Obvious troll is too obvious.

Guill

From time to time I get an urge to troll other forum on boards just for the craic. Just start a thread and try and start an immediate fight or just get a ban, and see how people react. Why I have this urge I don’t know.

Things along the likes of:Animals and pet issues:
Hi, can anyone tell me why baby seals are so cute? It makes it so hard to club them! But, they do make good slippers.

Or

After hours:
If god wanted people to speak Irish he would exist.

Or

Motoring:
I just proved red cars are indeed faster than blue cars! My friend and I.......

Or

Music:
Jedward have defined a generation, they deserve credit for that. Genius.

There must be more (and better) ones?

Beggared

Try trolling this thread http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056376052

Kojak

Why the big text, OP?

EDIT: Changed text size :mad:

themadchef

Trolling pffft amateur

Stalking is where it's at.

Guill

Kojak wrote: »

Why the big text, OP?

EDIT: Changed text size :mad:

Big Biro

tightropetom

I'm so happy to see Dublin doing a double header in the All Ireland Football Final. They're such a nice bunch of lads, and their supporters are always on time to matches in Croke Park.

orourkeda

tightropetom wrote: »

I'm so happy to see Dublin doing a double header in the All Ireland Football Final. They're such a nice bunch of lads, and their supporters are always on time to matches in Croke Park.

At least they turn up.

paddyandy

Guill : Mental illness shows itself in various ways.Were you traumatised?

Guill

Parenting forum:
What harm can a few slaps do?

Animals ans pets:
Was walking my Alsation the otherday without a leash, some crazy bitch started shouting at me that the dog should be on a leash, she was afraid for her child, i told her i had a licence for my dog, has she one for her child? I can walk my dog where ever i like. the cheek of her.

Guill

tightropetom wrote: »

I'm so happy to see Dublin doing a double header in the All Ireland Football Final. They're such a nice bunch of lads, and their supporters are always on time to matches in Croke Park.

At least they turn up.

Well that one worked fairly quick!

Ronin247

Guill wrote: »

Parenting forum:
What harm can a few slaps do?

:D

tightropetom

Guill wrote: »

Well that one worked fairly quick!

HAHA! Only took 2 mins! Too easy...

SeaFields

Angling forum....i kill all the fish i catch

Weather forum....this New Zealand guys long range predictions are nothing short of genius

Politics....Bertie Ahern deserves to be president for life for all the good he has done for Ireland.

State Benefits....get a job

GAA...Donegal's tactics are the way forward for the game.

Genghiz Cohen

Trolling is for sad little plebs so they can feel better about living with their parents.

Guill

Genghiz Cohen wrote: »

Trolling is for sad little plebs so they can feel better about living with their parents.

Ninja troll, well played.

The King of Moo

That's a good point, I agree!

Many men now are looking for tall beautiful girl ! ! ! ! ! !

I found beautiful tall girl from dreams at this site ! ! ! ! ! !

At hottallgirl.com lot of women with tall and beautiful are look for man to give affection and find happy destiny ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Come now here to find dream tall girl for all men look for love ! ! ! ! ! Guarantee you will be happiness ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Donal Og O Baelach

Archaeology forum:

Me and my mates have set up a metal detecting club and love going out hunting for treasure. Below are pics of some of our finds.

Beggared

The Ladies Lounge: Have you got perpetual PMS or are you just a cnut?

Models: Where's all the fit nudey birds?

Rugby: Are yiz all gay or what?

Shooting: Which vein is the easiest to use?

All Things Retro: Anybody seen the new iPhone?

Health & Fitness: Running in circles, what's that all about?

Economics: Why can't I just print my own money like the banks?

American Football: Is a team of 45 enough?

Paleanthology: What did you think of Saoise Ronan's performance in "The Lovely Bones"?

Golf: I have big hands and can never get my ball out of the hole, is it ok if my partner handles my ball for me?

Religion & Spirituality: If God made us in his own likeness why don't I look like Will Smith?

Basketball: Why not ban really tall people and put the skill back in the game?

Help Desk: Where can I discuss problems with the Help Desk?

Feedback: I don't like the way the Help Desk is run, can you improve it?

