her about the breastapo but to be Honest its the anti breastfeeding that seem to the more vocal and forceful in their opinion. Clear your mind and read the last few posts.

daenerysstormborn3

ted1 wrote: »

I honestly don't see anything wrong with the government trying to promote the healthier option for babies. If people feel guilt then they got to ask them slves why?

Lots of talk her about the breastapo but to be Honest its the anti breastfeeding that seem to the more vocal and forceful in their opinion. Clear your mind and read the last few posts.

Why should new mothers be made feel guilty about anything?

ted1

I said its a question they have to ask themselves. Like it or not breast is indeed best.

daenerysstormborn3

ted1 wrote: »

I said its a question they have to ask themselves. Like it or not breast is indeed best.

Best why? What proof is there that breastfed babies live better lives than non-breastfed babies.

ted1

The (WHO) World Health Organization say so, I'm an engineer and in no position to question their medical findings. They have proved that babies who are breastfed have better immune systems and are generally healthier.

Are you in a position to question their findings.

KittyeeTrix

ted1 wrote: »

I honestly don't see anything wrong with the government trying to promote the healthier option for babies. If people feel guilt then they got to ask them slves why?

Lots of talk her about the breastapo but to be Honest its the anti breastfeeding that seem to the more vocal and forceful in their opinion. Clear your mind and read the last few posts.

Most mothers who don't breastfeed feel guilty because of the mantra that "breast is best"..........

It is well documented that nutritionally breast is best but this does not mean that powdered milk is absolutely muck!!!

I think the mantra should be that "breast is a little bit better but your not gonna kill your child with powdered milk so chill out woman and quit feeling sooooo guilty"......:D

Mother of 4 myself and I really couldn't give a damn that some moms want to feed their kid on the breast as opposed to a bottle.... Each to their own!!

KittyeeTrix

ted1 wrote: »

The (WHO) World Health Organization say so, I'm an engineer and in no position to question their medical findings. They have proved that babies who are breastfed have better immune systems and are generally healthier.

Are you in a position to question their findings.

Yes, yes I am!!!
Bottlefed my 2nd child breastmilk who was premature. Fed it to him for almost 8 weeks. He was constantly sick with infections from April to December. Swore I'd never bother with breastmilk again as personally I didn't see the wonderfulness of it.....
I understand that this is not the case universally but it's my experience of it!!

daenerysstormborn3

ted1 wrote: »

The (WHO) World Health Organization say so, I'm an engineer and in no position to question their medical findings. They have proved that babies who are breastfed have better immune systems and are generally healthier.

Are you in a position to question their findings.

I suppose I am. My brother, my sister and I were all breastfed for the same amount of time. I spent the first 8 years of my life in and out of hospital. My sister has suffered from various illnesses her whole life. My brother is relatively healthy by comparison.

One of my cousins who was breastfed was extremely sick for the first two years after he was born through an infection picked up in hospital.

Paparazzo

ted1 wrote: »

I honestly don't see anything wrong with the government trying to promote the healthier option for babies. If people feel guilt then they got to ask them slves why?

Lots of talk her about the breastapo but to be Honest its the anti breastfeeding that seem to the more vocal and forceful in their opinion. Clear your mind and read the last few posts.

Anti breast feeding is more vocal and forceful? I never heard such rubbish! Who's anti breast feeding?

Ickle Magoo

It's not bottle or breast it's formula or breast - my son was bottlefed breastmilk.

Hey OP,

I think you should wait until you have kids because you never know A) how you'll feel or what you will actually be able to do.

Our wee man came very early with no suck and despite having previously had reservations about breast-feeding, ended up expressing for him for so long every one thought I was mad - no mean feat with a child who has chronic reflux!

Then when my daughter came along I was absolutely determined to breast feed and ended up with mastitis and cracked bleeding nipples and despite my, the local La Leche League and friends and family supporting me - I just couldn't physically keep it up past the 8 wk mark...

