Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink?

Rocket19

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

old hippy

The thing is, do you like him? Don't let drink be a factor in whether or not there's chemistry.

If you got drunk once in front of him, that's acceptable. But if it was a regular thing, maybe it's not meant to be.

booboo88

Yea, why not? My ex used to still come out to clubs and pubs just a personal choice to not drink but was still good craic. Another ex on the other hand cant seem to live without going for a pint :rolleyes: so id prefer a guy on opposite extreme being honest

chin_grin

You don't need to drink to have a good time. Remain sober and pick out the girl with the least inhibitions and easily seduce her with phrases like "yeah so I work out".

............I don't do this as I'm a taken man.

Logical Fallacy

Kind of funny that someone not drinking would be an issue.

As long as they can have a laugh, have no problem with you having a sup etc i don't see the issue.

To be honest, even back in the days i did drink, going out with someone who would drink way too much on the regular always lead to the death of the relationship....so i don't think it's a drinker/non-drinker divide.

Frank Black

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

Jaysus! - here we go.

_ariadne

depends, if he was the type to look down on me everytime I reached for a beer it would never work.

But if he was laid back about it it would be fine.

Knasher

I'd go in the opposite direction, I'm not sure I could date somebody who couldn't imagine a social life beyond drink.

That's not to say I don't enjoy the odd drink, but I never enjoyed the idea of going drinking multiple times every weekend.

Guill

Her Story:

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

His story:

Met this drunk girl.

Easy pickins............

Lumbo

Your mates will love your new found designated driver :P

orourkeda

At least they cant use the beer goggles excuse

7Sins

Nope, couldn't and wouldn't want to go with someone close to sobriety. Think about going for a night out with him, just the two of ye....and you're skulling back the vino's to unwind after a hard week and he's sitting quietly in the corner watching you make a mess of yourself. B-O-R-I-N-G.

sbsquarepants

Call me old fashioned but i still view people who don't drink with suspicion!
I know it makes precious little sense but i still do it. I don't think i'd be able to go out with a tee totaler. That being said my missus hardly ever drinks anymore, but that once in a blue moon is still an important difference:D

kfallon

orourkeda wrote: »

At least they cant use the beer goggles excuse

Ah ya bollix I was just about to type this!!!

up for anything

I've heard it all now. :rolleyes:

Michael 09

I bet you weren't complaining about the fact that he was in good shape though?

You should admire his discipline, not question his perceived "lack of fun".

old hippy

7Sins wrote: »

Nope, couldn't and wouldn't want to go with someone close to sobriety. Think about going for a night out with him, just the two of ye....and you're skulling back the vino's to unwind after a hard week and he's sitting quietly in the corner watching you make a mess of yourself. B-O-R-I-N-G.

He probably would be bored witless if it was regular, yup. Wouldn't blame him.

Caraville

Wouldn't bother me if he didn't drink- but what would bother me is if he judged me or my friends for doing so.

You know, one of those "Jaysus, the state of you last night, let me remind you..." type people.

Judgy McJudgersons.

MonaghanPenguin

7Sins wrote: »

Nope, couldn't and wouldn't want to go with someone close to sobriety. Think about going for a night out with him, just the two of ye....and you're skulling back the vino's to unwind after a hard week and he's sitting quietly in the corner watching you make a mess of yourself. B-O-R-I-N-G.

sitting quietly in the corner? Most of my friends who don't drink are the most mental!
I initially thought this thread was horrible, but thinking about it, when I was the OPs age I probably would have felt the same so can't honestly be judgemental. Just don't throw away something that could be good and regret it later.

unbeat

right so... love of your life is out with you partying and getting drunk every weekend, you get engaged and he/she turns round and says 'ive been to the doctor and im not to consume alcohol anymore'. so would you dump him/her.

Elmidena

My partner doesn't like drinking so over the course of a multi-year relationship can probably count the alcohol-including instances on two hands. I'm perfectly happy in his company but there are times when I feel like a drink (even in the house) I get a bit frustrated if I hear "I don't want one but you can have one if you like"....I live in the country and thus automatic designated driver (he can't get a license) if we were to go out, and the idea of drinking at home by yourself (ie non drinking companion) isn't that appealing. It's not a make or break in any relationship, he does drink rarely and I don't love booze more than him. It's personal preference of not drinking to drinking and potentially being silently judged (or so the voices in my head tell me!)

