post here any embarrasing experiences you had in shops

CorkMan

I remember when I was 13 and went down to the video shop with my friend to get some VHS tapes to watch a movie. There wasn't that much of a great selection but we found a tape about a women called "Anna Nicole Smith".

The shop was just an ordinary one, and it has no porn section plus there were no porn images on the front or back of the cover. My friend was still looking at the tapes when I brought this one up the lady at the till to rent out. She gave me a weird look, but I didn't have a clue about what we were renting out.

BTW we both saw the movie at home but we were shocked when we saw it, but we didn't do any funny stuff, just looked at it. I didn't even ejaculate for the 1st time before I rented it out.

sgb

I did a really smelly guiness fart in Dunnes one Saturday morning, luckily the shop was busy so nobody knew it was me

discus

Took out money from my wallet and handed it to the cashier. Thought it was a fiver, it was actually a Boots Delay condom

Praetorian Saighdiuir

I bought tampons once........................stoopid sister in her rags and on crutches.

LimeTime

Once bought a huge, bright red dildo in a sex shop. And here's the embarrassing thing..................I.......I was................I was €2 short.:o:o:o

Sefirah

LimeTime wrote: »

Once bought a huge, bright red dildo in a sex shop. And here's the embarrassing thing..................I.......I was................I was €2 short.:o:o:o

€2 and 1 man
I'm sure the cashier could sort something out for you
Oooh this is how bad porn starts :O

The King of Moo

As a young kid, maybe 10, I was sent into a shop at a petrol station to get a few things, including the newspaper. The shop had two tills. I left the things on the counter, when the customer at the other till, a middle-aged woman with her nose stuck so far in the air I could count all her nasal hairs, looked at the newspaper and just took it. The sales assistant at her till rang it through, don't think he noticed what she'd done. The woman then just walked away. All the time I just stood there with a shocked look on my little face, and I remember just looking at the sales assistant, both shocked. Then I had to walk all the way right to the very back of the long shop where the papers were to get another one. The sales assistant never said anything, I think to further spare my blushes.
I wish I had been older/better able to react more quickly

Foxylady123

I was in Tescos one day and asked a lady in uniform for the price of something, she started laughing, i thought it wasnt that funny until she told me she didnt know as she worked in Dunnes Stores!!! Morto but we laughed every time we meet in the shop as we did our shopping!!!

kfallon

Was in Heatons one Xmas Eve, paid for my stuff, walked out only for the store alarm to go off, security guard comes over asks to see my bag and the receipt. Place was packed, stupid bint behind the counter forgot to scan the security thing on one item. Everyone looking like I was a thief.

Since that day I always expect those alarms in shops to go off when I walk thru them

MardiB

kfallon wrote: »

Was in Heatons one Xmas Eve, paid for my stuff, walked out only for the store alarm to go off, security guard comes over asks to see my bag and the receipt. Place was packed, stupid bint behind the counter forgot to scan the security thing on one item. Everyone looking like I was a thief.

Since that day I always expect those alarms in shops to go off when I walk thru them

Heatons, no expense spared eh;)

Surely I'm not the only one who has experienced the horror more so than embarrassment of being very young and walking a few steps holding on to a buggy before you realise it's not your mam pushing the buggy :eek:

phasers

I was caught robbin toilet paper from lidl

Shameful I know. I normally rob from M&S but it was an emergency!

SeaFields

kfallon wrote: »

Was in Heatons one Xmas Eve, paid for my stuff, walked out only for the store alarm to go off, security guard comes over asks to see my bag and the receipt. Place was packed, stupid bint behind the counter forgot to scan the security thing on one item. Everyone looking like I was a thief.

Since that day I always expect those alarms in shops to go off when I walk thru them

You should have rode your horse straight to a solicitor.

HappyTuesday

*cough*BULLSHIT*cough*

krudler

was meeting my girlfriend at the time for lunch and as I was walking through town I saw her go into a clothes shop up ahead of me, I walked in after her, saw her looking at a rail of dresses and walked up behind her and pinched her arse, it wasnt her. she saw the funny side though (the wrong girl, not the missus, never told her :pac: )

kfallon

MardiB wrote: »

Heatons, no expense spared eh;)

I bought stuff for myself there, my Xmas presents were long bought at that stage!

phasers

Ghandee wrote: »

Was in Tescos one evening and bought

1 x rasher
1 x sausage
1 x egg
1 x bagel

You can't buy one egg.

kfallon

phasers wrote: »

You can't buy one egg.

You also can't pass off jokes as real life experiences!