So before getting all het up about what you will or won't do - I'd wait to see that life doesn't have other ideas...and I'd always avoid telling people what you mean to do because, really, it's none of their business - and it might come back to bite you in the ass!

southsiderosie

ted1 wrote: »

I honestly don't see anything wrong with the government trying to promote the healthier option for babies. If people feel guilt then they got to ask them slves why?

Lots of talk her about the breastapo but to be Honest its the anti breastfeeding that seem to the more vocal and forceful in their opinion. Clear your mind and read the last few posts.

I don't see posts that are aggressively anti breastfeeding. They are anti nagging about breastfeeding. At the end of the day, outsiders have no knowledge of a woman's personal situation or health, so they should refrain from comment.

jaffacakesyum

I know nothing about pregnancy and breastfeeding so I'm honestly not trying to patronise people here or offend anyone; I'm just curious.

Why wouldn't people breastfeed? If it's the best possible option for your child then surely a bit of embarrassment/uncomfort is worth it?

Before I get attacked here I'd like to add that nobody should be pressurised into doing something - it's your body and your child so no one should tell you what to do with either!! I'm just curious is all.

Ickle Magoo

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

Why wouldn't people breastfeed?

Like most things in life there are pro's and con's...other people can help feed with bottles, there isn't leaky breasts, engorgement, cracked nipples, demand feeding or any of the other delights that breast feeding can bring - but then you miss out on the good stuff too, like the added immunity you pass onto your child, no sterilising, no need for trips to the shop, the fact your breast milk changes according to what your child needs and that it is going to be easier on little tums than man-made formula.

There are some women who can't breastfeed; who don't have working milk ducts, have undergone mastectomy or suffered from some other health issue that has made breast feeding difficult/impossible. Already tired and sore after birth and nine-months of incubation, sleep deprived and anxious, sometimes an alternative to breast feeding is better for everyone. I think it's really a personal choice which can even differ from child to child re how well breastfeeding goes.

I think in an ideal world everyone who can should at least try to breastfeed but hey, it's not an ideal world...if baby is healthy and mum happy, that's the most important thing, for me anyway. While I think the WHO should be pushing breastfeeding and work should be done to offer more support and acceptance around breastfeeding, tutting and peer disapproval is bang out of order. As long as Mums are doing their best and lovingly caring for their babies what they choose to do with their mammaries is up to them. :cool:

daenerysstormborn3

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Like most things in life there are pro's and con's...other people can help feed with bottles, there isn't leaky breasts, engorgement, cracked nipples, demand feeding or any of the other delights that breast feeding can bring - but then you miss out on the good stuff too, like the added immunity you pass onto your child, no sterilising, no need for trips to the shop, the fact your breast milk changes according to what your child needs and that it is going to be easier on little tums than man-made formula.

There are some women who can't breastfeed; who don't have working milk ducts, have undergone mastectomy or suffered from some other health issue that has made breast feeding difficult/impossible. Already tired and sore after birth and nine-months of incubation, sleep deprived and anxious, sometimes an alternative to breast feeding is better for everyone. I think it's really a personal choice which can even differ from child to child re how well breastfeeding goes.

I think in an ideal world everyone who can should at least try to breastfeed but hey, it's not an ideal world...if baby is healthy and mum happy, that's the most important thing, for me anyway. While I think the WHO should be pushing breastfeeding and work should be done to offer more support and acceptance around breastfeeding, tutting and peer disapproval is bang out of order. As long as Mums are doing their best and lovingly caring for their babies what they choose to do with their mammaries is up to them. :cool:

That's the most reasonable pro post I have ever seen on this topic.

Morag

Paparazzo wrote: »

Anti breast feeding is more vocal and forceful? I never heard such rubbish! Who's anti breast feeding?

When the likes of Ryan Turbidity on the national broadcaster says that a woman breastfeeding is the same as a man pissing in the street that there is quite the section of society who think breastfeeding is vile and backwards.


Frankly those women were rude and there is no excuse for rudeness, from anyone on this issue.

harrythehat

pixiebean22 wrote: »

Why should new mothers be made feel guilty about anything?

