How long were you with your OH/ex when "I love you" was said?

LegacyUser

This came up in a conversation with friends over dinner last night. One of my friends was absolutely glowing because her boyfriend of 5 months told her over the weekend that he was completely in love with her. She was upset over some family problems and he just said he loved her to bits and it was breaking his heart to see a girl who was normally so full of life feeling so low for the past few weeks. Another friend was telling us of her worries that her boyfriend of a year hasn't said it yet, granted he treats her really well and all but she said she just wants to hear those 3 little words from someone who really means them. In my own case, I said it to a guy after a month, relationship ended after 7 months but I really believe that it was love at the time.
So just out of interest/curiosity/nosiness what was the situation surrounding you and your OH/ex saying " I love you"? How long were you together? Do you think that relationships where it is said early on are doomed? Just interested to read opinions as I think it's one of those situations where everybody is different so should make for stimulating reading.

Storminateacup

Me and my OH were best friends for about 4/5 years. There was a serious attraction there but neither of us ever acted on it. I said it to him first, embarrassingly enough. I was out one night, got very drunk and called him. He didn't pick up so I left him a voicemail, and to this day I don't even recall leaving it.

He rang me the next day, asking how my head was. I tell him that it was fine "I wasn't that drunk". He laughed and said, "you sounded it!" Freaking out, thinking of all the embarrasing things I might have said, I asked him if I was talkin to him. He said no, but I had left him a message. Recorded evidence, even worse. I asked him what it said and he said he didn't know that I was so drunk he couldn't understand a word I was saying.

A few days later, we were both drunk, chilling out. We were messing and I told him I hated him, he started laughing and said he knew I didn't because I told him I loved him. Mortified and feeling horrid, I apologised profusely, and he said "don't be sorry, I was happy you said it. I feel the same. I love you too".

And that's the start of our relationship. I remember texting him "I love you" maybe the following day after he said it and he Rang me and told me he wanted to hear me say it. .

Never looked back. Luckiest girl in the world

sarahbro

I wasn't in a relationship with my oh when i first said it. We had been chatting online for a week and then i went on a (pre arranged) holiday with my ex. Wasn't ideal but..
Anyway i knew i had major feelings for my oh at that stage so i told hIm i loved him in German (i was on holiday in Berlin) and he said it back
We met properly 2 days after i got back and ooh saying it to his face was divine! Been saying it everyday for 2 years
I don't believe in time scales for these things....if you feel it, go with it

Das Kitty

About 9 days.

I said it first, but I knew he felt it too.

LeeHoffmann

ok well I'm not going to beat the 9-day record. We first said it after 2 months, though by that stage I was barely managing to keep it in. Don't think there's an 'ideal time'

Dolbert

I think we were together nearly 3 months, he said it first. We were living in different counties at that stage and he said it hit him because it hurt so much to leave me at the end of our sporadic visits!

scottishtulip

t's funny this should come up- I'm pretty sure that I love my new boyfriend but have only been together 3 and a half months so scared to say it too early in case it scares him off! He has told me he's mad about me though so maybe I'm being silly.

Scarinae

With my boyfriend I think it must have been somewhere around a month and a half… I had left a letter in his bag while he was in an exam, so that he would see it when he came out. When he found it, he tracked me down and kissed me, then told me he loved me. It sounds a bit soon when I write it down like this, but we fell really hard for each other and it's been over four and a half years now

flossie

I was with my ex about 6 months i think. We went away for a weekend and i was almost crying because i felt so strongly for him. So i said it, dreading the response. Turns out he had told me one night about 3 months earlier whilst holding my hair out of my face as i was throwing up into the toilet (classy bird huh?! ) and i didn't remember him saying it to me. He thought i was ignoring it, lol!

Unfortunately I didn't say it to him in the last year of our 5 relationship which hurt him lots, but we both knew we were limping along and there wasn't a right time to break up (long story).

I do have a habit of telling friends i love them when copious amounts of wine have been consumed - i think it freaks some of my male friends out a bit, lol, and i have to explain that i don't mean love as in 'love'!

lilmissprincess

Told my ex after we went on a break. We'd been together 11 months and went on a break of a month, and it was in our discussions as to whether we would get back together or not. I told him he'd gotten away with an awful lot of stuff, and referenced a conversation I'd had with my friend about her relationship ( which was going through the same kind of thing, though they'd had the I love you convo about three weeks in...), and told him that I'd accepted a lot of stuff because I was in love with him. He looked at me odd, cos I'd said it in a kind of "The grass is green" way and continued with the conversation, I giggled, told him I knew I hadn't said it before but he totally knew, so screw it....
He never said it back. He said he wasn't sure he was able to, that he saw himself spending the rest of his life with me but wasn't quite able to be sure that he loved me just yet, because his idea of love had gotten so warped by his ex. We got back together and broke up a few weeks later, due to him still needing to be single while he was young apparently, but we're still good friends...

