Platonic Friendships - Bunch of BS

Diddler82

Saila wrote: »

you have feelings for her, freudian slip :P

Dammit!!

Maybe it was subconcious :P

im invisible

im invisible wrote: »

it was only a joke, a bit of banter, you said as much yourself in your posts..


Anyway, my opinion would be that the longer you're in a close platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex, the more chance of one person devoloping feelings/ wanting more out of the relationship, and then things can get a bit messy

Not a funny joke to make to people who live in that country.. Her new bf in London is Vietnamese so the joke just doesn't work and sounds stupid.

Anyway, why do i even have to go on the defensive here? I said i had a plutonic friend and get attacked from all sides.

Azureus

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? My girlfriend was a hot viet model who i could link any number of articles to.. But she was stupid rich but moved to London. If you're fuking that in hotels everyday, then it doesn't really matter who ya sleep with at night.

That's a whole different thread right there! Cant say Id be too happy with my bf sleeping in the same bed as another woman for four months, even if I was a hot viet model

Definately think there are such things as platonic friendships though. Although I have gotten myself into awkward situations with male friends before by doing the oblivious to them liking me thing and it doesnt work, at all.
Once everythings upfront and honest there doesnt have to be any problems. One of my best friends is a guy-see the guy as my brother and him a sister where nothing would EVER happen, and a couple of others who just see me as one of the lads

thebostoncrab

Of course you can have platonic friends, I didn't realise people still thought otherwise!

Some of my closest friends are women who I have no desire to sleep with at all. Yes, they are attractive looking and I know alot of guys would kill to have them, but for me it would be like having sex with your sister and for them a brother.

And before people say that becoming friends with a girl first can turn into something sexual, I don't think it just develops, you know right off the bat if you would. My fiancée for example was a very close friend for 3 years before we got together, but I was attracted to her straight away. I know some will try use that as an example of platonic friendships being bull****, but once again I say that I was attracted to her at the very start, while other women I'm friends with I had no attraction to.

Frank Black

In my view, trying to be friends with people from Pluto would be very difficult if not impossible, for a start there's the sheer distance to overcome. Pluto is around 5billion km away, so it's difficult to pop around for the weekend.
Then, obvioulsy there's the significant cultural differences to overcome.

I honestly don't see how it would work out.

Joe10000

I just don't see the point in talking to women unless you are attracted to them, surely that is how we all are made.

The reverse must also be true.

Platonic relations for me are a lie, one of you always wants more. If its not you then it must be them.

davemc180

Joe10000 wrote: »

I just don't see the point in talking to women unless you are attracted to them, surely that is how we all are made.

The reverse must also be true.

Platonic relations for me are a lie, one of you always wants more. If its not you then it must be them.

exactly... if you meet a stunning looking girl for the 1st time you dont think im gonna be great mates with her... and who ever says otherwise is full of ****..

no matter what you say , your only mates , no attraction , its bull:rolleyes:

for example ya have this stunning looking girl as your friend, yas are chilling doin what ever, she bends over to pick something up, who ever says there not gonna be fixated on her hoop is a blaten liar or is gay simple as....

stupidusername

Ye must all be meeting a load of the wrong kinda people. All but one of my friends is male,my best friend is my ex,i've had sex with one of them and moved on,some of the others I know like me like that,but I know they're friends with me because they want to be friends. I wouldn't be friends with someone who only wanted to know me for sex.they'd make it pretty obvious they weren't really a friend after a short time. So yeah of course it's possible. Slept with a friend at the weekend actually with no fallout

davemc180

stupidusername wrote: »

Ye must all be meeting a load of the wrong kinda people. All but one of my friends is male,my best friend is my ex,i've had sex with one of them and moved on,some of the others I know like me like that,but I know they're friends with me because they want to be friends. I wouldn't be friends with someone who only wanted to know me for sex.they'd make it pretty obvious they weren't really a friend after a short time. So yeah of course it's possible. Slept with a friend at the weekend actually with no fallout

but you just proved the point exactly....

your best friend is your ex ( sexual partner ) you slept with 1 of your FRIENDS, you have a few other who like you in that way ( want to bang you ) and you slept with 1 the weekend...

sorry but you tried to make the point ya can have oppisite sex friends with no attraction yet you clearly pointed out it never works out..!!