Tattoos and Piercings: What's the best tattoo to prejudice my chance of future employment?

Edu: Do students waste too much time on internet forums?

tightropetom

Conspiracy Theories
9/11 forum

If George Bush hadn't gone to war in Afghanistan and Iraq, the world would be a much more dangerous place, anyone who thinks otherwise is a communist.

Outdoor Pursuits Forum

Me and my mate had an epic escape yesterday, had to call out the mountain rescue in the Wicklow Mountains. FYI, google maps for android is sh** :eek:

Chips Ahoy

in the non drinkers group- "a few naggins and it will be grand"

stmol32

Beggared wrote: »

Try trolling this thread http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056376052

That's very dangerous looping threads like that, you could break the internet.

tightropetom

Any forum at all:

The mods are realling starting to p*** me off - if I have ONE MORE thread deleted I'll go postal on you all. We're living in a neo-Nazi regime.

Beggared

It's ok, I backed up the internet onto a floppy before I posted.

Rabidlamb

Motoring:
Up for driving without an NCT, Tax or Insurance... while drunk & playing Crash Bandicoot on my Samsung Galaxy. I need a loophole to get off ?

Pet & Pet Issues:
Puppy keeps fouling in the house, I'm sick of sticking his nose in it . . . .

Irish Economy:
I blame the Public Service for all our woes . . . .

tbh

some fantastic tips on trolling here:

[noparse]http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthre...56005823[/noparse]

Plazaman

stmol32 wrote: »

That's very dangerous looping threads like that, you could break the internet.

Are you posting in the original thread or the looped thread :eek: ?

Jayasus it's worse than Di Caprio lad in "Perception"

paddyandy

Board.ie needs revision.

SteelyDanJalapeno

stmol32 wrote: »

That's very dangerous looping threads like that, you could break the internet.

'Threadception' - a thread within a thread

The King of Moo

AH: Start a thread with "Not sure if this is the right place for this..." or "Hi I'm new here..."

Any forum: "I'm a sexy lady and if you can count to 100 in sequence, with one number per post, I'll show you my bewbies."

Volvagia

Many a time I've read threads of Personal Issues and have been torn as the whether they are real or expert trolls.

I also think this cartoon describes trolling quite well. http://knowyourmeme.com/i/1072/original/Trollface.png

_feedback_

tbh wrote: »

some fantastic tips on trolling here:

[noparse]http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthre...56005823[/noparse]

Fixed your link

[noparse]http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthre...56005823[/noparse]

Alan b.

Guill wrote: »

From time to time I get an urge to troll other forum on boards just for the craic. Just start a thread and try and start an immediate fight or just get a ban, and see how people react. Why I have this urge I don’t know.

Things along the likes of:Animals and pet issues:
Hi, can anyone tell me why baby seals are so cute? It makes it so hard to club them! But, they do make good slippers.

Or

After hours:
If god wanted people to speak Irish he would exist.

Or

Motoring:
I just proved red cars are indeed faster than blue cars! My friend and I.......

Or

Music:
Jedward have defined a generation, they deserve credit for that. Genius.

There must be more (and better) ones?

sadly there's more then a grain of truth in that.

tallaghtmick

The athiest forum:god is great in every way
The religion forum:Theres no such thing as god
Liverpool megathread:Your team has no chance this year
The shooting forum:Animals have rights/ban traps
The animal forum:Yum I love tasty rabbit
Bangernomics thread:Look at this civic

tbh

elviscostello wrote: »

Fixed your link

[noparse]http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthre...56005823[/noparse]

\0

Guill

Mustard forum:

Ketchup! FTW

10 reasons why ketchup is better than mustard.....

chin_grin

What was that classic post in the Stuttering,Stammering Speech forum? F*cking in tears laughing so I was.

wonton

Donal Og O Baelach wrote: »

Archaeology forum:

Me and my mates have set up a metal detecting club and love going out hunting for treasure. Below are pics of some of our finds.

I hear the Mod of that forum has a bone to pick with you over that one.

chin_grin

wonton wrote: »

I hear the Mod of that forum has a bone to pick with you over that one.

Badumtish.

Guill

So, have they found the cure for gay yet?

wonton

Guill wrote: »

So, have they found the cure for gay yet?

