Ladies with anger problems?

shakencat

Now im generally not an angry or stressed person.


But when im angry,

I SNAP,
cant handle it.

winds me up something terrible.


:mad:

anyone else like this?

Dudess

The only times I get angry are in the car and here on Boards.

PhysiologyRocks

More road rage here...

Sometimes I seethe over stuff, but don't snap. It subsides quite promptly.

shakencat

I need to take deep breaths:(

bailarinabela

I find the worst is when something TINY sets the ball of rage rolling! :P I mean tiny like biting your gum over and over (you know it never happens just once), or someone blocking the door on your way out of a building...and then it's like a vicious domino chain!

As it happens, I'm having one of those days...

Eve_Dublin

bailarinabela wrote: »

I find the worst is when something TINY sets the ball of rage rolling! :P I mean tiny like biting your gum over and over (you know it never happens just once), or someone blocking the door on your way out of a building...and then it's like a vicious domino chain!

As it happens, I'm having one of those days...

Welcome to Boards, bailarinabela!

I get angry with my housemate (moving out in 20 days...was supposed to move out at the beginning of the month but apartment fell through.....finally got my own place today!), get angry on Boards on occasion and angry when discussing Spanish politics at the moment. Used to have a temper that would make an appearance usually after a few drinks or during a heated discussion on something I felt strongly about or with certain family members but I've learned the auld "take a deep breath and go for a walk round the block" trick and also the auld "turning 30" and losing the angst trick worked a charm as well.

Dolbert

Sometimes I'll get a day like this:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html

They usually occur on a monthly basis for some reason :pac:

Giselle

I have the more dangerously self-destructive anger that I repress and assimilate into an internal ball of undiluted rage.

One day I'll be on a water tower with a sniper rifle, aiming into McDonalds :P

I'd love to let loose. Its preferable to my unlikeable passive-agressive streak

flossie

Yup, often boil over for no reason whatsoever. See the issues afterwards, but at the time, forget it!

BallyEllen

When something makes me really angry I just keep it all in and my best way of coping is to completely ignore the person causing me the problem!!! And you'd want to be a mind reader 2 figure out why I wasn't speaking to you as invariably it would be something tiny that would send me over the edge!!

baby and crumble

Giselle wrote: »

I have the more dangerously self-destructive anger that I repress and assimilate into an internal ball of undiluted rage.

One day I'll be on a water tower with a sniper rifle, aiming into McDonalds :P

I'd love to let loose. Its preferable to my unlikeable passive-agressive streak

I am almost exactly like this. I haven't really lost my temper with someone in about 5 years, and whenever I do I go up about 3 octaves, shake uncontrollably and am unable to calm down for a long time. I hate it, I feel so out of control. I really do wish I could get angry and let myself get angry more often, because I pop, and when I do it's really not pretty.

Chipped Nails

I got told I have pent up rage the other day because I sarcastically responded to a compliment - not a genuine compliment I might add.I don't suffer fools gladly,especially drunk fools

Ophiopogon

Anger seems to be my "go to" emotion.

In any social group I'm in I seem to be thought of as "Angry unless proven otherwise".

The funny thing is is that not very many people have seen me truly angry where I end up in a boiling rage. I never really get into fights about anything and I'm not really violent but I seem to get my way at times due to the other person perception of my anger.

I was kinda hoping it would go away as I got older but it still here bubbling away.

it tends to pass pretty quickly for me
i'll rant about something but it's surface anger only really, then when i've said my piece i've moved on

i'll yell at stupid drivers though...

Eve_Dublin

baby and crumble wrote: »

I am almost exactly like this. I haven't really lost my temper with someone in about 5 years, and whenever I do I go up about 3 octaves, shake uncontrollably and am unable to calm down for a long time. I hate it, I feel so out of control. I really do wish I could get angry and let myself get angry more often, because I pop, and when I do it's really not pretty.

Yes...I know this feeling. The adreneline pumping through your veins but not in a feel-good way. Perhaps it's not age that's knocked it out of me, it's probably just less triggers and having the freedom to choose who I spend time with. I suppose in the past I'd have to put up with people who provoked this feeling (certain family members or customers when I worked in retails...or exes :cool: ).

