Public displays of awful parenting

Dangerous Man · 13-07-2011 4:26pm #1

I've seen some magnificent examples of this in my time. None better than in Dolphin's Barn Dublin. On one occassion I overheard a woman yell at her infant son, 'I'll dance on your head if you keep it up.' Another time, a different woman, 'I'll **** you out under a bus ya little bastard' and so on. That says nothing of the times I've seen women slap their kids or little kids hang out with drunken dad with a few cans of Linden Village by the petrol station.

So, AH people - what are your favourites? Any memorable examples? Let's have them.

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:27pm

Dangerous Man wrote: »

I've seen some magnificent examples of this in my time. None better than in Dolphin's Barn Dublin. On one occassion I overheard a woman yell at her infant son, 'I'll dance on your head if you keep it up.' Another time, a different woman, 'I'll **** you out under a bus ya little bastard' and so on. That says nothing of the times I've seen women slap their kids or little kids hang out with drunken dad with a few cans of Linden Village by the petrol station.

So, AH people - what are your favourites? Any memorable examples? Let's have them.

You're an expert then?

SEPT 23 1989 · 13-07-2011 4:29pm

Maybe the child was a little bastard

mikemac · 13-07-2011 4:29pm

Parents pushing the buggy out to "test" the traffic

So the drivers slam on the brakes and the parent strolls across the road.
There is usually a pedestrian crossing 100 metres up the road.

Except braking distances differ depending on weight and wet/dry conditions and one day and it's only a matter of time driver is going to hit a buggy.

And the driver will be traumatized and blame themselves but really, it wasn't their fault.

orourkeda · 13-07-2011 4:30pm

Parents not throwing their squealing little johnnys under a bus is a poor display of parenting in my view

Dangerous Man · 13-07-2011 4:30pm

kippy wrote: »

You're an expert then?

Just lived for long enough in a shitty enough area to see my fair share. And now, I share with you.

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:31pm

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Just lived for long enough in a shitty enough area to see my fair share. And now, I share with you.

You've a few yourself? Yeah?

wild_cat · 13-07-2011 4:33pm

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Just lived for long enough in a shitty enough area to see my fair share. And now, I share with you.

I can back you up on that. I lived around there for two years.

Chuck Stone · 13-07-2011 4:35pm

kippy wrote: »

You're an expert then?

Does it take an expert to know that hitting and threatening children with violence is not good?

Elliemental · 13-07-2011 4:35pm

I heard one local matriarch bawl at her toddler: "I'm going to punch you in the fúcking beak if you do that again."

No idea what the kid was doing, however if you want the child to grow up with a mouth like a dustbin, and no respect for anyone; then I daresay that's a pretty good way of going about it.

MitchKoobski · 13-07-2011 4:35pm

Tall Ships Festival just a week or two ago. Little girl wearing rollerblades was sitting on a table moving a chair back and forth with her foot. She pushed it too far and it fell over. Mother stormed over, slapper her around the head, dragged her off the table saying "You could have hit that man you stupid cow!". She was referring to the old man sitting two tables away who was now staring at the mother in disbelief.
The little girl stood still and started crying to herself. When mother dearest thought she was crying too loudly, she tried to push the girl away. In what was an awkwardly hilarious moment, the girl rolled about 15ft away on the rollerblades and continued crying. A crowd started to gather and mumble amongst themselves, so she took her daughter and left.

Still makes me pissed off thinking of it now.

deman · 13-07-2011 4:36pm

kippy wrote: »

You've a few yourself? Yeah?

Sounds to me, Kippy, that you're trying to defend the bad parents that he's talking about. Has he hit a nerve or what?

drunkmonkey · 13-07-2011 4:39pm

Last Saturday, Little girl starts getting away from her mammy, Mammy reaches forward and rips her back by the pony tail. It was cruel but funny.

stovelid · 13-07-2011 4:39pm

I'm wary of these threads as the last thing we want is a crackdown on us being able to assault our kids for fun.

It's great for letting off steam.

secrecy_ie · 13-07-2011 4:39pm

Saw a woman shouting at her kid:

"Ah go and f*** a duck!"

