Could you be in a lasting relationship with your complete opposite?

dark crystal

I remember being very much in love with someone years ago who was my complete opposite.
He was conservative, I was pretty liberal. He was a catholic, I was an atheist. He loved dogs, I loved cats. He preferred music, while I preferred TV. He was a spender, I was a saver.

We were madly attracted to each other and the sex was great, but beyond that, we had very little in common.

Anyway, it ended after a few years and I'm now with someone much more like me and am very happy.

Question is, is there realistically much chance of surviving a relationship where the two of you are really quite different? I know a few married couples who are nothing like each other and wonder what chance they have longterm of staying together.

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who was the complete opposite of you and how happy were you?

Full.Duck

Im in a relationship now with my complete opposite and ive never been happier. We have feck all in common but that makes for lots to talk about.

RichieC

The conservative was the spender?

yep, sounds about right.

mikom

dark crystal wrote: »

I remember being very much in love with someone years ago who was my complete opposite.
He was conservative, I was pretty liberal. He was a catholic, I was an atheist. He loved dogs, I loved cats. He preferred music, while I preferred TV. He was a spender, I was a saver.

You like potato and I like potahto,
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto,
Let's call the whole thing off

And you did.

dark crystal

RichieC wrote: »

The conservative was the spender?

yep, sounds about right.

Ah yeah, he liked the gee gees - a lot.

Spunge

An atheist liberal on boards. :eek:

Tallon

I could deffo only date a Woman

Didn't last with my complete opposite, she was beautiful, young and a nice person

ejmaztec

I've been in a lasting relationship with my complete opposite since the first time that I saw my reflection in a mirror. It was love at first sight.:P

jester77

Absolutely... but I still haven't found what I have been looking for.

Seeing as I am plump, don't like cooking, don't like cleaning, am lazy and so on... then she would have to be slim, fantastic cook, likes to keep the place tidy and has no problem getting up early on the weekends to cook me brekkie...

where are you

candy-gal1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweiQukBM_k

all depends on where your strengths together are, if its purely mostly physical then it may not last, but you never know i myself have to have it 50/50, getting on/liking someone physically and emotionally tbh

minidazzler

Depends on the differences. If they don't love sex as much as I do, I'm gone. If they listen to only sh1te music, not as a guilty pleasure, I'm out. If they are overly religious, I'm out. If they don't drink, I'm out. If they are homophobic, racist or otherwise prejudice against people (except those god damned Italians) for no reason, I'm out. So yeah, I wouldn't date or go out with someone if they were my complete opposite. I'm pretty awesome why would I want to go out with someone less awesome than I?

theTinker

Yes I believe it can last.

I think a person's opposite can really balance things out. My gf is so flighty and unplanned, I have serious doubts about her surival rate if we break up lol. On the other hand, She stops me from being a serious ole prude who does nothing but budget, plan, fix, and all the non fun parts of life.
We're going to amsterdam shortly. I want to pay off our CC debt. lol. She keeps things interesting alright

bronte

No. I'd go mad.

stupidusername

I can't imagine how it could last. One of the great things about being in a relationship is the feeling that the other person thinks much like you do,and feels the same as you about many things.it's the basis for friendships too

danniemcq

i'd like to think so but my feelings towards psychics and astrology mean that any time my OH would say oh my horoscope/stars/mystic neighbour/palm readers/mediums (you know the type of them ... con artists)said this would mean me rolling on the ground pissing myself laughing.

I don't think that could work. and if they tried to hide it from me and read/do it in private then they are lying to themselves and therefore not in a happy relationship.

They would be much better with some other dillusional person so they can live in their own little land together*



*this story may be based on actual events

charlietheminxx

I've been in a relationship with my total opposite and it didn't end well....

You're much better off when you're with someone who has some similar interests and attitudes. Obviously differences between you are necessary in a relationship and keep things interesting, but I think you have to at least be able to relate to eachother/agree on some stuff!

OneArt

Well I know I certainly could never go out with someone who was dead. Conversation for one thing would be a nightmare.

Anyone

I'm a bit of a cúnt, so yeah, a complete opposite would actually be nice.

Snakeblood

Anyone wrote: »

I'm a bit of a cúnt, so yeah, a complete opposite would actually be nice.

A dick?

MungBean

Full.Duck wrote: »

Im in a relationship now with my complete opposite and ive never been happier. We have feck all in common but that makes for lots to talk argue about.

Fixed that for ya.

Shivers26

My OH is my total opposite. We are very happy and it keeps it interesting.

I think our core values are what we have in common but personality wise, interests etc are total opposites.

Chuck Stone

Was with a girl a good while back and when she said something remotely intelligent I would say 'who were you talking to today?'

Oh lordy forgive me for my cruelty.

We first met through a shared view
she loved me
and I did too.

Mike Skinner.

VenusPlays

My complete opposite would be such an arrogant asshole










But that's never stopped me before, so sure why not?

WindSock

That would mean they have blonde hair and be a genuine chocolateface. No make up!

Kasabian

Nope, it would appear that I am one of those people that cannot have a lasting relationship with anyone.

Uriel.

Kasabian wrote: »

Nope, it would appear that I am one of those people that cannot have a lasting relationship with anyone.

Seems to be the same for me. I get bored easily

few cans?

i couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didnt enjoy a few cans

hondasam

Kasabian wrote: »

Nope, it would appear that I am one of those people that cannot have a lasting relationship with anyone.

Opposites attract, if two people are very alike then it's boring.
Couples should have different interests and be able to do their own thing. Most people will have one thing in common.

Abi

hondasam wrote: »

Opposites attract, if two people are very alike then it's boring.
Couples should have different interests and be able to do their own thing. Most people will have one thing in common.

