Shaving yer arse a good idea??

listermint

Change your diet buddy, if your having terrible cling on issues then your not eating right.

jester77

Master and commander wrote: »

I have some hair around my butt hole and sometimes it leads to a bit of a mess when going to the jacks. I was thinking it would make the process more efficient and clean to just shave off the hairs around my aresehole. Has anyone ever done this and would it be a good idea or could it lead to iother problems like itchin, chafing of infection of folicles?

Sounds like someone needs to go back and learn some potty training

kfallon

Light your next fart, should sort it right out for you!

u_c_thesecond

Snakeblood wrote: »

Petrol and a lighter, friend.

hes not your friend buddy !!

Cee-Jay-Cee

One word....Veet.

Dennis the Stone

Remember this:


Don't Shave


I have recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shítting.

No, I was not constipated. This was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of shít were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me knowing that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling place. Eventually I would have to do one of two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its ‘Can't-Be-Flushed’ threshold.

As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, things like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK, or "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know?

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shít- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shít/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. And I mean it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shít/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shít blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass-cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing back in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

All I can say is friends don’t shave your ass hair!


The end…


http://icantseeyou.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/02/dont-ever-shave-your-ass-hair.html

danniemcq

The wet wipes seem to be the best idea OP, shaving is a REALLY bad idea, thought it was a good idea at time but sweet jesus the itch drove me mad!

although the smoothness when you wipe your arse is AMAZING when you first do it!

Billy86

Master and commander wrote: »

I have some hair around my butt hole and sometimes it leads to a bit of a mess when going to the jacks. I was thinking it would make the process more efficient and clean to just shave off the hairs around my aresehole. Has anyone ever done this and would it be a good idea or could it lead to iother problems like itchin, chafing of infection of folicles?

My guess is you would have the itchiest arse in the world when it begins to come back as stubble.

EDIT: Go up two posts.

punk77

Master and commander wrote: »

I have some hair around my butt hole and sometimes it leads to a bit of a mess when going to the jacks. I was thinking it would make the process more efficient and clean to just shave off the hairs around my aresehole. Has anyone ever done this and would it be a good idea or could it lead to iother problems like itchin, chafing of infection of folicles?

Go for it and you don't need a mirror.After all you've been shaving your face long enough to know what your arse looks like.

Keyzer

@Dennis the Stone

Thats one of the funniest yet scary things I've ever read...

Gummy Panda

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

So thats why women are always going to the toilet. Sweaty bum :eek:

mikehunts

Gel it to the sides - works for me.

punk77

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

Remember this:


Don't Shave


I have recently made one of the biggest mistakes in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shítting.

No, I was not constipated. This was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny balls of shít were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my ass-cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me knowing that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling place. Eventually I would have to do one of two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its ‘Can't-Be-Flushed’ threshold.

As I was contemplating this problem, I had what seemed at the time to be a brilliant idea. “Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair all together, and then my crap will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements, things like "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK, or "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled; satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know?

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two ass-cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shít- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shít/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. And I mean it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4-block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shít/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shít blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair, ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my ass-cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum-sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing back in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that’s what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

All I can say is friends don’t shave your ass hair!


The end…


http://icantseeyou.typepad.com/my_weblog/2009/02/dont-ever-shave-your-ass-hair.html

@ Dennis the Stone(r)
Pure class.At least the shaving has freed up your vocal chords

smash

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

Remember this:
..........

The guy that wrote that needs to learn about personal hygiene.

Dennis the Stone

Lordy lordy, it wasn't me wot wrote that. I just remember it floating around the internet ages ago. Very amusing.

donalg1

Dennis the Stone wrote: »

Remember this:


Don't Shave.......

LMFAO

Air_Bass

Plazaman wrote: »

Make sure you use a good sharp cut throat style razor when doing it. Never mind the namby pamby Gillettes with their safety cages, they're not ergonomic or conducive to shaving that region. You should also be rather drunk when doing it too as this will steady your hand whilst hovering over the mirror.

Jayzus....LOL !

Son Of A Vidic

Reading the OP here, I suspect the OP probably hasn't even started shaving his face yet.

Master and commander

Corvus Maximus wrote: »

Reading the OP here, I suspect the OP probably hasn't even started shaving his face yet.

on the contrary i have been doing so for 10yrs or so. I have also shaved by bollix before - i was quite distraught after 48 hours!

Oh dear, that story is frightful stuff. I'm so glad I asked peoples advice on this. So I think we all now agree that a ring shave is off the table. There are some horror stories. Initial razorburn, then the sweatiness and then the stubble blasting after a week.