Other exes said it within a few weeks and looking back, it was just sort of funny...

Raze_them_all

The ex text me when she was mouldy drunk, wasn't that long into the relationship cos I remember ripping the piss outta her for months over it

Malari

Raze_them_all wrote: »

The ex text me when she was mouldy drunk, wasn't that long into the relationship cos I remember ripping the piss outta her for months over it

Nice! :P:eek:

It was about a week for us. He said it first, and I was a bit surprised, but I felt it too. We are still together 6 years later. We don't overuse the phrase, but every so often he says things like "I'm really happy being with you" and stuff

My first (and only other) love, he said it probably a few months in, I can't remember. Actually he thought I said it first. He misheard me :pac: I didn't correct him and he never found out.

iguana

7 weeks. It was his birthday. He said it first but I'd nearly said it about 20 minutes beforehand but bit it back in case it was too soon and he freaked out.

Neyite

I told him about 6 months in. I told him that I was saying it because I was feeling it, but I didnt want to hear it back until he meant it. It took a few weeks but he did say it back.

Raze_them_all

Malari wrote: »

Nice! :P:eek:

It was about a week for us. He said it first, and I was a bit surprised, but I felt it too. We are still together 6 years later. We don't overuse the phrase, but every so often he says things like "I'm really happy being with you" and stuff

My first (and only other) love, he said it probably a few months in, I can't remember. Actually he thought I said it first. He misheard me :pac: I didn't correct him and he never found out.

Well I liked the girl but I wasn't just going to say it just cos she did, twas grand anyway we were together for about 14 months after it anyway!

Princess Peach

Hmm it was maybe about 3/4 months in? He had said it to me first and I was sure at the time I was falling in love with him but didn't want to say till I felt it for real.

Then when I did know I wasn't with him and wasn't going to see him for a couple of weeks, but it was bursting out of me! Didn't want to tell him on the phone, so I told him I had something important to tell him in person, he knew damn well what it was! So hard to hold it in!

When I did see him then I was drunk when he picked me up. When we got back to his he asked what it was I had to tell him, I said I didn't want to while drunk but he got it out of me

We're saps and say I love you at least 10 times a day, but I like it cause I know we mean it. Never thought I would like saying it so often but I do. Much better than in my last relationship when I can literally count on one hand how many times we said it, and I heard it back even less!

Contessa Raven

I was drunk one night and he was going away to America with his friend for a month and I was trying to figure out whether I should tell him now or wait until he gets back. We were going out about 5 weeks at the time. In the end I said it and he said it back.
Then we didn't say it again for about 3 or 4 months. I think because we were both drunk when we first said it and we were worried that the other person didn't mean it.

We're together 4 and a half years now so I don't think saying it soon will doom the relationship.

OakeyDokey

3 months after we started seeing eachother, he was baby sitting one night and sent me a text asking me how I felt about him. I remember my phone went dead like two seconds after reading it and then when I finally found the charger my credit was gone! It took me about an hour to text him back but I did in the end after an apologetic text from him first saying I didn't have to answer if I didn't want to :rolleyes: I text him back and told him and then he replied the same.

Princess Peach

OakeyDokey wrote: »

3 months after we started seeing eachother, he was baby sitting one night and sent me a text asking me how I felt about him. I remember my phone went dead like two seconds after reading it and then when I finally found the charger my credit was gone! It took me about an hour to text him back but I did in the end after an apologetic text from him first saying I didn't have to answer if I didn't want to :rolleyes: I text him back and told him and then he replied the same.

Way to make a man sweat! :pac:

LegacyUser

This is very strange, I was just thinking about this today, and wondered if there was a thread on here for it!

Myself and my now boyfriend were best friends for about a year before we got together. He asked me out at one point and I said no, because I wasn't sure how I felt about him. A little while later I realised I'd been stupid, and actually really did have feelings for him. Took me a while to act on it, though, and in the meantime, he found someone else. That was what made me realise that I really loved him, but of course I couldn't say a word. When the thing with the other girl ended after a short while, I was there for him as a shoulder to cry on. As I said, we were best friends, and he said to me that night (online) "I really appreciate your help, I love you!" which he obviously didn't mean in that way, but it was still lovely to hear Not too long after all that, I told him about my feelings, and we officially "got together" the next day. I knew I loved him, but wasn't going to tell him because it was far too early. To my own surprise, he then said it to me a couple of days after we got together, this time very much in "that way" :P I was a bit wary of him saying it at first, as it hadn't been too long since the other thing had ended, but he explained that that had been a mistake, it wasn't serious at all, and he'd just been denying his own feelings for me. We're still going very strong after a year and a half, so I don't think there's any harm done

NeonCookies

We said it after about a month together, although we'd been very good friends for nearly 3 years before that. We were at my college ball. He was in a tux, I was in an evening dress...twas very romantic altogether!