Aidric

Ghandee wrote: »

Was in Tescos one evening and bought

1 x rasher
1 x sausage
1 x egg
1 x bagel

The woman serving said to me "I bet your single?"

I said YEAH!!!! I am, did you know that just from me buying one of everything????:D:D:D

She said "NO!, its cos your one ugly fcuker!!"

Didnt feel to proud that day

Oh dear. You ripped that from a comedian, can't quite put my finger on who it was, possibly Billy Connolly.

Corruptedmorals

Probably doesn't count as I was working there...but the time I shouted 'Do you have a clubcard?' at the long queue instead of next please. Also shouted out my friend's name at the queue who was on the till next to me another time. Mortifyingly public.

As for being a customer...nothing really comes to mind? As for someone forgetting to take off a security tag, people ARE human you know. People are going to miss one out of the hundreds they deal with every single day.

Crackle

Nothing too embarrassing but 1 day I was in HMV buying a DVD. Anyway, I paid for it and got back my change & receipt and then headed for the door. Just as I was about to leave I realised I had no DVD in my hand and looked back to see the girl behind the counter holding up a bag and trying not to laugh at me. She had turned to get a bag for me after giving me my change and for some reason I took off. Felt a bit of a tool walking back to the counter.

LordSutch

My Mother once went into a corner shop in England & asked for a 'small brown pan' to which the owner said "The hardware shop is in the High Street Missus" he then screwed up his face and looked at her as if she was mad > she didn't argue, she just went red faced with embarrassment & fled in a hurry

She did of course mean a 'small loaf of bread' - truly priceless.

AlmostQuick

Many years ago I went into a shop called The Alchemist's Head to buy a book by Alesteir Crowley, a big book that cost a fortune. Anyway, I was off my tits and going back out of the shop started pushing a wall where I thought the door was. I reckon I was pushing for around five minutes before the sound of laughter alerted me to the fact I wasn't at the door! The book was **** too.

OhMeOhMy

Asked a foreign national working in a service station for 'a box of matches.'
'A box of matches?'
'Yeah, a box of matches.'
Guy comes back with eight boxes of matches. Wasn't embarrassing but we both saw the funny side

Abi

Crackle wrote: »

Nothing too embarrassing but 1 day I was in HMV buying a DVD. Anyway, I paid for it and got back my change & receipt and then headed for the door. Just as I was about to leave I realised I had no DVD in my hand and looked back to see the girl behind the counter holding up a bag and trying not to laugh at me. She had turned to get a bag for me after giving me my change and for some reason I took off. Felt a bit of a tool walking back to the counter.

That happens to me regularly. I pay for stuff then leave without whatever I bought. Only once did it happen the other way around.. I had a few things in the trolley in the home ware section in a shop in a large complex when I took a call, got so distracted by what I what was said to me that I'd gotten to the car park by the time I'd realized I'd stuff in the trolley. I was mortified. I went back to the shop, and straight up to customer services in a panic saying that I wanted to pay for stuff I left the store without paying but didn't want to get into bother with the security. She looked at the guy beside her and said, well he's the security guard with a smile.

"Well you're fucking useless' I said to him.. the two of them laughed, she took the money then all was good


Not a headline moment, but my mother laughed at something I said to her the other day in a crowded shop, and farted at the same time. I bolted in the other direction >_>

Gillington

MardiB wrote: »

Heatons, no expense spared eh;)

Good one

Gunslinger92

I was in a clothes shop one day, trying on a top with a zip. Tried to undo the zip but it was stuck :eek: Spent about 10 minutes pulling and tugging at it, it's a wonder I didn't break it! Eventually I had to go up to one of girls working there and say "Eh... Sorry.. I can't seem to get the zip undone..." She was sound about it though!

Mary28

I thought I had cystitis once when I was in Poland or Spain, can't remember which. I went to a pharmacists but I obviously had no idea what the Polish/Spanish word for cystitis was so I tried to explain with hand gestures and sound effects, making pissing sounds, pointing with my hand and saying Fire Fire. They had no idea what I was on about. Started off with one assistant, then another, then the pharmacist arrived in and he eventually guessed it and said the word for them and they all went "oh yes, hmmm", all disappointed with my charades attempt.

Twice in the last few months I haven't had enough money on my visa debit card to pay for my groceries in Dunnes. Totally mortified but they were so nice about it.

Blondini

Ghandee wrote: »

Was in Tescos one evening and bought

1 x rasher
1 x sausage
1 x egg
1 x bagel

The woman serving said to me "I bet your single?"

