Couples reading each other's texts

NomdePlume

What's the general feeling on this?

Lately a friend of mine mentioned to me that she and her fiance read each other's texts "all the time", not for a snoop but in front of each other. "Oh you just got a text from so-and-so, it says..." sort of thing.

This weirded me out a bit, and I'm now curious as to how common it is for couples to access each other's messages, and whether I am weird for feeling weirded out.

Micky Dolenz

That marriage will never last.

kfallon

Nobody reads my texts unless I show them!

If whoever text me wanted someone else to read them they'd have text that person too

Genghiz Cohen

Always ask first.

Kiera

I would ask my BF to read mine if I’m driving (he does the same), but if I found him snooping through my phone without my permission I wouldn’t be too happy.

Dangerdunf

My girlfriend always reads mine if I leave my phone around. Wrecks my head!!:mad:

hondasam

Nobody would want to read my txts.

Kiera

Dangerdunf wrote: »

My girlfriend always reads mine if I leave my phone around. Wrecks my head!!:mad:

Why don’t you tell her to stop?

Korvanica

Dangerdunf wrote: »

My girlfriend always reads mine if I leave my phone around. Wrecks my head!!:mad:

Same here, its bloody annoying...

sensibleken

wait....they can put their genitals in each others mouths but not read each others texts?

hondasam

Dangerdunf wrote: »

My girlfriend always reads mine if I leave my phone around. Wrecks my head!!:mad:

why Don't you lock your phone ?

stovelid

My phone has automatic lock with a swipe code.

It doesn't mean I have anything to hide but reading other people's texts can just lead to misunderstandings. And everybody deserves some privacy.

kfallon

Only thing worse than reading my texts is someone sending a text from my phone trying to be funny......that usually deserves a swift kick in the bollix/gee

Kiera

kfallon wrote: »

Only thing worse than reading my texts is someone sending a text from my phone trying to be funny......that usually deserves a swift kick in the bollix/gee

FFS! How many times do i have to say sorry????? :mad:

JustAddWater

Dangerdunf wrote: »

My girlfriend always reads mine if I leave my phone around. Wrecks my head!!:mad:

text yourself "Stop reading my texts!"

kfallon

Kiera wrote: »

FFS! How many times do i have to say sorry????? :mad:

What???
I'm on about people sending texts to your parents trying to be funny. One guy did it to a mate of mine years ago in The Bleeding Horse, I went mental, nearly hit the fooker

ibarelycare

I've no problem with anyone looking at my texts if I ask them to read them for me or if there's one that I want to show them and I tell them to look through my texts for it, but if I caught my boyfriend looking through my texts without my permission I'd be pretty pissed off. Not because I've anything to hide, but because it shows sneakiness and a lack of trust.

I'd never do it to anyone either. I think if that starts happening in a relationship it's the beginning of the end. I know of some girls (no guys, but that doesn't mean they don't do it either) who constantly check their bf's phones, emails and Facebook behind their back and they thing this is absolutely fine because there should be no secrets between couples :rolleyes:

Kiera

kfallon wrote: »

What???
I'm on about people sending texts to your parents trying to be funny. One guy did it to a mate of mine years ago in The Bleeding Horse, I went mental, nearly hit the fooker

Yeah you nearly hit me when i did it on your phone too, remember!

prinz

OH and I would do it the odd time but not regularly. No biggie. We've nothing to hide from each other tbh. Depends on the situation really, we usually have our phones with us so it doesn't arise, but if I'm out and have left my workphone at home say I'd ask her to read them, stuff like that.

kfallon

Kiera wrote: »

Yeah you nearly hit me when i did it on your phone too, remember!

I forgot about that and no I didn't!!!

Micky Dolenz

Dateline thata way >>>>>>>>>>>>

ibarelycare

prinz wrote: »

OH and I would do it the odd time but not regularly. No biggie. We've nothing to hide from each other tbh. Depends on the situation really, we usually have our phones with us so it doesn't arise, but if I'm out and have left my workphone at home say I'd ask her to read them, stuff like that.

But would you do it in another situation? Like if she left her phone at home and went out would you go "Oh I think I'll have a read of her texts"?

ShamoBuc

Never had a problem with the wife reading my texts - that said, I always delete the dirty ones.

prinz

ibarelycare wrote: »

But would you do it in another situation? Like if she left her phone at home and went out would you go "Oh I think I'll have a read of her texts"?

No... but have done it for the craic when she is there.. and she has done it when I'm present. Don't see any harm in it, but it definitely wouldn't be a case of sneaking a look or being sly or underhand about it.

ibarelycare

prinz wrote: »

No... but have done it for the craic when she is there.. and she has done it when I'm present. Don't see any harm in it, but it definitely wouldn't be a case of sneaking a look or being sly or underhand about it.

But why would you look at someone else's texts "for the craic"? What's fun about it?

NomdePlume

prinz wrote: »

No... but have done it for the craic when she is there.. and she has done it when I'm present. Don't see any harm in it, but it definitely wouldn't be a case of sneaking a look or being sly or underhand about it.

Would you ever read each other's emails? How about letters? Just wondering if there's a boundary somewhere, or if this tends to apply only to texts.

BostonB

If you've something to hide you shouldn't leave it on your phone, or unlocked. Thats just dumb. If you've nothing to hide, then there really no issue with someone looking at your texts is there. Of course you might have other stuff on their, financial stuff, family business etc. That they are not entitled to know.

