ITT THE AFTER HOURS ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDELINES.

Scuid Mhór

FOR ALL YOU NEWBS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT WE HAVE PLANNED:

Zombies usually go for brains so most of AH will be okay but for the exceptions (who are few and far between), we need to go somewhere nobody would look. That's why, in a couple of hours, when the great reckoning of our time begins, I urge each and everyone of you to flee all the way over here. The angels of death will not be searching for us where they came from.

For this plan to succeed, we need two things. Basically, we're looking at natural selection and... the opposite. And then the posters between that.

The way I reason it is that for our brightest and best to survive and lead us into a new revolution (after which Ireland becomes the world's leading superpower when we invest in the energy powers of THE SEA). But we won't be able to survive if we all head off in the same direction... they will find us and eat our brains. That is why we need the clowns of AH to come with us and decrease the intelligence average.

Those who are between both categories shall stay here to make the zombies think we have not come up with a survival plan.

P.S. mods can you delete this at 23:59:59 exactly because we don't want the makers finding out my brilliant plan.

P.P.S. can everyone please form an orderly line and the COUNCIL OF THREE shall individually evaluate how well you fit in your chosen group.

Good luck, you're going to need it.

W.Shakes-Beer

Well. my plan was to take my car, rob B&Q for their chansaws and axes, go to airside Volkswagen and rob a huge van, go to a petrol station and rob all the food and diesel, head to leitrim, call into some farmer (who most likely hasn't heard of the appocalypse). kill the farmer, take his land, dig a mote with his tractor and live off his cattle and crops until the whole thing is over.

Anyone with me?

PS. May result in criminal record.

strokemyclover

Zombies in this country can easily be distracted by throwing cigarettes* and spare change on the ground. It would give you plenty of time to get some distance

*Don't forget a lighter just in case

Hells Belle

[/QUOTE] , I urge each and everyone of you to flee all the way over here. The angels of death will not be searching for us where they came from.

[/QUOTE]

Sorry what

Micky Dolenz

Joking about Zeds ain't cool.

Scuid Mhór

Hells Belle wrote: »

, I urge each and everyone of you to flee all the way over here. The angels of death will not be searching for us where they came from.

[/QUOTE]

Sorry what [/QUOTE]

I have evaluated you and you are not deemed worthy of being in the 'group that survives.'

:cool:

Dartz

Grab a motorcycle, grab a gun.... shooting anything and everything that moves in case it's a zombie.

And shoot everyone I can because goddamn there are plenty of people in this country that need a good shootin'

SadieSue

Are we talkin Night of the Living Dead zeds or 28 days later ones?

Micky Dolenz

SadieSue wrote: »

Are we talkin Night of the Living Dead zeds or 28 days later ones?

28 days later weren't Zeds, per se. :pac:

Scuid Mhór

SadieSue wrote: »

Are we talkin Night of the Living Dead zeds or 28 days later ones?

We are talking about what's going to happen in a few hours time... The Arc Zombies.

alwaysadub

Once i get food and cake at the communion im going to tomorrow first, i don't care what happens after!

SadieSue

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

28 days later weren't Zeds, per se. :pac:

They were a kind of a zombie!

Scuid Mhór wrote: »

We are talking about what's going to happen in a few hours time... The Arc Zombies.

Indeed but I want to know if I'll be grand with just a baseball bat or do I need to go camp out on my roof! I guess being on the roof is handier for being raptured.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

I would love Z day to happen. Im fairly confident I would survive.

Failing that....Im confident Id be a good Zed!


Bwainz.....I can haz Bwainz!!

Scarydoll

Stock up on axe's, scythes, rakes, shovels etc. Guns only draw attention.

Micky Dolenz

SadieSue wrote: »

They were a kind of a zombie!
.

They both share similar characteristics but are existentially different.

To be a Zombie you need to die and then come back as the living dead. The 28 days later peeps, were infected people., but I would want either tracking me down as they both hunt in hordes.

alwaysadub

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

They both share similar characteristics but are existentially different.

To be a Zombie you need to die and then come back as the living dead. The 28 days later peeps, were infected people., but I would want either tracking me down as they both hunt in hordes.

*cough*nerd*cough*

:P

My name is URL

wtf is this shit?!

Scuid Mhór

alwaysadub wrote: »

Once i get food and cake at the communion im going to tomorrow first, i don't care what happens after!

If starbelgrade arrives we will form the holy trinity and drive back these flesh eating imbeciles!

ShadowGal

I wish to f**K there was a zombie survival forum.... oh wait :pac:





ps there is and its the best

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1079

Scarydoll

My name is URL wrote: »

wtf is this shit?!

Your guide to survive the zombie apocalypse.

SadieSue

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

They both share similar characteristics but are existentially different.

To be a Zombie you need to die and then come back as the living dead. The 28 days later peeps, were infected people., but I would want either tracking me down as they both hunt in hordes.

I see.. I just remember them being overly bitey.

For Forks Sake

Who went and let all these people in here..? ...wait a minute.... ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

Micky Dolenz

alwaysadub wrote: »

*cough*nerd*cough*

:P

*Crosses alwaysadub off " Die to protect them if you have to but make sure they survive list"*


:P

ChaseThisLight

alwaysadub wrote: »

*cough*nerd*cough*

:P

The word you're looking for isn't 'nerd', it's survivor.

