Sex texting ideas?

mylilpony

I googled it and found some weak examples. My boyfriend needs a little more inspiration than 'I'm in my underwear, thinking of u'. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

zuroph

"I've got the midget tied down and ball gagged, what next?"

carefulnow100

Post your number we'll all try to help!!:P






(no seriously P.M me ur number

starbelgrade

mylilpony wrote: »

I googled it and found some weak examples. My boyfriend needs a little more inspiration than 'I'm in my underwear, thinking of u'. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

I'm not in my underwear & I'm shagging your brother.

mikom

8======D

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Saila

"Ive got creamed smeared on my tits"

"and the dogs tongue is panting at me! this is one 'seconds' you dont want to risk having"

sdanseo

Tell him you've bought a leather-coated dildo and want to stick it in his ass. Then you'll never have to worry about this problem again.

Hope this helps, cheers thanks and happy trolling.

EverEvolving

Take a picture of yourself in your underwear and send it to him

Saila

mikom wrote: »

8======D

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<333333333333333333333

mylilpony

This ain't a joke...I need some serious ideas ^ ^they're good but not sexy enough......if you're a guy, imagine the most sexy thing a girl could say to u or a message that would trigger your thoughts- and then tell me what that is

mikom

mylilpony wrote: »

if you're a guy, imagine the most sexy thing a girl could say to u

Dinners ready.

starbelgrade

mylilpony wrote: »

This ain't a joke...I need some serious ideas ^ ^they're good but not sexy enough......if you're a guy, imagine the most sexy thing a girl could say to u or a message that would trigger your thoughts- and then tell me what that is

"I bought you beer, a Sky Sports subscription & there's steak for dinner"

WindSock

Tell him you're foamin at the gash. He'll love it.

Temptamperu

Honey i made you a sammich :pac:

landsleaving

Stop texting, start f*cking. Lifes too short.

Text a female friend instead and organise a threesome. He'll like that.

MrStuffins

EverEvolving wrote: »

Take a picture of yourself in your underwear and send it to all of us

FYP!

Solnskaya

"me and the kids are going away for a few days, will you be ok on your own darling?" Try that.

mylilpony

He is away at the moment so want to give him something to keep him going. We do ****....ALL THE TIME

Saila

mylilpony wrote: »

if you're a guy, imagine the most sexy thing a girl could say to u or a message that would trigger your thoughts- and then tell me what that is

remember you were talking about a three way? well I decided yes

MrStuffins

mylilpony wrote: »

He is away at the moment so want to give him something to keep him going. We do ****....ALL THE TIME

He has the internet right? I'm pretty sure he has plenty to keep him going!

starbelgrade

mylilpony wrote: »

He is away at the moment so want to give him something to keep him going.

Order him a brazzer.

Mr. Denton

Tell him you get really turned on by the idea of him being with other woman. Tell him it'd really turn you on if he went out right now and picked up some random slapper and brought her back to his hotel.

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man

Ask him is he turned on by himself.

Solnskaya

mylilpony wrote: »

He is away at the moment so want to give him something to keep him going. We do ****....ALL THE TIME

"I've got a one week job paying enough that you will never have to work again sweetheart". That, or "Darling, I have decided that I love anal, and yes, I will dress up like a garda". That could just be me though. But I doubt it.

mylilpony

Ha I do not want him to shag another bird thanks :L

super_furry

"Me gee is gagging for a gallop"

policarp

Mylilpony is chompin' at the bit.
Wanna go for a gallop?

20260622

mylilpony wrote: »

This ain't a joke...I need some serious ideas ^ ^they're good but not sexy enough......if you're a guy, imagine the most sexy thing a girl could say to u or a message that would trigger your thoughts- and then tell me what that is

You came to AH to ask for "serious" ideas??

:rolleyes:

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man

I bet the OP is some re reg old man having a ****.....:rolleyes:

Mr. Denton

Solnskaya wrote: »

"I've got a one week job paying enough that you will never have to work again sweetheart". That, or "Darling, I have decided that I love anal, and yes, I will dress up like a garda". That could just be me though. But I doubt it.

Hot!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Abi3hgIxtNM

I'd let that garda take down my particulars.

I especially like the jumper and hi-vis jacket.

mylilpony

20260622 wrote: »

You came to AH to ask for "serious" ideas??

:rolleyes:

Yes I did :eek:

WASP0

^^
fail

blackdog2

I am taking off my clothes, and jumping into bed...

... with your dad

mylilpony

blackdog2 wrote: »

I am taking off my clothes, and jumping into bed...

... with your dad

His Dad is a ride n a half, but i think any mention of his dad would turn him right off

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man

your not even a girl are ya op

get that dick pack in the trousers :roll:

bronte

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erbGcad-bY4

Bound to work.

mylilpony

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man wrote: »

your not even a girl are ya op

get that dick pack in the trousers :roll:

Ha yes i am, I'm 21 and new to boards.ie so i didnt even know where i was posting this to be honest. My BF is in the north atm. Would the fact that i watched a double bill of SATC earlier be proof enuf for you. No im not a gay man either. Jeez im just a young'un tryna please ma maaaan

MrStuffins

mylilpony wrote: »

Ha yes i am, I'm 21 and new to boards.ie so i didnt even know where i was posting this to be honest. My BF is in the north atm. Would the fact that i watched a double bill of SATC earlier be proof enuf for you. No im not a gay man either. Jeez im just a young'un tryna please ma maaaan

Pics or GTFO i'm afraid!

mylilpony

MrStuffins wrote: »

Pics or GTFO i'm afraid!

I'd rather let ya believe i have a big hairy dick

MrStuffins

mylilpony wrote: »

I'd rather let ya believe i have a big hairy dick

Jaysus, you really ARE sh*te at talking dirty!

mylilpony

Haa fancy a bitta role play? Can i practice??

mylilpony

MrStuffins wrote: »

Jaysus, you really ARE sh*te at talking dirty!

How wud u describe yours? I'd say ur packing a chode

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man

mylilpony wrote: »

Haa fancy a bitta role play? Can i practice??

ya need a character, first. a ban gardai or sumting.

you can arrest him and tie him up, lol. tell him hes been a naughty boy...lol

take out the baton etc lol

MrStuffins

mylilpony wrote: »

How wud u describe yours? I'd say ur packing a chode

My dirty talk normally consists of "Scream and you're dead!"

mylilpony

MrStuffins wrote: »

My dirty talk normally consists of "Scream and you're dead!"

Omg are u larry murphy?

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man

mylilpony wrote: »

Omg are u larry murphy?

lol ur boy is sum goon tbf

MrStuffins

I would ride myself cos im a sexy man wrote: »

lol ur boy is sum goon tbf

When she asked about texting ideas, she didn't mean you should show her how to write in txtspk.

Jesus Wept

How about I'll be the janitor and you can be .. the janitor's wife.

Karona

Ask him what his fantasies are. That way he is imagining things thus turning himself on. No need for you to do it. Voila.

You can thank me later

mylilpony

MrStuffins wrote: »

When she asked about texting ideas, she didn't mean you should show her how to write in txtspk.

CALM DOWN BOYS Let's stick to the point

<snip>

MrStuffins

mylilpony wrote: »

CALM DOWN BOYS Let's stick to the point

<snip>

Jesus Christ! I'm getting out of this thread. F*ck sake!