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What happens after you give birth

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    #32
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    sambagal wrote: »
    This is probably going to sound completely stupid, but I'm absolutely terrified of what's coming because I've never given birth before and I dot know what happens directly after baby is delivered. I'm due to deliver in holles street in march 2014 and have myself in a complete state at this stage because I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I will be on my own for the whole thing so don't have a birth partner or anyone like that. I'm sorry if it sounds really stupid but everywhere I read says that dad does this and dad does that, it's just me and my little bubs and I'm terrified

    It doesn't have to be the dad at all. Your own parents, a friend, sibling or doula would be fine.


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    #33
    Sweet_pea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 204 ✭✭Sweet_pea


    I don't have a birthing partner either, was a bit worried about it too but actually feel pretty prepared for it now. My advice is to read up on your choices during the labor and have a clear birth plan,(although obviously they don't always go to plan anyway)

    I've been told I won't be left alone at all once I'm in the labor ward, I'm on the domino scheme and so am lucky to have access to some lovely midwives.

    I considered a doula as mentioned but can't afford one but if you are in position to then do have a look at them.

    I know it's easy to freak out but really you can't afford too, you need to understand what can happen during labor so if something comes up you have some idea of what you want to happen.


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    #34
    Moonbeam
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,953 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    sambagal wrote: »
    This is probably going to sound completely stupid, but I'm absolutely terrified of what's coming because I've never given birth before and I dot know what happens directly after baby is delivered. I'm due to deliver in holles street in march 2014 and have myself in a complete state at this stage because I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I will be on my own for the whole thing so don't have a birth partner or anyone like that. I'm sorry if it sounds really stupid but everywhere I read says that dad does this and dad does that, it's just me and my little bubs and I'm terrified

    It will be fine,giving birth is the hardest part and I would bring a friend with you if you can just because it is a bit scary.
    I have had 3 in Holles St and during birth the midwives are great. I am due my 4th in April and going to Holles St too.


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    #35
    nikpmup
    Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    I can't praise Holles Street enough, they'll really look after you during the birth. If you've any concerns, raise them straight away and they'll do your best to help you out. The midwives are lovely :)


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    #36
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    sambagal wrote: »
    Hi there, thanks for answering me. No I have no birth partner at all. His family don't want to know because of our situation, you see he was married ad split up with his wife then we got together, they never wanted to know, we lost our first baby in January then I fell pregnant again in July. It came out that he had cheated on me with his ex wife and got her pregnant she delivered a healthy boy in September and me and him have split up, ed working things out with her so I don't exist anymore. my family don't want to know insofar as my brother and sister hasn't spoken to me for over a year and don't want to know. My mum and dad have said they will support me after the baby is born so I can go back to work but they don't want to be involved. I don't have very many friends but the ones I do, while they are great and supportive and really want to help where they can, they won't be in a position to be with me in march with work and their own families, so I really am alone and know nothing and am very scared because I don't know what happens as soon as she's born and what I have to do. Or what the midwives do. I'm sorry I know I sound really stupid but I'm so scared.

    Hi sambagal, I'm also giving birth in Holles st in March 2014. It willbe my second. I would really advise you go to the antenatal classes they provide there as these classes will tell you nearly everything you need to know. The midwives who deliver the classes are really approachable and you really can ask them anything. Just remember, every woman who has given birth initially doesn't know what to expect... Hmmm perhaps unless they're a midwife or obstetrician... But even then every birth is different. It takes a lot of reading or asking questions or talking to people before you will have an idea of what to expect and perhaps make a plan for yourself (if this is something you want to do). So you're definitely not being silly. You are on the right path to finding out what you can expect.

    But definitely arrange to go to your antenatal classes. And of you can, really try to get some support. I know you say you are on your own... But have you asked your mother to be there with you? Would you like her to be there? A friend would be good either. You really won't know until you ask them. If a friend asked me to be her birthing partner I'd be so honoured. I really hope it works out for you. Congratulations and I really wish you all the best.


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    #37
    sambagal
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭sambagal


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Hi sambagal, I'm also giving birth in Holles st in March 2014. It willbe my second. I would really advise you go to the antenatal classes they provide there as these classes will tell you nearly everything you need to know. The midwives who deliver the classes are really approachable and you really can ask them anything. Just remember, every woman who has given birth initially doesn't know what to expect... Hmmm perhaps unless they're a midwife or obstetrician... But even then every birth is different. It takes a lot of reading or asking questions or talking to people before you will have an idea of what to expect and perhaps make a plan for yourself (if this is something you want to do). So you're definitely not being silly. You are on the right path to finding out what you can expect.

