Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink?

Rocket19

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

old hippy

The thing is, do you like him? Don't let drink be a factor in whether or not there's chemistry.

If you got drunk once in front of him, that's acceptable. But if it was a regular thing, maybe it's not meant to be.

booboo88

Yea, why not? My ex used to still come out to clubs and pubs just a personal choice to not drink but was still good craic. Another ex on the other hand cant seem to live without going for a pint :rolleyes: so id prefer a guy on opposite extreme being honest

chin_grin

You don't need to drink to have a good time. Remain sober and pick out the girl with the least inhibitions and easily seduce her with phrases like "yeah so I work out".

............I don't do this as I'm a taken man.

Logical Fallacy

Kind of funny that someone not drinking would be an issue.

As long as they can have a laugh, have no problem with you having a sup etc i don't see the issue.

To be honest, even back in the days i did drink, going out with someone who would drink way too much on the regular always lead to the death of the relationship....so i don't think it's a drinker/non-drinker divide.

Frank Black

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

Jaysus! - here we go.

_ariadne

depends, if he was the type to look down on me everytime I reached for a beer it would never work.

But if he was laid back about it it would be fine.

Knasher

I'd go in the opposite direction, I'm not sure I could date somebody who couldn't imagine a social life beyond drink.

That's not to say I don't enjoy the odd drink, but I never enjoyed the idea of going drinking multiple times every weekend.

Guill

Her Story:

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

His story:

Met this drunk girl.

Easy pickins............

Lumbo

Your mates will love your new found designated driver :P

orourkeda

At least they cant use the beer goggles excuse

7Sins

Nope, couldn't and wouldn't want to go with someone close to sobriety. Think about going for a night out with him, just the two of ye....and you're skulling back the vino's to unwind after a hard week and he's sitting quietly in the corner watching you make a mess of yourself. B-O-R-I-N-G.

sbsquarepants

Call me old fashioned but i still view people who don't drink with suspicion!
I know it makes precious little sense but i still do it. I don't think i'd be able to go out with a tee totaler. That being said my missus hardly ever drinks anymore, but that once in a blue moon is still an important difference:D

kfallon

orourkeda wrote: »

At least they cant use the beer goggles excuse

Ah ya bollix I was just about to type this!!!

up for anything

I've heard it all now. :rolleyes:

Michael 09

I bet you weren't complaining about the fact that he was in good shape though?

You should admire his discipline, not question his perceived "lack of fun".

old hippy

7Sins wrote: »

Nope, couldn't and wouldn't want to go with someone close to sobriety. Think about going for a night out with him, just the two of ye....and you're skulling back the vino's to unwind after a hard week and he's sitting quietly in the corner watching you make a mess of yourself. B-O-R-I-N-G.

He probably would be bored witless if it was regular, yup. Wouldn't blame him.

Caraville

Wouldn't bother me if he didn't drink- but what would bother me is if he judged me or my friends for doing so.

You know, one of those "Jaysus, the state of you last night, let me remind you..." type people.

Judgy McJudgersons.

MonaghanPenguin

7Sins wrote: »

Nope, couldn't and wouldn't want to go with someone close to sobriety. Think about going for a night out with him, just the two of ye....and you're skulling back the vino's to unwind after a hard week and he's sitting quietly in the corner watching you make a mess of yourself. B-O-R-I-N-G.

sitting quietly in the corner? Most of my friends who don't drink are the most mental!
I initially thought this thread was horrible, but thinking about it, when I was the OPs age I probably would have felt the same so can't honestly be judgemental. Just don't throw away something that could be good and regret it later.

unbeat

right so... love of your life is out with you partying and getting drunk every weekend, you get engaged and he/she turns round and says 'ive been to the doctor and im not to consume alcohol anymore'. so would you dump him/her.

Elmidena

My partner doesn't like drinking so over the course of a multi-year relationship can probably count the alcohol-including instances on two hands. I'm perfectly happy in his company but there are times when I feel like a drink (even in the house) I get a bit frustrated if I hear "I don't want one but you can have one if you like"....I live in the country and thus automatic designated driver (he can't get a license) if we were to go out, and the idea of drinking at home by yourself (ie non drinking companion) isn't that appealing. It's not a make or break in any relationship, he does drink rarely and I don't love booze more than him. It's personal preference of not drinking to drinking and potentially being silently judged (or so the voices in my head tell me!)

