Stupid things you do when half asleep.

W.Shakes-Beer

Yesterday morning I went to put petrol in the car before work.

Knowing I had a twenty in my wallet I decided to put a tenner of petrol in and I could use that tenner today to get my hair chopped.

I just cruised into the petrol station, sleepily handed the girl(I think) the twenty while saying to her "Tenner on number 1" and walked out.


I went until about 12 pm on my lunch break when looking into my wallet that I realised what I'd done, felt like a gobshíte.


Any stories from the early morning when half asleep?

cosanostra

Did you get her number?

pragmatic1

Leave a pizza in the oven and come back 20 minutes later to see that the oven wasnt turned on. Nearly kill myself when driving.

W.Shakes-Beer

cosanostra wrote: »

Did you get her number?

No, it was a straight out fail on my part.

El Weirdo

Fuck the tenner, I'm more concerned that you're driving around in a car whilst half asleep.

Abi

I've done the oven thing too, a lot. A speciality of mine is lashing on the clothes and half out the door by the time I realise its the weekend. I often grab a sneaky nap for an hour when I get home in the evening, and with the bright mornings /evenings I wake up confused.. cue me running down the stairs again thinking Im running late :rolleyes:



A lad I used to work with had to come down from the north every day, and upon asking him does he not be bollixed doing that all the time he said. 'ah it doesn't bother me anymore. sure I get into the car half asleep, and before I know it I'm outside the job, wondering how I got there.' :eek:

RachaelVO

Haven't so much done the oven thing, but I've done it with the kettle.

Teabag in cup, kettle filled... off I go to do summit for a minute or two, come back and I forgot to put the kettle on :mad::mad:

damagegt

2 things spring to mind.Iv taken the wrapper off some thing and held on to it and throwen what ever it was on in to the bin.Im always putting milk back in the freezer instead of the fridge

sh1tstirrer

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

Yesterday morning I went to put petrol in the car before work.

Knowing I had a twenty in my wallet I decided to put a tenner of petrol in and I could use that tenner today to get my hair chopped.

I just cruised into the petrol station, sleepily handed the girl(I think) the twenty while saying to her "Tenner on number 1" and walked out.


I went until about 12 pm on my lunch break when looking into my wallet that I realised what I'd done, felt like a gobshíte.


Any stories from the early morning when half asleep?

I wake up fully the minute I get out of bed but like you I see plenty of semi conscious idiots driving every morning :rolleyes:

W.Shakes-Beer

sh1tstirrer wrote: »

I wake up fully the minute I get out of bed but like you I see plenty of semi conscious idiots driving every morning :rolleyes:

Living up to your username I see.


I'll have you know I'm an impeccable driver

Not one of the "no indicating, lane changing, tail gating, lane hogging" gobshítes I see every morning on the M50.

sh1tstirrer

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

Living up to your username I see.


I'll have you know I'm an impeccable driver

Not one of the "no indicating, lane changing, tail gating, lane hogging" gobshítes I see every morning on the M50.

What has my username got to do with it?

Yes you probably are but not when you are half asleep

Symptoms of driving while half asleep

AckwelFoley

i cracked my missus square in the face with a head butt about a year ago. I was in a fight in my dream, she tried to wake me and ..em i dont know, but i launched in with a head butt. I didnt hit her that hard as it broke nothing, but it hurt none the less.
Normally its only flying hammer fists or id be talking in my sleep- its at that point she fishes for informaton

Twee.

Attempting to tidy after breakfast, milk in cereal press and cereal in the press with bowls. All very confusing.

Sweatynutsack

Remember waking up one morning late for work, threw on the trousers and shirt and raced into work and tore up the stairs to clock in. On my way back down the stairs i saw 3 girls laughing !! My boxers that i had taken off the previous night were hanging out the leg of my trousers completely unknown to me

(It happens when you (lazely) take trousers and boxers off at the same time )

Abi

snyper wrote: »

i cracked my missus square in the face with a head butt about a year ago. I was in a fight in my dream, she tried to wake me and ..em i dont know, but i launched in with a head butt. I didnt hit her that hard as it broke nothing, but it hurt none the less.
Normally its only flying hammer fists or id be talking in my sleep- its at that point she fishes for informaton

Jesus Snyp, I'm surprised she's not sleeping in another room :pac:

W.Shakes-Beer wrote: »

Living up to your username I see.

Obvious stirrer is obvious

Richard Hillman

Put hair gel on my face thinking its moisturiser.

