I got caught.....

fedor.2.

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place. I dont know why i did it as we have a downstairs bathroom.

I have previous with this sort of thing as ive pissed in the kitchen sink, the bath and the bathroom sink. I dont know why i do it, i think i need help

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

stop drinking

mconigol

You came to the right place.

Ficheall

Tell her the fire you'd drunkenly lit was getting out of control.

stevejr

fedor.2. wrote: »

i think i need help

Or a man-nappy...

OutlawPete

Blast it with .. oh wait, you already did that.

tallaghtmick

location says it all you're ok op its just your nature:D

sanbrafyffe

ah its the drink that takes over ur brain and everything looks like a challenge so the fireplace does too..dont worry ur not the only one,,i was renting in dublin and caught a flat mate pisxxxg in a house cup at the sink and a bathroom beside him

Juwwi

Is this true or are you taking the piss.

policarp

fedor.2. wrote: »

i think i need help

Not at all.
You are one the new breed of Piss Artists.

ArtyM

Best of luck finding a therapist tht specialises in treating people who piss in fireplaces.

Bullseye1

Tell her you were putting out a fire.

GTDolanator

i came in fairly scuzzed one night and ended up pissin in me wardrobe/radiator

got caught by my mother she would not talk to me for days

Ficheall

On a more serious note, as men get older they often find it more difficult to control their bladder movements. This does not only apply to incontinence, but also the converse - they can find it difficult to urinate when they are supposed to. It could be the case that when you stand in front of the toilet, you feel under pressure, as it's quite clear what the task you need to perform is.
However, you might subconsciously be avoiding this by standing in front of, for example, the fireplace - tricking your mind into a false sense of security so it does not feel the need to inhibit you - and then whipping your mickey out and letting rip. By the time the brain realises what is happening, it is too late to do anything much about it.

cursai

Reminds me of a story about Templemore Garda college!

Jazzy

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar wrote: »

stop drinking

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! dont be that guy!

Xivilai

Does it burn when you pee?

hondasam

fedor.2. wrote: »

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place. I dont know why i did it as we have a downstairs bathroom.

I have previous with this sort of thing as ive pissed in the kitchen sink, the bath and the bathroom sink. I dont know why i do it, i think i need help

say goodbye to nights out.

Fago!

I'm sure many people here have pissed in the kitchen sink before. I have!

hondasam

Fago! wrote: »

I'm sure many people here have pissed in the kitchen sink before. I have!

why not use the toilet ?

TheZohanS

fedor.2. wrote: »

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place. I dont know why i did it as we have a downstairs bathroom.

I have previous with this sort of thing as ive pissed in the kitchen sink, the bath and the bathroom sink. I dont know why i do it, i think i need help

Firstly; how long are you married?

Ditch

Xivilai wrote: »

Does it burn when you pee?

The fire wouldn't.

Coriolanus

The sink in the bathroom is there for when you're drunk. She'll only be giving out if you try to use the toilet because you'll pish everywhere anyway. So the sink or bath or shower stall are all completely acceptable.
Don't know about the fireplace. You need to work on that.

mikemac

Corkonians, so uncivilized they may as well be living in fields

fedor.2.

TheZohan wrote: »

Firstly; how long are you married?

Not for much longer if i dont sort myself out. I think i pissed in the dogs bowl too one night. He doesnt like me ya see.

Fago!

hondasam wrote: »

why not use the toilet ?

Because the toilet is like way over there and the sink right here.

Sinfonia

Better than if you'd shat in the bread bin.

ArtyM

fedor.2. wrote: »

Not for much longer if i dont sort myself out. I think i pissed in the dogs bowl too one night. He doesnt like me ya see.

Bet he f**kin loved you after that.

seanybiker

It was only a piss. If she whinges to much just piss on her side of the bed and explain that things can always be worse.

