Funny or strange things written on CV's

Tayla · 28-08-2011 11:12PM #1

Where I used to work we used to get a lot of CV's dropped in and I remember one guy had written a note underneath his saying that he was very 'Igor' to learn.

Unfortunately we weren't looking for a hunchback at the time so he never got a call back.

Anyone here ever see something funny written on a CV?

Teyla Emmagan · 28-08-2011 11:15PM

Only on my own Tayla, and only I knew how funny it was sadly.

It was called 'creative lying' and not deliberate humour in my case tho..

Bride2012 · 28-08-2011 11:19PM

A smiley face, really!

AnamGlas · 28-08-2011 11:19PM

Name: I McHunt

I'm unemployed

Chuck Stone · 28-08-2011 11:38PM

Hobbies: Chess.

Chess me bollocks.

bnt · 28-08-2011 11:40PM

A friend recently paid a lot of money to have an executive recruitment agency work on his CV and look for a new position. He sent me a copy of the CV they wrote for him ... oh dear. Typos, too long, too woolly, and it had him describing himself as the "top" in his field. Even if he was ... that is not the kind of thing you put on a CV. "Experienced & qualified" yes, "top" no. :rolleyes:

starbelgrade · 28-08-2011 11:42PM

I got a few CVs in recently when I was looking for a secretary. Some of the items listed as hobbies were funny, ranging from "line dancing" to "knitting" to "road walking".

Another CV came with a cover letter stating that, "my most excellent is English"!

alwaysadub · 28-08-2011 11:43PM

starbelgrade wrote: »

I got a few CVs in recently when I was looking for a secretary. Some of the items listed as hobbies were funny, ranging from "line dancing" to "knitting" to "road walking".

Another CV came with a cover letter stating that, "my most excellent is English"!

Why you not answer me and give me job!! :mad:

languagenerd · 28-08-2011 11:44PM

Best/worst CV typo ever: when people accidentaly leave the "L" out of Public Relations :P

(Once saw the same typo in a newspaper - "Ms. X was a pubic relations officer for the firm at the time of the offence...")

starbelgrade · 28-08-2011 11:46PM

alwaysadub wrote: »

Why you not answer me and give me job!! :mad:

Because me not how know use to do email proper.

jefreywithonef · 29-08-2011 12:08AM

Got a chuckle out of someone writing "Hobbies: I do enjoy a game of football".

Pure Sound · 29-08-2011 12:13AM

I've seen hobbies "Socializing with friends" That just means you are a pisshead

Ian Beale · 29-08-2011 12:19AM

Reminds me of a guy a few years back who was offered a job as long as he went and got written references of his previous employers. Long story short he came back with one " I'm a hard worker, great with time keeping etc. Signed by himself".

Acacia · 29-08-2011 12:24AM

We Need Community wrote: »

I've seen hobbies "Socializing with friends" That just means you are a pisshead

It is a bit unfair being judged on your hobbies, though. I mean, everyone does nearly the same things- fap, get drunk, watch telly and look at stupid stuff on the interwebs. Unfortunately, you can't be honest about this so you have to say crap like "socializing with friends.":p

I mean, as long as your hobby isn't making blankets out of human skin or something, I can't see why the employer should know or care what you do your spare time, tbh.

nomdeboardie · 29-08-2011 12:42AM

Students from Germany looking for summer or graduate student positions (if I recall correctly) in an academic (science/engineering) setting: religion and parents occupations

:eek:

later12 · 29-08-2011 12:51AM

The most absurd thing I've seen people put on their CVs are the schools they went to. I was once an intern in a bank in London and the amount of applicants who would list Harrow, Eton, Oundle, Stowe, Uppingham, St Pauls or other well known schools was ridiculous.

Having said that, i fully understand why they did so, because many of the senior staff came from these institutions, and whether out of of loyalty to the school or out of the belief that it made for better staff, these applicants were disproportionately represented at interview stage.

Not sure if it is as common to mention the school attended on CVs here in Ireland, but I'm sure it is just the same.

DjFlin · 29-08-2011 12:58AM

Not entirely on topic, but somewhat related. I remember going over some CV's with a co-worker once and this happened:

Co-worker: This guys name is Myles. I knew a Myles once. He was a c*nt. Cant take the risk, this one could be a c*nt too.
Me: We cant not-hire someone just because of their name.
Co-worker: His CV got lost or something *Proceeds to rip up Myles's CV*

Moral of the story is, Don't be named Myles.

