Girl or Woman?

twirlagig

Totally random thought from earlier today

Just chatting with the girls/women in work today and I'm not even sure where or how it came about but someone came up in conversation and we remarked she was a 'lovely girl' - (NO Fr Ted Jokes please! )

Said 'girl' must be 38/39-ish maybe, I don't know... Anyway, I don't know how it got started but we got into this girl or woman discussion. Chatted about loads of people we knew and instantly we all agreed on the spot whether they were 'women' or 'girls' ... And this included a lot of people around the same age... Some looked actually older but were still girls? And more were younger and women?

I don't know... I'm female myself (36) but it was a funny observation the way it went -

Anyway, thats randomness for ya!

Dudess

I think it depends on how a woman carries herself - e.g. if she's got the mammy hairstyle, she's a woman.

twirlagig

Yeahh maybe Dudess - it was just so weird the way the instant reply came up

miec

Hi Op

I classify myself as a woman, there is very little girliness in me.

SheRa

Id use both interchangably. No real reason for it really.

I wouldn't call anyone who is obviously in their 30's a girl.
I would find it odd to be described like that myself.

theg81der

I would consider myself a girl even thou I`m 30 think its about mindset. I have a feeling aswell that this goes back to whether the woman has had a child yet or not. It does change every woman drastically and I can see why it would make a difference.

My mum calls her friends "the girls". They're all 60-80 years old. I don't get it tbh. I'd say I'm a girl (20 yo), as far as my womanliness goes I let my chest do the talking!

--LOS--

I hate the word woman but I think I would generally class anyone of my mothers sort of era as a woman and anyone younger a girl. Woman sounds so serious, it would be weird ever being called that.

we'llallhavetea_old

i hate being called a woman, it reminds me of oul wans with enormous swingin tits and hairy armpits

i call all females girls, unless they have big swingin tits. then they're women.

beks101

Definitely think of myself as a girl, 'woman' sounds weird...it's too matronly, mature, serious for me! I'm mid 20s and have been referred to as a 'woman' a handful of times...not a fan of it! Or worse yet...'lady'!

Count Duckula

I use the terms depending on familiarity. If it's someone I know well and am very fond of, I refer to them as girls. If not, then women. I do the same with blokes - if I'm close to them then they're lads, if not then they're just men.

Azureus

It depends on context imo. Im in my early twenties and have been called girl, woman and lady. My mam insists on calling me a 'young woman' as do the older ladies in work.

With people my own age is would always be girl. But that can be quite patronising in a work scenario professional context ie my pet peeve is when someone responds to something you have done saying 'good girl' >:(

mconigol

As a man: woman > girl

Dudess

I don't think about it, I just say what comes naturally - and unless it's a considerably mature female - it's "girl". I've friends in their early 40s and I'd refer to them as "girls" - they seem a good bit younger than their age though.

Morag

Woman, do not think of or refer to myself as a girl.
I was a girl until I was 18 then I was a young woman and now I am past 25 there's no point in sticking young in front of it.

woodturner

I hate using both of those words. Whenever i refer to a female I always say lady.

sam34

in a work setting, people sometimes refer to me as "girl", presumably because i'm relatively young to be in the job i'm in... it infuriates me, i find it patronising and condescending, and a male in my position would not be called "boy".

socially/casually, it still irks me, though not as much. i'm not a girl, "girl" implies "child", and i am not a child.

we'llallhavetea_old

i'd like to point out that i refer to males as boys unless they are my dads age. sure i'm a girl, i can't be kissin men like.

pow wow

Preferably girl - woman just seems very 'old' to me or something. I don't feel like I'm in that territory yet. However, when mothers tell their kids 'don't walk into the lady' and they're referring to me...that's way worse than 'woman'!

theg81der

Would be interesting to see if the ehhh...what to call them .....girls/women who adamantly want to be called women are shorter than the ones who want to be called girls. In my experience with friends, relatives etc the girls/womens who are short are sensitive about been seen as a child so are keen to be seen as women whereas us tall girls have been mistaken for adults since early teens often and so are somewhat sensitive about appearing older than they are so are quite pleased when refered to as a girl.

CK2010

i feel really weird referring to myself as a woman and im 21 and have a child. i always say girl!
i get called 'the lady' when at work by mothers to their kids, like pow wow said, but id say the same to my daughter if we're out. anyone over twelve or so i say 'lady' so as not to offend!

boomkatalog

I'm the same CK, 21 and find it strange to be referred to as a woman.

Having said that, when a male friend of mine referred to the people in our class as "men and girls" I was kinda offended. Depends on the context I guess, in a professional sense I'd rather be referred to as a woman.

Funny topic really, I wondered about this recently as a newsreader said something about a "17 year old man" the other day on the news and I had kinda always assumed hitting the 18 mark was the difference.