Who did you ask that to? The GLB forum or your doctor?

Guill

wonton wrote: »

Who did you ask that to? The GLB forum or your doctor?

Your Da.

Daisy M

Nutrition&diet the words white bread bring out the food police in droves and heaven forbid you even ask "whats lipotrim" you get worse lectures than I used to get from me ma, as a youngwan, before a disco about "keeping me legs crossed and me hand on me ha'penny!!

Northern Monkey

TiltedBrain wrote: »

'Threadception' - a thread within a thread

I got trapped in it, but then I fell off my chair and I'm back in the real world.

Saila

The King of Moo wrote: »

Any forum: "I'm a sexy lady and if you can count to 100 in sequence, with one number per post, I'll show you my bewbies."

is the 101st post this from the OP (.)(.)

Fratton Fred

In the Celtic forum: Rangers are great, Celtic are ****

In the Rangers forum: Celtic are great, Rangers are ****.

Actually, that's pretty much what those threads are like anyway.

TheBunk1

Guill wrote: »

Animals ans pets:
Was walking my Alsation the otherday without a leash, some crazy bitch started shouting at me that the dog should be on a leash, she was afraid for her child, i told her i had a licence for my dog, has she one for her child? I can walk my dog where ever i like. the cheek of her.

I bet a few of 'em in there would completely agree with you :pac:

mcmoustache

In the paranormal forum:

This sounds more like The Invisible Man than a ghost tbh.

If you are really quiet you should be able to hear him pottering around the house. He usually likes to live in people's houses unnoticed - sometimes even sleeping in the same room as the residents.

Some of the signs that you might have an invisible man living with you are things like socks going missing from the wash, creaking stairs/floorboards, mysterious draughts, the milk carton having less milk than you thought.

If you come across any of the above, you'll need to catch him out. The best way to do this is to buy a 2kg bag of Odlum's Self-raising flour. Then, starting from the top floor and working your way down, toss the flour all over the place and onto the floor. Do this for every room and cupboard. Also, make sure to put plenty on the kitchen as this seems to be where he's most active.

Then you need to wait for a few hours. After a few hours have passed, check around the house and especially the kitchen for footprints. It you see footprints that are around a size 10 around the house that aren't yours, then you can be fairly sure that it's the invisible man. If the footprints are much smaller like a size 1, you may have goblins which also like to create mischief around people's houses. Either way, you should cover the whole inside of your house in flour.

Also from there is one that gave me some giggles and didn't get spotted for the troll.

Yet again from the paranormal forum is this thread. I started to feel guilty so I left it.

Another from there is this one. It's just a little silly and in good spirits.

Bring it to a church, dip it in some holy water and repeat "Demons, be gone!" 7 times. Then place it in a box of Lucky Charms and leave it there over night. In the morning, pour the Lucky Charms and the necklace into a bowl and pour milk over them. Eat everything with a spoon except for the necklace. Wash the necklace with the bowl and dry them off. The necklace should then be fit to wear without causing any more bad luck.

Finally, from there we have this. I must have pasted this one at least 5 times in the "trolling" threads:

The Ouija boards are safe enough as long as you take precautions. Since the spirit world is a different dimension in space and time altogether, you can't assume that you'll channel some Irish guy who lived in the house 100 years ago. That would be one hell of a coincidence considering all the people who have ever existed since the human species evolved past the cut-off point between non-ghost-producing and ghost-producing animals. Assuming that only homo-sapiens produce ghosts, then you have 150,000 years worth of dead people to channel. Two and a half million years worth if homo habilis produced ghosts but there hasn't been enough research done in this area so it's hard to say.

That said, a homo habilis would probably only spell out screeching noises and fling the board off the table. If they turn violent, there isn't a lot you can do. The total number of dead homo-sapiens far outnumbers the total number of dead hominids from previous eras so it's safe to assume that you'll probably channel a human.

You're experience will vary depending on which time and place the human which you channeled lived in. There's a pretty good chance of channeling an english speaker as they historically have had a large population. These provide the best experience as communication will at least be coherent.