Though it's not the case for me, a bit of advice I've not seen pop up yet is to make sure if he doesn't drink he's 100% fine with you drinking. Could be a cause for emotional/other abuse down the line if he got a hold on your feelings, so be careful

flutterflye

I can see that it may cause difficulties.

Drunk people act stupidly and talk crap, so it may be awkward knowing that you were acting like a gobshyte infront of him.

And also he may not have as much fun as everyone else who is drunk, because again with the stupidity and hilarity of crap which is unique to drunkards.

So going out to pubs, clubs, parties, may become awkward the more drunk people get, and you may feel the need to constantly make sure he is okay and enjoying himself?

I don't know.

It depends on how he acts in such situations I guess.
If he can laugh, dance and talk crap with all the drunk people and still enjoy himself. Or else just quietly make his exit when he has had enough without expecting you to come too.

I personally hate when I'm not drunk and everyone else is!

But I would never let something which is essentially quite trivial come between me and a guy that I actually thought could go somewhere.

themadchef

Rocket19 wrote: »

Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?

Only if they were egits to begin with. Drink doesnt have to equate with being pissed all the time. All things in moderation.

Bet this saves him a fortune on Rohypnol.

Mensch Maschine

Some things that may be a hindrance in the future.

Sometimes, when you have a drink, you may want to keep going and he might be saying 'let's go home.' Could lead to friction but sure that happens even when both parties drink.

Getting drunk in front of him could prove a little weird if not embarrassing given that I'm sure he'll be able to recite the whole night.

Other that that it may open your eyes to more recreational activities (although there are seemingly feck all here in Ireland) for you to do instead of drinking. Going bowling, outdoor adventures etc.

Might be easier in the future when you want to go out (but not with him) with the girls/lads that you plan on a big pissup and sober joes aren't welcome.

I wouldn't say I couldn't go out with a sober girl but the way my life is now it wouldn't work. The only way I could, is if I sobered up too which could probably be a good idea.

kfallon

unbeat wrote: »

right so... love of your life is out with you partying and getting drunk every weekend, you get engaged and he/she turns round and says 'ive been to the doctor and im not to consume alcohol anymore'. so would you dump him/her.

Like a hot snot....the boring bitch :pac:

coffee_cake

Yes but then I am not really a drinker at all so...!

Rocket19

unbeat wrote: »

right so... love of your life is out with you partying and getting drunk every weekend, you get engaged and he/she turns round and says 'ive been to the doctor and im not to consume alcohol anymore'. so would you dump him/her.

Of course not!
I just couldn't help feeling he would be bored if I took him out with my friends and we were all drinking.
I just know I would be paranoid thinking he would be thinking we're idiotic, destroying our bodies, etc! Surely he would wanna be doing something else?

He doesn't seem judgemental or anything, and I don't have a problem with it because I think he's weird, or anything like that. Its just that I can't help feeling he'd feel alienated from my social life.

It seems 'normal' to have a few drinks with a guy (not get really drunk) but that's something I couldn't suggest with him.
Obviously there are other things we can do, but its just different I guess.

later12

I dated a hot girl in college (no really I did... briefly) and the only downside was that she didnt drink. I found that for the few months we dated, my social life expired. I had been on an ents committee and I just gave up going because all of my evening were taken up with going hiking, biking, or going to restaurants, or comedy gigs, and loads of other stuff that I would previously have engaged in much less regularly if I had been my old Buckfast guzzling self.

I also went to the gym a lot more and became fantastically rich from all the money I am saving. I think I became so rich at one stage I would have been able to afford to buy her an engagement ring. But then I kissed her best friend, who was this beer swilling tart from Cavan, and I went back to being a beer swilling drunk and arrogant slob myself, eating taco fries at 4am in the rain when I get locked out of my house for the third time in a week and its only Tuesday...

Columbia

I don't drink, and the only time it's ever been a problem are the two or three girls who swore off drink because they thought it'd make me more likely to date them.

Respect dropped to zero, instantly.

I've been in relationships with both drinkers and non-drinkers, and there has never been any issues with it.

Where To

Yes.

Alcohol is evil.

biko

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.