Funny or strange things written on CV's

Tayla

Where I used to work we used to get a lot of CV's dropped in and I remember one guy had written a note underneath his saying that he was very 'Igor' to learn.

Unfortunately we weren't looking for a hunchback at the time so he never got a call back.

Anyone here ever see something funny written on a CV?

Teyla Emmagan

Only on my own Tayla, and only I knew how funny it was sadly.

It was called 'creative lying' and not deliberate humour in my case tho..

Bride2012

A smiley face, really!

AnamGlas

Name: I McHunt

I'm unemployed

Chuck Stone

Hobbies: Chess.


Chess me bollocks.

bnt

A friend recently paid a lot of money to have an executive recruitment agency work on his CV and look for a new position. He sent me a copy of the CV they wrote for him ... oh dear. Typos, too long, too woolly, and it had him describing himself as the "top" in his field. Even if he was ... that is not the kind of thing you put on a CV. "Experienced & qualified" yes, "top" no. :rolleyes:

starbelgrade

I got a few CVs in recently when I was looking for a secretary. Some of the items listed as hobbies were funny, ranging from "line dancing" to "knitting" to "road walking".

Another CV came with a cover letter stating that, "my most excellent is English"!

alwaysadub

starbelgrade wrote: »

I got a few CVs in recently when I was looking for a secretary. Some of the items listed as hobbies were funny, ranging from "line dancing" to "knitting" to "road walking".

Another CV came with a cover letter stating that, "my most excellent is English"!

Why you not answer me and give me job!! :mad:

languagenerd

Best/worst CV typo ever: when people accidentaly leave the "L" out of Public Relations :P

(Once saw the same typo in a newspaper - "Ms. X was a pubic relations officer for the firm at the time of the offence...")

starbelgrade

alwaysadub wrote: »

Why you not answer me and give me job!! :mad:

Because me not how know use to do email proper.

jefreywithonef

Got a chuckle out of someone writing "Hobbies: I do enjoy a game of football".

Pure Sound

I've seen hobbies "Socializing with friends" That just means you are a pisshead

Ian Beale

Reminds me of a guy a few years back who was offered a job as long as he went and got written references of his previous employers. Long story short he came back with one " I'm a hard worker, great with time keeping etc. Signed by himself".

Acacia

We Need Community wrote: »

I've seen hobbies "Socializing with friends" That just means you are a pisshead

It is a bit unfair being judged on your hobbies, though. I mean, everyone does nearly the same things- fap, get drunk, watch telly and look at stupid stuff on the interwebs. Unfortunately, you can't be honest about this so you have to say crap like "socializing with friends.":p

I mean, as long as your hobby isn't making blankets out of human skin or something, I can't see why the employer should know or care what you do your spare time, tbh.

nomdeboardie

Students from Germany looking for summer or graduate student positions (if I recall correctly) in an academic (science/engineering) setting: religion and parents occupations :eek:

later12

The most absurd thing I've seen people put on their CVs are the schools they went to. I was once an intern in a bank in London and the amount of applicants who would list Harrow, Eton, Oundle, Stowe, Uppingham, St Pauls or other well known schools was ridiculous.

Having said that, i fully understand why they did so, because many of the senior staff came from these institutions, and whether out of of loyalty to the school or out of the belief that it made for better staff, these applicants were disproportionately represented at interview stage.

Not sure if it is as common to mention the school attended on CVs here in Ireland, but I'm sure it is just the same.

DjFlin

Not entirely on topic, but somewhat related. I remember going over some CV's with a co-worker once and this happened:

Co-worker: This guys name is Myles. I knew a Myles once. He was a c*nt. Cant take the risk, this one could be a c*nt too.
Me: We cant not-hire someone just because of their name.
Co-worker: His CV got lost or something *Proceeds to rip up Myles's CV*

Moral of the story is, Don't be named Myles.

