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Questions men dare not ask their doctor

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    #32
    gargleblaster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭gargleblaster


    irishh_bob wrote: »
    going on 13 years since an event triggered my depression , never gone a day without it since , should have dealt with it like a man from the start , i cant complain , the universe doesnt require you to be happy

    No, it doesn't. But you only get one go. Might as well try to make the best of it, right? I don't know what you think you did to deserve 13 years of punishment, but I imagine whtever it was, 13 years is enough. Sorry, I don't mean to nag. It does make me sad, though, knowing that other people have this pain and think they deserve it. I have struggled with the same feelings and I wish you'd believe me, it's simply not true - nobody deserves that kind of pain. (Ok maybe some people do, but I sincerely doubt you're a mass murderer or someone like that.)

    Again, best of luck to you.


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    #33
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Are you trying to say these men don't know where there doctors are, CDfm? Don't know how to examine themselves? This has nothing to do with the language a doctor uses - as I said, getting men in the door is the biggest hurdle and I just don't think that a dr saying erection rather than hard-on is the issue - it's a general ignorance about health matters and a woeful lack of personal responsibility with regards to maintaining ones health.

    Take my dad for example, he called me one morning to complain he was off to the doc's as last night he'd found he couldn't move one side of his body...I was horrified;
    "Why the hell didn't you call an ambulance, Dad?!"
    "Oh, I don't want to bother them, they have bigger and better things to be dealing with".

    The paralysis had gone by morning but at my mothers insistence called his GP to ask for advice - who thankfully sent him immediately to the nearest Neurology Dept who confirmed he'd had a mini-stroke. It wasn't language or terminology that was the problem, the issue was it took his daughter and wife to convince him that just because he wasn't keeling over, that didn't mean he was okay - and my father is an extremely intelligent man - it's not an issue with terminology for him, it's an archaic mindset. :rolleyes: :(


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    #34
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    All I am saying is these men got diagnosed too late. That one of them has 5 sons between 35 and 50 who are at risk and didn't know anything says something.

    So do we have blissfull ignorance or fear and embaressment.

    I spotted this survey in the stickies and its worth supporting

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056357816

    And Ickle -good story about your Dad and a friends Dad did the same a few years back. A light drinker he was spotted in the toilet of his local pub having trouble producing percy for the porcelain and if someone hadn't spotted it he would not have gone to hospital. True story.


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    #35
    ballsymchugh
    Registered Users Posts: 7,937 ✭✭✭ballsymchugh


    Ickle Magoo wrote: »
    Why not indeed, I guess it's down to the individual doctor - and they have to gauge the kind of language their patient wants them/expects them to use as a medical professional and keeping in mind they are a representative of a particular medical practice...you might want your doctor to say hard-on, I'd hate for my doctor to say tits, for instance. So, I would hope doctors would work on a case-by-case basis but I'm just saying I'm not at all surprised that the default is not slang terminology when in a professional capacity... :cool:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOtbyAHEm8Q


    15 seconds in, first thing i thought of!!


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    #36
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Yep, that survey is going up tLL as soon as the one about male victims of domestic abuse has run.
    CDfm wrote:
    All I am saying is these men got diagnosed too late. That one of them has 5 sons between 35 and 50 who are at risk and didn't know anything says something.

    So do we have blissfull ignorance or fear and embaressment.

    Does it really matter which? Either way the result is the same; causing pain and misery to the individual and their family. I think there needs to be more resources put into men's health matters, especially on breaking down the "real men don't go running to the doc's every five minute" type guff into the reality that ignorance can and does cost lives.


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    #37
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Ya don't mean men would be afraid of this

    two-hands-putting_~pe0058436.jpg


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    #38
    irishh_bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭irishh_bob


    gargleblaster wrote: »
    No, it doesn't. But you only get one go. Might as well try to make the best of it, right? I don't know what you think you did to deserve 13 years of punishment, but I imagine whtever it was, 13 years is enough. Sorry, I don't mean to nag. It does make me sad, though, knowing that other people have this pain and think they deserve it. I have struggled with the same feelings and I wish you'd believe me, it's simply not true - nobody deserves that kind of pain. (Ok maybe some people do, but I sincerely doubt you're a mass murderer or someone like that.)

    Again, best of luck to you.


    when i say i deserve it , i meant i was too weak to both keep it at bay and deal with its arrival

    i didnt do anything to cause it in the first place , was a victim of viscious bullying in the workplace while overseas as a very young man , have recently recieved information which should help me find the person who caused this life changing affliction , one thing is sure im not leaving this world without my perpetrator knowing something about it


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    #39
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    irishh_bob wrote: »
    when i say i deserve it , i meant i was too weak to both keep it at bay and deal with its arrival

    What kind of strength would have done that? I'd consider myself a pretty strong/strong-willed person and yet I was absolutely floored by post-natal depression. Thinking became a major effort - and not out of weakness or laziness but because whatever chemistry my brain had up to then had suddenly gone hay-wire and every decision felt like mentally wading through a bowl of mildly soggy weetabix.

    As I'm sure you are only too well aware, it's horribly disheartening and fairly terrifying to find your normal reactions and judgements impaired to that degree but seriously irishh_bob, it's nothing to do with any perceived weakness of personality...and while the universe may not require that you be happy; you deserve to feel you have a worthwhile existence in which your living is making a positive contribution to mankind/the universe/etc.


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    #40
    irishh_bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭irishh_bob


    Ickle Magoo wrote: »
    What kind of strength would have done that? I'd consider myself a pretty strong/strong-willed person and yet I was absolutely floored by post-natal depression. Thinking became a major effort - and not out of weakness or laziness but because whatever chemistry my brain had up to then had suddenly gone hay-wire and every decision felt like mentally wading through a bowl of mildly soggy weetabix.