1 or the other will eventually grow feeling for there friend..

Plazaman

Deleted User wrote: »

Anyway, why do i even have to go on the defensive here? I said i had a plutonic friend and get attacked from all sides.

Mickey Mouse will go ape shít if he hears you're trying to interfere with his dog.

sensibleken

So what your trying to tell us is that youre lonely and girls dont like you

stupidusername

davemc180 wrote: »

but you just proved the point exactly....

your best friend is your ex ( sexual partner ) you slept with 1 of your FRIENDS, you have a few other who like you in that way ( want to bang you ) and you slept with 1 the weekend...

sorry but you tried to make the point ya can have oppisite sex friends with no attraction yet you clearly pointed out it never works out..!!

1 or the other will eventually grow feeling for there friend..

Where did I say it never works out?? You should read it properly.

The relationship didn't work out,now we're friends,despite the attraction,i had a FB that i'm now just close friends with,a few of them fancy me,and yet are still just really good friends. So my point being it can work out and does. The guys who've fancied me and only wanted to ****,i haven't stayed friends with because they weren't friends.

Chuck Stone

stupidusername wrote: »

The guys who've fancied me and only wanted to ****,i haven't stayed friends with because they weren't friends.

4 letters huh?..

um....

Sing?

Toby Take a Bow

davemc180 wrote: »

exactly... if you meet a stunning looking girl for the 1st time you dont think im gonna be great mates with her... and who ever says otherwise is full of ****..

no matter what you say , your only mates , no attraction , its bull:rolleyes:

for example ya have this stunning looking girl as your friend, yas are chilling doin what ever, she bends over to pick something up, who ever says there not gonna be fixated on her hoop is a blaten liar or is gay simple as....

Meh. I've been friends with girls for many, many years: no attraction, and fairly good friendships. It happens.

davemc180

stupidusername wrote: »

Where did I say it never works out?? You should read it properly.

The relationship didn't work out,now we're friends,despite the attraction,i had a FB that i'm now just close friends with,a few of them fancy me,and yet are still just really good friends. So my point being it can work out and does. The guys who've fancied me and only wanted to ****,i haven't stayed friends with because they weren't friends.

but as in platonic were not talking about been best friends with your ex..

he was a sexual partner, the point im saying is you have male friends who are good friends but you know they are into you, even though they havent acted on there feelings dose not mean there not going to and thats not a platonic friendship, and sleeping with a friend at the weekend proves what were talking about..

blokes and girls very very rarley are just friends with no attraction or sexual feelings unless there gay...

davemc180

sensibleken wrote: »

So what your trying to tell us is that youre lonely and girls dont like you

this directed for me?

if so im not lonely iv a long term girlfriend, but i know what im talking about iv been in situations before with my mates and once a girl who is any way decent looking comes on the scene all the lads would be into them..

fair enough sparks mighten fly but if the oppertunity arose not 1 of them would say no...

cournioni

stupidusername wrote: »

Ye must all be meeting a load of the wrong kinda people. All but one of my friends is male,my best friend is my ex,i've had sex with one of them and moved on,some of the others I know like me like that,but I know they're friends with me because they want to be friends. I wouldn't be friends with someone who only wanted to know me for sex.they'd make it pretty obvious they weren't really a friend after a short time. So yeah of course it's possible. Slept with a friend at the weekend actually with no fallout

That will be some craic if you get a new boyfriend and you are still friends with the lads you slept with.

Gummy Panda

Yes its possible

/forever alone

Misticles

I go out with my then "platonic" friend...

Dravokivich

piff being friends with someone of the opposite sex is easy.

minidazzler

stupidusername wrote: »

Ye must all be meeting a load of the wrong kinda people. All but one of my friends is male,my best friend is my ex,i've had sex with one of them and moved on,some of the others I know like me like that,but I know they're friends with me because they want to be friends. I wouldn't be friends with someone who only wanted to know me for sex.they'd make it pretty obvious they weren't really a friend after a short time. So yeah of course it's possible. Slept with a friend at the weekend actually with no fallout

That's not a platonic friendship, there is an attraction from the lads. What they are doing is hoping the opportunity arrives for them to have sex with you as far off a possibility it is. They may also be friends with you and really like you as a person over someone to have sex with, but since they see you as someone they want to have sex with that immediately stops it being a platonic friendship.