Big Nasty

went through a stage of having to piss in the sink when I was steamed for some reason, even if I was in the bathroom I wold choose the sink over the toilet. Haven't had the urge to do it in ages though!

TheZohanS

fedor.2. wrote: »

Not for much longer if i dont sort myself out. I think i pissed in the dogs bowl too one night. He doesnt like me ya see.

Pretend you're Bear Grylls. Seriously though, how long are you hitched?

ICE HOUSE

Just hope to God its not an electric fireplace it could have got a lot more amusing.

hondasam

fedor.2. wrote: »

Not for much longer if i dont sort myself out. I think i pissed in the dogs bowl too one night. He doesnt like me ya see.

remind her for better for worse, she is getting the worst part now.

It can only get better.

fuerte1976

fedor.2. wrote: »

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place. I dont know why i did it as we have a downstairs bathroom.

I have previous with this sort of thing as ive pissed in the kitchen sink, the bath and the bathroom sink. I dont know why i do it, i think i need help

Don't worry bout it boy, been down that road b4 too. Tis when you piss in de bed with herself in it- then your in trouble ...:eek::eek::eek:

ICE HOUSE

fedor.2. wrote: »

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place. I dont know why i did it as we have a downstairs bathroom.

But......on the other hand if the above is true you'll be saving a fortune on water charges when they come in by not using your toilet. :pac::pac:

fedor.2.

When i thought i heard her coming down the hallway i tried to buckle up but for some reason i forgot how to button a fly and tie a belt, i just ended up with wet hands

Seachmall

Show her a series of battered wife pictures to let her know how grateful she should be that you only piss in/on/at things when drunk.

The High King

Just get her to make you a sandwich. Simples

The Orphan

Fago! wrote: »

I'm sure many people here have pissed in the kitchen sink before. I have!

me too! and I've takin' a **** in a Lidl bag.

Mr. Denton

fedor.2. wrote: »

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place

Did you leave the fire-guard up or down when you did it?

fedor.2.

Mr. Denton wrote: »

Did you leave the fire-guard up or down when you did it?

Down, i was even careful enough to just piss up the side and back walls of the fireplace so i wouldn't leave a puddle under the grate

Mr. Denton

fedor.2. wrote: »

Down, i was even careful enough to just piss up the side and back walls of the fireplace so i wouldn't leave a puddle under the grate

Well you'll get some points for that. Women hate it when you leave the fire-guard up.

Turpentine

Tell her to stop bothering you when you're having a piss.

Sonnenblumen

fedor.2. wrote: »

Last night after arriving home after a few drinks i got caught by my wife taking a piss in the fire place. I dont know why i did it as we have a downstairs bathroom.

I have previous with this sort of thing as ive pissed in the kitchen sink, the bath and the bathroom sink. I dont know why i do it, i think i need help

Are we bragging about your big caravan again?

Floodric

I never understood people not pissing in the toilet when they're drunk. I have a mate (Who shall go un-named) that pissed in the bin in me room which was made outta Wicker. Piss everywhere.

Or one time in his house I woke up to see him pissing in his own waredrobe.

blogga

I think you were disappointed by Santa in your youth and subconsciously trying to prepare a trap.

Lorri_L

Never understood why men do this. Never heard of a woman sitting in a sink to go to the toilet.

Sonnenblumen

Lorri_L wrote: »

Never understood why men do this. Never heard of a woman sitting in a sink to go to the toilet.

Don't be so unkind to men;)

Son Of A Vidic

TheZohan wrote: »

Seriously though, how long are you hitched?

Probably not for much longer I'd imagine.

OP - even a dog knows better than to p1ss on its own doorstep.

Shotgun_TEXAS

bet you its only ever when your're completely Langered your like me you dont Know when to stop.

G_R

Xivilai wrote: »

Does it burn when you pee?

If he keeps pissing in the fireplace it will!

OP s'all good, when you're drunk you aren't to be held accountable for you're actions. Just yell the missus I said it was OK.