I said YEAH!!!! I am, did you know that just from me buying one of everything????:D:D:D

She said "NO!, its cos your one ugly fcuker!!"

Didnt feel to proud that day

PMSL

(in 1993)

oompaloompa

Wasn't in a shop, but I was once verbally abused for looking wrong at a really unconvincing cross dresser in a doctors surgery.... I actually wished the ground would swallow me up

Went for coffee with my mum, was nibbling happily on a chocolate muffin when she points out mould.... eugh:eek:

I take it up to counter, and politely point out the mould... it was white chocolate... looked funny in the muffin though :o:o:o:o:o:o

onlyrocknroll

Corruptedmorals wrote: »

Probably doesn't count as I was working there...but the time I shouted 'Do you have a clubcard?' at the long queue instead of next please.

Maybe it's just cos I've had a few drinks, but this is hilarious.

The Princess Bride

Browsing through MAGIC in ilac centre in dub years ago, we all had our rucksacks on our backs as we were heading away for the weekend.
Headed out of the shop , halfway down Henry St, couldn't understand why everyone was staring and pointing at me.
Then my friends noticed that a hideously gaudy shirt had caught onto the back of my rucksack - the alarm hadn't sounded when I'd left shop.Mortified, had to go and return it.:o

Seriously.

If I'd wanted to shoplift,I wouldn't have picked that thing.

tightropetom

Bought a phone in the O2 store and it kicked me in the face :-)

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Banned, I suppose...

!MAVERICK!

One summer in 2007, Me and my friends went crab fishing down by a slipway. We caught 2 buckets of crabs. A short while after we went into the Esso Garage across the street to buy refreshments until my other mate who was carrying one of the buckets spilled about 50 crabs all over the store's floor. They scattered swiftly like a magnetic pulse, running all around the shop under shelfs and tables. I immediately ran home.

Doop

Local shops, (just a row, with car park out front on a slight incline. Park the car mosey into the newsagents for some fags, browsing the papers,.. up to the counter to make my purchase. Security gaurd sticks his head in..

Security: 'Here Mister.... that your focus outside?'

'Sure is' says me a little confused

'Well its after rolling away'

Me: 'bolllix'
*while turning red and unsure whether one still waits for their change in these circumstances*

I declined my change and ran out, to find the car face into a bollard at the end of the car park, with of course the obligatory gang of lads hanging around outside finding the whole thing hilarious. Ran down to the car, got in and drove away without taking the time to check the damage.

Loveless

Was in Tesco a couple of weeks and the cashier asks the usual....

Cashier: "Do you have a clubcard?"
Me: "No..."

Cashier: "Would you like to sign up for a clubcard?"
Me: "No..."

Cashier: "Would you like cashback?"
Me: "No..."

Cashier: "Too many questions?"
Me: "Yes..."

YFlyer

I went into a cafe in Telford, England and asked the young wan behind the counter for a coffee and an apple tart.

She said what?

A coffee and an apple tart

what?

A coffee and an apple tart.

She looked at me as if i was insulting her. I then realised what I said and explained to her that an apple tart is the same as an apple slice or cake in Ireland.

face1990

YFlyer wrote: »

I then realised what I said and explained to her that an apple tart is the same as an apple slice or cake in Ireland.

Do they not call them tarts in England too??

garv123

we went into ann summers in cork once. myself another lad and a girl the 2 of us were curious to know what they had in there. the lad picked up a dildo and was shaking it laughing at it. whilst he was doing this myself and the other girl left the shop and looked in the door laughing. he went to turn to where we were to show us the dildo but instead he turned to see two women staring at him wondering why a 16 year old youngfella was standing in ann summers on his own holding a dildo.

Mezcita

Aged five or six I asked the shopkeeper in my local Spar how much the penny jellies were. Much to the hilarity of the entire shop.

Cnuts.

Toyota_Avensis

!MAVERICK! wrote: »

One summer in 2007.

i forgot there's more than one summer annually, spa.

YFlyer

face1990 wrote: »

Do they not call them tarts in England too??

yeah the durty burds

Unpossible

face1990 wrote: »

Do they not call them tarts in England too??

It was how he said it;
A coffee and an apple, tart

He then ate, shot and left

Chuck Stone

Paid for stuff and walked away leaving goods on the counter loads of times - I mean paying for stuff and then actually taking it with you are two totally seperate things right?

Was going to the shop one evening and I decided to write a list because I'm kinda absent-minded, anyway, finished writing the list and was heading out the door and heard my girlfriend laughing.. I'm like 'what's so funny?'.. she says 'you've only two items on that list - you better not lose it or you'll come back empty-handed' :pac:

Jesus Wept

phasers wrote: »

You can't buy one egg.

