Funny work titles

Sykk

I watched a documentary on Coca Cola the other day and the guy who put the tops of the cans into the machine was called the "Technical Operator of Tinworks" or something.

A girl on facebook updated her work to "Fashion and beauty consultant". She sells jumpers and tops in a clothes shop.

Anyone else got some funny bloated titles that make the job sound much more important than it is?

godscop

Builder

The King of Moo

I remember watching Blind Date as a kid, and a female contestant who worked on the till at the perfume counter in a department store described herself as a "fragrance technician."

Kojak

T.D.

stupidusername

Boner

lastlaugh

I asked the neighbours daughter what she was going to do after her Leaving Cert last year.

"Cosmetology" she proudly proclaimed.

Now there is a fancy sounding name for Make-up.

mathie

I'd say any job at Research In Motion.

A RIM job if you will.

Wetai

Transponster

admiralofthefleet

my mate used to work on a forecourt.

he called himself a fuel iinjection technician

fullstop

Fuel injection engineer (petrol pump attendant)

Edit: damn you admiralofthefleet

Anyone

Domestic Engineer

My dad is a Bodybuilder.

He's the guy that puts the bodies of buses together, ie. all the bits the mechanics don't do, he does(seats, floors, paintwork, etc.). Think it's changed now to coachbuilder/general operative, but I still think it's funny to say he's a bodybuilder, because he looks anything but.

Shiner11

Waste management technician = binman

parker kent

stupidusername wrote: »

Boner

Ehh...what?!

Dotrel

Office Manager = secretary with diploma in musical chairs.

godscop

true-or-false wrote: »

My dad is a Bodybuilder.

He's the guy that puts the bodies of buses together, ie. all the bits the mechanics don't do, he does(seats, floors, paintwork, etc.). Think it's changed now to coachbuilder/general operative, but I still think it's funny to say he's a bodybuilder, because he looks anything but.

FALSE ?

Colmo52

Sanitation Engineer



Or Binman.

admiralofthefleet

im a chef but some fellas in work used to take the piss and call me sausage fryer #1

Blazer

A guy who used to used in a pc manufacturing company used to push consumer systems down one line and business systems down the other side.

His title? Systems Destination Analyst;)

KeithM89_old

Fudge Packer

Captain Darling

Cadburys Canal Chute Engineer.

The King of Moo

Sc@recrow wrote: »

...

Corvid petrification engineer!

starch4ser

Facilities Technician, the guy in our office that delivers the post and changes the printer cartridges.

KeithM89 wrote: »

Fudge Packer

Manhole Inspector

Dravokivich

stupidusername wrote: »

Boner

I find myself intrigued, what exactly would be the responsiblities of a Boner?

stupidusername

starch4ser wrote: »

Facilities Technician, the guy in our office that delivers the post and changes the printer cartridges.

Manhole Inspector

*snigger*

Dravokivich wrote: »

I find myself intrigued, what exactly would be the responsiblities of a Boner?

you know, I never actually clicked on those jobs. there is a recent one on FAS though, I'll tell ya this evening.

mikemac

Subway employ Sandwich Artists

Boner is a skilled job and one of the highest paid jobs you can get in a meat factory.
Not one to be sniggered at

lastlaugh

Business Analyst sounds (marginally) funnier if you prononce it 'Business Anal-yst'.

hal9000

E-mobile:
Head of doing things differently
Head of giving more
all report to
Head of Markoiting who also happens to be Head of bull$hit

mikemac

Business Development Specialist = sales rep

Saint_Mel

lastlaugh wrote: »

I asked the neighbours daughter what she was going to do after her Leaving Cert last year.

"Cosmetology" she proudly proclaimed.

Now there is a fancy sounding name for Make-up.

Well it is a kind of makey uppy name!

Voodoomelon

Guy I know was an aeronautic hygiene technician.

He cleaned the toilets for Ryanair.

foxyboxer

Financial Regulator.

smurgen

a phyical relationship facilitator - a pimp

foxyboxer

Stunt Cock Artist.

Rocky_Dennis

Dravokivich wrote: »

I find myself intrigued, what exactly would be the responsiblities of a Boner?

It is someone that de-bones the meat in a slaughterhouse.

OneArt

A burger merchant.

BopNiblets

Implementation Specialist here... I mostly work with Excel spreadsheets...

(I actually do other stuff that might be considered web implementation, but the title raised my eyebrow when I heard it)

dennyire

Admissions Consultant / Ejection Engineer.................. Bouncer

..Brian..

Sandwich Artist for someone who works in the Subway is one of the best I've seen!

Sykk

Marketing Analyst - Distributed flyers through letterboxes

Snakeblood

Solutions Architect.

I.T. is full of *****, frankly.

Sky King

Anything with 'specialist' smack of bull**** to me. You can specialise in anything ffs.

billybudd

am not sure its a work title but.......an taoiseach.

Ghandee

Bathroom attendant!

It's just a fancier title than 'shiite and pïsh cleaner-upper' !

starbelgrade

I read about a bloke who was in court & when asked by the judge what his profession was, he said, "Wealth Distribution Officer".

The judge later gave him 2 years for armed robbery.

noxqs

Evangelist,

Common in IT.

Manic Moran

Saint_Mel wrote: »

lastlaugh wrote: »

I asked the neighbours daughter what she was going to do after her Leaving Cert last year.

"Cosmetology" she proudly proclaimed.

Now there is a fancy sounding name for Make-up.

Well it is a kind of makey uppy name!

Unfortunately, not. This is the State Board of Barbering and Cosmetology.
http://www.barbercosmo.ca.gov/.
A cosmetology license is required (with test) before working as a beautician around these parts.

I'm rather proud of my job title. "Tank God". Seriously. (Army tanks, before people get smart)

NTM

mikemac

Champion

For example I'm going to do the donkey work and sort that filing system everyone complains about but does nothing about

I am now Champion for that area

mikemac

Manic Moran wrote: »

I'm rather proud of my job title. "Tank God". Seriously. (Army tanks, before people get smart)

You're a military man, hope you don't mind the question
It is on topic for a work thread

"Don't call me Sir, I work for a living"

Do the NCO's realy say that or is that just TV?

shannon_tek

Edifice consultant, chattels and public relations officer

:pac:

Manic Moran

mikemac wrote: »

You're a military man, hope you don't mind the question
It is on topic for a work thread

"Don't call me Sir, I work for a living"

Do the NCO's realy say that or is that just TV?

Not Marines. Army do, but mainly for theatrical effect.

NTM