"Dear Mr. Cúnt......" Funny Banking Story.

mahamageehad

Sisko wrote: »

lies

Shhh leave him alone, he's busy learning how to use photoshop! :P

chillywilly

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

So, as it turns out, (I found this out much later) my cousin had actually texted with my address and put the name down as "Mr. Cúnt Face". Someone in the mail room/automatic letter forming room obviously wasn't doing their job because, as the BigBossLady said to me, the system should have flagged the vulgarity. I reckon someone in the mail room saw it but let it go through for the laugh:pac:

That's gas! I actually worked in the post room of Ulster Bank in 2007! Do you know if it came from Georges Quay or Leopardstown? I definitely would have remembered something like that, I can tell you though that the letters came to the post room already in envelopes from "upstairs" and there was so many of them that we just counted and bagged them....no room for lookin' at the names, I regret it now though

Napper Hawkins

A short, skinny, chinese lad who worked in my local a few years back was called "Lo Fat".

I **** thee not.

Aoifey!

I really, really hope this is true!

UglyBolloxFace

Sisko wrote: »

lies

I'm not sad enough to 'lie' to try to impress internet strangers:rolleyes:

El Siglo

There was a fella giving a talk in QUB one day to a bunch of postgrads, his name was Dawson Stealthfox. Probably the coolest name ever.

CDfm

It is a cool story and these things happen.

I worked with a lady named Sally Conquest in London who worked in Direct Marketing.She used to get letters addressed Dear Fanny ...... she never knew who put her details in business reply cards.

Something similar happened a lady I know named Henrietta and like you she had the chuzpah to pull it off.

krudler

We have a customer called Win Success, I thought it was the name of a company when I first saw her account lol

krudler

El Siglo wrote: »

There was a fella giving a talk in QUB one day to a bunch of postgrads, his name was Dawson Stealthfox. Probably the coolest name ever.

That is indeed an awesome name. we have a family of travellers who have some utterly ridiculous names, Madonna O'Donnell is one , and Lourdes Chastity Ward is another.

Theres a guy who rings in all the time who's first name is John, but he refers to himself as Frank. and it causes utter confusion on his account. "its what people know me as" is his excuse, wtf?! its not even close to your actual name! Frank instead of Francis, or Jack instead of John, that I'll buy, but Frank instead of John?! makes no sense.

Then theres the transgender customer, although I'm not sure if he's a man becoming a woman or the other way around, as he/she has a really deep voice but a female name, so either they've had hormone treatment and not a name change yet, or the other way around.

iMax

My brother lives 30 miles away & I used to every couple of days, post him a packet of Jelly Bellys in a small parcel, just too large for the letterbox so the postman would have to knock. These were addressed to the likes of:

Liz Behan
Stew Pedasol
Yu Sok Kok
Crispen Evenn
Denis Elbow
Emma Wroid
Hugo Firsd
Ben Dover
Hugh Cumber
Warwick Hunt
Randy Neighbour
Dick Head
Harry Phanni
Betty Swollocks
& of course the obligitory Mike Hunt

Had to stop as the postman thought they were being harassed & asked them one day it they'd like to get the guards involved

misterdeeds

MCMLXXV wrote: »

There's quite a few unusual names floating around in the motor trade. I've no problem posting these names as they are widely known and available on the interweb.

Michael Lyng Motors in Kilkenny, my contact was his son Neil as in 'Neil Lyng' (kneeling)!

Dude in an Opel dealership that is now closed, his name was 'Lee Cooper'!

Dude who runs the Fiat / Alfa Dealership by the Red Cow is called 'Prosper Kickham' - no sh1t!

I used to deliver to this drapery shop in cork and ur ones name was annette curtain (a net curtain) true story

iMax

El Siglo wrote: »

There was a fella giving a talk in QUB one day to a bunch of postgrads, his name was Dawson Stealthfox. Probably the coolest name ever.

I used to work with an American (naturally) guy called "Dexter Phoenix".

He was black, tall, very fit, shaved head, this amazing deep voiced accent & was genuinely an all round fantastic guy. Women used to go weak at the knees in his presence. He was gay & whenever he told them they'd be so upset. More than one asked him for the chance to make up his mind.

UglyBolloxFace

chillywilly wrote: »

That's gas! I actually worked in the post room of Ulster Bank in 2007! Do you know if it came from Georges Quay or Leopardstown? I definitely would have remembered something like that, I can tell you though that the letters came to the post room already in envelopes from "upstairs" and there was so many of them that we just counted and bagged them....no room for lookin' at the names, I regret it now though

The subsequent letters came from the main Ulster Bank office in College Green/right beside Trinity College. Not sure about the initial letter, but as I said when I get back to Dublin, or according to some here when I become an expert with Photoshop:rolleyes::pac:, I'll upload them.

talla10

If somebody got a letter from a bank these days calling their customer a cnut they'd be looking for a lot more than a hamper!!!

Aka Ishur

Dealy with an american dude the other day. His name? ''Judge Black''

me - and what can i do for you today Mr Black?
him - Just call me Judge.

Dude sounded like samuel l jackson as well.

AckwelFoley

I predict great things for you on boards.ie uglybolloxface, great things

UglyBolloxFace

snyper wrote: »

I predict great things for you on boards.ie uglybolloxface, great things

Interesting. Please elaborate, oh Dearest Snyper.

P.S. is **that girl** still under your bed?

snooleen

Was reading Cosmopolitan once, and in the part where people write in for advice they had a gynaecologist giving advice on sexual health issues and her name was Rebecca McGee. Not 100% sure it was Rebecca but most definitely McGee..ridiculous.

UglyBolloxFace

snooleen wrote: »

Was reading Cosmopolitan once, and in the part where people write in for advice they had a gynaecologist giving advice on sexual health issues and her name was Rebecca McGee. Not 100% sure it was Rebecca but most definitely McGee..ridiculous.

I think her first name was actually Havalukka. From Hawaii apparently.

AckwelFoley

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Interesting. Please elaborate, oh Dearest Snyper.

P.S. is **that girl** still under your bed?

No, sold her on ebay to some lad in birmingham.

DHL.

Tip: 12 small parcels is cheaper than one big one

UglyBolloxFace

snyper wrote: »

No, sold her on ebay to some lad in birmingham.

DHL.

Tip: 12 small parcels is cheaper than one big one

I've never used this phrase before and I don't intend on ever, ever using it again but - lmfao.

NinjaTruncs

In fairness to the bank, Mr C*nt Face is a step up from Mr Uglybollox Face

AckwelFoley

NinjaTruncs wrote: »

In fairness to the bank, Mr C*nt Face is a step up from Mr Uglybollox Face

no its not.

"Uglybolloxface" is an epic user name, one which im pissed off i didnt think of first

pickarooney

El Siglo wrote: »

There was a fella giving a talk in QUB one day to a bunch of postgrads, his name was Dawson Stealthfox. Probably the coolest name ever.

I've met this guy somewhere before. Can't for the life of me remember where.

bigfeller

One of our support team in India was called Anil Mistry.

Orando Broom

Dawson Stelfox, was the first Irishman to climb Everest, I believe. He runs some sort of motivational company or some such. Climbers tend to own such things.

EL_Loco

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Hamper was fucking delish.

I think they got your moniker spot on. ya baaassss......

iPlop

Upload that letter this instant! ,come on, Chop Chop!!

coffeyb6

Eh Avalon Shiels is my friend I'm totally sending her this post so she can see she's famous

smash

where's the letter?