Also: HATE being called miss by people older than me at work :pac:

Dolbert

I dunno, I have no problem being referred to as a woman, I am a grown one pushing thirty after all!

One of my previous employers was only a few years older than me, yet she used to say 'good girl' by way of praise. Always made me wince even though there was nothing bad behind it.

Having said that I'd always call my female friends 'the girls', who range in age from early twenties to mid forties!

Ickle Magoo

I think it depends on context, obviously in a professional capacity I don't expect to be referred to as a girl and yet when someone refers to me as the lady I feel about 90...as long as no offence is intended then I'm female, woman, girl, I don't really mind which.

WindSock

I think for many peoplm the word woman has negative connotations.

I don't like to use the word girl for adults but I find myself doing it from time to time.

Easier to say 'yer wan'

Mallei

Woman.

Anyone who calls me "girl" I insist on calling boy, and they never like that.

ToniTuddle

WindSock wrote: »

Easier to say 'yer wan'

Yup that's a very handy phrase!

I'm a girl. Most definitely do not feel like a woman....woman to me is someone my mums age(60s!)

In fact...hardly even a girl...I'm a feicin big kid and get called that more times than called girl/woman :pac:

IrishEyes19

I think people make a seriously big deal of it. Some people have a habit of saying girl or woman as a term, and some people get so offended, when truthfully theres no offence intended. Id be offended when people use swear words that are rude and insulting towards female body parts to be honest. I hate when females often refer to other females as bi*ches or use the word c*nt or t*ts and words like that. Its amazing then that the same women/girls who use these terms against their own sex will take offence been called either a girl or a woman.

chocgirl

sam34 wrote: »

in a work setting, people sometimes refer to me as "girl", presumably because i'm relatively young to be in the job i'm in... it infuriates me, i find it patronising and condescending, and a male in my position would not be called "boy".

socially/casually, it still irks me, though not as much. i'm not a girl, "girl" implies "child", and i am not a child.

I agree with this on the work front! I find it really offensive that I'm still referred to as a girl or even worse "the little girl" or "the little one" while male colleagues the same age are men or gentlemen. I just think it's belittling but because it's so common I've stopped throwing cold glances.

I initially thought it was because I am young but apparently I'll just have to get used to it as I can still expect it when I'm 50:mad:

Outside of work I don't really care, I'm not offended either way.

Aishae

ah sure theyre all lovely! (couldnt resist!)

why not call an older woman a girl... sure thats just her sex really! even though 'girl' has become a word to describe a younger lady. either way theyre still ladies.
not mad on the word woman just because it sounds a tad stuffy but its not a big deal. im a girl in a womans body

Posy

I'm in my late twenties, but still prefer being called a 'girl' or even 'lady(!?)' at a push.
'Woman' would almost be an insult to me because I'd feel like I'm being called old!
I'm not married with kids, don't even have a boyfriend- I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, I still get asked for ID semi-regularly and I wear my hair in pigtails a lot. I'd definitely consider myself a girl! (although not a pink sparkly girly girl!!)

kerash

This is something that has happened to me recently in my job - i speak to people on the phone all day and a lot of older gents will call me a 'good girl' which is quite endearing rather that patronising imo, but I'd think of myself as a woman.
It's weird that a lot of ye find being called a Woman insulting! But yeah i see some females as 'women' and some as 'girls'

it's mad altogether ted

strobe

I'd refer to some girls I know as 'girls'. I'd refer to some boys I know as 'boys'. If anyone made a point of taking an issue with that I would refer to them as 'idiots'. Then I would 'endeavour' never to 'speak' to the 'idiot' again if I could help 'it'.

vampire of kilmainham

yis are all ol wan's if yis are over 30:D

sam34

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

I think people make a seriously big deal of it. Some people have a habit of saying girl or woman as a term, and some people get so offended, when truthfully theres no offence intended

if it's used as a turn of phrase like "go way outta that girl" then i don't get bothered by that.

but it's when, in a work environment, someone says something like "aren't you a grand girl" / "do that for me like a good girl" that it becomes patronising and condescending. in my job, i am at the top of my game - the only rung left on the ladder would be professor - yet people still refer to me as "girl" in that manner. i can say with certainty that a male in the equivalent position would not be told "you're a good boy".

Eve_Dublin

Interesting topic.

Doesn't anyone else think it's strange that negative connotations are attached the to word, "woman" and ever ask why? It's as if growing up and becoming one is a negative thing. Were supposed to remain eternally youthful hence the stigma attached to the word. An adult female is a woman...men don't call themselves boys (except here in Spain...hilarious). To call yourself a man has positive connotations. Why is this?