Jen Pigs Fly

I'm generally quite laid back.

There is only one thing that can seriously anger me somethimes, that one this is ... men

I just don't appreciate being lied to or cheated on, if I catch a lad I'm going out with/seeing doing either of these I see red, especially when they blatantly lie such as:

"Oh I'm tired I'm going to bed"

And then he heads out to a night club :mad:
In fact anyone who blatantly lies to me instantly sees the 'dark side' of me.

It just angers me a lot. In every other aspect of my life I'm quite happy go lucky.

Storminateacup

I am too stubborn, firey, shortfused and headstrong for my own good. If I think it, I tend to say it. I go off on massive rants over the slightest little thing (driving past a FG election campaign poster) and will just be calming down after a rant when I'll most likely drive past another.

The least little thing will set me off but when I blow, that's generally it, I'm over it and will move on

Dudess

Yeah I will give out about something for a few minutes to vent and get it out of my system, but then it's finished with. I'd prefer to do that than get into a mood that drags on for ages and involves giving people the silent treatment.

Grrr... the above wrecks my head! If you're pissed off, spit it out!

WindSock

Yeah I get angry sometimes, but I wouldn't call it a problem. It's normal.

NicsM

I hate being told I'm just 'emotional' when I'm angry-there's a big difference :mad:

Da Shins Kelly

I'm pretty angry sometimes. Some people just really annoy me and I'm not the kind of person who can just not say something. I don't go on mad tirades against people, I just kinda get snappy or very sarcastic. If they really upset me, then they really will see me in full blown rage.

Das Kitty

If I feel angry I tend to deal with it quickly. Mostly if I think I'm angry and I think about it, it's hurt I'm feeling really. I find it easier to process when I know what the real trigger was. If it can be addressed with a person I will speak with them, otherwise I address it with myself.

I don't carry it around with me and pass it on to others.

I used to be the complete opposite but by jesus, I'm so much happier now!

I can get sudden bursts of anger in the car but usually a swearword or two will dissipate it!

Conor Bourke

I tend to get mildly annoyed quite a lot and just rant for a couple of minutes to let off steam, then it's all forgotten. I acknowledge that I'm only ranting to whichever poor soul is stuck listening to me, and apologise afterwards if I think I scared them.

I'm pretty good at keeping a cool head when people get in-my-face aggressive with me or whatever, but passive aggression is one of the surefire things to make me go abso-fúcking-lutly apeshít. I operate on a "if you have something to say then say it" basis, I might not always like what you've got to say but I respect and appreciate that you've the balls to say it to my face. I have my wee rant for myself, then it's forgotten about. Clean slate. Passive aggression, on the other hand, sends me into a murderous rage.

I haven't properly lost my temper in about 18 months- last time was when two people at work from an entirely different team conspired to interfere in my affairs and basically tried to hang me. Thankfully it backfired on them in the end but I was SO freakin' angry at the time, there was almost steam coming out of my ears. I was pacing round my house for about 30 minutes, slamming doors, ranting and raving on the phone to a colleague who was on my side. Thankfully I learned a lot from that experience and have since left that job. Hopefully it'll be a long time before the red mist descends again.

Gauge

Well for one thing I suffer from Chronic B*tchface Syndrome- basically meaning my default face according to most people is "grumpy".

People have a tendency to assume I'm angry or in a bad mood when really, that is just what my face looks like at rest, and tell me to cheer up or make a sarcastic comment about it ("Jaysus, don't smile whatever you do!") which I find quite rude and irritating and will pretty much put me into a bad mood even if I wasn't in one before. I used to just keep quiet about it but honestly, it upsets me and now if someone makes that sort of comment I will inform them that they're being rude and I really don't care if that just confirms their idea of me of a grumpy cow.