Theres a difference between a couple who haven't been together that long, and a couple who've been together years. Wait till you have kids and they start working out your pin no and going through your stuff, phones, ipods, laptops, DVD collection, movies on your media box, books, magazines.

Dublinstiofán

Dangerdunf wrote: »

My girlfriend always reads mine if I leave my phone around. Wrecks my head!!:mad:

Its called a passcode and you can change it as many times as you like.

cosanostra

My mates woman not only reads his messages but replies and then deletes them, we only found this out recently and were wondering why he always refused to go on the beer!

Aoifey!

On my phone the first few words of the message comes up before you go into it and my boyfriend has a really annoying habit of reading the start bit. I think he just does it cause he knows it annoys me, he couldn't care less what it actually says.

NomdePlume

BostonB wrote: »

If you've something to hide you shouldn't leave it on your phone, or unlocked. Thats just dumb. If you've nothing to hide, then there really no issue with someone looking at your texts is there. Of course you might have other stuff on their, financial stuff, family business etc. That they are not entitled to know.

It's not even purely about the couple wanting total transparency in their relationship. It's also about everyone who texts them.

I barely know my friend's fiance. And now I realise he has probably read a lot of my texts to her over the years.

In fairness I've never texted her about anything very personal, but if I had, I would have figured it was a private text. If this text-sharing thing is common, I can consider myself really naive for thinking that.

BostonB

In the modern world don't email, text, facebook, or write down anything you don't want on the 9 O'clock news. A slip of a key and boom its sent to the wrong person.



...or you fall out with someone and then they all that stuff saved....

AnonoBoy

BostonB wrote: »

In the modern world don't email, text, facebook, or write down anything you don't want on the 9 O'clock news. A slip of a key and boom its sent to the wrong person.



...or you fall out with someone and then they all that stuff saved....

Your texts and emails must be the most boring on the planet if you stick to that rule.

Mike 1972

sensibleken wrote: »

wait....they can put their genitals in each others mouths but not read each others texts?

Do hookers read their clients texts ?

BostonB

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Your texts and emails must be the most boring on the planet if you stick to that rule.

On the traceable phone anyway......;)

hardCopy

BostonB wrote: »

On the traceable phone anyway......;)

Keep it on the burner kids

Lcronin2011

If my boyfriend left the room before and left his phone i would have a look through his messages just out of curiosity. Stopped doing it though because he did it to me one day and i realised how annoying it is. Plus who cares about text messages!

Zebra3

Lcronin2011 wrote: »

If my boyfriend left the room before and left his phone i would have a look through his messages just out of curiosity. Stopped doing it though because he did it to me one day and i realised how annoying it is. Plus who cares about text messages!

Maybe their friends who sent them something private not expecting some nosey person to be reading something that is none of their business. :rolleyes:

amandaf675

Under no circumstances does anyone read my texts! Id actually knock someone out! its not because im hiding anything but i like my privacy!

wild_cat

Can I ask any who does read their partners messages do you not trust them or what?

If that's the reason you need to sort it out.

AckwelFoley

i couldnt care less if she reads my texts, ive nothing to hide anymore

..if her mother read my texts, that would be a different matter.. "YOU DID THAT WITH WHAT?"

deathrider

Nobody texts me

Lcronin2011

wild_cat wrote: »

Can I ask any who does read their partners messages do you not trust them or what?

If that's the reason you need to sort it out.

As i said i used to do it and stopped. And its not that i dont trust him coz i trust him 100%! I didn't go through them coz i thought he was texting another girl or that i would find dodgy messages, it was just out of curiosity??

Teyla Emmagan

cosanostra wrote: »

My mates woman not only reads his messages but replies and then deletes them, we only found this out recently and were wondering why he always refused to go on the beer!

That is totally ****ed up.

wild_cat

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

That is totally ****ed up.

I'd break up with someone for that and I tolerate lots of shit behaviour but privacy is a big thing.

amandaf675

wild_cat wrote: »

I'd break up with someone for that and I tolerate lots of shit behaviour but privacy is a big thing.

x2

Sofiztikated

Lcronin2011 wrote: »

As i said i used to do it and stopped. And its not that i dont trust him coz i trust him 100%! I didn't go through them coz i thought he was texting another girl or that i would find dodgy messages, it was just out of curiosity??

Curiosity of what? What were you curious about?

My Mrs did it once or twice to me when we were younger, I soon put her straight on that.

My phone is my phone. Mine. Yes, we are a couple, I love her to bits, have no secrets from her, but I still have my personal space. And for me, my phone is my personal space.

Lcronin2011

Sofiztikated wrote: »

Curiosity of what? What were you curious about?

My Mrs did it once or twice to me when we were younger, I soon put her straight on that.

My phone is my phone. Mine. Yes, we are a couple, I love her to bits, have no secrets from her, but I still have my personal space. And for me, my phone is my personal space.

i dont know..
Good thing you put her straight!!

Sofiztikated

Lcronin2011 wrote: »

i dont know..
Good thing you put her straight!!

Damn straight. Nothing a quick punch to the ovaries didn't sort out.

I in no way condone/commit spousal abuse. But it's AH, I'm trying to be funny, in a non funny way.

hondasam

Sofiztikated wrote: »

Damn straight. Nothing a quick punch to the ovaries didn't sort out.

I in no way condone/commit spousal abuse. But it's AH, I'm trying to be funny, in a non funny way.

IN other words your wife wears the trousers

Lorrrrraine

I've never heard of anybody doing it and wouldn't do it myself.
What if a friend is texting something private?