There are some things I would definitely make a new mother feel guilty about, example: smoking in the same room as a newborn

harrythehat

pixiebean22 wrote: »

I suppose I am. My brother, my sister and I were all breastfed for the same amount of time. I spent the first 8 years of my life in and out of hospital. My sister has suffered from various illnesses her whole life. My brother is relatively healthy by comparison.

One of my cousins who was breastfed was extremely sick for the first two years after he was born through an infection picked up in hospital.

Sorry but that's anecdotal cowpat. The fact that it doesn't hold true in your one particular case is not enough to disregard the findings of the World Health Organisation.

daenerysstormborn3

harrythehat wrote: »

Sorry but that's anecdotal cowpat. The fact that it doesn't hold true in your one particular case is not enough to disregard the findings of the World Health Organisation.

I was asked "are you in a position to question their findings" so I gave two examples of how the experiences of those close to me differ.

I'm not asking anyone to disregard the findings of the WHO. I don't force my opinions or experiences on anybody else. I believe it is everybody's right to choose.

daenerysstormborn3

harrythehat wrote: »

There are some things I would definitely make a new mother feel guilty about, example: smoking in the same room as a newborn

In keeping with the topic of the thread, I meant anything that doesn't necessarily have any harmful effect on the health of their child.

KittyeeTrix

pixiebean22 wrote: »

I was asked "are you in a position to question their findings" so I gave two examples of how the experiences of those close to me differ.

I'm not asking anyone to disregard the findings of the WHO. I don't force my opinions or experiences on anybody else. I believe it is everybody's right to choose.

Well said......:)

Paparazzo

To add to Ickle Magoo's post, it can be frustrating and stressful when your baby is trying to latch, and you don't know how much food your baby is getting wither when they breastfeed. Add that in with baby blues and the stress of arriving home with a baby and bottle feeding can seem so much easier!
As pointed out before, it's very hard to start out, from what I've read even mothers that swear by it say it's not easy to start with.

My wife is doing well, gave the baby formula about twice in the first week, but the boobs and baby are working great now, unless we're away for a night somewhere I reckon it'll be all breast for the first 6 months.

2 major plus points for dads if your partner breast feeds:
Your partners boobs get bigger
You can roll over and go back to sleep when the baby wakes for night feeds

southsiderosie

The WHO can say whatever they want, but they do not control social and economic conditions of countries or households.

In the US, women get very little maternity leave, and employers are not required to make accommodations for mothers who are nursing. So for many women, breastfeeding is just not a viable option - they don't get to stay home for the first six months, and they cannot pump during the day.

We've all heard breast is best. We've also heard that television and processed food are bad for young kids, but I'm not going to begrudge the fact that a 30-minute cartoon video can distract kids long enough for a mom to hop in the shower and get ready for work in peace, or that after a long day a ready-meal may be the most sane and manageable option. The day-to-day grind of managing work and life and young children is hard, and people make do however they can. Perhaps some of those choices aren't optimal, but I can't measure the costs and benefits of these for other people - only for my own family.

Honestly, I wish people would do more to mind their own business - and this applies to strangers who nag women about why they aren't breastfeeding AND those who question them for breastfeeding in public. The world would be a better place if people just kept their unsolicited opinions to themselves.

Podge_irl

pixiebean22 wrote: »

I was asked "are you in a position to question their findings" so I gave two examples of how the experiences of those close to me differ.

Which is entirely irrelevant. The WHO don't base their findings on a few anecdotal stories.

It is everybody's right to choose, but equally people have to at least acknowledge the facts to help make an informed decision.

MissElle

At the end of the day, I think the decision is entirely up to the mother. As long as the woman has been given all of the relevant information to be able to make an informed decision, I think she should be supported no matter what her choice. Although from working in a maternity hospital I know that this doesn't always happen. I hate to see women feeling bad about themselves, when it should really be their own decision as to what way they feed their baby.

daenerysstormborn3

Podge_irl wrote: »

Which is entirely irrelevant. The WHO don't base their findings on a few anecdotal stories.

