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Irish Mammyisms

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    #32
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    My name is URL wrote: »
    Not really a mammyism, but I remember my granny threatening to kick my head in when she was about 92

    My granny's weapon of choice was the poker, or a brush. She talked about the two dogs affectionately, fed them everything from the table, yet if they came over sniffing for something they'd get a kick up the arse for 'being greedy'.

    One dog went blind eventually and the other started pissing itself. I'm pretty sure the blind one tried to fork his own eyes out, and the other one got so nervous around her, that her bladder emptied on sight of her.


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    #33
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Abi wrote: »
    Oh you and I could write the book on this shit :pac:
    And the sequel to :pac:


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    #34
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    My name is URL wrote: »
    Not really a mammyism, but I remember my granny threatening to kick my head in when she was about 92
    Abi wrote: »
    My granny's weapon of choice was the poker, or a brush.

    My granny used to carry a flickknife in her handbag. Jesus, no wonder they kept us disciplined.


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    #35
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Every Irish mother puts Dr. House to shame. Fact.

    *Cough*

    "Must be coming down with a cough."

    How did she know?! o.O


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    #36
    Tesco Massacre
    Registered Users Posts: 814 ✭✭✭Tesco Massacre


    Get up them stairs.


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    #37
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    Seachmall wrote: »
    Every Irish mother puts Dr. House to shame. Fact.

    *Cough*

    "Must be coming down with a cough."

    How did she know?! o.O
    Irish mammys always did state the obious ...much better than any .

    As for grandmothers ,well mine just stared at ya ...didn't say a lot ,just stared but she was the strong silent type ( mind you with no tv back then there wasn't much to talk about where she grew up and lived ) :pac:

    But that stare ...to a 5 year old child ...araggggh :eek:


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    #38
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    Kevin Duffy wrote: »
    My granny used to carry a flickknife in her handbag. Jesus, no wonder they kept us disciplined.

    Pishh. Kids these days don't know how easy they have it.



    Bring back the flick-knife I say!


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    #39
    Kevin Duffy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,439 ✭✭✭Kevin Duffy


    Abi wrote: »
    Pishh. Kids these days don't know how easy they have it.



    Bring back the flick-knife I say!

    Once in a while she'd use it to peel an apple....but with a look that said "the apple, you, all the same to me kiddo".


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    #40
    stoneill
    Registered Users Posts: 3,610 ✭✭✭stoneill


    This happened a long time ago - when money was valuable.

    My brother was looking for £30 off the mammy for a new pair of shows that he saw in Heathers on Arran Quay.

    30 pounds for a pair of shoes! she excalimed.

    But they are George Webb's.

    I don't give a fúck if they are King Farouk's, you're not getting £30.


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    #41
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 91,061 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    When you kept in fear of what "the man" would do


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    #42
    Temptamperu
    Registered Users Posts: 5,303 ✭✭✭Temptamperu


    Dont come runing to me if you break your legs.


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    #43
    Orando Broom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,351 ✭✭✭Orando Broom


    Seachmall wrote: »
    Every Irish mother puts Dr. House to shame. Fact.

    *Cough*

    "Must be coming down with a cough."

    How did she know?! o.O

    Did your mother routinely diagnose you with lupus?


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    #44
    Seachmall
    Registered Users Posts: 7,041 ✭✭✭Seachmall


    Orando Broom wrote: »
    Did your mother routinely diagnose you with lupus?

    It's never lupus.


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    #45
    Lady von Purple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 318 ✭✭Lady von Purple


    Did anyone else ever get, upon not finishing their dinner, ''Tut tut. Willful waste makes woeful want''? Up until I was about ten I thought they were names- Wiffle and Wuffle. I learned otherwise from a placard on RTE news during some strike or other.


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    #46
    LH Pathe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,515 ✭✭✭LH Pathe


    "I'm calling the guards on you .. "

    "this dinner's getting cooold..."

    "I'm calling social services and asking them to have you removed"


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    #47
    starlit
    Registered Users Posts: 12,342 ✭✭✭✭starlit


    Oh my god my mammy is all those things but I'm too drunk to notice...:eek:


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