    But definitely arrange to go to your antenatal classes. And of you can, really try to get some support. I know you say you are on your own... But have you asked your mother to be there with you? Would you like her to be there? A friend would be good either. You really won't know until you ask them. If a friend asked me to be her birthing partner I'd be so honoured. I really hope it works out for you. Congratulations and I really wish you all the best.

    Thank you so much for the advice. I have asked mum and she said no. She wants nothing to do with it just like the rest of my family and none of my friends have time because of their own commitments. Baby's father's sister in law is a midwife in holles street so it's going to be horrible enough on my own but even worse if she is on duty.

    I'm going to ring and book anti natal classes tomorrow and see what they say.


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    #38
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    Gosh I really don't know what to say. This all must be very hard for you. With regards to your exs sister in law... Holles st is a large hospital with different wards so the chance of her being on the labour ward when your giving birth I would say would perhaps be slim. If she is on duty it would be unethical for her to have any part in your care if you do not want her to. I know this as I am a manager in a hospital myself. Everything is confidential so if you wish to have a confidential birth with no visitors unless you have given prior consent this is also a choice which will be available to you... Just ask the midwives about this.

    Im sorry to hear your support system is somewhat lacking. And i can only imagine how scary this is for you. But when you have your little baby in your arms that is all you are going to care about and everything else will seem insignificant. Make sure you check up on the various support available to you before and after the birth. Mind yourself.


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    #39
    sambagal
    Registered Users Posts: 5 ✭sambagal


    Sligo1 wrote: »
    Gosh I really don't know what to say. This all must be very hard for you. With regards to your exs sister in law... Holles st is a large hospital with different wards so the chance of her being on the labour ward when your giving birth I would say would perhaps be slim. If she is on duty it would be unethical for her to have any part in your care if you do not want her to. I know this as I am a manager in a hospital myself. Everything is confidential so if you wish to have a confidential birth with no visitors unless you have given prior consent this is also a choice which will be available to you... Just ask the midwives about this.

    Im sorry to hear your support system is somewhat lacking. And i can only imagine how scary this is for you. But when you have your little baby in your arms that is all you are going to care about and everything else will seem insignificant. Make sure you check up on the various support available to you before and after the birth. Mind yourself.

    It's hard, feeling lost and alone is very tough. I know the chances of running into her while I'm there is slim and she never even gave me the time of day the one time we met so She won't know me but I'll know her, and as soon as she sees my chart and sees my details she will know it's his baby.

    I love how you put it somewhat lacking.... It's non existent. I don't have a support system.


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    #40
    January
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,865 ✭✭✭✭January


    I really feel sorry for you sambagirl. None of this is your fault and I'm sure you know that. I hope your family come to their senses before you give birth because they really are acting quite harshly towards you right now.

    If you can afford to hire a doula I'd definitely look into that option.


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    #41
    Sligo1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,948 ✭✭✭Sligo1


    sambagal wrote: »
    I love how you put it somewhat lacking.... It's non existent. I don't have a support system.

    Yea sorry about that... Wasn't really sure how to phrase it in a sensitive way.... I don't really know a lot about Pre and postnatal support systems in Ireland so can't really advise on this... Again, midwives should be able to advise you what available. Just mind yourself and I hope all goes ok for you.


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    #42
    Sweet_pea
    Closed Accounts Posts: 204 ✭✭Sweet_pea


    Is there any chance you can get on the Domino scheme, they are really very supportive. They will go through all your options and can even help with counseling if you need it. Also, your GP should be good to talk to for any concerns. Hollis street have a great social workers (which would be completely confidential no matter who you know you works in the hospital) who can help with any practical arrangements.

    Have a look at Aims Ireland and 42 weeks for more info on birthing. Also, I joined a pregnancy yoga class which I find great. They talk all about labor for the first part of the class every week so could be good for finding out more about it. Also, great for the relaxation part.

    The sister in law can't have anything to do with your labor if you don't want her to.

    Main thing is, is to start asking for help and guidance now, there is a whole world of it there for free. There is quite a few who don't have any immediate support and there is lots set up to help them.


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    #43
    How Strange
    Registered Users Posts: 6,339 ✭✭✭How Strange


    Some doulas offer their services for free in certain circumstances so look up AIMS and http://www.doula.ie and do a bit of googling and see what you can find.


    I've seen trainee doulas offer a free service as part of their work experience.

    Personally I can't think of a situation more deserving if a doula than yours.

    Also hypno birthing may be good for you as your pregnancy seems to be very stressful. Look up http://www.gentlebirth.ie

    You can sometimes buy the CDs second hand on adverts or other websites.


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