Am I reading too much into it? I personally find the word woman very sexy. I remember a man said to me, "Wow, you're a whole load of woman aren't you?" one time when we got nuddy and I found it very sexy but I still feel I'm about 15 mentally sometimes. To me the word "woman" is bigger than me. Woman = a sexy woman who is totally comfortable with themselves and I don't feel I'm there yet even though I'm almost 31.

I'd have no problems with anyone calling me one though. I'd take it as a compliment. I think we should take the word back and make it our own instead of calling ourselves "girls". I believe were kind of patronising ourselves by labelling ourselves as such.

Eve_Dublin

vampire of kilmainham wrote: »

yis are all ol wan's if yis are over 30:D

This is what I'm talking about....the negative attitude to women growing up and becoming women. Why would we go along with this attitude ourselves?

sam34

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I personally find the word woman very sexy. I remember a man said to me, "Wow, you're a whole load of woman aren't you?" one time when we got nuddy and I found it very sexy but I still feel I'm about 15 mentally sometimes. To me the word "woman" is bigger than me. Woman = a sexy woman who is totally comfortable with themselves and I don't feel I'm there yet even though I'm almost 31.

thats just reminded me of a time i was having some sexy time with an guy 10 years older than me who i had fancied for ages, in teh course of things he said to me "you're a hot, horny woman" and i remember thinking "wow! he called me a woman, not a girl, he thinks i'm a woman!" and being ridiculously pleased.

Aoifums

I always call people girls. Women are my mam's age. I did get called a cailín by my Irish Oral examiner and I was miffed. I haven't been called a cailín since primary school!!

feels2gd2btrue

i'm 19 and i'm often called a lady!!! once when i was in town a child bumped into me and the mom said "mind the lady". lady sounds ten times worse than woman! a lady is someone in their seventies with a blue perm and ten cats not a teenager

Oh_Noes

I don't understand the use of the word "youngfella". I get called it the odd time and I'm 29, but I'd often hear it being used when talking about a 4 year old. Don't get me wrong, I like being called it now because it makes me feel younger when I'm hitting 30 but when I was about 21 or 22 it used to wind me up because I felt like I was being classified as a child still.

"Man" in Ireland when used by women seems generally to refer to someone with grey hair. Yet some of my friends started greying in their 20s or so and still get called youngfellas. The term "lads" seems to be used when describing any male of any age by other men, but when used by women it's generally referring to younger lads (as opposed to ouldfellas).

It is all very confusing but still seems to work nonetheless.

Wilde86

I work in a theatre box office and I get a lot of people saying 'good girl' or if there was an issue with a particular booking it's always 'but the girl said..' even if a female did not make the booking with this person. I am in my mid twenties and my colleague is in her early thirties and we both find this highly frustrating and rude. I don't really care if someone would refer to me as a girl in most situations but in situations like that I think it just comes down to bad manners on their part. And I'm a stickler for manners.

siabhradh

Maybe we should just say good person you are, as not to cause any
distress to the sensitive types in our community until we know them.

Wilde86

Good lad.

Wantobe

I'm a 39 year old solicitor and get called that 'lady solicitor' or occasionally get complimented that I'm a 'good girl'. Frankly beyond a wry smile at the 'good girl' it washes off me as I'm comfortable in my skin at this stage and don't feel the need to assert myself. If anything I care less as I get older- in my twenties I probably wouldnt have been impressed with a 'good girl'.:o

I don't seem to get the 'woman' thing but none of them are offensive to me anyway.

Morag

WindSock wrote: »

I think for many peoplm the word woman has negative connotations.

Why?

Wantobe

Wantobe wrote: »

I'm a 39 year old solicitor and get called that 'lady solicitor' or occasionally get complimented that I'm a 'good girl'. Frankly beyond a wry smile at the 'good girl' it washes off me as I'm comfortable in my skin at this stage and don't feel the need to assert myself. If anything I care less as I get older- in my twenties I probably wouldnt have been impressed with a 'good girl'.:o

I don't seem to get the 'woman' thing but none of them are offensive to me anyway.

A good girl!
I think I would be replying 'thanks you're a good boy/girl too'!

WindSock

Sharrow wrote: »

Why?

Well, whenever there is a sexist insult it is usually woman this or that. Woman driver, shut up, Woman, women, etc.

Usually girl when used as an insult is followed by stupid. Girly or girl seems more innocent or naiive. Woman seems to conjure up a battle axe or mother type.

Emme

I'm 39 and get called "madam" a lot more than I used to which I find disconcerting. Occasionally people call me a "girl", a colleague from Cork does it all the time but that's just a colloquialism, everyone is "boy" or "girl" in Cork!

Maybe I should move to Cork.:D

Maple

It depends on the context & the level of familiarity for me. I often refer to my girlfriends as "the girls".

I don't mind being called girl/woman/lady, but it does all depend on context and the tone of the statement.