Sounds like a wager to me.

left_behind

Shopping with my gf in tescos. In the desert section i see my gf pick up 1of the deserts and isay with a pervy voice "thats a fine cream horn you got there". Needless to say this wasnt my gf.

Frank Black

Was in Spain staying in my parent’s apartment with the OH.
My parents had asked if we’d buy a plastic shower guard to replace the shower curtain that was in the bathroom.
Found a bathroom fittings shop – no sign of a shower guard but I did find some of the normal shower curtains – so I take one and go up the guy in the shop and try to explain in Spanglish what I’m looking for. The conversation ends with me pointing at the shower curtain and saying “plastico, plastico” over and over again.
Well my OH slagged me off about this for months – every time an opportunity arose to tell this “hilarious” anecdote to friends it was not passed up.
Then a year later I’m flicking through a Spanish phrase book and I remember this incident. I look up the Spanish for plastic – it’s only fecking “plastico”!
Que my demands for an immediate apology and that she contact all our friends to admit she was wrong.

I’m still waiting.

_feedback_

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

I was in a clothes shop one day, trying on a top with a zip. Tried to undo the zip but it was stuck :eek: Spent about 10 minutes pulling and tugging at it, it's a wonder I didn't break it! Eventually I had to go up to one of girls working there and say "Eh... Sorry.. I can't seem to get the zip undone..." She was sound about it though!

A bit similar to this. I was at the self service checkout in Tesco, and of course there was a good sized queue behind me. Scanned through everything and went to pay. The wallet was in a zipped pocket in my jacket, which of course was stuck. Those couple of minutes pulling like a lunatic on my jacket were a long two minutes!

I don't like seafood/fish. Walking around the supermarket with my GF and turned in to one of the frozen food isles, I stand there rubbing my hands together and loudly proclaim "ooohh lovely fish!!" with a big smile on my face. Turn around and the person beside me is not my GF.

kellsbells73

when I was 18 i finished with a guy and kinda got going with another soon after so was low key about it anyway I was in town with the new guy and went into a newsagent to get some gum so in we walk and my exes older sister was working there I was kinda embarressed so was a bit nervous anyway this is how the conversation went

me. how are you?
her. good and you?

~~~(shop started to get busy)

me.any news?
her. not really,you?
me.nothing much ah gotta go heres my bus
her.ok see you soon
me.(wanting to say take care /good luck/look after yourself) blurted out take a good look at yourself!! see ya!!

realising what i said ..I just ran out the door meanwhile trying to pick my fella off the ground from laughing!!

onlyrocknroll

Not in a shop but a train station.

My girlfriend and I were buying two return tickets from Antwerp to Bruges, which would have cost E54. The man behind the counter said that if we were under 26 (neither of us are) we would be able to buy a 10 trip ticket for E50, valid between any two stations in Belgium. He then asked us how old we were.

I said something like, "Eh... We are under 26... Em... we don't have any ID though... I'm twenty five,.... and she is ... em...twenty...five"

It was such a stupidly transparent lie that both the he, and the people behind us laughed out loud.

He still sold us the ticket though. Luckily the inspectors don't ask for ID, so far at least.

bnt

It's a bit hard to describe ... I had spent 18 hours on a Greyhound bus from Calgary to Vancouver, arriving at 5 in the morning. By later in the morning I had been up for over 24 hours, looked like a cat had dragged me through a hedge backwards, and decided to buy some clothes in a department store there (Eaton). The looks I got from staff while browsing through the underwear section ... and that was before a member of staff tried to speak to me. My accent would have been a problem at the best of times, but in my knackered state I may as well have been speaking Swahili. Just to add insult to injury, the underwear I got was a style I didn't like, and the wrong size: I take a L here, but L in that part of the world is like XXL here.

tmc86

I used to work in a petrol station and owned a bright red cooper looklike mini which would always be parked on the forecourt.

some customers would ask about it and have a chat once they knew it was mine.

One day a dwarf (hope that's P.C) came in to pay for his petrol and started asking about it saying he was into classic cars and rallies.

I was only delighted to be able to chat to someone, saving me from boredom however I got a bit too enthusiastic once he mentioned classic cars and rallies.

I said classic rallies are the way to go with minis and especially MG midgets.

As soon as the word midget came out I nearly swallowed my tongue, quickly started spouting all sorts about the cars to try and distract him from the fact that I had said "midgets" to him.

I think that he was amused at how uncomfortable I became!