Might i also enquire as to what it is that the porn stars do? they always have perfectly smooth bollix and holes and have no rash, do they use makeup to mash the rash or wha?

Of course there also is the option if Immac or Veet, but i do know its risky unless you are skilled at it. Its not reccomended. Wouldn't it be an embarrasing trip to the docs explaining to him why your arsehole has dissolved due to improper removal of the cream from all crevises. It would linger and eat away at your hole like acid until it melted away.

So heres what i'll do. I will use the clippers to trim the hairs, and that will sort out the hole wiping problem 95%, while still leaving enough hair, (say 5 or 6 mm,) to avoid stubble and provide the gliding action between the butt halves.
I will put this plan B into action when i get home and i will keep this thread updated to let you know how i am getting on with it. IT will also serve as a warning and guide to others who might wish to get rid of their hole beard.

PennyLane88

Master and commander wrote: »

on the contrary i have been doing so for 10yrs or so. I have also shaved by bollix before - i was quite distraught after 48 hours!

Oh dear, that story is frightful stuff. I'm so glad I asked peoples advice on this. So I think we all now agree that a ring shave is off the table. There are some horror stories. Initial razorburn, then the sweatiness and then the stubble blasting after a week.

Might i also enquire as to what it is that the porn stars do? they always have perfectly smooth bollix and holes and have no rash, do they use makeup to mash the rash or wha?

Of course there also is the option if Immac or Veet, but i do know its risky unless you are skilled at it. Its not reccomended. Wouldn't it be an embarrasing trip to the docs explaining to him why your arsehole has dissolved due to improper removal of the cream from all crevises. It would linger and eat away at your hole like acid until it melted away.

So heres what i'll do. I will use the clippers to trim the hairs, and that will sort out the hole wiping problem 95%, while still leaving enough hair, (say 5 or 6 mm,) to avoid stubble and provide the gliding action between the butt halves.
I will put this plan B into action when i get home and i will keep this thread updated to let you know how i am getting on with it. IT will also serve as a warning and guide to others who might wish to get rid of their hole beard.

:pac: :cool:

gargleblaster

Master and commander wrote: »

butt halves.

:pac:

I will put this plan B into action when i get home and i will keep this thread updated to let you know how i am getting on with it. IT will also serve as a warning and guide to others who might wish to get rid of their hole beard.

Thank you!!!!!!!! I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I couldn't be secure in the knowledge that I'd eventually find out what happens next with your ****ting and ass hair removal adventures.



Do any women like shaved asses on men? I think it looks very unmanly myself. Naturally hairless is one thing, but intentionally shaved - that just seems wrong.

Master and commander

gargleblaster wrote: »

Do any women like shaved asses on men? I think it looks very unmanly myself. Naturally hairless is one thing, but intentionally shaved - that just seems wrong.

I don't think a tufft of rim hair sticking out of a crack could be called attractive in fairness. I wont depilate my whole arse, i have light hair on the cheeks. It's mostly the hairs in the crack and on the rim we're talking about here. Shure they cannot normally be seen anyway if you are standing straight and viewed from the rear.

gargleblaster

:pac: I didn't say it was attractive! Just that shaved looks weird to me, that's all.

punk77

gargleblaster wrote: »

:pac: I didn't say it was attractive! Just that shaved looks weird to me, that's all.

Have you seen many???

gargleblaster

Yes.

Gummy Panda

gargleblaster wrote: »

Do any women like shaved asses on men? I think it looks very unmanly myself. Naturally hairless is one thing, but intentionally shaved - that just seems wrong.

Maybe if they are into rimming?

punk77

gargleblaster wrote: »

Yes.

Jeez. Are you the Hairless Hole Sniffer?

gargleblaster

Rimming. Yes, I hadn't thought of that. Thanks GP.

Ehhhhhhh... most of the guys in porn seem to have hairless asses. And hairless other parts too. It's all wrong and weird.

smash

gargleblaster wrote: »

Ehhhhhhh... most of the guys in porn seem to have hairless asses. And hairless other parts too. It's all wrong and weird.

Well there's always hairy porn for people like you.

Air_Bass

Master and commander wrote: »

I don't think a tufft of rim hair sticking out of a crack could be called attractive in fairness. I wont depilate my whole arse, i have light hair on the cheeks. It's mostly the hairs in the crack and on the rim we're talking about here. Shure they cannot normally be seen anyway if you are standing straight and viewed from the rear.

....Just your Arse Whole :pac: