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Oh.. to be able to switch it off !

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    #32
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    Pepe LeFrits wrote: »
    Well, the charter doesn't say mentioning it is against the rules, only discussing the methods/techniques involved in it.

    Well, promoting it appears to be banned and mentioning it could be seen as promoting it, I guess.

    OP, one thing I would say is: DON'T PUT WOMEN ON A PEDESTAL!!!

    No woman, even if she's a knock-out, is better than you. She might be better-looking than you*, but that's all. So don't worship her, just chat to her normally.

    *I have no idea what you look like, it's just a for instance.


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    #33
    sam34
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,073 ✭✭✭sam34


    can we drop the PUA talk please.

    and, as is usual on boards, if you have a problem with a post please report it rather than derailing the thread by discussing it there.


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    #34
    TaraFoxglove
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,057 ✭✭✭TaraFoxglove


    Apologies.


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    #35
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    sam34 wrote: »
    scanlas, as per the charter, discussion/promotion of PUA stuff is not permitted here, so post deleted

    Have a read of the blog I posted, the guy actually disapproves of traditional PUA techniques. The blog is about personal development as well as success with women. The content in his blog is potentially life changing for the better. Is it ok to private mail the blog to the OP?


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    #36
    Otis Driftwood
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,925 ✭✭✭Otis Driftwood


    PUA


    Ok folks,just to flesh out why we have banned discussion/promotion of PUA techniques.

    On the outside it looks like its just about having more confidence when approaching women,thats grand in theory however if you dig a little deeper,it most of it is incredibly narcissistic and essentially puts forward the idea that women are only there to serve the purpose of sexual gratification for men and they are there to be more or less tricked into bed.

    As such,it does not fit the ethos nor spirit of the forum,no matter how "innocent" it may seem.

    Scanlas,what you do in PM is your own business however any further mention of it in this or in any other threads for that matter may result in infractions or bans.

    Hope that clears things up.

    Regards,
    OD.


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    #37
    Raekwon
    Registered Users Posts: 4,535 ✭✭✭Raekwon


    Soul Stretcher wrote: »
    I just wanted other Gent's views/experiences/solutions :)

    It seems like you just need to boost your confidence with the opposite sex and the only suggestion I can think of is a total change of scenery. Get yourself away for a while and talk to different women in different environments. I can't think of anything worse then being stuck in a rut and having very limited options, so take the bull by the horns and expand your options and get yourself out there!

    Best of luck!


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    #38
    Soul Stretcher
    Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭Soul Stretcher


    Just back yesterday from a weekend away in England..

    Myself and a friend were wandering around the city centre when we came across a gay bar that had a great vibe and cheap shots.. so we said feck it, we'll go in and have a look. Ended up having a pretty intensive snog with the sister of one of the regulars (we were both pretty drunk !) but still it felt SO good during and afterwards.. to feel desired by someone who I found attractive ! :D So yes I can do this !! :D

    Gonna try Speed-dating in a couple of weeks - onwards and upwards !

    Thanks to all for your advices and encouragement !


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    #39
    listermint
    Registered Users Posts: 33,780 ✭✭✭✭listermint


    Soul Stretcher wrote: »
    Just back yesterday from a weekend away in England..

    Myself and a friend were wandering around the city centre when we came across a gay bar that had a great vibe and cheap shots.. so we said feck it, we'll go in and have a look. Ended up having a pretty intensive snog with the sister of one of the regulars (we were both pretty drunk !) but still it felt SO good during and afterwards.. to feel desired by someone who I found attractive ! :D So yes I can do this !! :D

    Gonna try Speed-dating in a couple of weeks - onwards and upwards !

    Thanks to all for your advices and encouragement !

    Great steps!! :)

    Oh, and it shows always be open. sh*t happens when you least expect it ;)

    I guess thats just life


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    #40
    bluecatmorgana
    Registered Users Posts: 447 ✭✭bluecatmorgana


    I know some people may disagree but have you considered a good prostitute that does cuddling? It could help get rid of that sex drive feeling/physical contact need.

    If that doesnt float your boat try a good masseuse, a massage can help you feel good about yourself and fulful the craving for sensual contact.


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    #41
    I_am_LOST
    Closed Accounts Posts: 250 ✭✭I_am_LOST


    Tremelo wrote: »
    I love this part actually. The trick, I find, is their hair. Seriously. So, suppose you're sitting beside a girl and you've been chatting and flirting, and, you want to take things to the next level and get physical. What should you do? Find some way to comment on their hair (nicely) so that you can touch it, slowly. I know this sounds weird, but I'm dead serious. If you touch her hair in the midst of a flirting-style situation and she's okay with that, 95% of the time, you can kiss her within moments (and do not ask if you can kiss her...her body language should be confirmation enough). This has worked beautifully for me in the past. It completely removes the will-I-won't-I-type of uncertainty. If on the other hand she reacts uncomfortably to you touching her hair, then back off.