It is everybody's right to choose, but equally people have to at least acknowledge the facts to help make an informed decision.

How is it irrelevant when that is what I was asked? I was merely responding to a question posted in this thread

Funnily enough I am well aware that the WHO don't base their findings on a few anecdotal stories.

Just because people choose not to breastfeed for whatever reason doesn't mean that they don't have the facts and are not making an informed decision.

Podge_irl

pixiebean22 wrote: »

How is it irrelevant when that is what I was asked? I was merely responding to a question posted in this thread

The question asked was whether you're in a position to question the WHO's findings. If you have issues with their statistical methodology or specific issues with some of their conclusions then fair enough. But saying "person A was breast fed and got sick" isn't relevant in querying their position.

Just because people choose not to breastfeed for whatever reason doesn't mean that they don't have the facts and are not making an informed decision.

I don't think it does. There are plenty or reasons not to do it. I'm just saying that people need to at least acknowledge what facts there are and not claim they're wrong unless they have a valid problem with them (I'm not suggesting you're doing this either, it's just a general comment).

Ickle Magoo

Mod hat on:

Okay folks, can we just remember this is the Ladies Lounge - primarily a forum for female posters to discuss topics from a female perspective...can we stop lecturing posters who are doing just that please.

Dudess

People refer to the "breastapo" not for saying breast is best, but for bullying women who find it very hard, and for making them feel like bad mothers. Surely the distinction is obvious?
The effects vary from woman to woman, so those who find it grand cannot speak for all mothers. Not always but it can be painful, tiring, stressful and the cause of cracked/bleeding nipples. These are things a woman who has had a difficult pregnancy and/or birth, and now a new baby, does not need.
Ideally all mothers would be breastfeeding but not all are able for it. Doesn't mean they don't want to though.

Ophiopogon

I'll throw in my two cents...

If I have children and If I am able too, I will breastfeed. I understand the potential health benefits but apart from this its free so why not. I am saying this even though to think of it now freaks me out...the thoughts of something suckling me but I also think I would get over that if I had a child.

Just on a side note as I know it was already said in this thread...I was not breastfed but my sister and cousins were. My sister developed an illness that will eventually kill her and most of my cousins get sick at the drop of a hat, whereas I have not been to the doc in over 5 years and have never had a cold or flu and I would still advocate breastfeeding . Without looking at WHO or anything else, I still would think that to have been breastfed has to be more benefical health wise.

I do know a couple of girls who have not breastfed, one did not because she believed that it would make her breasts saggy and also as she did not want to have to get up at night to feed. Others I know just got too stressed and overwhelmed, which I think can effect the milk flow, and could not do it.

TBH on the guilt note, from my limited understanding, mothers who care enough to feel guilty about anything to do with their children generally will always feel guilty about something to do with how they are raising their children no matter if anyone says something to them or not.

Dudess

I found a link once claiming breastfeeding is paedophilic. :eek:
Thought initially it was a piss-take of media hysteria (which would be funny) but don't think so... :-/

milkandsugar

Hey OP When i was pregnant with my first i hadn't a clue what I was going to do. I had the bottles in the house and formula seeing as i hadn't decided yet. when my daughter arrived i got it into my head that i had to breast feed her and I did. It isn't easy at the start and it will be only you who can feed the baby which can be very annoying. Or at least i thought it was. They other thing that got to me was never knowing how much she was getting to drink. I stopped after 6 months but i felt very proud that i was able to do it myself and i enjoyed the fact i provided for her. When i changed to bottle i thought it was more work having to wash bottles ect and at night time it was a nightmare trying to get a bottle ready. I have to say that i also enjoyed the freedom that came from bottle feeding. Not everything had to be planned around her feeds and i could leave her for longer periods of time to do what i liked. I think that my husband also liked the fact that he could feed her as well and have that bond with her.

Kimia

I don't want to breastfeed but I am not maternal at all so maybe that's something to do with it - I don't think I want children so it's hard to even imagine.