Acacia

nomdeboardie wrote: »

Students from Germany looking for summer or graduate student positions (if I recall correctly) in an academic (science/engineering) setting: religion and parents occupations :eek:

That's probably the norm in Germany so they can rule out the Jews.







*controversial*

PseudoFamous

A fellah I know has "Women" in interests. Just in case the interviewer was wondering, yaknow.

papajimsmooth

My brother worked in gamestop for a while and when they were looking for new staff members one guy put "pwning noobs" as his hobby. Got the job as well

theGavin

I once wrote in my achievements section that I found Waldo.

I got a phone call back. They said I was over qualified.

DjFlin

Acacia wrote: »

That's probably the norm in Germany so they can rule out the Jews.

Oh you :rolleyes:

PseudoFamous

theGavin wrote: »

I got a phone call back. They said I was over qualified.

That was just a polite way to say they didn't want any Tallaght ruffians smelling up the place.

Acacia

DjFlin wrote: »

Oh you :rolleyes:

It was a joke, chillax.

Edit: On reflection, it wasn't a particularly funny joke, just a cheap shot. This is what happens when I post too late at night.

Apanachi

languagenerd wrote: »

Best/worst CV typo ever: when people accidentaly leave the "L" out of Public Relations :P

Public Reations?????

MitchKoobski

Woman came in demanding I give her CV to my "man boss important" despite me telling her there were no jobs going. Had a flick through and one of the achievements/qualifications said "Willing to do anything for job."

Not on a CV, but my boss told me the guy they interviewed before me was asked: "What is your greatest weakness?"
He answered: "Bullets"

syklops

The following is an extract from an actual CV i received a few weeks ago. This was in the personal information. I have removed any identifiable information from it.

I have been married since 1980. My wife - <name snipped> - is a language teacher.

Our son – <name snipped>- was born in 1998.

Since 2007 my name has been <name snipped>

We own a semi-detached house.

This was for a software developers job.

I've seen a few other whoppers in my time too. Like:

Achievements: I got first place for Violin in the Feis Ceoil when I was 7.

Hobbies: I like reading, swimming and long walks.

Interests: Going out and having the craic.

rubadub

I got a handwritten one before, on A4 lined sheets, written in various coloured pencils, loads of spelling mistakes. There was some mad stuff on it, but the colouring pencils just sticks in my mind now.

I can stand the odd spelling mistake but when its on certain words it you have to laugh, like literate being wrong.

This was the most recent one I saw on a site.
http://www.mintnow.co.uk/index.html

Itelligence,knowledge and creativity is all you need .

rhapsody

I actually read a CV the other day; 3 pages long, though the 3rd page only said "I am not a stressful man".

scholar007

later10 wrote: »

The most absurd thing I've seen people put on their CVs are the schools they went to. I was once an intern in a bank in London and the amount of applicants who would list Harrow, Eton, Oundle, Stowe, Uppingham, St Pauls or other well known schools was ridiculous.

Having said that, i fully understand why they did so, because many of the senior staff came from these institutions, and whether out of of loyalty to the school or out of the belief that it made for better staff, these applicants were disproportionately represented at interview stage.

Not sure if it is as common to mention the school attended on CVs here in Ireland, but I'm sure it is just the same.

I've seen it happen. Rockwell have quite an active old boys network! They mind their own.

podgemonster

Had a lad in college whos hobbies and interests field was almost completely blank except for this sentence.

I enjoy TCG (Trading Card Gaming) and I am a member of the College Gym

highgiant1985

syklops wrote: »

I've seen a few other whoppers in my time too. Like:

Hobbies: I like reading, swimming and long walks.

I don't see what's wrong with this one ? Maybe I'm blind...?

Sticky_Fingers

highgiant1985 wrote: »

I don't see what's wrong with this one ? Maybe I'm blind...?

It makes the applicant sound like a 40 year old frump looking for some loving in the personal ads section of their local rag.