Dravokivich

almost put soap on my tooth brush quite a lot lately.

W.Shakes-Beer

Dravokivich wrote: »

almost put soap on my tooth brush quite a lot lately.

I can remember doing similar! Almost used Savlon Antiseptic cream once as toothpaste.

c-note

I think we've all poured tea into our cereal, yes?:D

W.Shakes-Beer

c-note wrote: »

I think we've all poured tea into our cereal, yes?:D

I remember years ago going to have a bowl of Cheerios and there was no milk. I thought they'd taste well with just cold water. I was wrong.

Sweatynutsack

c-note wrote: »

I think we've all poured tea into our cereal, yes?:D

No, but i've poured cereal into my tea, much nicer

Dravokivich

c-note wrote: »

I think we've all poured tea into our cereal, yes?:D

Orange Juice

MoonDancer

I had work at 12pm one Sunday, I woke up, saw it was quarter to 3. Got dressed quickly, Ran down the road in a panic, to realise it was only quarter past 9.

Another morning, I poured milk into the coffee jar instead, ugh!

Mr. Manager

My linen basket and toilet are directly opposite and twice I've stumbled into the bathroom sleepy eyed and lifted the lid on the toilet on to throw my jocks in there and then turn around and wizz in the linen basket.

Also, I'm sure I'm not alone on this but put cereal in the fridge and the milk in the press...

Abi

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

My linen basket and toilet are directly opposite and twice I've stumbled into the bathroom sleepy eyed and lifted the lid on the toilet on to throw my jocks in there and then turn around and wizz in the linen basket.

Sleepy-eyed or pissed? :pac:

Also, I'm sure I'm not alone on this but put cereal in the fridge and the milk in the press...

All the time >.<

iPlop

When I was working shift ,I used to drive home in the mornings and when I got home I never used to remember the journey home, even when I thought about it:eek: It scared the hell out of me at times, I mean how in the name of God did I drive home????????????

Spook80

Sink The Banana wrote: »

When I was working shift ,I used to drive home in the mornings and when I got home I never used to remember the journey home, even when I thought about it:eek: It scared the hell out of me at times, I mean how in the name of God did I drive home????????????

wow that actually happens to me a lot, never actually thought i was tired, maybe im just a daydreamer.
All of a sudden id be at lights, close to my destinatation and i wouldnt have a clue of how i got there. Did i just break every light on the way and leave a trail of carnage behind me. i start checking the news every so often then just in case :pac:

Tar.Aldarion

think my boyfriend has no penis

ball

Scraped the remains of breakfast into the sink and threw the plate in the bin.

Mr. Manager

Abi wrote: »

Sleepy-eyed or pissed? :pac:



All the time >.<

When I was pissed I did something way worse... Came home hammered, crawled into bed with the missus with plans of getting up to hanky panky, which we did briefly.

I fell asleep then awoke in the middle of the night with a rampant urge to urinate. Went to toilet, began the process but didn't hear the splash in the bowl







.....was still wearing the condom.


Worst part was trying to wrestle it off without blasting myself in the face.

iPlop

DaveM80 wrote: »

wow that actually happens to me a lot, never actually thought i was tired, maybe im just a daydreamer.
All of a sudden id be at lights, close to my destinatation and i wouldnt have a clue of how i got there. Did i just break every light on the way and leave a trail of carnage behind me. i start checking the news every so often then just in case :pac:

I got home one morning and to my surprise there was milk and a sliced pan beside me in the car, I didn't remember buying it or where I bought it, I just knew I was hungry so I must have stopped off to buy it.Freaky stuff!

df1985

said thanks to an ATM.

put my keys in the fridge......then went on a big hunt for the keys.

fasttalkerchat

Falling asleep when driving. I pulled over once cos I was tired and woke up 2 hours later. Lucky that I had the sense to stop.

fasttalkerchat

snyper wrote: »

i cracked my missus square in the face with a head butt about a year ago. I was in a fight in my dream, she tried to wake me and ..em i dont know, but i launched in with a head butt. I didnt hit her that hard as it broke nothing, but it hurt none the less.
Normally its only flying hammer fists or id be talking in my sleep- its at that point she fishes for informaton

I've done this 3 times over the past few weeks. I also come out with rubbish when she asks me anything.

bronte

One night I was passed out on the bed after a few bevvies.
I was in that half asleep half awake state and I realised i still had my make-up on. I reached over and took a pack of face wipes and some cleanser from the bedside locker and started sleepily taking off my eye makeup. Bout a minute goes by and I'm wondering why the fcuk my eyes are stinging so badly....look at the bottle of cleanser and discover it's not cleanser it's fcuking nail polish remover!