    As I'm sure you are only too well aware, it's horribly disheartening and fairly terrifying to find your normal reactions and judgements impaired to that degree but seriously irishh_bob, it's nothing to do with any perceived weakness of personality...and while the universe may not require that you be happy; you deserve to feel you have a worthwhile existence in which your living is making a positive contribution to mankind/the universe/etc.

    im completley insignificant in the grand scheme of things , depression robs you of the arrogance that convinced you that you deserve great success or rewards in life , it changes your outlook in such a profound way that the person you once knew is dead and gone , thats why so many people commit suicide , they cant live with the loss of the self


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    #41
    Sonics2k
    Registered Users Posts: 8,239 ✭✭✭Sonics2k


    irishh_bob wrote: »
    im completley insignificant in the grand scheme of things , depression robs you of the arrogance that convinced you that you deserve great success or rewards in life , it changes your outlook in such a profound way that the person you once knew is dead and gone , thats why so many people commit suicide , they cant live with the loss of the self

    I'm going to be 100% blunt here.

    You need to get some help dude.
    I've dealt with depression since I was 13, and various other issues, and have felt like you do, and honestly from time to time still do.

    I'm not necessarily talking about seeing a therapist, or taking medication, neither worked for me. Instead find a way of releasing the pain and stress you feel. And I don't just mean writing poetry in a darkened room listening to N.I.N.

    Exercise can be of incredible help to people with depression, it helps you feel good, releases endorphins and exerts stress and tension from the body. It can also help if you have any body issues that may contribute to the depression.

    Do a FAS course. Even a brief course at FAS in any subject of interest will be of help to you. It will give your mind something to focus on and work towards. Hell, you may even come out of it with some new friends.

    The worst thing you can do with depression is sit around and feel sorry for yourself. The vast majority of people are insignificant on the grand scale, but that does not you mean have to insignificant in yourself and your life.


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    #42
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    Folks,can we keep on topic please.If IB wants to discuss depression Ive already told him that he is more than welcome to start a thread on the subject.

    Cheers,
    OD.


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    #43
    irishh_bob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭irishh_bob


    Sonics2k wrote: »
    I'm going to be 100% blunt here.

    You need to get some help dude.
    I've dealt with depression since I was 13, and various other issues, and have felt like you do, and honestly from time to time still do.

    I'm not necessarily talking about seeing a therapist, or taking medication, neither worked for me. Instead find a way of releasing the pain and stress you feel. And I don't just mean writing poetry in a darkened room listening to N.I.N.

    Exercise can be of incredible help to people with depression, it helps you feel good, releases endorphins and exerts stress and tension from the body. It can also help if you have any body issues that may contribute to the depression.

    Do a FAS course. Even a brief course at FAS in any subject of interest will be of help to you. It will give your mind something to focus on and work towards. Hell, you may even come out of it with some new friends.

    The worst thing you can do with depression is sit around and feel sorry for yourself. The vast majority of people are insignificant on the grand scale, but that does not you mean have to insignificant in yourself and your life.


    this is the last post i send on this thread so ( please mr mod ) dont bin me

    i am in employment , its not like i lay in bed all day or anything like that or have a substance addiction but i cannot kick depression , ive tried all sorts of things , take holidays once a year , the usual stuff , doesnt make any difference , all im saying is that depression kills a part of you and unless your willing to deal with the problem like a man , you cant expect things to ever be the same again , some people can live with the change - loss , some cant , such is life , sorry for the whinge everyone , its undignified and obnoxious


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    #44
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    I am the OP here - why not take Otis up on his offer and start a depression thread and I am sure he can just move your posts and the replies over to it to save you starting a new thread. I am sure Otis and the other mods would not have made the offer lightly.

    The thread was meant to be a slightly irreverant look on why guys dont go to doctors and I am sure your story on depression is more specialised and depression needs its own thread.


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    #45
    Cicero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,144 ✭✭✭✭Cicero


    CDfm wrote: »
    OK - back to serious.

    I want my doctor to be able to effectively communicate with me and vice versa.

    And, I don't want health information campaigns to be beyond mine or other mens comprehension.

    So if guys are embarressed whats causing it and what might fix it.

    Hey CD
    ...one of my doctors used to smoke a cig while consulting with me.....(in fairness he was dying of cancer at the time & I was a smoker )...AND he was encouraging me to give up...:p...that was a good 12 years ago but not that long ago...

    ..point of mentioning the above story is that even back then I could talk frankly with my Doc...I think modern GP's are just brilliant though...they have embraced technology, are very worldly on issues and concerns of patients and even though they're swamped busy, they do take the time....any guys reading this post and are worried about going to their GP- don't be....just go..


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    #46
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Cicero wrote: »
    ......any guys reading this post and are worried about going to their GP- don't be....just go..

    hey Cicero - how goes it.

    One of my close friends went to his doc about watching too much porn on-line. He just could not stop. Doc goes "You use _____ , you gotta go to XXX site so much better"

    True story that - I know both of them. :p


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    #47
    Cicero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,144 ✭✭✭✭Cicero


    CDfm wrote: »
    hey Cicero - how goes it.

    One of my close friends went to his doc about watching too much porn on-line. He just could not stop. Doc goes "You use _____ , you gotta go to XXX site so much better"

    True story that - I know both of them. :p

    :D

    ..when I mentioned technology...I didn't mean that!!!!..research man...medical research.....

    *yes I know.. I know...that's what you're friend said*!:p


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    #48
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    Cicero wrote: »
    :D

    ..when I mentioned technology...I didn't mean that!!!!..research man...medical research.....

    Oh dear. :p


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