Guy:Incognito

podgemonster wrote: »

I enjoy TCG (Trading Card Gaming) and I am a member of the College Gym

Why do people put an abbreviation and then explain it? Fair enough if its a big paragragh thats going to have the thing repeated over and over. But if its just the once its pointless.

CrazyRabbit

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Why do people put an abbreviation and then explain it? Fair enough if its a big paragragh thats going to have the thing repeated over and over. But if its just the once its pointless.

TMDR (too moany, didn't read).

Apolloyon

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Hobbies: Chess.


Chess me bollocks.

But I do like chess!:(

The Scientician

One time a lad left a CV into ther store where I was working. It was very impressive, 5 higher-level A1s and A2s in the Leaving Cert. He had great previous work experience too. I was getting ready to call him for an interview when I noticed he hadn't included his contact details...


I reckon he must have had them on a separate sheet and forgot to staple the last sheet on. I hope the poor sod didn't give out too many of these CVs.

rafaetha

Do we really have to add interests and hobbies? Why does that matter to a recruiter?

highgiant1985

Sticky_Fingers wrote: »

It makes the applicant sound like a 40 year old frump looking for some loving in the personal ads section of their local rag.

May I ask how old are you? I'm guess you're pretty young going by your opinion on the hobbies.

I would disagree with your opinion. Sure it could have been structured better but it doesn't seem untruthful and I would not consider it funny or strange to see on a CV.

highgiant1985

Apolloyon wrote: »

But I do like chess!:(

A lot of these funny or strange things are really just - "god look at these people with interests that don't match mine. Aren't these people weird."

The same goes for the card trading game.

I really don't see whats funny or weird about liking chess either to be honest.

I do fell sorry for the chap who forgot to put his contact details on his CV.

We had a cover letter and CV from a girl who'd spoken to the boss on the phone and had been told to send in an application. He was obviously considering hiring her. The e-mail comes in, a day later, with an impressive CV attached, but the worst cover letter ever:

Dear X,
Unfortunately, having checked on my computer, the most up-to-date CV I can find only goes up to September 2010, so the last two jobs I did are missing. As I told you on the phone, I worked at X and X after this.

WTF? The lazy cow can't find FIVE MINUTES to update her CV in Word? She wants a job but isn't prepared to do the basic task of making sure her CV is finished before sending it off? The boss took one look at it and told me to delete it. I'm sure she's gone off to her mammy, complaining that there are just no jobs and that companies are such timewasters these days. Fecking idiot.

later10

later10 wrote: »

The most absurd thing I've seen people put on their CVs are the schools they went to. I was once an intern in a bank in London and the amount of applicants who would list Harrow, Eton, Oundle, Stowe, Uppingham, St Pauls or other well known schools was ridiculous.

Having said that, i fully understand why they did so, because many of the senior staff came from these institutions, and whether out of of loyalty to the school or out of the belief that it made for better staff, these applicants were disproportionately represented at interview stage.

Not sure if it is as common to mention the school attended on CVs here in Ireland, but I'm sure it is just the same.

I don't see why you wouldn't put your school. It's absolutely the norm in the UK. I've always done it. You wouldn't list your degree results without mentioning the university, so why wouldn't you put your school down?

im invisible

rafaetha wrote: »

Do we really have to add interests and hobbies? Why does that matter to a recruiter?

likes to play football = team player,
likes chess = not so much

likes TCG (Trading Card Games) = DO NOT HIRE

syklops

highgiant1985 wrote: »

I don't see what's wrong with this one ? Maybe I'm blind...?

It says loner in a big way. I was always told include some kind of social activity. Even during the times of my life when my main interests were swimming and reading, I still included socialising or some such.

A lot of these funny or strange things are really just - "god look at these people with interests that don't match mine. Aren't these people weird."

You are completely missing the point. A CV should be like a seduction. Its the only thing a prospective employer may see of you, and so it should grab their attention. Like any seduction there are guidelines to follow, and if you dont follow them it suggests you either dont know them or couldn't be bothered to implement them. Both of these things say something about you to a person who may not see you face to face.