I'm not generally an angry person but (like most Irish people, I think) I have a tendency towards hyperbolic ranting and vicious sarcasm. I don't pick fights or arguments but if someone tries to provoke or insult me I WILL react (verbally, not physically!), especially if I've been drinking. And whoever provoked me will usually be sorry when I'm done giving out to them. I have a very cutting tongue!

If I think someone is acting out of line I will usually say it to them. Not so much any more because I get sick of being immediately branded a grumpy b*tch just for calling someone out on their behavior, but I find it difficult to stay quiet in those situations.

Regarding day to day angry situations... if something is irritating me my approach is to walk away from it and take a breather. I do the whole "Count to 10" thing as well. And ranting/venting is great for getting things out of my system. I have a friend that likes to rant as well. We both work jobs that can get fairly stressful and whenever we meet up we usually spent 10-15 minutes ranting/listening to the other person rant about whatever went wrong that day, and then we're done for the week!

Das Kitty

Gauge wrote: »

Well for one thing I suffer from Chronic B*tchface Syndrome- basically meaning my default face according to most people is "grumpy".

People have a tendency to assume I'm angry or in a bad mood when really, that is just what my face looks like at rest, and tell me to cheer up or make a sarcastic comment about it ("Jaysus, don't smile whatever you do!") which I find quite rude and irritating and will pretty much put me into a bad mood even if I wasn't in one before. I used to just keep quiet about it but honestly, it upsets me and now if someone makes that sort of comment I will inform them that they're being rude and I really don't care if that just confirms their idea of me of a grumpy cow.

I thought I was the only one!

If I hear "Cheer up, it might never happen!" one more time as I'm blithely minding my own business I will crack. I used to be rude when I was pregnant (I'm blaming hormones) and I'd reply "Well it just did." Oh dear, bad Kitty.

Ophiopogon

God yeah, my face is the same esp if Im thinking about something, could be a simple as "what am I gonna have for dinner" my face apparently looks like I am about to rip someones head off.

I see a slightly worried look on someone who does not know me if they ask me a question, again because my listening face is very cranky looking.

I don't know anyone who walks around with a permanent smile on their face so I don't know why people feel the need to tell me to smile.

Abi

Dudess wrote: »

The only times I get angry are in the car and here on Boards.

Ah you don't let anyone on boards piss ya off hon, life is too short for that crap


I hear ya on the car front though. I'm actually quite a placid and happy person, but once I'm in the car you might as well be beside someone else. People that don't use the correct lane on royundabouts, won't use their indicators, drive ridiculously under the speed limit - (I could go all day here), well I lose all reason. Passengers often tell me to take deep breaths because I get so wound up. It's obviously silly, but I can't help it. It annoys me that other road users are so lazy and careless, it effects other motorists.

Neyite

I worked with a girl who would get worked up about the dumbest things - some confused caller on the phone, the printer running out of ink/paper, even being asked sometimes to do things that were *gasp* in her job description.

I cant begin to describe the headwreck she was. I got the brunt of it because I was new (and therefore percieved more junior than her or something) so by doing that, she proved with her actions, despite saying otherwise, that her tantrums could be controlled - she was selective in who she ranted at - it was never the bosses, let me tell ya.

But, I handled it in a good way, by ignoring her, and soon enough she threatened to leave, and her threat was accepted gladly by managment, because they were sick of the atmosphere.

I used to be a lot like that, but I worked on it, and now I have a bit of a rant, and 5 mins later I am grand again. I realised my default reaction to the unexpected was anger and discovered that humour diffuses it perfectly. Now, I make a quip about some work F**k -up and bingo, I'm grand again. Same for the things my partner does, for instance, he "steeps" things. i.e. chucks everything into the sink and fecks off to watch the footie, while the greasy water goes cold and someone* has to put their hand into the manky cold sinkwater and pull the plug. So now I slag him off that I must burn his dinner a lot if he needs to steep stuff and wonder how I never poisoned him with all the charcoal I pass off as food. Gets the point across just as well in a way thats less damaging for our relationship.

* = me

cdaly_

"Oh dear me love there doesn't seem to be a clean plate for your dinner. Get me one out of the sink would you?..."