That stuck in my mind for many reasons...

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:42pm

My parents, my mother in particular, had a brush that she used to "hit" us with, as well as threatening "Violence" (some just a threat) on us. She also slapped us, as did my father (not to hard)
There were five of us. I have great parents. Respect them, and what they did in somewhat tough circumstances, to bring us all up. On the outside some of what they did may be described by the OP here as "bad parenting".
Parents do things to bring up their kids in the best way they know possible.
Some "bad parenting" that others deem to be haven't gotten the foggiest to be honest.

I'm not standing up for "bad" parenting just wondering why people who havent a clue can call what someone does "bad parenting".

the groutch · 13-07-2011 4:42pm

lost count of the number of fathers who drag their kids into a bookies, and once inside completely ignore the kid, except for completely losing the head at the kid if he/she interrupts him while watching a race

Ghost Buster · 13-07-2011 4:43pm

kippy wrote: »

You've a few yourself? Yeah?

I dont know if the Op does but i do and i agree with the OP.
You?

MitchKoobski · 13-07-2011 4:44pm

kippy wrote: »

I'm not standing up for "bad" parenting just wondering why people who havent a clue can call what someone does "bad parenting".

So I can't call hitting a child around the head bad parenting because I don't have a kid and wouldn't understand?

Millicent · 13-07-2011 4:45pm

kippy wrote: »

My parents, my mother in particular, had a brush that she used to "hit" us with, as well as threatening "Violence" (some just a threat) on us. She also slapped us, as did my father (not to hard)
There were five of us. I have great parents. Respect them, and what they did in somewhat tough circumstances, to bring us all up. On the outside some of what they did may be described by the OP here as "bad parenting".
Parents do things to bring up their kids in the best way they know possible.
Some "bad parenting" that others deem to be haven't gotten the foggiest to be honest.

I'm not standing up for "bad" parenting just wondering why people who havent a clue can call what someone does "bad parenting".

I'm pretty sure threatening to throw your child under a bus is quite clearly bad parenting. And I say this as a child who was no stranger to the wooden spoon!

wild_cat · 13-07-2011 4:45pm

kippy wrote: »

My parents, my mother in particular, had a brush that she used to "hit" us with, as well as threatening "Violence" (some just a threat) on us. She also slapped us, as did my father (not to hard)
There were five of us. I have great parents. Respect them, and what they did in somewhat tough circumstances, to bring us all up. On the outside some of what they did may be described by the OP here as "bad parenting".
Parents do things to bring up their kids in the best way they know possible.
Some "bad parenting" that others deem to be haven't gotten the foggiest to be honest.

I'm not standing up for "bad" parenting just wondering why people who havent a clue can call what someone does "bad parenting".

So its ok to call your child a cùnt in public?

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:46pm

MitchKoobski wrote: »

So I can't call hitting a child around the head bad parenting because I don't have a kid and wouldn't understand?

The OP didn't mention anything about "hitting a child around the head".

stovelid · 13-07-2011 4:46pm

the groutch wrote: »

lost count of the number of fathers who drag their kids into a bookies, and once inside completely ignore the kid, except for completely losing the head at the kid if he/she interrupts him while watching a race

This makes my blood boil!

The idle little fuckers should be fetching snacks and dropping the dockets up instead of standing around doing nothing.

syklops · 13-07-2011 4:46pm

I remember the famous post on here years ago, there was a kid having a tantrum in the shop, and the mother said to him:"If you dont behave you'll have no new toys and no mcdonalds for a WHOLE WEEK".

Sounds like bad parenting to me.

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:47pm

wild_cat wrote: »

So its ok to call your child a cùnt in public?

Again, the OP didn't use that example.
Using bad language in general, with your child or other wise isn't a very good example to be setting however I wouldn't call it bad parenting.

rocco. · 13-07-2011 4:48pm

kippy wrote: »

The OP didn't mention anything about "hitting a child around the head".

Whats your problem?? Is it acceptable for a parent to threaten a child by telling them they will dance on their head?