4leto

I tried this with an x girlfriend, we would talk and go out and wind up in bed. It got ridicules after a while, we just weren't compatible as a couple, but we were attracted to each other, then we just severed links and moved on.

Cianos

I have a bunch of female friends. Anyone who thinks it's impossible probably lacks some set of social skills.

I agree that if a girl and a guy are chatting to each other all the time then it's fair to suspect that something is up. But I don't see what the big deal is with meeting up with someone who *shock* happens to be a girl and not wanting to fck them.

Logical Fallacy

creeper1 wrote: »

I dont see how a man and a woman can be just friends especially if they are of a similar age.

I mean as in calling each other up and spending time talking on the phone on a regular basis. Or meeting each other and spending time together.

If you have a girl and she is on the phone to a male voice on a regular basis that isn't her family/boss etc then it is unlikely he is "just a friend"

She is either already boneing him or has him as a plan B.

So basically what you are saying is you want to **** every girl you know...even the ugly ones.

Okay.

Dudess

minidazzler wrote: »

I used to have so much respect for you, really did enjoy alot of your posts. But this kills me. Not even once as a "ah we're bored"?

Deleted User wrote: »

Why? My girlfriend was a hot viet model who i could link any number of articles to.. But she was stupid rich but moved to London. If you're fuking that in hotels everyday, then it doesn't really matter who ya sleep with at night.

Ooh, aren't ye the mennnnnnnn...

OP, that's ridiculous - of course you can be just friends with women. Doesn't even have to be purely platonic from day one. I'm really good friends with a guy I used to sleep with.

stupidusername

davemc180 wrote: »

but as in platonic were not talking about been best friends with your ex..

he was a sexual partner, the point im saying is you have male friends who are good friends but you know they are into you, even though they havent acted on there feelings dose not mean there not going to and thats not a platonic friendship, and sleeping with a friend at the weekend proves what were talking about..

blokes and girls very very rarley are just friends with no attraction or sexual feelings unless there gay...

but what I'm saying is you can be friends without more happening. I slept with a female friend on holidays too, so why is sleeping with a male friend at the weekend making it not platonic?

cournioni wrote: »

That will be some craic if you get a new boyfriend and you are still friends with the lads you slept with.

I'll be friends with whoever I want to be. I'll remain best friends with my ex as long as it suits the two of us, and definitely won't be told I can't be friends with someone just because I've had sex with them.

minidazzler wrote: »

That's not a platonic friendship, there is an attraction from the lads. What they are doing is hoping the opportunity arrives for them to have sex with you as far off a possibility it is. They may also be friends with you and really like you as a person over someone to have sex with, but since they see you as someone they want to have sex with that immediately stops it being a platonic friendship.

hmmm I get ya. the thing is there's two issues in the OP so... can m/f friendships be platonic, AND can m/f friendships last if one likes the other.

Son Of A Vidic

creeper1 wrote: »

I dont see how a man and a woman can be just friends especially if they are of a similar age.

Larry is that you?

kfallon

4leto wrote: »

I tried this with an x girlfriend, we would talk and go out and wind up in bed. It got ridicules after a while, we just weren't compatible as a couple, but we were attracted to each other, then we just severed links and moved on.

Who ridiculed you for having sex :mad:....you had the last laugh on them tho, you emptied your bag regularly :pac:

pragmatic1

Yeah it can work. Women arent a different species. Plus its nice to be around female company.
Having said that, I've been the doormat in my past and now I'm getting chased by a female friend whos feelings I dont want to hurt.

4leto

kfallon wrote: »

Who ridiculed you for having sex :mad:....you had the last laugh on them tho, you emptied your bag regularly :pac:

It went on for about a year, it had us stuck in a dead end situation. When we eventually called it a day, she was married with a kid about 2 years later, that is what she wanted. Still happy as far as I know.

It was a kind of friends with benefits situation but not as casual as that as we were lovers. I don't regret parting, but it was hard giving it up at the time.

I do have platonic female friends, but its easier when you are older, when you have a bit more control over the lunatic between our legs.