Dudess

Abi wrote: »

Ah you don't let anyone on boards piss ya off hon, life is too short for that crap

Lol I know :pac: In fairness, it's more certain views on Boards that bother me, rather than how people interact with me, but once I'm logged out, all forgotten. When I'm online though, it's sometimes hard not to get wound up.

Yep, prone to road rage once in a while - some people clearly got their licence out of a lucky bag! :pac:

Das Kitty

Dudess wrote: »

Lol I know :pac: In fairness, it's more certain views on Boards that bother me

I just try to remember that empty vessels make the most noise. Some opinions I see here on boards I have never ever encountered in the real world.

Azureus

I'd be pretty laid back-its really hard to get me worked up or angry, but when I am I will rant the ears off anybody for 20 mins then be done with it. Lifes too short to be permanently pissed at stuff. My mates had a bet awhile ago to see who could wind me up the most (I was unaware they were doing it on purpose) and none of them succeeded. Thought it was hilarious when I found out but I think its actually stubborness that keeps me calm as opposed to some zen spirit. I dont like anything getting the better of me enough to annoy me.

Jenneke87

Out of nowhere I can get angry at the fact that it's messy somewhere and once that happens, everything starts to aggrevate me and then I just snap.....:mad:

perri winkles

My friend call my anger my 'rage blackouts' ::o

I am quite a hot headed person by nature, I get angry very easily, but often i just rant and rave for a few minutes and then forget about it. I don't hold onto things or dwell.

Problem is I can lose my cool with someone then go back to normal a few minutes later. I often forget that other people don't forget things as essily as I do! Really need to work on it, I do kinda hate this part of my personality

Liberal Irishman

It's funny, we are so far apart in many areas but deep down, we are all the same!!!

Missmiddleton

i tend to store it all up until some poor unsuspecting person rubs me up the wrong way, not purposely of course

Posy

I tend to be pretty chilled out, especially in work (I can be a grumpy, uncommunicative b*tch in the morning- but I'm like that all mornings, to be fair) but I don't get angry very often. I work with the public, who can be pretty aggressive sometimes, but I rarely lose my cool, it's just not worth it. When I want to vent, I just go to 'Ranting and Raving' and let it out there! I don't shout often either, but I have a very loud voice so I probably never feel like I need to!

Ninaluna wrote:

I hate being told I'm just 'emotional' when I'm angry-there's a big difference :mad:

When a woman is annoyed about something, or in a temper, some men saying 'Time of the month, eh love' :rolleyes: is not the ideal way to diffuse the situation. :P

Kanoe

I only get angry when I'm tired or if I'm hungry or when I'm píssed off.

ICANN

People I know regularly tell me that I'm really patient etc. but I definitely am not on the inside!! I get really angry I just don't show it at all. I hate that the things that make me angry are stupid things like if I'm stuck walking behind someone who's walking like a snail or someone who shoves past me in a queue.

watna

I don't get properly angry that often but when I do I really lose my temper and it lasts for days until I rant a number of times and it all goes away. While I'm angry I'm like a demon stomping around the place. It really is very rare though!

People who know me well know if I've lost my temper then it's pretty serious.

Kanoe

watna wrote: »

People who know me well know if I've lost my temper then it's pretty serious.

I actually have the opposite problem, people really don't take me seriously when I get angry, they usually just rip the pish and have a giggle which is all grand and well but makes me wonder what I have to do before they realise I am actually angry, most of the options take up way too much energy than I've got and most of the time I couldn't be bothered trying to get someone to understand. I'm more inclined to be silent and angry as a result, I'm one of those people who is more inclined to cut someone out of their life rather than speak to them ever again.

Posy

Just to add, I can identify with the other sufferers of CBS (Chrinic B*tchface Syndrome).
I have often been asked 'what's wrong' or told I look like I'm in a bad mood, when I'm not really thinking about anything. I'll have to start practicing my fake 'beauty pageant' smile. :rolleyes: :pac:

jaffacakesyum

I can't remember the last time I got angry with someone apart from with myself.

whydoibother?