It has nothing to do with making fun of people who have dissimiar interests, its about making fun of people who don't know or understand the soft skills that go with CV formatting and wording.

Aishae

Shelby Attractive Mirage wrote: »

I don't see why you wouldn't put your school. It's absolutely the norm in the UK. I've always done it. You wouldn't list your degree results without mentioning the university, so why wouldn't you put your school down?

Cv etiquette is that you list your most recent education. So if you went to college and finished it then you don't need to include the secondary school. But either way you include the college name so they can verify you were a student. You do include any Certs like first aid and an advanced driving course - IF the latter is relevant to the job.

I've worked in personnel in two separate places so I've come across some mad cv gems. The ones that springs to mind are:
Sex: yes
And hobbies: keeping my porche shiny

O_o

locked_out

"He is a straight shooter with upper level management written all over him!"

http://www.thehotglove.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/eric.jpg

Vicxas

"Ive been into gaming since the early release of commadores and ataris"


He was 16... 10 years younger then when the commadore was released.

Aishae

Aishae wrote: »

Cv etiquette is that you list your most recent education. So if you went to college and finished it then you don't need to include the secondary school. But either way you include the college name so they can verify you were a student. You do include any Certs like first aid and an advanced driving course - IF the latter is relevant to the job.

I've worked in personnel in two separate places so I've come across some mad cv gems. The ones that springs to mind are:
Sex: yes
And hobbies: keeping my porche shiny

O_o

Any job I've applied for in the last two years has asked for details of my school name and A Level results and even GCSE results in some cases, so I don't see the point in leaving them off my CV. I have an MA and I still get asked about what I did for A Level. Perhaps it's because we specialise much earlier in the UK and they're interested in what I chose to study. I definitely don't think it's odd to put your school on your CV, but maybe it is in Ireland.

Aishae

Shelby Attractive Mirage wrote: »

Aishae wrote: »

Cv etiquette is that you list your most recent education. So if you went to college and finished it then you don't need to include the secondary school. But either way you include the college name so they can verify you were a student. You do include any Certs like first aid and an advanced driving course - IF the latter is relevant to the job.

I've worked in personnel in two separate places so I've come across some mad cv gems. The ones that springs to mind are:
Sex: yes
And hobbies: keeping my porche shiny

O_o

Any job I've applied for in the last two years has asked for details of my school name and A Level results and even GCSE results in some cases, so I don't see the point in leaving them off my CV. I have an MA and I still get asked about what I did for A Level. Perhaps it's because we specialise much earlier in the UK and they're interested in what I chose to study. I definitely don't think it's odd to put your school on your CV, but maybe it is in Ireland.

You're probably right. It's a bit of a grey area though. Supposedly you're meant to include it if your college course was a cert or diploma as opposed to a degree. But at the same time you're taught to say "such and such available upon request"

It's true we don't specialise at all until 3rd level. Adding primary school is just completely irrelevant though, ive seen it on cv's many times

NinjaTruncs

I was working in a Spar when I got a CV from a young chinese guy call Thomas Thomas, I double checked he claimed his name was Thomas Thomas, anyway he had down as a hobby "serving customers"

tiny_penguin

rafaetha wrote: »

Do we really have to add interests and hobbies? Why does that matter to a recruiter?

I dont have hobbies and interests on my cv and have been told to every recruiter ive been too not to add them. A CV should really just have the most relevant information to the job on it.

When I was interviewing and scanning CV's when I was team lead i would not even bother reading the hobbies and interests of anyone who had added them. We had loads to go through and i was interested in their experience.

Same goes for secondary school (got a couple that listed their primary school) - its not really relevant if they have gone on to study further, leaving cert results are only relevant if they are the highest qualification received. I think they are added to bulk up CV's that applicants feel are short on experience.