Though it's not the case for me, a bit of advice I've not seen pop up yet is to make sure if he doesn't drink he's 100% fine with you drinking. Could be a cause for emotional/other abuse down the line if he got a hold on your feelings, so be careful

flutterflye

I can see that it may cause difficulties.

Drunk people act stupidly and talk crap, so it may be awkward knowing that you were acting like a gobshyte infront of him.

And also he may not have as much fun as everyone else who is drunk, because again with the stupidity and hilarity of crap which is unique to drunkards.

So going out to pubs, clubs, parties, may become awkward the more drunk people get, and you may feel the need to constantly make sure he is okay and enjoying himself?

I don't know.

It depends on how he acts in such situations I guess.
If he can laugh, dance and talk crap with all the drunk people and still enjoy himself. Or else just quietly make his exit when he has had enough without expecting you to come too.

I personally hate when I'm not drunk and everyone else is!

But I would never let something which is essentially quite trivial come between me and a guy that I actually thought could go somewhere.

themadchef

Rocket19 wrote: »

Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?

Only if they were egits to begin with. Drink doesnt have to equate with being pissed all the time. All things in moderation.

Bet this saves him a fortune on Rohypnol.

Mensch Maschine

Some things that may be a hindrance in the future.

Sometimes, when you have a drink, you may want to keep going and he might be saying 'let's go home.' Could lead to friction but sure that happens even when both parties drink.

Getting drunk in front of him could prove a little weird if not embarrassing given that I'm sure he'll be able to recite the whole night.

Other that that it may open your eyes to more recreational activities (although there are seemingly feck all here in Ireland) for you to do instead of drinking. Going bowling, outdoor adventures etc.

Might be easier in the future when you want to go out (but not with him) with the girls/lads that you plan on a big pissup and sober joes aren't welcome.

I wouldn't say I couldn't go out with a sober girl but the way my life is now it wouldn't work. The only way I could, is if I sobered up too which could probably be a good idea.

kfallon

unbeat wrote: »

right so... love of your life is out with you partying and getting drunk every weekend, you get engaged and he/she turns round and says 'ive been to the doctor and im not to consume alcohol anymore'. so would you dump him/her.

Like a hot snot....the boring bitch :pac:

Yes but then I am not really a drinker at all so...!

Rocket19

unbeat wrote: »

right so... love of your life is out with you partying and getting drunk every weekend, you get engaged and he/she turns round and says 'ive been to the doctor and im not to consume alcohol anymore'. so would you dump him/her.

Of course not!
I just couldn't help feeling he would be bored if I took him out with my friends and we were all drinking.
I just know I would be paranoid thinking he would be thinking we're idiotic, destroying our bodies, etc! Surely he would wanna be doing something else?

He doesn't seem judgemental or anything, and I don't have a problem with it because I think he's weird, or anything like that. Its just that I can't help feeling he'd feel alienated from my social life.

It seems 'normal' to have a few drinks with a guy (not get really drunk) but that's something I couldn't suggest with him.
Obviously there are other things we can do, but its just different I guess.

later12

I dated a hot girl in college (no really I did... briefly) and the only downside was that she didnt drink. I found that for the few months we dated, my social life expired. I had been on an ents committee and I just gave up going because all of my evening were taken up with going hiking, biking, or going to restaurants, or comedy gigs, and loads of other stuff that I would previously have engaged in much less regularly if I had been my old Buckfast guzzling self.

I also went to the gym a lot more and became fantastically rich from all the money I am saving. I think I became so rich at one stage I would have been able to afford to buy her an engagement ring. But then I kissed her best friend, who was this beer swilling tart from Cavan, and I went back to being a beer swilling drunk and arrogant slob myself, eating taco fries at 4am in the rain when I get locked out of my house for the third time in a week and its only Tuesday...

Columbia

I don't drink, and the only time it's ever been a problem are the two or three girls who swore off drink because they thought it'd make me more likely to date them.