Acacia · 29-08-2011 01:01AM

nomdeboardie wrote: »

Students from Germany looking for summer or graduate student positions (if I recall correctly) in an academic (science/engineering) setting: religion and parents occupations :eek:

That's probably the norm in Germany so they can rule out the Jews.

*controversial*

PseudoFamous · 29-08-2011 01:01AM

A fellah I know has "Women" in interests. Just in case the interviewer was wondering, yaknow.

papajimsmooth · 29-08-2011 01:06AM

My brother worked in gamestop for a while and when they were looking for new staff members one guy put "pwning noobs" as his hobby. Got the job as well

theGavin · 29-08-2011 01:09AM

I once wrote in my achievements section that I found Waldo.

I got a phone call back. They said I was over qualified.

DjFlin · 29-08-2011 01:09AM

Acacia wrote: »

That's probably the norm in Germany so they can rule out the Jews.

Oh you :rolleyes:

PseudoFamous · 29-08-2011 01:10AM

theGavin wrote: »

I got a phone call back. They said I was over qualified.

That was just a polite way to say they didn't want any Tallaght ruffians smelling up the place.

Acacia · 29-08-2011 01:11AM

DjFlin wrote: »

Oh you :rolleyes:

It was a joke, chillax.

Edit: On reflection, it wasn't a particularly funny joke, just a cheap shot. This is what happens when I post too late at night.

Apanachi · 29-08-2011 08:14AM

languagenerd wrote: »

Best/worst CV typo ever: when people accidentaly leave the "L" out of Public Relations :P

Public Reations?????

MitchKoobski · 29-08-2011 08:50AM

Woman came in demanding I give her CV to my "man boss important" despite me telling her there were no jobs going. Had a flick through and one of the achievements/qualifications said "Willing to do anything for job."

Not on a CV, but my boss told me the guy they interviewed before me was asked: "What is your greatest weakness?"
He answered: "Bullets"

syklops · 29-08-2011 09:10AM

The following is an extract from an actual CV i received a few weeks ago. This was in the personal information. I have removed any identifiable information from it.

I have been married since 1980. My wife - <name snipped> - is a language teacher.

Our son – <name snipped>- was born in 1998.

Since 2007 my name has been <name snipped>

We own a semi-detached house.

This was for a software developers job.

I've seen a few other whoppers in my time too. Like:

Achievements: I got first place for Violin in the Feis Ceoil when I was 7.

Hobbies: I like reading, swimming and long walks.

Interests: Going out and having the craic.

rubadub · 29-08-2011 10:25AM

I got a handwritten one before, on A4 lined sheets, written in various coloured pencils, loads of spelling mistakes. There was some mad stuff on it, but the colouring pencils just sticks in my mind now.

I can stand the odd spelling mistake but when its on certain words it you have to laugh, like literate being wrong.

This was the most recent one I saw on a site.
http://www.mintnow.co.uk/index.html

Itelligence,knowledge and creativity is all you need .

rhapsody · 29-08-2011 10:31AM

I actually read a CV the other day; 3 pages long, though the 3rd page only said "I am not a stressful man".

scholar007 · 29-08-2011 10:36AM

later10 wrote: »

The most absurd thing I've seen people put on their CVs are the schools they went to. I was once an intern in a bank in London and the amount of applicants who would list Harrow, Eton, Oundle, Stowe, Uppingham, St Pauls or other well known schools was ridiculous.

Having said that, i fully understand why they did so, because many of the senior staff came from these institutions, and whether out of of loyalty to the school or out of the belief that it made for better staff, these applicants were disproportionately represented at interview stage.

Not sure if it is as common to mention the school attended on CVs here in Ireland, but I'm sure it is just the same.

I've seen it happen. Rockwell have quite an active old boys network! They mind their own.

podgemonster · 29-08-2011 10:50AM

Had a lad in college whos hobbies and interests field was almost completely blank except for this sentence.

I enjoy TCG (Trading Card Gaming) and I am a member of the College Gym

Funny or strange things written on CV's

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