I have to say I find it strange when women breastfeed their children up to 6-7 years of age. Why would you ever encourage your child to be so physically dependant on you? It's utterly bizarre and I think way more to do with the mother's weirdness than a need of the childs.

Lorrs33

You're not being selfish. I personally don't believe breast is best. My siblings and I were all bottle fed and we turned out just like everyone else. We're not riddled with whatever the hell breast feeding is supposed to prevent. I also have a strong relationship with my mother, so that's the bonding part sorted. Whenever someone tells me breast feeding is better, I can't help but ask them if it means that I grew up wrong because I wasn't breastfed? That shuts them up quick enough. Sorry, but God I hate when people tell me what way I should feed my child!

Lola92

The thing that most people don't see is that while breast is best, it is not some kind of super drug!

We all know somebody who was breast fed and gets ill and someone who was formula fed and seems to be never sick. The fact of the matter is that some people are more genetically predisposed to illness than others. Breast milk will never stop that! It does however have many benefits that are passed on to babies.

I also have a bit of an issue with the phrase 'breast is best' - it may be best but it is just normal! That is the whole reason that women have breasts is to feed their children!!

cdaly_

milkandsugar wrote: »

I think that my husband also liked the fact that he could feed her as well and have that bond with her.

As a father, there was nothing to compare with sitting in the wee small hours with your baby in your arms gazing at him as he guzzled his milk.


Of course then there was the exhaustion of broken sleep and all that...

lazygal

If people feel guilty or whatever about how they feed their children, surely that says more about them than the message about which they feel guilty? Like I said, I plan to BF. But if it doesn't work out, we'll try formula. No biggie, and the slogan of "breast is best" will not enter my head.

Likewise, I don't get who "makes" mums feel guilty. I work in childcare and I don't judge any of the parents who work, don't work or whatever. They are all doing a pretty good job, from my perspective, and muddling through like most parents. I'll return to work after maternity leave, and I can't imagine who or what would make me or my husband feel guilty about it. Bills have to be paid and I can't imagine myself staying home, so for this and other reasons I'll be back at work.

Do people who say they were made to feel guilty by the breastfeeding message or going back to work feel guilty about not using organic babyfood or donating money to blind African orphans? I doubt it. If you feel guilty about something, either change your behaviour or decide to ignore the message, but don't whine about how the life choices of other people make you feel guilty.

Das Kitty

Ophiopogon wrote: »

TBH on the guilt note, from my limited understanding, mothers who care enough to feel guilty about anything to do with their children generally will always feel guilty about something to do with how they are raising their children no matter if anyone says something to them or not.

I don't generally feel guilty, but the crushing guilt I felt over feeding my child was almost unbearable.

I felt guilty
- when my milk didn't come in and he got jaundiced
- when he was having trouble latching and was crying up at me as if to say "why won't you feed me!"
- when I "caved" and let the midwife give him formula (that was the worst)
- when after months I was still in agony and he started losing weight as I was pushing out the feed interval to avoid the pain.
- when I finally decided that I was going to put him on formula

I never feel guilty about anything with regard to my parenting since. It was a horrible time. There's something soul destroying about doing everything you can to get your child to feed (including spending money on lactation consultants) and it not working out.

I think I'd try to breatfeed again, but if I'm honest it's mostly because all the cleaning of bottles is a pain in the arse. I'd definitely be quicker to stop if I encountered the same problems as last time though. I have permanent scarring on one of my nipples.

IvyTheTerrible

I'm expecting a baby in February and I fully intend to breastfeed.

I have noticed the "breastapo" brigade, but I have ALSO noticed the "Oh you want to breastfeed, that is so old fashioned" remarks too. (Also "you want to breastfeed after the first few weeks, ugh").

It fits with the general nosiness and "know-it-all" syndrome I have seen people show in relation to every subject.

Breastfeeding is a personal choice. No one should be made feel guilty for their choices, and I mean that for everything. If people minded their own business, life would be a lot more pleasant.