I remember soooooooo nearly saying it after we'd been "official" about two weeks..we were play fighting in his house and it came so close to slipping out I literally bit my tongue. Thought I'd freak him out with it being so early. I told him about it after, and he said he was feeling the exact same way. Together nearly 2 years now

ElleEm

Oh I love the romance in this thread!!
We said it after a week or so.
He is my first love... still mad about each other six years later

phoenix833

We'd been texting for about 2-3 months before we start "dating" but it was only another 2 or so months after that. It was on New Years Eve:) A great way to start off the next year.

She's my ex now and people find it strange but I'm her best friend of the opposite sex and vice-versa. We even give each other relationship advice:D Go figure!

PlainP

Was about 3 months for me and my boyfriend, we said it then to each other but I knew after the first night we were together that I loved him. We say it to each other everyday now. I'm gushing here just thinking about him, what a sap hey, but a sap in love.......

x Purple Pawprints x

I think it was around 3 or 4 weeks after he came down to Portlaoise to see me in December of last year. We originally met in October and texted for about 5 - 6 weeks before he came down. I knew while we were texting that there was definitely a spark between us. That day in Portlaoise we hugged and held hands and kissed. A lot. Can't believe it's almost a year ago. Time flies when you're having fun.

EmptyWithMe

72 hours. Mind you, we spent 60 of those hours talking. I know, I was shocked too when he said it! Almost four years later and we're still going.

sandra06

not sure if same thing ,but my other half told me on our 2 date he was going to marry me ,he was spot on married just over a year

candy-gal1

after just over 2 weeks with the OH at the time, not together now , were together over 3 years after that though, plus it was my first and only time being in love/relationship so its always going to be quite special to me to say the least

homerun_homer

Between 1 and 2 months. I said it first and she said it back after asking me if I meant it.

Ickle Magoo

I'm an auld cynic and I did not believe there was such a things as love at first sight until I met my other half - perhaps it was lust at first sight? Anyway, we met, spent a week in each others pockets, declared we were in love and moved in together a few weeks after that.

That was the summer of 2000, wow, time flies. :pac:

Azureus

It was about a month together...he said it,really heartfelt and instinctively I laughed in his face and said 'how can you love me? You hardly know me!'. We had spent most of that month in eachothers pockets, but hadnt slept together yet and in my mind, its impossible to know, let alone love,anybody in that short a time period.

For 5-6 months after that he said it on a regular enough basis and my reply every time was 'Thanks'. We laugh about it now-I was such a bitch, but I explained to him at the time although I was crazy about him that its not something I just say. I have to really mean it, know that I mean it. Looking back i know I just had my guard up, protecting myself, because after around six months I said it back, moved in with him a few months later and its been 4.5 of the best years since

One of my friends has been with her bf for well over a year now, and although they are one of the best couples i know, they've never said I love you. It doesnt take away from their relationship though-if it feels right,say it and if it doesnt,then dont and enjoy yourself. Theres no rulebook for relationships.

LegacyUser

This thread is so lovely but it's making me sad.
I haven't had anyone say they love me in 11 years.

inlikeflynn86

Azureus wrote: »

For 5-6 months after that he said it on a regular enough basis and my reply every time was 'Thanks'.

I feel like im copying your post!!

We were together 2 months, I was 15,him 16.We were walking along(I was walking along a small wall so were the same height for once,im tiny ) and he stopped, took my hands, kissed me and said those 3 magical words.....
Me?? I said thanks and walked on :eek: I think it was the 5 month mark i said it back to him, much to his relief...

But 10 years on im still saying thanks !!!!

PeefsPixie

Me and my ex broke up this day last week... We were together a little over 2 months when he said I love you and of course I said it right back. The relationship lasted 8 months and we plan on being good friends but that was my most 'serious' relationship to date so Im finding it hard not to miss the closeness. Having someone to txt and keep you company and cuddle... Oh woe is me!! haha. Plently more fish in the sea as they say...

LaHaine

It was after a few months together but we had been friends for ages.

She said it first, looked so scared saying it! Best feeling ever because I knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart.