I think some women go out of their way to get angry about stuff. They kind of stew over stuff. I used to know one person who I think is in a perpetual state of either anger/worry over seriously minor crap. I think I may even have offended her myself on occasions because I would say something and she would start to physically quiver in front of me. I think it's rage. I generally had no clue what I'd said wrong. I think she reads things into innocent comments which were never intended as insults and looks for ways to twist them so that she get offended. It reminds me of the classic comedy scenario where a girl asks "should I wear my green dress or my red dress?" "I really like your green dress". "So what's wrong with my red dress?" We're talking that level of nonsense.

As for things that make me angry - obvious certain nasty digs (to be carefully differentiated from the above which are imagined nasty digs) and poor service when I've paid for something. Thankfully I don't get angry very often at all. I can nearly always spot when someone's trying to wind me up and when you know they're trying it's a million times harder for them.

Kanoe

whydoibother? wrote: »

I think some women go out of their way to get angry about stuff. They kind of stew over stuff. I used to know one person who I think is in a perpetual state of either anger/worry over seriously minor crap. I think I may even have offended her myself on occasions because I would say something and she would start to physically quiver in front of me. I think it's rage. I generally had no clue what I'd said wrong. I think she reads things into innocent comments which were never intended as insults and looks for ways to twist them so that she get offended. It reminds me of the classic comedy scenario where a girl asks "should I wear my green dress or my red dress?" "I really like your green dress". "So what's wrong with my red dress?" We're talking that level of nonsense.

As for things that make me angry - obvious certain nasty digs (to be carefully differentiated from the above which are imagined nasty digs) and poor service when I've paid for something. Thankfully I don't get angry very often at all. I can nearly always spot when someone's trying to wind me up and when you know they're trying it's a million times harder for them.

sounds like she just doesn't like you. she may even hate you for some unknown to all but yourself, kind of reason.


you mean winding people up like that?

whydoibother?

Kanoe wrote: »

sounds like she just doesn't like you. she may even hate you for some unknown to all but yourself, kind of reason.


you mean winding people up like that?

Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh I strongly suspect she doesn't like me, but she does seem to rage about all kinds of other things/people too. And it's kind of disappointing for someone to just decide they don't like you without having done anything to them, but I accept she is quite entitled to.

Kanoe

whydoibother? wrote: »

Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh I strongly suspect she doesn't like me, but she does seem to rage about all kinds of other things/people too. And it's kind of disappointing for someone to just decide they don't like you without having done anything to them, but I accept she is quite entitled to.

I was only having a go at winding you up O_o
Maybe there is something in it though. I can think of one or two people who would just set me off by being in the same room as them. Ah, but I love being in a perpetual state of anger.

whydoibother?

Kanoe wrote: »

I was only having a go at winding you up O_o
Maybe there is something in it though. I can think of one or two people who would just set me off by being in the same room as them. Ah, but I love being in a perpetual state of anger.

There's definitely something in it.

But do you have a reason for feeling like that about those people? As in, have they done something to you, made digs at you etc.? Or is it just something natural about them that they can't help that just irritates you?

Kanoe

whydoibother? wrote: »

There's definitely something in it.

But do you have a reason for feeling like that about those people? As in, have they done something to you, made digs at you etc.? Or is it just something natural about them that they can't help that just irritates you?

Think it's a case of familiarity breeding contempt, I would know them pretty well. It's a little bit like listening to someone eat very loudly, I just have to get out of there before I accidentally lean over and punch them in the face. And them being the kind to eat louder just to make it worse and finding it funny. yanow?

whydoibother?

Kanoe wrote: »

Think it's a case of familiarity breeding contempt, I would know them pretty well. It's a little bit like listening to someone eat very loudly, I just have to get out of there before I accidentally lean over and punch them in the face. And them being the kind to eat louder just to make it worse and finding it funny. yanow?

Yeah, I think I know what you mean. Sometimes over-familiarity means people are less worried about causing offence and say things they never would to someone else. It could be criticism, or even just offering unwanted opinions.