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:50pm

rocco. wrote: »

Whats your problem?? Is it acceptable for a parent to threaten a child by telling them they will dance on their head?

Yes.
In the same way as threatening that the boogy man will come and get them if they are bold.

the groutch · 13-07-2011 4:51pm

syklops wrote: »

:"If you dont behave you'll have no new toys and no mcdonalds for a WHOLE WEEK".

Sounds like bad parenting to me.

shows how spoilt some kids are, growing up I'd be lucky to go to Mickey D's once a month
and I only got toys for birthday/crimbo or bought them with pocket money

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:51pm

Millicent wrote: »

I'm pretty sure threatening to throw your child under a bus is quite clearly bad parenting. And I say this as a child who was no stranger to the wooden spoon!

Were any kids killed in the making of that threat?

Italia · 13-07-2011 4:51pm

Today's kids are in MANY cases a bunch of rude, disrespectful, uncouth, crass dipsticks.
Do I blame them? In most cases no. I blame their parents for being soft, too PC and in many cases disinterested in what their kids do or where they are..... until it is too late.

I don't belt my kids or have to shout (neither does my wife), but they know exactly where the line is. We apply basic old-fashioned standards in the house and everyone (me included) abides by them.

stovelid · 13-07-2011 4:53pm

Italia wrote: »

We apply basic old-fashioned standards in the house and everyone (me included) abides by them.

Putting them to work in coal mines and cleaning chimneys takes away jobs from adult tradespeople though.

Chuck Stone · 13-07-2011 4:54pm

kippy wrote: »

My parents, my mother in particular, had a brush that she used to "hit" us with, as well as threatening "Violence" (some just a threat) on us. She also slapped us, as did my father (not to hard)
There were five of us. I have great parents. Respect them

Sounds quite similar to the family I grew up in only my Father did most the hitting.

I too love my parents but I don't think the hitting and threatening was at all commendable. Aren't we supposed to learn from the mistakes of our parents and forebearers?

Sometimes I hear people of my parents generation (60+) talk about being hammered by their parents almost with pride and it completely baffles me.

Wolfe Tone · 13-07-2011 4:54pm

stovelid wrote: »

This makes my blood boil!

The idle little fuckers should be fetching snacks and dropping the dockets up instead of standing around doing nothing.

Ha, I used to do that with my dad, I always loved going to the bookies with him, and he would take me to the races with him too.

One day in the bookies some gimp said to my Dad kids shouldnt be there and it was bad parenting, he was quite rightly told what to do with himself.

SEPT 23 1989 · 13-07-2011 4:55pm

Kids have no fear anymore,if i got really out of hand as a kid i got a smack and i learned from that not to get out of hand

stovelid · 13-07-2011 4:55pm

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Ha, I used to do that with my dad, I always loved going to the bookies with him, and he would take me to the races with him too.

Same. Always got a cut of the winnings too if I didn't tell my ma he won...

Millicent · 13-07-2011 4:56pm

kippy wrote: »

Were any kids killed in the making of that threat?

No but one's spirit was. :mad:

syklops · 13-07-2011 4:57pm

the groutch wrote: »

shows how spoilt some kids are, growing up I'd be lucky to go to Mickey D's once a month
and I only got toys for birthday/crimbo or bought them with pocket money

Goes to show how spoilt some kids were. I went to McD's on my birthday, and toys at Christmas. And we had to play in the rain.

kippy · 13-07-2011 4:58pm

Millicent wrote: »

No but one's spirit was. :mad:

Really,
You think the kid will remember that in a negative light?
Kids get on with it.

TheZohanS · 13-07-2011 4:59pm

Dangerous Man wrote: »

I've seen some magnificent examples of this in my time. None better than in Dolphin's Barn Dublin. On one occassion I overheard a woman yell at her infant son, 'I'll dance on your head if you keep it up.' Another time, a different woman, 'I'll **** you out under a bus ya little bastard' and so on.

A barn? With dolphins? Sounds like a wonderful place! One would have thought that staff would have stepped in to stop this tourist abusing her child?