Scuid Mhór

Scarydoll wrote: »

Your guide to survive the zombie apocalypse.

All I'm saying is, Pokemon Blue came with a Red version so the zombie survival guide should be accompanied by an after hours version. I bet more of us will survive.

Micky Dolenz

SadieSue wrote: »

I see.. I just remember them being overly bitey.

yeah, best avoid both types really

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Weapon of choice against zombies????


Id kill a zed, then skin his entire head....when they come a knockin', Id put the Zeds face on me - a la Face Off - Style and just blend the fuck in!

Problem Zed's??

Hells Belle

[/QUOTE]

I have evaluated you and you are not deemed worthy of being in the 'group that survives.'

:cool:[/QUOTE]

I've a big bag of weed and a sack of sweets - I'll die happy :cool::pac:

alwaysadub

ChaseThisLight wrote: »

The word you're looking for isn't 'nerd', it's survivor.

Once i get to eat my cake beforehand i'll die happy!

El Guapo!

I hope this shít really does happen. A bit of excitement won't hurt anybody..............except the ones who die a horrible death. But on the plus side I wont have to go to work on Monday!

SadieSue

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

yeah, best avoid both types really

Indeed. To the roof!! I've a few hours to go though its only 5.37pm here.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

SadieSue wrote: »

Indeed. To the roof!! I've a few hours to go though its only 5.37pm here.

Theres time in Limbo? are there ary Zed's in Limbo?

ChaseThisLight

alwaysadub wrote: »

Once i get to eat my cake beforehand i'll die happy!

Seeing as you only need cake to die happy...I'll bake you a nice cake if you come stand near me when the zombies come.

Micky Dolenz

alwaysadub wrote: »

Once i get to eat my cake beforehand i'll die happy!

Don't be Zombie food. we need you to repopulate the new world.

SadieSue

benwavner wrote: »

Theres time in Limbo? are there ary Zed's in Limbo?

Time exists in Limbo.. That's why its Limbo. I like the word Limbo. If you say it a lot it kind of makes no sense. Limbo is Zed free although I have my suspicions about the neighbour in the basement.

foxinsox

oh crap...

There I was preparing for rapture..

I didn't know there was zombies and shiv in rapture..

I must have read it wrong..

Q. Can you get raptured by zombies?

Scuid Mhór

foxinsox wrote: »

Q. Can you get raptured by zombies?

It's important that we know exactly what is going on, hence this thread's creation.

Mint Sauce

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Joking about Zeds ain't cool.

Zeds dead baby. Zeds dead.

alwaysadub

ChaseThisLight wrote: »

Seeing as you only need cake to die happy...I'll bake you a nice cake if you come stand near me when the zombies come.

Deal!

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Don't be Zombie food. we need you to repopulate the new world.

All by myself?!
Jaysus,i'd wanna start now so..:pac:

ChaseThisLight

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Don't be Zombie food. we need you to repopulate the new world.

Micky, leave my zombie food alone! We have a deal. See?

alwaysadub wrote: »

Deal!

Enjoy your cake.

strokemyclover

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Joking about Zeds ain't cool.

I apologise....I think

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oCT0NqZIpk

OutlawPete

We're alive!! \o/

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Wait for it......wait for it......is it comin'?

thehairyelbow

That it then?

alwaysadub

I thought it wasn't till about 6pm?

Praetorian Saighdiuir

alwaysadub wrote: »

I thought it wasn't till about 6pm?

Crap, am I early??????

Mint Sauce

Theres was a fella on talksport (if you can pick it up) talking bout it now.

The presenter was asking if he could call him next week if we're all still alive.

alwaysadub

benwavner wrote: »

Crap, am I early??????

Better to be too early than too late in these situations!:D

Praetorian Saighdiuir

alwaysadub wrote: »

Better to be too early than too late in these situations!:D

As long as it doesnt happen in an "adult situation"

indough

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

They both share similar characteristics but are existentially different.

To be a Zombie you need to die and then come back as the living dead. The 28 days later peeps, were infected people., but I would want either tracking me down as they both hunt in hordes.

says who? technically that is incorrect as the original zombie stories involved people drugged so as to appear dead but then dug up from their graves. what youre talking about was pretty much a george romero invention

know your zombies, pal!

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/05/19/cdc_zombie_apocalypse/

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have released a report on how to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
...

Admiral Khan was not at liberty to discuss the secret plans the US government has for nuking zombies as they attack cities, but he did want to make sure we all know what we can do to survive should an Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency Syndrome break out in our neighborhoods and towns.

As it turns out, you pack a bag. Including a towel.

Specifically, that bag includes non-perishable food, medicines and a first aid kit, important ID documents, clothing and bedding, a utility knife, duct tape, a flashlight, soap, a change of clothes, and bedding of some sort (space age blankets fold up small). You will need a gallon of water a day, which is a bit hard to carry, but it sure beats drinking water contaminated with the bodily fluids of former friends and family members. You should also pick two meeting places, one close to home and one far away, to rendezvous after hacking your way through waves of the undead.
CDC Zombie Attacks

The other option to fighting zombies is to live off grid in Canada, far away from a potential outbreak, huddling by the radio with a flamethrower. Or just absorb the radiation and taste the solanum virus.