    Dude. That's your problem right there - a lack of confidence. The trick is to be confident. It actually doesn't matter very much what you look like, as long as you're in reasonable shape, presentable, and can hold a conversation. The key with (most) women is not how you look, but how you make them feel. You often see average guys going out with stunning women. This is because those average guys are able to make those stunning women feel a certain way. You tease them, you bust on them, you should be cocky but not overbearing, and you should make them laugh. Don't try to please them; don't flatter them; and don't adopt a submissive role to show her how nice you are. It'll all fall into place for you if you become more confident. You're going to have to practice this of course, but that's fun.

    Now, this advice won't work on all women (and some women here may even disagree with me), but it does work on most women in my experience.

    Have to say, as a woman, I disagree with almost everything you just said lol. Must be just me!!

    But as you said, every woman is different. I'm just surprised it's worked on most women in your experience. The whole 'don't try to please them or flatter them' thing stands out. In my experience, flattery gets you a long way in life :D


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    #42
    Amtmann
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,093 ✭✭✭Amtmann


    I_am_LOST wrote: »
    The whole 'don't try to please them or flatter them' thing stands out. In my experience, flattery gets you a long way in life :D

    I once heard that "flattery is the food of fools". I've borne it in mind ever since and try not to get too happy whenever anyone pays me a compliment :)


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    #43
    chicken fingers
    Closed Accounts Posts: 645 ✭✭✭chicken fingers


    Tremelo wrote: »
    I once heard that "flattery is the food of fools". I've borne it in mind ever since and try not to get too happy whenever anyone pays me a compliment :)
    The Irish are terrible at taking compliments.


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    #44
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    I_am_LOST wrote: »
    But as you said, every woman is different. I'm just surprised it's worked on most women in your experience. The whole 'don't try to please them or flatter them' thing stands out. In my experience, flattery gets you a long way in life :D

    But if you read his post again, he is flattering the women (such as comments about hair). But he is just being smart about it and not being overly fawning.


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    #45
    Scanlas The 2nd
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭Scanlas The 2nd


    I_am_LOST wrote: »
    Have to say, as a woman, I disagree with almost everything you just said lol. Must be just me!!

    But as you said, every woman is different. I'm just surprised it's worked on most women in your experience. The whole 'don't try to please them or flatter them' thing stands out. In my experience, flattery gets you a long way in life :D

    Flattery from someone you already fancy maybe. But for the normal man to whom the woman isn't already attracted flattery should be mixed in with pushing her away figuratively speaking.

    I think this is why women tend to give bad advice to men. They give advice that could well work for a man she is already attracted to but doesn't work for a man she isn't attracted to. She pictures a man that she fancies already and imagines what he would have to do to pull her.


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    #46
    s-cogan
    Registered Users Posts: 496 ✭✭s-cogan


    Soul Stretcher wrote: »
    Sex drive that is. :D

    Perpetually single early 30's bloke who's never had a long-term relationship with a girl.

    Have never had a fulfilling sex-life with another person. Drives me nuts sometimes - the sheer frustration.

    I know it is probably critical to the survival of the species for us men to be so loaded with desire but man, give me a break !!

    I'm not a player/one-night stand merchant (not that there's anything wrong with that). I just don't have those skills. Yes, I've read PUA stuff but it didn't work out for me. I would like nothing more than a string of wanton harmless fun-filled one-nighters but I'll probably have to lose a couple of stone, get a new ward-robe, get some confidence with the ladies etc.

    That is grand - my dry spell/drought is down to my own lack of skills/practice etc but STILL.... can I not please switch it off for a few months until I get in better shape !!:D

    God - anyone else ever feel like this ??

    It's feels like I'm being propelled by a blind one-eyed train driver - so much so that sex/lack thereof is taking on way too much importance in my life. Like the drop of ink that discolours the whole jar of water. And I know that is REALLY unattractive to women - desperation - but my body IS yearning for some sensual human touch.

    Don't know what else to say. An aspect of the human condition I suppose !


    FYP


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    #47
    Soul Stretcher
    Closed Accounts Posts: 153 ✭✭Soul Stretcher


    Following on from Speed-dating, have a coffee date lined up for next weekend ! Onwards and upwards ! :D

    Not sure who'd be interested in this apart from my good self.. but just maybe to show others there's hope for all ! haha :)


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