Millicent · 13-07-2011 4:59pm

syklops wrote: »

Goes to show how spoilt some kids were. I went to McD's on my birthday, and toys at Christmas. And we had to play in the rain.

17 miles to school with no shoes. Both ways. In the snow.

(I actually agree completely!)

Millicent · 13-07-2011 5:01pm

kippy wrote: »

Really,
You think the kid will remember that in a negative light?

Eh, it was a joke. I had a friend who used to tell her child she'd throw him out the window and he thought it was hilarious.

That said, it all goes to intent. If you [hypothetical you, not you] are genuinely menacing a child with the threat of being thrown under a bus, you need the **** kicked out of you.

stovelid · 13-07-2011 5:02pm

TheZohan wrote: »

A barn? With dolphins?

Certainly a stable environment by the sounds of it.

kippy · 13-07-2011 5:02pm

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Sounds quite similar to the family I grew up in only my Father did most the hitting.

I too love my parents but I don't think the hitting and threatening was at all commendable. Aren't we supposed to learn from the mistakes of our parents and forebearers?

Sometimes I hear people of my parents generation (60+) talk about being hammered by their parents almost with pride and it completely baffles me.

There is a fine line between "hitting" "slapping" and "abuse". I'll give you that much.
However there is, in my opinion, a place for slapping in parenting. (Goes totally against all the fuddy duddy modern parenting lark but there ya go.)
They didnt have TV, DS's, DVD's, Playstations, even books and less and less devices to keep kids entertained through out the years so it's hard to really hammer parenting back then when times were completely different.

Millicent · 13-07-2011 5:03pm

kippy wrote: »

There is a fine line between "hitting" "slapping" and "abuse". I'll give you that much.
However there is, in my opinion, a place for slapping in parenting. (Goes totally against all the fuddy duddy modern parenting lark but there ya go.)
They didnt have TV, DS's, DVD's, Playstations, even books and less and less devices to keep kids entertained through out the years so it's hard to really hammer parenting back then when times were completely different.

Meh, I used to think that way but honestly, what lesson are you giving kids?That the way to deal with anger to another is violence?

stovelid · 13-07-2011 5:05pm

While I agree that the pendulum seems to have swung alarmingly (and s little daftly) from smacking being almost mandatory when I was I a kid to being viewed as akin to child abuse these days, I'm not sure I agree with misty-eyed reminiscing about getting whacked with wooden spoons, belts and slippers either.

kippy · 13-07-2011 5:05pm

Millicent wrote: »

Meh, I used to think that way but honestly, what lesson are you giving kids?That the way to deal with anger to another is violence?

Not at all.
Thats not what I picked up from it anyway.

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 13-07-2011 5:07pm

Fat parents sitting in takeaway feeding their fat kids.

orourkeda · 13-07-2011 5:08pm

Baby orourkeda junior would get a good hiding if i had any of the little gets

Millicent · 13-07-2011 5:09pm

kippy wrote: »

Not at all.
Thats not what I picked up from it anyway.

But you would smack your kid if they were being a little fecker? I'm not about wrapping a child in cotton wool (kids are far too bloody clean and allergic to EVERYTHING these days) but you can usually teach them to deal with stuff better than with a slap, IMO.

orourkeda · 13-07-2011 5:10pm

Millicent wrote: »

But you would smack your kid if they were being a little fecker? I'm not about wrapping a child in cotton wool (kids are far too bloody clean and allergic to EVERYTHING these days) but you can usually teach them to deal with stuff better than with a slap, IMO.

a good kicking works a dream

kippy · 13-07-2011 5:12pm

Millicent wrote: »

But you would smack your kid if they were being a little fecker? I'm not about wrapping a child in cotton wool (kids are far too bloody clean and allergic to EVERYTHING these days) but you can usually teach them to deal with stuff better than with a slap, IMO.

I might depending on the circumstances. I certainly wouldnt rule it out. But my parents slapping me, didn't teach me to deal with adults getting out of line with a slap........

In an ideal environment you probably can, but with kids things are rarely ideal especially if you:
a. Have more than one.
b. Lived in the past with less distractions/awards for use with these techniques.

Public displays of awful parenting

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