Respect dropped to zero, instantly.

I've been in relationships with both drinkers and non-drinkers, and there has never been any issues with it.

Where To

Yes.

Alcohol is evil.

biko

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

sparks24

nope dont trust people who dont drink at all... why not? are they mental? does the drink release the demon in there head?

didn't trust obama till he had a nice sup in monegall lol

azezil

Yes I would. I'd find someone very boring if all they ever wanted to do was get drunk every weekend, I prefer spend my money on other stuff.

Also, would you not take it as a compliment that a sober person asked for your number? I certainly would and did that one time I met (I was extremely drunk) a sober guy in a club. Damn fun sex that night, horniest guy I've met in years ^_^

Caraville

biko wrote: »

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Ah, Mr. Sinatra, is it yourself that's in it?

flutterflye

Rocket19 wrote: »

I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

Maybe he can show you ways to have fun outside of drinking?

Caoimhín

Of course.

Seriously, if your choice of partners is decided by how much you can drink when with them, maybe you need to have a good look at your drinking habits.

Guill

Caoimhín wrote: »

Of course.

Seriously, if your choice of partners is decided by how much you can drink when with them, maybe you need to have a good look at your drinking habits.

Or a find good drinking game.

Big Nasty

Drink is your friend!:pac:

Cupcake_Crisis

My ex wasn't a drinker at all. Had it upsides and its downsides .I always had soLeone to take me hone and put me safely into bed when i had one many, but i also had so.eons.e to moan at ne the next day fir getting drunk. There's nithi.g wrong with not being a drinker as long as your not a dry shite about it.

He was a dry shite about it.

Novella

Yup, a non-drinker would be right up my street. I'm just not a fan of the going out every weekend just to get drunk mentality. I'd prefer a non-drinker to a person whose entire social life revolved around alcohol. Different strokes and all that.

Mayo Miss

My boyfriend doesn't drink but he has never looked badly on anyone who does. I was far from sober the night I met him.

I don't drink now as much as I used to but I'm still out every weekend, even more than I used to be before I met him. I almost had to retrain myself on how to socialise in pubs etc without relying on alcohol. Although it's been 2 months since I last had a big drink so I'm rounding up the women and planning on getting well merry this weekend.

Spread

Why does he not drink? Did he/does he have issues with it? Will his intolerance of personal alcohol consumption blur the boundaries of your enjoyment if you were an item? Getting pi$$ed together (very occasionally) is a great way of bonding. A lot of Personal Trainers are emotionally void, like the auld control thing, are narcissistic and tend to FART a lot (a diet rich in chick peas, legumes, fruit and raw veg etc). So if you want to live a life away from Big Irish Breakfasts, Bacon Cabbage and Spuds, a good blast in the pub/party, the odd visit to McDonalds and not having the bathroom mostly to yourself before heading out for the night, ......... go for it. But the ealry nights in, rigorous gym sessions, raw carrots in a self-closing bag, lack of spontaneity can get a trifle stifling after the first bloom. Let us know how you get on. If you really fancy him ...... disregard every iota from above. And enjoy!

Evonatron

My bf is a non-drinker, we have been going out about 4 years. We get on great but we do not socialise together when there is alcohol involved its pointless, I get drunk and start messing and he gets bored by 12.30 when I keep repeating myself. Occasionally at weddings/family events we will go out and its grand and we have a laugh but we would never get into the habit of it . I go drinking with my friends at the weekend or I go for dinner/cinema with bf. I generally dont drink at home,I think because my parents never did but if I want a glass of wine Ill buy a bottle.

He once recorded me drunkingly rambling and believe me never did it again! But then we are settled down,living together have a baby etc If I was aged 18-23 I would have found it really hard to date a non drinker when your whole life revolves around going out. When I was pregnant going out wrecked my head and I could never enjoy myself when everyone else got drunk, its not the same buzz so I can understand why he is allergic to going out.

Give it go, see where it goes you dont have to marry the guy but you might have a good time finding out if he is bf material, but I wouldnt even worry about that your young, go out have a laugh if something comes of it then great.........