Unfortunately most of the rest will be chinese so you should get a ouija board with the chinese character set. They can't be expected to know how to use an english one. These are available from Hong Kong and measure about three metres by three metres. You'll need to understand chinese, obviously.

You should also allow for the presense of other asians and europeans and learn to say "Piss Off" in multiple languages. Otherwise you'll end up with a russian pulling the glass one way and a german pulling the other way creating a linguistic mess. The rest of the world has historically been fairly ignorant when it comes to literacy so I wouldn't worry too much about them.

You should also be culturally sensitive. Grounding techniques vary from place to place so you should educate yourself about the different strategies. For example, if you channel a haitian from 150 years ago and don't want him butting in on your conversation with Elvis, it might be difficult to get him to feck off. In this case you'll need to slaughter and spill the blood of a chicken on some clam shells and then on yourself. That'll get rid of him If Vlad the Impalor starts freaking you out, rub some garlic all over your body, put a cross around your neck and start running around the room screaming "Hagyj békén".

Because different spirits have different pet-peeves, you'll need to prepare for as many eventualities as possible. Crystals, religious paraphernalia, various animal blood, magnets, bodily fluids, incantations, rabbit's feet, warhammer figureens, vegetables, cats and anything else that you can think of. The more you have, the better the chance that you'll have the item you need. This might seem cruel to the spirits but the only way to have a conversation in peace is to stop all the billions of dead people from pulling on the glass at the same time.

The biggest hazard you might encounter would be a spirit who decides to stay after the ouija session. If this happens and your house becomes haunted, none of the tips above will help. You'll need to speak to professionals. If you are fortunate, the spirit will have been catholic so catholic afterlife rules apply and the spirit can be removed through a process of exorcism. If you have the misfortune of having an Egyption from three thousand years ago inhabit your house, it might be difficult to get a practitioner to remove him but you'll have to track one down. There is no way to remove an atheist spirit as they don't believe that they are actually ghosts. You can speak to them rationally however, assuming you speak a common language, and convince them to move somewhere more convenient such as a church.

There have been lots of opinions expressed in this thread by people who haven't really thought any of this stuff through. There's more to the ouija than just watching Satan use a glass to write stuff in english. That only happens in the movies. In reality, you'll be frustrated by illiterate ghosts who can't punctuate properly, ghosts with archaic or no english and multiple ghosts from different cultures trying to talk to you at the same time.

I wish you luck OP and anyone else who wants to try this, but please be careful and only do this if you are prepared to live with the consequences.

I don't know what it is about that paranormal forum. As a newb, I tried logic and reason. I gave up as it was pointless and now I just troll when I'm drunk by myself. It's quite sad really.

*cries into keyboard*

Beggared

You have just admitted deliberately trolling another forum.
Why would you do that? Admit it, I mean, not the trolling itself.

The golden rule of trolling is that the trollee must never be sure that he is being trolled but he must have an unsettling suspicion that he is.

sgb

All the countries economic problems could be solved if we legalized marijuana. This could go on several different forum's

Alan b.

Guill wrote: »

Parenting forum:
What harm can a few slaps do?

Animals ans pets:
Was walking my Alsation the otherday without a leash, some crazy bitch started shouting at me that the dog should be on a leash, she was afraid for her child, i told her i had a licence for my dog, has she one for her child? I can walk my dog where ever i like. the cheek of her.

reminds me of a time when i was out with my husky and a woman drove from the other end of the park, got out of her car, walked over to me and started telling me to keep my dog away from her.
its at times like those i wish he would bark like crazy but he doesnt.


As for trolling,
head for the military forum and post
is anyone looking to buy some Irish Defence Forces paddy camo. all sizes available, just let me know what ya want. oh, and if ya dont want the patches on them, i can colour the flag and insignias in with a black marker, or just rip em off.

will work in the hunting and airsofting forums too lol

mcmoustache

Beggared wrote: »

You have just admitted deliberately trolling another forum.
Why would you do that? Admit it, I mean, not the trolling itself.

The golden rule of trolling is that the trollee must never be sure that he is being trolled but he must have an unsettling suspicion that he is.

It's because I realise I have a problem and I want to stop. It's getting so bad that I feel guilty every night and I'm afraid of what I might do next.

I think I'll go discuss this problem in PI...