Spent the rest of the morning cuddling in a world of our own. Great feeling. Nice memory

dammitjanet

I love you was a big step for me and my boyfriend, it meant that we weren't going back to being "just friends" anymore. We'd been such good friends before and our biggest fear of getting together was loosing that. Even though we both say we felt it earlier, we were together six months when we first said it.
4 years on and we're better friends now and totally in love.
I love when it turns out you'd nothing to be afraid of

starlit

It was with my ex, couple of weeks but was by a text so don't think we really meant it cause we never said it to each other face to face. So don't think we really loved each other at all. I wasn't really in love with him to begin with. I fancied him yes he fancied me but don't think I fancied him enough I suppose to love him and be in love with him so don't think I have ever really been in love except adoring love with friends and family.

Acoshla

I was with my boyfriend about 6 weeks when we said it, but for a while we'd been saying this funny little phrase, "I don't like you but I don't love you" It meant that we were gone past liking each other but not ready to say I love you, it was our way of kind of making sure we knew where we stood, that it was on the verge of getting serious if we kept going the way we were going so far.

Jemmy

Every relationship has been different, had one guy tell me after 4 days (that ended pretty quick!) and one guy not tell me after a yr til I ended it! But the others have been 4-6 months and the relationships have last 3/4yrs.

I don't think you can really be in love with someone til you have time to get to know them properly. I'm sure you can love someone but being in love with them is different, or maybe I'm just a lil weird!

about 2 months, long overdue by that stage

illumi

The first time my Partner told me he loved me is when we were out fishing lol. He took me on one of his fishing trips again and while we were both standing their in the freezing cold watching the rod in the dark, all packed up in our warm clothes, with our hot cup of tea (we spend hours out, need to be warm lol) He told me he loved me. It was a funny situation as I never thought a guy would say it to me when all he could see were my eyes and a nose red from the cold. But it was still very romantic in a way. That was about 6-8 months in to our relationship. The first time I told him was about 3 months in to our relationship and he replied "that's nice". Now 6 years later we still go on those fishing trips. He really loves fishing. Now we're expecting our first child together. And every time he rubs the bump he tells me he loves me and I say "that's nice" lol. But both of us know how we feel about each other We really love each other.

x Purple Pawprints x

Some of these stories are so cute!!

we'llallhavetea_old

I dont know the exact time but drink was involved! knew I loved him because I had to nearly gag myself for a fortnight beforehand. the words just wanted to fall out everytime I opened my mouth.
now I can't stop saying it, I make myself sick! :P

saa

Before we met, here we are going to be 4 years down the road soon.

BraziliaNZ

Am I the only person reading that feels like puking from all this? Stupidly I told my ex those 3 stupid words about 2 months into seeing each other. About 9 months later we broke up, quite soon after I moved country to be with her. She never uttered them until the day she dumped me she said - "I love you but I'm not in love with you".
I will NEVER say it first again!!!

Ickle Magoo

Lol, you just sound bitter actually. :P

Ah well, her loss.

BraziliaNZ

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

Lol, you just sound bitter actually. :P

Ah well, her loss.

Well it's not her loss if she found a better looking, richer, taller, funnier new man is it? No, lose lose pour moi!
Ah no I just need a break from all that stuff, it does make you cynical though, until it happens again...

Ickle Magoo

Or doesn't happen again cos you are both madly deeply, think positively!

Das Kitty

Jaysus. How some people repeat tired breakup lines they hear on the TV and keep a straight face I will never know.

Don't regret saying it, you felt it. You'll feel that way again, maybe even moreso. Hope it's soon.

BraziliaNZ

I love you guys

Eve_Dublin

I think it's an incredibly brave thing to say to someone for the first time. To put your heart on the line like that. I've only ever been the first to say it once and that was a disaster. Happened just over a year ago...a man I'd been sleeping and hanging out with and who I presumed loved me back and wanted more. Finally plucked up the courage to tell him. He presumed we were just friends with benefits. Devastating but I look back and I'm proud I said it and found out before things went on any longer. I acted on my emotions at that time instead of pretending I felt nothing and I reckon that's something to be proud of.

8 months later, I started going out with my current boyfriend. I'd already met when I first got to Spain and spoke to him a few times. He told me he was falling in love with me pretty early on, maybe after a week or so (bleedin' latins wha!) and he told me he loved me in Spanish after maybe a month. I didn't reciprocate because I wasn't sure...2 months later I was very sure and now I'm absolutely definite. It's silly, he only says it to me in Spanish, I only say it in Irish (to make myself seem more exotic)...and we said it for the first time in English last weekend and for some reason, that kind of sealed the deal.

I've said it many times with other men and I've not meant it but I've no doubt I mean it now.