I dunno, I had nothing in common with my ex and that didn't end well. Once you see how shit it is at the other end of the spectrum, you can appreciate being able to do things together.

Kasabian

hondasam wrote: »

Opposites attract, if two people are very alike then it's boring.
Couples should have different interests and be able to do their own thing. Most people will have one thing in common.

I am only attracted to the complete opposite it's just that I have so many lairs to my own personality I or they eventually get bored.

hondasam

Abi wrote: »

I dunno, I had nothing in common with my ex and that didn't end well. Once you see how shit it is at the other end of the spectrum, you can appreciate being able to do things together.

you have to do some things together but I could not be with my OH all the time, I like me time, it's not healthy for any relationship to be joined at the hip.
I think most people will have something, there had to be some attraction in the first place.

hondasam

Kasabian wrote: »

I am only attracted to the complete opposite it's just that I have so many lairs to my own personality I or they eventually get bored.

You bore easily or you are not attracted to the right person. Maybe you need to pick a different type or maybe you are doing it wrong.

Millicent

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Was with a girl a good while back and when she said something remotely intelligent I would say 'who were you talking to today?'

Oh lordy forgive me for my cruelty.

So your opposite is not a dick?

Azureus

Been with a complete opposite-lasted awhile but wasnt all that fun, didnt have enough in common to enjoy doing the same things and one of us would be sacrificing what we actually wanted to do for the sake of the other.

Seperate interests are essential, but more in common than not has to be a good thing!

foxyboxer

It would involve them absolutely loving The X Factor and it's ilk so........maybe.

Snowie

the oposit of me ???

some one I know please expalin what that is cause i really couldnt imagine it

Cupcake_Crisis

My ex was my complete opposite, we never agreed on anything, we fought more often than not, the main thing that caused friction was that she was a real homebody and I was a bit of a wild thang. It was stressful but we were happy and got 2 and a half years out of it so something must have been working.

Bloody hate each other now.

mikom

Kasabian wrote: »

it's just that I have so many lairs to my own personality I or they eventually get bored.

Bored of what............ the use of "lairs" instead of "layers".

Spunge

If you don't want a relationship with your opposite you are literally a homosexual.

boomkatalog

Myself and my dude are together two and a half years and we're opposites. I love talking about everything, I go into serious overshare. He never tells anyone anything. I'm frivolous, he's not. He's so much more sensible and logical than I am. Also, he's a Dub and I'm from Kerry!

The only thing we have remotely in common (besides unreal sex!) is a sense of humour, so we'd like some of the same tv progs. I reckon once you've similiar sense of humour the rest doesn't matter too much.

pragmatic1

Nah. I went out with a girl for nearly nine months where the only thing that kept us together was good sex. After the sex didnt much enjoy her company and sex gets boring with the same person after x amount of time.

Lavezzi

Men and women are opposites by nature. It's a synergy of their natural strengths that balances each other out. This is where the saying "Opposites attract" comes from.

Most of the things you claim made you and your ex-partner opposites are just conditional 'opinions' and should be irrelevant to whether you are compatible or not. Most modern people are too complex for relationships with each other to truly work anyhow. You can especially see this in Ireland where if any people are in them at all it's usually for months at best.

Millicent

Lavezzi wrote: »

Men and women are opposites by nature. It's a synergy of their natural strengths that balances each other out. This is where the saying "Opposites attract" comes from.

Most of the things you claim made you and your ex-partner opposites are just conditional 'opinions' and are irrelevant to whether you would be compatible or not. Most modern people are too complex for relationships with each other to truly work anyhow. You can especially see this in Ireland where if any people are in them at all it's usually for months at best.

Balls to all of that. I am a person, not a gender. My characteristics and quirks don't come from any "synergy of natural strengths." They come from who I am as a person.

Modern people are no more or less complex than any other people throughout history and to think so is folly in the extreme. I know plenty of couples who are together for years. We're not all flighty, gender defined, emotional goldfish, you know.

Novella

Nah. Personally, I couldn't go out with someone who was the complete opposite of me. I have done and it was a nightmare. It's not that I wanna go out with someone just like me, but someone relatively similar would be nice. Just a few common interests or beliefs or whatever.

Lavezzi

Millicent wrote: »

My characteristics and quirks don't come from any "synergy of natural strengths." They come from who I am as a person.

Read again, I never said they did. But these "characteristics and quirks" you speak of are not on their own enough to sustain an everlasting relationship with your opposite sex. For this you need a strong value set and moral compass than most humans, at least in Ireland, no longer have. That's what I was trying to get across.

Modern people are no more or less complex than any other people throughout history and to think so is folly in the extreme.

Where did you learn this? A sociology course in college? Junk-science news articles? Really wouldn't surprise me...

AckwelFoley

Yea...if she looked like halle berry

Chuck Stone

Millicent wrote: »

So your opposite is not a dick?

I know it was cruel of me to say that and I'm not proud of it. I'm not a dick normally.

She just wasn't very bright which says more about me than her tbh.

Venom

The whole opposites attract spiel is complete rubbish.

Baked.noodle

My complete opposite? But I'm so great in every way! Why would I go out with someone who isn't?

Millicent

Lavezzi wrote: »

Read again, I never said they did. But these "characteristics and quirks" you speak of are not on their own enough to sustain an everlasting relationship with your opposite sex. For this you need a strong value set and moral compass than most humans, at least in Ireland, no longer have. That's what I was trying to get across.

What's that got to do with gender besides sweet FA?

Lavezzi wrote: »

Where did you learn this? A sociology course in college? Junk-science news articles? Really wouldn't surprise me...

Eh, calm down there, Columbo. It comes from quite a few years of study, actually, as well as life experience. Go on and surprise me with the reason why I'm wrong there.