Mr. Manager

bronte wrote: »

One night I was passed out on the bed after a few bevvies.
I was in that half asleep half awake state and I realised i still had my make-up on. I reached over and took a pack of face wipes and some cleanser from the bedside locker and started sleepily taking off my eye makeup. Bout a minute goes by and I'm wondering why the fcuk my eyes are stinging so badly....look at the bottle of cleanser and discover it's not cleanser it's fcuking nail polish remover!

Ouch

iPlop

bronte wrote: »

One night I was passed out on the bed after a few bevvies.
I was in that half asleep half awake state and I realised i still had my make-up on. I reached over and took a pack of face wipes and some cleanser from the bedside locker and started sleepily taking off my eye makeup. Bout a minute goes by and I'm wondering why the fcuk my eyes are stinging so badly....look at the bottle of cleanser and discover it's not cleanser it's fcuking nail polish remover!

I'd say that was like washing your face with bleech, that must have hurt for a while.

ImpossibleDuck

c-note wrote: »

I think we've all poured tea into our cereal, yes?:D

Frigging poured me milk into the kettle the other day. Was not impressed when the time came for me to pour me tea.

PseudoFamous

I put a berocca in a cup of tea once, and didn't realise it until there was only the dregs left.

Abi

ball wrote: »

Scraped the remains of breakfast into the sink and threw the plate in the bin.

This would be me too, the amount of times >.<

I've also got my three bins lined up out the back and I robotically empty stuff into them without thinking. I've fired plates, bowls and cutlery into the brown bin - half way back in the back door when I realise what I've done.. speshul :pac:

bronte wrote: »

One night I was passed out on the bed after a few bevvies.
I was in that half asleep half awake state and I realised i still had my make-up on. I reached over and took a pack of face wipes and some cleanser from the bedside locker and started sleepily taking off my eye makeup. Bout a minute goes by and I'm wondering why the fcuk my eyes are stinging so badly....look at the bottle of cleanser and discover it's not cleanser it's fcuking nail polish remover!

Emergency make-up remover wipes ftw

OwaynOTT

Drove to my old place of work and what was about ten mins into the drive before copped on.
Reversed straight back into my girlfriends classic beetle that was parked behind. I saw it but still flew into it.

lil'bug

OwaynOTT wrote: »

Reversed straight back into my girlfriends classic beetle that was parked behind. I saw it but still flew into it.

:eek: :eek: :eek:
poor bug!! did you do much damage?

my other half used to act out his nightmares he dragged me out of the bed one night because he thought the roof was falling in

Millicent

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

My linen basket and toilet are directly opposite and twice I've stumbled into the bathroom sleepy eyed and lifted the lid on the toilet on to throw my jocks in there and then turn around and wizz in the linen basket.

Would it not be time to start considering moving the linen basket?

ImpossibleDuck

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

turn around and wizz in the linen basket.

Bernard Black. Black books.

brokenhinge

Came home exhausted from work during the week, couldn't get my keys to work so I started hammering down the door. Some asians answered and after a minute or two of confusing conversation I saw the number on the door.

I was in the wrong apartment block. Scarleh.

castletownman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jIYBatQyCM

OwaynOTT

lil'bug wrote: »

:eek: :eek: :eek:
poor bug!! did you do much damage?

my other half used to act out his nightmares he dragged me out of the bed one night because he thought the roof was falling in

Dent in front wing and took a few layers of paint off but any damage is too much damage on that car. I did however try to blame herself for parking it there ,didnt work.

Aoifey!

A couple of months ago I fell asleep during the day and was woken by my phone ringing at around 7 p.m. I was so tired and confused I answered the phone by saying "What time is it?" The confused person told me the time. I said "Alright so, thought I was late for college" then mumbled to myself for a while. Would of been grand if it was a friend ringing, but it turned out it was the bank and I just made myself sound like a retard.

sunflower27

I once fell asleep on the bus and woke up and for a split second wasn't sure if I was going to work or going home from work. I had to check which side of the Liffey I was on. I was devastated when I realised I was going to work.

Needler

sunflower27 wrote: »

I once fell asleep on the bus and woke up and for a split second wasn't sure if I was going to work or going home from work. I had to check which side of the Liffey I was on. I was devastated when I realised I was going to work.

I fell asleep on a bus and ended up in Buttevant

Say Your Number

Put bread in the fridge.