Vinta81

My friends boyfriend doesn't drink but he has no problem with her or anyone being drunk etc... He's a laugh on a night out.

For me? If he didn't have a problem with me drinking and all that then it's fine, wouldn't bother me.

Caraville

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

My ex wasn't a drinker at all. Had it upsides and its downsides .I always had soLeone to take me hone and put me safely into bed when i had one many, but i also had so.eons.e to moan at ne the next day fir getting drunk. There's nithi.g wrong with not being a drinker as long as your not a dry shite about it.

He was a dry shite about it.

Are you drunk now???

Big Nasty

Cupcake_Crisis wrote: »

My ex wasn't a drinker at all. Had it upsides and its downsides .I always had soLeone to take me hone and put me safely into bed when i had one many, but i also had so.eons.e to moan at ne the next day fir getting drunk. There's nithi.g wrong with not being a drinker as long as your not a dry shite about it.

He was a dry shite about it.

Are you drunk now!?!:eek::D:eek:

COYW

Rocket19 wrote: »

Of course not!
I just couldn't help feeling he would be bored if I took him out with my friends and we were all drinking.
I just know I would be paranoid thinking he would be thinking we're idiotic, destroying our bodies, etc! Surely he would wanna be doing something else?

He doesn't seem judgemental or anything, and I don't have a problem with it because I think he's weird, or anything like that. Its just that I can't help feeling he'd feel alienated from my social life.

It seems 'normal' to have a few drinks with a guy (not get really drunk) but that's something I couldn't suggest with him.
Obviously there are other things we can do, but its just different I guess.

Are you sure you don't have a problem with him being teetotal? Looking at the post above, I think you are trying to convince yourself that he is not "weird".

You make his teetotal nature sound like a disability. If you actually like this guy, I really can't see the issue in him having a non-alcoholic drink and you have an alcoholic one when you go out at night.

Scanlas The 2nd

Rocket19 wrote: »

Of course not!
I just couldn't help feeling he would be bored if I took him out with my friends and we were all drinking.
I just know I would be paranoid thinking he would be thinking we're idiotic, destroying our bodies, etc! Surely he would wanna be doing something else?

He doesn't seem judgemental or anything, and I don't have a problem with it because I think he's weird, or anything like that. Its just that I can't help feeling he'd feel alienated from my social life.

It seems 'normal' to have a few drinks with a guy (not get really drunk) but that's something I couldn't suggest with him.
Obviously there are other things we can do, but its just different I guess.

Ask him to eat caramels with you.

DWCommuter

Rocket19 wrote: »

I met a guy in a club over the weekend, he took my number and we went on a date last night.
It didn't take me long to discover that he doesn't drink (he's a personal trainer). Kind of embarassing that I didn't realise this when we met (I was pretty drunk, he must have been sober), but oh well.

While I totally respect that he chooses not to drink, it was admittedly unchartered territory for me. While I have other hobbies, I'm college age and a lot of my social life revolves around alcohol (like most people I guess).

He seems a lovely guy and is great craic but I couldn't help thinking he would feel somewhat removed from my social life. (Although I did meet him in a club, so I can assume he still does the 'normal' things, just without the drink). Aren't drunk people really annoying and unattractive when you're sober though?
Also, I think I'd feel weird getting drunk and acting the fool, while he soberly watched this unfold. :pac:

Could you go out with someone who doesn't drink (assuming you are a regular drinker).
I'm aware our dependence on alcohol for a good time is awful in Ireland, and I really don't get very drunk ever, but at the same time, I couldn't help thinking "what the hell am I gonna do with him!!?

If he doesn't drink, he's not a man. GTFO of Dodge.

Show Time

It is more of a pain in the backside to be a non drinker going out with someone who needs to go drinking on a date.

Shelga

I'm a regular drinker, my boyfriend is pretty much teetotal. I much prefer it that way to a guy who drinks as much as or more than me. Nothing more unattractive than Irish guys in their 20s bragging about how hammered they were last Saturday, like it's an achievement. :rolleyes:

I get too drunk sometimes, but he doesn't judge (much!), and overall it's a good balance.